W: last night I dreamed that scientists used a really bad picture of me to prove humans are closely related to goats and i was so insulted I woke up
D: I. CANT. BREATHE.
W: what time does the 7 o'clock bus leave
D: seriously.
D: I forgot the word 'reindeer' today so I described them as 'Christmas llamas'
D: I can honestly say that I've never seen such an expression on Bruce's face before
W: OKAY PLAN C TANKED
D: roses are red, windows are glass, maybe you should try plan D for 'dumbass'
W: I DO NOT NEED THIS RIGHT NOW
D: The bible said 'Adam and Eve' not 'throw Adam in hell and leave'
W: …who?
D: THATS NOT FUNNY
W: I am in physical pain
D: what happened
W: a girl in biology just asked if the sun had bones
D: if it makes you feel better, one time this one guy asked the teacher if fish was a dairy product
W: it doesnt.
W: Roy and I are at the drive thru at McDonalds, what do you want you creature
D: McFlurry. Oreo.
W: okay hater see you when we get back
W: roses are red, violets are blue, WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT TO GO BACK TO JAKKU
D: lol poor Finn
W: a squirrel is staring at me through the patio door.
W: I think he's part of a gang
D: he's curious
W: I'M curious. he's maniacal.
W: His cheeks are stuffed with rage
D: Nuts
W: YOU'RE nuts.
W: you have issues.
W: I don't know what your specific problem is but I bet it's hard to pronounce
D: remember that one time in supernatural when sam was kidnapped by a ghost and forced to have a birthday party with him
W: and then gay love pierced through the veil of death and saved the day
D: I just got kicked out of class for laughing because of you
W: you started it
D: 'unfollowers' backwards is 'srewollofnu' which sounds like 'screw all of you'
D: coincidence I THINK NOT
W: the reason we have little cuts and bruises we don't remember getting is cause at night bats fly into everyones room and beat them up in their sleep
D: oh sure, blame the bats. What the heck? We're easy targets
W: was that a disney reference
D: ANASTASIA, is NOT disney, you uncultured swine!
W: but how do cops on bikes arrest people?
D: "alright, now get in the basket."
D: my sleeves are too long for my little handsies
W: why are these are the kind of texts I wake up to.
W: don't eat the cookies yet they just came out of the oven and are too hot
D: fire cannot kill a dragon
W: we have to both live long enough to be able to race each other in wheelchairs and duel with canes
D: I will if you will
W: deal
W: lets take a minute to be thankful that bugs aren't the same size as us
D: you just had a bug fly into your mouth didn't you
W: what
W: whats going on
W: wait what
D: hate it when waiters ask, 'are you done with that' when the plate is clear
D: It's like nah, imma eat the plate too
D: why did you leave me a three minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth
D: stop it
W: so since we're bros and we go grocery shopping together,
W: does that make it Brocery shopping?
D: works for me
W: I MACED MY OWN FACE
D: by far best text I've ever woken up to
D: Thug life?
D: more like drop the 'T' and get over here
D: I'm like 4 days past my bedtime
W: are you ok
D: Shall I compare thee to a summer day?
D: Cause thou hast NO CLASS
W: you are insufferable.
D: I hate to say 'I told you so'
D: So I'm going to sing it instead
D: *ahem*
W: why don't you just gain a little weight
W: heavy people are harder to kidnap
W: wait
W: so stress balls aren't for throwing at people who stress you out?
D: who's that sexy beast?
D: Oh I accidentally turned the front facing camera on whoops
W: it's strange how after tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF
D: wtf
D: a recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it
W: ahahahahaha
W: don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das not good
D: thanks buddy
D: why do teacher have such an intense hatred for wikipedia
W: because it does their job better than them
W: my history teacher used to mess with wikipedia when he gave us assignments
W: half my class had essays about how hitler was secretly in a relationship with Stalin
D: STOP I CANT STOP LAUGHING
D: there's a theory that no two people see a color the exact same way
W: does that mean a color is like
W: a pigment of your imagination
D: GET OUT
W: so you're a 10?
W: oh the PH scale maybe, cause you basic
W: we've both gotten the other is so much trouble over the years I've forgotten which one of us is the bad influence
D: don't worry, it's definitely still you
D: In an emergency a crayon will burn for 30 minutes
W: how long will it burn if it isn't an emergency?
W: what does the crayon define as an emergency
D: Poe, a pilot, a Resistance Pilot
D: Rey, a drop of golden sun
D: Finn, a name he calls himself
D: Han, WAS KILLED BY HIS OWN SON
W: TOO SOON
D: I think it's safe to assume that whoever put the cat in the bag,
D: Is not going to have a good time letting it out.
W: I threw a bag at my grandmother's cat once.
W: no you couldn't
D: I do it because I can, I can because I want to, I want to because you said I couldn't
D: so if you work as security at Samsung store, does that make you guardian of the galaxy?
W: If Cinderella's shoe fit perfectly why did it fall off?
D: How come our nose runs but our feet smell
W: One time in fourth grade we had a field trip and the class was standing on a hill and the teacher said 'okay lets rock and roll'
W: so me and like half of the class started rolling down the hill while others started throwing rocks and everyone got detention cause we were all little sh*ts
D: I love the word particular
D: it's so fun to say
D: there are so many ways to articulate it
W: I put a circle of bananas around my grandmother's cat while it was asleep
W: the it woke up and the damn thing went bat-sh*t crazy
W: totally destroyed the living room
W: im grounded.
D: anything you can screw up I can screw up bigger,
D: I can screw up anything bigger than you
W: no you can't
D: yes I can
W: no you can't
D: yes I can
W: NO YOU CAN'T
D: YES I CAN YES I CAN
D: I JUST ASKED ROY AND HE SAID I CAN
This was a particularly long chapter, because I'm going to be taking a small break from this fic for a while to work on other stories.
NOTE - You know the last text from Barbara, in the previous chapter? It was a reference to my other story called Don't Answer It, where Roy had actually taken Dick's phone and replied to her text; just wanted to clear that up, for those who hadn't read the other story :) So in fact, it had actually been Babs and Roy texting each other, although she hadn't known that, haha. Technically that was Roy's guest appearance for that chapter...
Requests will appear in the next chapter! I'm seeing all your guys' personal messages and reviews, and will be using a lot of the requests :)
I'm just gonna leave the piranhas to you guys till I get back *cackles*, try and have them rounded up by the time I return with the next chapter! Remember, NO FATALITIES...er, no MORE fatalities I mean...(sorry again about that HunterofHorcruxes, lol)
SHoutout to OptimisticEmotion ! Ahaha you got the reference XD Poor Babs!
Booyah everyone!