W: how long does an owl live?

D: six and a half books

W: YOU ARE GROUNDED

D: lets go to weight watchers and eat in front of them

W: I cant right now how about tomorrow

D: fine

D: so how is rome

W: I want a grilled cheese and an IV

W: whats the plan

D: it will take finesse and focus, none of which you have.

D: if you step on a persons foot they open their mouths, just like trash cans

W: I am so mad for laughing at this

W: I just realized that ironing boards are surf boards that quit following their dreams and have an actual job.

W: never be an ironing board dude

W: mermaids or unicorns

D: mermaids

W: mom and dad went out. Im bored.

D: do something fun then. blow up the house or whatever.

W: should probably avoid that.

W: well cant you come over

D: I thought we were trying to avoid that outcome

D: blood and glitter go together right?

W: depends on what time it is

D: between 2 and 5 am?

W: ya it works

D: why was I handcuffed to the roof?

W: it was easier than trying to explain why you couldn't fly

D: you texted me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese

D: congrats. you made toast.

W: imagine shooting santa claus out of the sky

W: its funny cause all I can hear him shouting is "Ho HO HOLY SH*t!"

D: airplanes have now banned tweezers

D: personally I think anyone who can hijack a plane with tweezers deserves the plane

W: lets get naked

D: no lets save that for when we are selling real estate

R: wtf guys

R: I'm telling Dinah

D: its from SPONGEBOB CHILL ROY

R: you're not coming over unless you bring new plates, expensive ones.

W: we don't HAVE to use plates you know

W: I didn't even do it, it was Dick!

D: in all honesty Roy part of this is your fault. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong

R: just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie

R: it hasn't moved in 20 minutes

W: …

D: where do I even begin

R: why don't murderers just hide the bodies in cemeteries

W: thanks for the tip

D: this is not a tip this is a joke

D: great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow

B: How about you call me now Dick.

D: oh….hi…

D: sorry bruce that wasn't meant for you

B: Call me.

my keyboard went bad I'm typing the authors note by using the mouse to click one letter at a time on the screen wow this sucks i gotta go get another one so noodles hugs and high fives everyone this note took five minutes to write wow