W: thanks for coming to the family reunion with me
D: no problem man
D: Obama means Gmail
D: thats supposed to say OHANA means FAMILY dammit autocorrect
W: my arms are so sore
W: what are you doing
D: baby chain
*ten minutes later*
D: okay I meant to type 'nothing' but I saw a string of kindergarteners on the street holding onto a rope to stay together as I typed, but right now I'm more concerned with the fact that you didn't feel the need to ask for clarification
D: what if the g in gif is silent
W: time to say goodnight dude.
D: what gif I don't want to
W: good night.
W: when are you free
D: well I'm forever imprisoned in my own personal psychological hell so I am never truly "free" but I don't have any plans monday
W: monday works
W: if people are really going to assume that guys with long hair are gay and girls with short hair are lesbians then I am going to assume that all bald men are actually eagles
D: I knew it. Something about Lex Luthor just wasn't adding up.
D: dog goes woof
D: cat goes meow
D: I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust
D: cow goes moo
D: the chemicals
W: ThIS IS MESSING WITH MY BRAIN
W: overheard a woman telling another "its 150$ and she supplies all the turtles" and whatever it is, I'm in
D: hang on me too
W: I dunno I just have this Lion King scenario in my head where Bruce is showing you Gotham and says 'Everything the shadows touch will one day be yours" and you're like "What about that sunny patch over there" and Bruce is like "Thats Metropolis, only losers live there"
D: If memory serves, that is exactly what happened
W: omg
D: whoops
D: apparently "spite" is an inappropriate answer to "what motivates you?"
W: but it's been a week since I've seen you
W: a week dude
W: I need to see my little ray of satanic sunshine
W: money is so stupid and unnecessary we're meat creatures on a rock floating in space and our entire lives are dominated by little bits of paper
D: I'm pretty sure the reason why is because we live on a rock and paper beats rock
W: duuuuuude
W: sometimes I walk past a graveyard and I think "I could dress up like a ghost and haunt the sh*t out of that cemetery for like, weeks, before anybody noticed and stopped me"
W: And then I realize that I would be headed down a road that leads to scooby doo villainy
D: do it anyway
D: at the very least, do it for the vine
W: no what I'm trying to say is
W: you know that moment in concerts when the artist walks onto the stage
W: thats how I feel when you walk into the room
D: bro…
W: hey you wanna come over
D: what are we gonna do
W: it involves pillows, covers, and yelling
D: we building a fort?
W: damn right we're building a fort
W: it hurts to peel the glue off my skin and I keep finding glitter in my hair
D: I just wanted to decorate you…
W: well
W: that was an excessively violent trivia night
D: why did I wake up wearing a leash?
W: it was for your own safety
W: You were doing backflips off the street lamps
D: I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes that it was a bad idea
D: So I've spent the last 20 minutes trying to cut my steak with a butter knife
D: its not working
D: Roy is now cutting up my steak
D: I feel every bit of 5 years old
D: so I'm gonna pout like it
D: so we successfully lit the bathtub on fire
W: thought you should know
R: kay
R: wait which bathtub
R: WHO'S BATHTUB
R: WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU
So I'm cheating and wrote another chapter of this instead of working on my other stories...ahhhh don't be mad,you're happy to see me right? *nervous shuffling*
*Reads reviews*
*Sees 'The East Wind is coming'*
I HAVE BEEN THREATENED