A/N: This chapter is dedicated to my dear cheese-loving Space Sisters. I know some of them don't read this story, but I had all of them in mind when I wrote this chapter's end.
On the more serious side of things, this chapter deals further with Sharon's emotional journey and examines her complex relationship with her father, as well as her son.
As always, I thank blossom-of-snow for her excellent editing and insight.
Rainie's safe return from Geekdom restored Sharon's peace of mind. Ricky's decision to come to visit instead of flying back to San Francisco was a pleasant surprise. While she missed Emily, Sharon didn't let her daughter's absence spoil her mood. Her two youngest children returned from Canada, bursting with stories to share with Sharon and Andy. Watching their relationship develop from a place of mistrust to a beautiful friendship warmed Sharon's heart. They were so much alike, had a similar sense of humor, and a similar way of expressing themselves – and the fact that they weren't related by blood did not matter at all.
As it had been a while since Sharon and Ricky spent time alone, she was not surprised when he decided to take her out for breakfast on his second morning at home. Just like he did every time he came home from college, Ricky took her to their favorite downtown café.
"It's so nice being in a warm place again," Ricky said. "I feel like I'm finally thawing."
Sharon smirked, knowing that her son has always been a warm-weather boy. After they placed their orders, Sharon appraised Ricky. He'd cut his hair again since the last time she saw him, and at least this time, he found a barber.
"Mom, I wanted to ask you something," he said, and his brow wrinkled in a way that had always seemed too mature for her little boy.
Their waiter approached the table with the coffee they ordered, giving both Ricky and Sharon a moment to prepare for whatever was coming.
"What's bothering you?" Sharon asked as she poured half a packet of brown sugar into her cappuccino and stirred.
"Nothing's bothering me. It's more like a question," Ricky said.
Sharon hummed and brought the cup to her mouth, taking a tentative sip.
Ricky's eyes lingered on his mother's split lip. "Do you wanna tell me what that's about?"
"What do you mean?" Sharon asked.
Ricky hesitated, then sighed. "Mom, how did you split your lip?"
Eyes widening, Sharon set down her coffee. "Honey, this is not what you think it is. Andy didn't do that. He would never – could never."
"So, how did it happen?"
"I fell off my bed," Sharon replied.
Arching his eyebrows, Ricky crossed his arms over his chest. "You know, I expected a better excuse from a cop."
"I know it sounds implausible, but it's the truth," Sharon said.
"Come on, Mom. In a few months, I'm supposed to give you away to a man who may be abusing you. Even Rainie isn't convinced it's the right thing to do anymore."
Sharon swallowed the bitter retort that pushed against her pursed lips. "First of all, you are giving me away at the wedding because I want a traditional ceremony and because I want my children to be a part of it, not because you are in any way responsible for me or my choices," Sharon said. "Secondly, Andy hasn't laid a finger on me. I had a nightmare, during which I experienced sleep paralysis. When I woke, my body released all the pent up energy; I sprung out of bed and busted my lip on my dresser."
"You promise that you're honest with me?"
"Yes, honey. I promise you – this is not Andy's fault." For good measure, she reached across the table to touch his arm.
The tension in Ricky's shoulders evaporated as he uncrossed his arms and leaned forward on the table. "So, what was that nightmare about?"
Sharon sighed. Even though her relationship with her father was tainted by his alcoholism, she never let her children think Connor O'Dwyer was anything less than a saint. Being an only child, who loved her family, dysfunctional as it may have been, she wanted her children to feel like they could depend on their grandparents. Now that her children were grown and all four grandparents had passed away, she wondered if it was time for them to know the truth.
"I dreamt about my father," Sharon said.
"Grandpa Connor?" Ricky arched his eyebrow in surprise. "Mom, we all miss him." He reached for her hand and squeezed it.
Sharon took a deep breath. "No, it—it wasn't that." Tears welled in Sharon's eyes, and she looked down and tried to blink them away. "He's—he's the reason I had a nightmare."
"What do you mean? He was an awesome grandpa," Ricky said.
"He was a terrible father," Sharon said in a choked voice.
"Dad is a terrible father. Grandpa Connor was there for us when dad left, remember?"
"He was," Sharon admitted. "But he was not always so loving, compassionate, and kind." The pained expression on Ricky's face told Sharon that she shouldn't have said anything, but now that she'd opened this can of worms, she couldn't leave him wondering what exactly she meant. "My father was an abusive alcoholic."
