D: there was another complication with the plan
W: by another complication he means another explosion
W: idk man, it sorta just happened
D: You're like a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
D: when i woke up this morning, my first thought was 'no one visits my grave anymore' and i was really sad for a few minutes so I lay on my bed with my eyes shut and then all of a sudden i opened my eyes and was like 'wait i don't have a grave what the hell'
W: are you okay
D: am I ever
D: never say anything to a penguin that the penguin has not already said to you
W: k
W: go on
D: In Australia I was walking along the side of a harbor one evening, just after all the penguins had come in from the ocean to nest. there was one penguin right by the footpath, and when it saw me it kept saying 'höö'.
D: so i said 'höö' right back. it seemed to like that, and we had a lovely conversation where we just kept saying 'höö' to each other.
D: I crouched down about 4 feet away from it, and we kept talking, and it actually moved towards me a little bit, seeming to prefer my company to the heartless embrace of the sea.
D: but then i made the mistake of trying to change things up. i said 'hweh', which was something that a previous penguin said to me, and this penguin hated it, and effed right off. never said another word to me. i felt so rude.
W: CALM DOWN
D: IN THE HISTORY OF CALMING DOWN THERE IS NO ONE WHO EVER CALMED DOWN BY BEING TOLD TO CALM DOWN
W: Hello.
W: Its me.
W: I was wondering if you would like to take me out to eat
W: Hello
W: Can you feed me
D: I HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS RING-A-LING JING JING JINGLING
W: HALLOWEEN WAS NINE MINUTES AGO
W: idea for new olympic sport
W: contestants must sit on their legs until they fall asleep and then run down a flight of stairs
D: when I was 12 I got banned from yahoo answers and when I emailed support to be like 'what did I do?' I got a really vague answer that just said 'you know what you did' and it still haunts me to this day
W: 'when I was 12'
W: that was literally last year
W: when I was 10 I was in an AOL chatroom for kids and we are all making this Homer Simpson face (8^(l) but this one girl Crystal forgot to put the nose in the face so I said "you forgot the nose crystal" and I immediately got booted offline and no one in my family could log on. My mom talked to someone from AOL and they said I was trying to sell drugs to minors because I said 'nose crystal'
W: dont send me any negative stuff today
D: electrons
W: I should kick your ass
D: so apparently I just picked up an 8000$ organ off the curb
W: the few seconds before I realized you meant the instrument were terrifying
D: plane is taking off
W: be safe
D: how?
D: all I an do is sit on the plane
D: and accept what ever happens
W: your negative thoughts play a role
D: Okay then I guess this is goodbye forever
D: I just found out that the building we are staked out at is close enough to a bar to screw with their Touch Tunes
D: guess who just played Barbie Girl three times in a row?
W: how do you spell candy with only 2 letters?
W: c and y
D: I need someone to give me a pep talk
W: you can do it maybe
D: inspirational
D: Hey look at that guy.
R: Wow what an idiot.
*Sees that it's Wally*
D: …that's our idiot.
D: count me out
W: me too
R: we will work hard, we will work well, and we will work together, or so help me, I will stick a pitchfork so far up your asses you will quite simply be dead
ITS BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS !
Oh golly. Thanks for sticking around everyone, I'm about as rare as the sunshine during a Seattle winter. My updates, I mean.
Being an adult sucks, you never have any time.
See you all in the next update, in the meantime get your jingle bell rock on cause I am SO ready for Christmas :)
Disclaimer - Got most of these from Pinterest and Tumblr