W: are we gonna bang tonight?
W: I meant hang. Duck auto correct
W: God donut
W: how the duck do I turn this off?
D: Its painful watching you struggle man.
D: whenever you're feeling sudden calm its because I took your voodoo doll out for a picnic on a grassy hill
W: thank you
D: evil olive spelled backwards still spells evil olive
W: and why is this so important at 5am
W: YOU MATTER
W: unless you multiply yourself by the speed of light…
W: then you energy.
D: just so you know, don't ever try to climb a tree at night while carrying a strobe light. owls don't LIKE it
W: lol wtf happened man
D: I made a very BAD MISTAKE
D: what do you call a dictionary on drugs
W: if you say addictionary I will cut you
D: I was gonna say high definition but yours is better
D: roses are red
D: violets are blue
D: Its valentines day
D; and rhyming is hard
W: Daisies are white
W: and violets are purple
W: my love for you is unstoppaburple
W: I've never cried over a light fixture before
D: and you better not start now
D: the smell of Home Depot is cathartic
D: faeries live int he lights and chandelier section, gnomes live in the outdoor gardening department
W: stop romanticizing Home Depot
D: pixies live in the paint aisle. F you
D: omg today when I woke up I was so confused that I couldn't remember my first language and I panicked and literally screamed "but I don't know how to speak Norwegian!" in french.
W: I did not know this could happen XD
D: while no one was looking I put a rock in a spotlight at a contemporary art exhibit
D: I started looking at it and within 2 minutes people were around it taking photos
D: so I was in the hospital?
W: ya you kept yelling 'LOOK AT MY LITTLE FEET' at the nurses until I brought you some chicken nuggets which distracted you
D: today roy and I found a lost King charles cocker spaniel, whose collar said 'donkey' and he's currently at roy's place until we find his owner
D: we found out after the first couple hours that he doesn't respond to his name unless you say it like shrek, so idk what kind of human he belongs to
W: you know what really turns me on? writing an essay without changing the default size 11 Calibri font with no line spacing, and then changing it to size 12 Times New Roman with double spacing and seeing it grow from 3 to 5 pages.
W: Yeah. that really gets me going.
D: ... talk dirty to me
D: omg
D: got ham
D: gotham
D: holt sh*t I live in a city called 'got ham'
W: go to bed
W: what if cinderella was a baking slave instead of a cleaning slave and her name was mozzarella
D: dont talk to me.
R: why do witches like always want to fatten up kids before eating them? fat is like the nastiest part of meat
D: Because they're always cooking said kids in cauldrons and ovens - aka long cooking times at a lowish heat. If you do that to fatty meat, the fat completely melts and the meat gets -tear-it-apart-with-a-fork soft. If you do it to lean meat, you get tiny little sad meat bits that bring no joy to anyone.
R: …
W: well you did ask, roy.
D: plus theres wisdom in fattening them up on sweets and other carbs. A meatless, carb rich diet makes for more tender and flavorful meat.
W: why are we casually discussing the semantics of EATING CHILDREN
D: Titanic be like, "I NOMINATE ALL PASSENGERS FOR THE ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE"
R: PEOPLE DIED
W: 102 YEARS AGO, THEYRE ALL SKELETONS FIGHTING IN THE UNDERWATER SKELETON WAR NOW
D: CHILL
R: I'm sure they're very chill by now.
W: you might even say theyre…ice cold.
D: ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT
R: this conversation is a train wreck
D: are you sure its not a …SHIP WRECK
R: I will kill all of you.
W: titanic already took care of that
Honestly, the most recent review by Extra Graphite is what geared me to get this chapter out. Its been too long since I've updated. Thank you, sometimes I need a little reminder, 'the moment is now' type of thing, and tonight I had a moment.
So tired as I am, I put on a sweater and my star wars pajama pants, got out my outdated computer and broken keyboard, sat down in a leather chair, and just wrote, with the artificial light from my computer screen my only luminance. And I'm happier for it, cause this story makes you guys happy.
I don't know when the next update will be, but keep your head up, everyone, I'll do the same -
See you in the next story ;)