Ricky grimaced and ran his fingers through his messy hair. "Why are you just telling me this now? He can't defend himself."
"I would hope that my word would be evidence enough," Sharon argued, suddenly feeling short of breath.
Ricky's hands migrated to his face, so Sharon couldn't see his eyes. "No, you're right. I'm sorry. It's just that Grandpa was the only father figure I had in my life growing up."
Nearly choking on her guilt, her anxiety about not being enough for her children, Sharon nodded slowly. "I understand that. I'm sorry that I couldn't be everything for you." Sharon's bottom lip trembled. Did her son not know that she did her best to fill the void Jack left in her children's hearts? Did he not understand that having her alcoholic father help out was not necessarily better than having an absentee father?
"Of course, you were enough, Mom." He sounded contrite, but he didn't reach for her hand like he usually did when he wanted her to feel better. "But I guess now I'm wondering what possessed you to let him be so involved in our lives if he abused you."
"I monitored his sobriety carefully. When his drinking began to affect his health, he was required to abstain from alcohol. He was sober, and I needed help."
"Help from someone who could hurt us?" For the first time since this conversation teetered on the edge of hostility, Ricky's anger bled through.
Barely able to control her emotions, Sharon pushed her chair back and got up. "If you want to blame me for not knowing what to do or who to turn to when my life was uprooted, fine. If I'm such a terrible mother, you shouldn't have to be put through so much time with me. I'm sure you can pay for this breakfast yourself."
As she walked out of the restaurant, Sharon wished that she could feel empowered by her dramatic exit, but instead, she felt vulnerable and invalidated. Her phone shrilled as soon as she slammed her car door shut, and she saw Andy's name on the screen. Without much thought, she took the call.
"Hey, babe," Andy said.
"Andy," Sharon's voice shook.
"What's wrong?"
Unable to hold back any longer, Sharon burst into tears.
"Babe, where are you? I'll come and pick you up."
"I'm sorry, I–I can't…" Sharon wasn't even sure what she wanted to say. She took a deep breath and wiped her tears. "I'm in my car."
"Are you good to drive?"
Sharon hummed affirmatively and rifled through the glove box for a tissue.
"I'm gonna send you an address. I'll meet you there, okay?" Andy asked.
"Okay," Sharon said. Her phone dinged with a text from Andy, and she fed the address into Waze.
"Whatever it is, babe, it's going to be fine, okay?"
"I know." Sharon sniffled.
"Do you want me to stay on the line until we both get there?" Andy asked.
She wished she had this support when her children needed to be both safe and loved. "No, I'll be fine," Sharon said. "I'll meet you there."
Half an hour later, Sharon parked her car in front of 'La Fromagerie'. Andy was already waiting for her outside, and Sharon walked into his arms.
"What happened?" he asked as he kissed her head.
Sharon briefly explained her argument with Ricky, and Andy's hold on her tightened as he listened.
"Ricky may be older, but inside he's a child who has nothing but good memories of his grandfather. Was his reaction fair to you? Of course not. But what you told him taints what he sees as the best part of his childhood," Andy said softly. "He needs someone to blame, and since your dad is dead, it falls on you."
Sharon hummed softly, not wanting to step outside of Andy's protective arms.
"This is probably a battle you won't win, and I'm not sure that telling your children the truth about their grandfather will help you or them."
"So I'm supposed to live with my memories and stay silent about them?" Sharon asked.
Andy eased the tension in her shoulders with his roaming hands. "No, you can work through them with a qualified therapist who can help you overcome your unprocessed trauma."
"Andy." Sharon drew out the last syllable of his name to signal that she didn't want the conversation to go there.
"No pressure, okay? But I think it's the best thing for you."
"I'll think about it, but I can't decide anything right now."
"That's okay. We'll work through it together."
After one more squeeze, Sharon stepped back. "What are we doing here?"
Andy wrapped his hand around hers. "There's nothing you can't fix with cheese fondue."
"Except for lactose intolerance," Sharon teased.
Andy chuckled and pressed a kiss to Sharon's lips.
"Shall we?" he asked as he motioned towards the restaurant.
"Sure," Sharon replied, and they walked in. Later, she would have to deal with her fallout with Ricky in the hope that this time it won't end as explosively as it did earlier that morning. But for the time being, she was going to eat her weight in cheese.
-TBC-