Idunn's Apple Pie
A Marvel 616 fic by Andrew Joshua Talon
DISCLAIMER: Ain't mine.
This written by scriviner...
"Now on the one hand, you have been most generous to allow us to live in your building, Tony-"
"I live to serve." Tony replied grandly, spreading his arms wide as though seeking to encompass the entirety of the over-sized living room.
"But even I, the very Queen of Hel itself, feel that you may be a touch over-generous to us."
"Oh, come on. It's not that much."
She favored him with a brilliant smile that only vaguely touched her eyes and gave her an expression that spoke eloquently of a woman of importance who is graciously indulging a half-wit, "I say this as someone who has been hosted by gods and monarchs, Tony. I think you can calm down and maybe let Steve and I have a little bit of... space... with regards to our intended living arrangements."
"The house repairs were too much?"
"I caught on to the plans that would allow the house to transform into a giant robot with a shield."
"Oooookay, I can scale that down a bit."
"And honestly, I appreciate your generosity, but you know Steve. He'd be uncomfortable with an excess of largess."
"So... what I'm hearing here is don't tell Steve that I want to pack your guys house with all the best toys?"
Hela reached up a hand to pinch at the bridge of her nose, "I feel that you are not quite listening when I am telling you 'no'."
Tony shrugged, "I usually don't."
"And I, in contrast do not wish to have to memorize a grand sequence of security codes every time I wish to host the PTA's weekly get together. Or when I have the Girl Scrouts over for their merit badge training sessions."
"... you have Girl Scouts over?"
She smiled proudly, every inch a queen. "I'm a troop leader."
"Huh. Okay, maybe I can just kind of go with something a bit more low-key, I guess."
"Please. I would consider it a personal favor if you were to show some restraint."
"I'm not entirely ruling out the giant robot form though."
She sighed. "If you must."
Just a bit more fun.
Omake: The Executioner's New Role:
"My Queen! I pledge to purchase a pallet of Tagalongs!"
Hela sighed, her boundless patience the only thing letting her keep from lashing out at her minion.
"Executioner, while your enthusiasm is appreciated, alarming my girls is not."
"Apologies," He muttered in a much lower tone, "It is simply that I must have more."
Hela smiled indulgently and nodded. "Alright, girls. Don't worry too much about the large scary man with the axe. You all remember your training."
As one, the girls in uniform around the table called back, "Yes, Mrs. Rogers. Stay out of his reach, wait til he over-commits, then go for the kidneys!"
"Such good girls."