D: how are the puncture wounds
W: fine.
D: sorry
D: didn't mean to stab you with a fork
D: but in all fairness you fell into it
D: ran into it
D: Roy was involved I'm tempted to blame him
D: the only redeeming factor for the U.S. in the seventies was Star wars.
W: what do you have against the 70's
D: I'm up next
W: rioting for you
W: I meant rooting
D: I like rioting better
D: rioting in my name is way better than rooting for my name
D: what is the meaning of life
W: nachos
W: whistle while you work
W: hitler is a jerk
D: what
W: i don't even know
W: you're annoying
D: I'm annoying but cute
W: your cuteness is annoying
D: it's funny how NO SH*T means like 'NO KIDDING MORON'
D: but SH*T NO means like ' I JUST DROPPED MY WARM BUTTERY CROISSANT'
D: since bat wings are just skin stretched between elongated finger bones, bats fly through the power of jazz hands
W: at last I know Batman's secret
D: alright bye
W: *sends picture of Storm Trooper*
D: why did you send that
W: to let you know that I'm gonna miss you
D: bro.
D: I just flagged a 10 hour Rick Roll youtube video for nudity so the youtube staff will have to watch the full thing to see where the nudity is
W: I raise you a 12 hour gangman style video I just flagged for nudity
D: I will meet you with a flagged 12 hour long miley cyrus Party in the U.S.A video
W: they are going to find us and kill us
W: whats the raddest aircraft
W: the HELLAcopter
D: Dude.
W: if I was trapped inside a room filled with explosives and the only way to get out was to eat a whole tomato I would die
D: how the hell would you even get in that situation
W: I hate one direction fans so much, I need my whole room to cool down but no this damn thing only blows one way
D: I had to read that 3 times
W: what did vincent say when he lost his car in the parking lot
W: "where did my van gogh"
D: the correct pronunciation of 'gogh is 'goff'
W: f*ck gogh
W: me dad's a muggle
W: mam's a witch
D: bitofanastyshockforhimwhenhefoundout
W: help me figure this out
D: No.
D: i don't think they're right handed or left handed. They're just dogs.
W: I HAVE AN EMERGENCY LIKE RIGHT NOW HURRY OR I WILL DIE
D: WANTING MCDONALDS IS NOT A MEDICAL EMERGENCY
D: the word nun is just the letter n doing a cartwheel
W: how did this even occur to you
W: I love your thing with spiders
W: I mean its like you turn into a mob boss when you see one
W: "I want him dead. I want his family dead. I want his house burnt to the ground."
D: just walked in on a bunch of people doing cocaine in the hotel lobby bathroom.
D: I sprayed them with a fire extinguisher.
W: for someone who is 70% water you don't look very refreshing
W: BURNNN
D: water cannot be burned
W: EVAPORATEEEE
D: RIP, boiled water
D: you will be mist
D: I DONT UNDERSTAND
W: maybe swearing will help
D: AINT NO PARTY LIKE AN INTROVERT PARTY CAUSE AN introvert party don't start
W: can I come
D: no
D: JUST A SMALL TOWN GIRL
W: WILDCATS
D: THERE"LL BE PEACE WHEN YOU ARE DONE
W: TO SEE A MARCHING BAND
D: CAUSE IM MR BRIGHTSIDE
W: POKEMON!
W: I'm on the bus and this baby keeps turning around to hold my finger
W: If I move it away he starts screaming. Pretty sure we're bff now.
D: but I thought WE were forever
W: nah man this little guy is way cuter
D: tutant meenage neetle teetles
D: you can't say it without laughing
W: I can't read it without laughing
D: so my appointment is in 5 min
W: just use feeling words
D: yay.
D: did you eat 9 cans of ravioli last night?
W: come on man no one wants to admit that
W: I'm eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich
D: I know. I'm watching you. I'd hiding in your bushes outside
W: DUDE I actually see you! WTF are you doing in the bushes?!
D: you're kidding right? I'm not really in your bushes…
W: oh holy crap then some creep is out there stalking my house
D: lol don't worry I really am in your bushes
*hides under table as everyone shouts at me for being gone so long*