D: hail satan
D: rain satan
D: snow satan
D: tomorrow there is a 90% chance of precipisatan
D: It'll be foggy in the morning, lots of condensatan
W: it's kind of conceited to talk about yourself so much
D: I was just talking about the weather
D: So I calculated it. And it would only take about 400 people to get enough iron to forge a steel longsword
W: What
D: You know how fantasy books talk about swords 'forged with the blood of enemies'
D: Well I calculated it out, and if you drained about 400 adult men of their blood, and extracted the iron from it, you would have enough for a longword
D: Forged from the blood of your enemies
W: Thats pretty neat
D: i know right
D: How to make emo cakes:
D: Milk
D: Butter
D: Eggs
D: Sugar
D: We're
D: Going
D: Down
D: Swinging
W: help I'm broke I spent all my money on Fritos
W: jk I have 4 more dollars just enough for more fritos
W: help I'm broke I spent all my money on fritos
D: I wonder how many ponytails I can put in my hair
D: I can put 25 ponytails in my hair
W: There is this girl in school who has a British accent but she's not from England and one time I met her parents at a school event and they didn't have a British accent either
W: So I asked her where she got the accent from because I was really confused and she told me her parents faked it until she was 7 because they wanted a child with a British accent
D: done.
D: I'm so done all i can do is lay on the floor
D: 10000000000% done.
D: Roses are red
W: Violets are blue
D: Garlic bread
W: Blink 182
D: I put the hot in photo
W: I thought this said 'I put the hot in potato' I'm such an idiot
D: Civil War Jokes?
D: I General Lee don't find them funny
D: you don't know true competition until you're one of the last two people in musical chairs
W: I nearly killed someone like this once
D: the chair games
W: may the chairs be ever in your favor
D: game of thrones
W: I have so much homework
D: so what movie are you gonna watch
W: I've decided to leave my past behind me, so if I owe you money…
W: I'm sorry, but I've moved on
D: I am rich enough to hire a hitman and no one will ever trace it back to me.
W: so its 54 dollars right
D: if you're ever going to stab someone, stab them, then punch them were you stabbed. They won't feel the knife wound and just think you hit them.
W: okay thanks
W: ah, yes the Trojan horse. Or as I like to call it,
W: Murderous piñata
W: then all the reindeer loved him
W: as they shouted out with glee
W: rudolph the red nosed reindeer
W: you'll GO DOWN IN HISTORY REMEMBER ME FOR CENTURIES
D: I just called the last day of school the season finale of school
W: step away from the tumblr
D: sleeping is nice because you're not actually dead and you're not awake so its a win-win situation
W: its like being dead without the commitment
D: an open relationship with death
W: death with benefits
W: if cockroaches can survive atomic bombs and chemical warfare, what is in a can of Raid?
D: Chuck norris
W: ah ha! got it!
D: I don't have 'ah ha!' moments, I have more like 'ah sh*t' moments
D: if a plant is sad do other plants photosymphathize with it
W: "I chlorofeel you man"
D: how about nope
D: there are many time I am grateful that thought bubbles don't appear over my head
D: cause sometimes even the little devil on my shoulder asks "what the hell are you doing now?"
D: I've got like 50 pairs of sunglasses but they're all lost why cant i keep track of them
W: so you might say,
W: that you have 50 shades of grey
D: you really wanna go there
D: so light em up up up, light em up up up, light em up up up
D: Harry, did you put your name in the Goblet of Fiiiiiyhahhhhhhhhh
W: Exercise
W: …Ex..er…cise…
W: …Ex..Ar…Size
W:…Eggs…are…sides
W: …For Bacon…
W: Bacon.
W: I can't find anyone to help me at Home Depot
D: just get up on one of those tall orange step ladders
W: dude it worked
W: but I got kicked out of the store
W: WHAT COLOR ARE MIRRORS
D: lets reflect on this
D: so Waldo from Where's Waldo
D: he wears stripes
D: because he doesn't want to be spotted
W: im gonna hit something
W: if I cut off my foot and swing it at your head am I kicking or hitting you
D: you'll most likely mentally scar me more than anything
W: Merry christmas? WHAT ABOUT PIPPIN CHRISTMAS
D: YA BUT WHAT ABOUT SECOND CHRISTMAS
W: Type O Blood was actually meant to be Type Zero blood, due to the lack of glycoproteins in the red blood cells. It was misread and is now called Type 'O' blood. I guess you could call it a typo…
D: I'm gonna throw something at you.
W: so next time I introduce you to someone I'm gonna go, "Say hello to MY LITTLE FRIEND' and then reach in my pocket like I'm gonna pull out a knife or gun or something and then you waltz on up like 'sup' and I'll be like 'so this is my friend Dick'
D: I'm Dick Grayson and I approve this message
D: A demon and an angel walk into a bar
D: it's not a joke, its just an episode of Supernatural
(Sent in by Reina Grayson)
W: I'm so dead
D: ...what did you do to her THIS time?
W: my plush pokeball hit her as I was playing around and I instantly shouted 'Purugly, I choose you'
D it was nice knowing you...what's your favorite flower again?
(Special appearance from Barbara)
Babs: I just shaved my legs and now they feel like dolphins
D: I've always wanted to swim with dolphins
D: ;)
Weeeeeell I hope you guys got a kick out of that last text *WINK* Lol
Ceeeeeeelebrate 40 chapters come on! Let's celebrate XD And over 1000 reviews! *faints*
Aha! We've made it to the Crazy inflatable raft!
Guys! *gasp* quick, pull me up *gasp* I can't feel my limbs geez I'm out of shape *coughs up seawater* ... ew
All right, everyone up, come on now! *throws out swimming innertubes* - I've tied rope to these, so just grab onto one and we'll pull you on board!
Okay, where's the cheeto- CRAP HOLY CRAP PIRAHNAS ARE EVERYONE SOMEONE GET THEM UNDER CONTROL OH MY GOSH THE MASCOTS ARE FLIPPIN INSANE