I didn't anticipate updating today but...it was raining like crazy and I was stuck at home. So...I decided to write. I really like this chapter too. I hope you do as well!
I am so grateful for all the positive feedback on this! This chapter will focus more on Elliot and Olivia...and their relationship with some other very important people. It will be important to understand how they got to where they are now.I
In the next chapter we will dive more into what is happening with the case. I hope you continue to enjoy.
Now...read on! :)
The next day was supposed to be a scheduled day with Eli. Richie and Lizzie were both busy with school activities and couldn't come. Elliot had planned on calling Kathy and asking if she could keep Eli again. It wasn't that he didn't want to see his son, he just felt that Olivia needed some space.
However, she was instant on having the 5 year old for their scheduled visit. It still amazed him how good she was with his children. It wasn't really that he doubted her ability as a Step-Mom, but her devotion to them was unlike anything he had seen. Especially considering that the conception of Eli had almost torn them apart.
Just prior to Olivia coming back from Oregon, Elliot had encountered a very difficult case. Afterwards he was left incredibly shaken. If Olivia had been home, there was no doubt in his mind that he would have gone to her. Instead, he had gone to his soon to be ex-wife's house to see the children.
Their relationship had been over for a very long time. It had been almost a year and a half since they had been intimate and the divorce was just waiting to be finalized. However, during that time, he was beyond broken. Between losing Olivia, being separated from his children and the strain of this particular case he had broken.
Kathy knew him and they had made a mistake. He would never consider his son a mistake and was more than grateful for his existence. But that night almost cost him everything he had worked to build with Olivia. They had only been together for two months when he found out about Kathy being pregnant. She had cornered him when he came to drop off the twins and Kathleen after a scheduled visit.
Kathy knew of course that he was with Olivia now. And in all honesty she was okay with it. She had moved on herself and despite her old feelings of jealousy towards Olivia, she knew their relationship was right. However she knew that this news was going to be quite a difficult thing to process for all parties involved. She didn't want to ruin anything for them, but she also knew that she wasn't going to give up this child.
As Elliot stood in the kitchen cleaning up breakfast and waiting for his ex-wife and young son to arrive, he couldn't help but remember the day he told Olivia his news…
Olivia walked down the hall of her apartment ready for bed. Elliot had spent the day with his kids and told her he would meet her at his apartment after she got off work. They had officially been together for two months now and it was still a shock to her sometimes. Especially now that they had officially crossed the line from friends to lovers. He had been so patient with her and when it happened...she knew it was well worth the wait.
She reached for her keys in her bag so she could open the door, but she stopped short when she saw Elliot standing in front of her door. "El…"
He looked up at her and she could immediately tell that something was wrong, "I need to talk to you."
She stood up a little straighter and walked up to him, "Okay...I didn't expect you to be here yet." She paused and he seemed unable to take his eyes off of her, "How long have you been waiting here?"
He sighed, "About an hour."
She frowned, "You have a key...why didn't you go in?"
He opened his mouth to respond and then just shook his head unable to come up with an answer. Something was wrong. Very wrong. And all those insecurities began to creep up in her chest again. What if he dropped his kids off to Kathy today and realized he had made a mistake…
She licked her lips and tried to keep her composure, "Um...okay. Let's...let's go in."
She pushed past him to open the door and immediately felt his hand on her back. He seemed to be clinging to her jacket as if he was afraid to let her get too far away. She pushed the door open and set her keys down. He was never more than a foot away from her as she settled into the apartment.
She stood by the kitchen and looked at the fridge, "Are you hungry? I can-"
"Kathy's pregnant." He blurted out, unable to keep it in any longer.
She took a tentative step backwards and bumped into the kitchen island, "What?"
He stepped up to her immediately, "Liv I need you to know that-"
"And...you're the father?" She asked, trying to keep up with his thought process.
As far as she knew, Elliot and Kathy had been separated since well before she left for Oregon. And when she got back, it was her understanding that the papers were newly finalized. She had been adamant that she wouldn't be the other woman and he had assured her he was a free man.
"Yes." He whispered softly, "Liv, listen-"
She stepped around him, "Elliot, what the hell?" She saw him cringe out of the corner of her eye, "You said that…" Her hands were shaking, "I told you-"
"It didn't mean anything." He said shaking his head, "I know that sounds terrible and I'm sure it is impossible to believe. But Olivia...it was a moment of weakness."
She stared at him in disbelief, "A moment of weakness? Elliot...she was your wife." She put a hand to her forehead, "Oh God...Kathy's going to hate me. She must hate me."
He shook his head, "No. Olivia, please listen to me. It wasn't...we were totally separated. The paperwork was all done and being processed."
She nodded slowly, "So what...it was a goodbye fuck?"
He cringed, "No...I was upet. We had a bad case."
She glared at him, "So every time we have a bad case from now on...you're going to-"
"No!" He yelled louder than he had intended too but he needed her to understand, "No...I'm sorry I yelled but I need you to listen. Please...please just hear me out."
She took a few steadying breaths and then turned away from him to walk to the couch. He waited a moment, wondering if she was going to ask him to leave. He wouldn't have blamed her. But instead, she looked up at him and whispered, "Are you going to say something or-"
He stepped closer to her but she gave him a look that told him he was close enough, "Liv when you left...I was a mess. I tried to pretend everything was fine but I wasn't. I was on overdrive. And yes...I was upset about the divorce but it was about the kids. Not Kathy. That relationship was long over. It had been over for years. We both knew it but we tried to hold it together for the kids. Being separated from my children…" He shook his head, "You know how hard that was for me."
She did know. She had seen how much it had taken a toll on him. In those months he became unrattled and she had been beyond worried. As the months went on there had been a shift in their relationship at work leading up to the Gitano case. She knew he was broken then...and she had left.
"Yes. I do know but…" She bit her lip, "Elliot I…""The case...all the kids...they were." He shook his head and didn't even try to hide the tears in his eyes, "It was too much. It was all too much. I wanted to talk to you. But you weren't here Liv...you were gone and I had no idea where you were. I didn't even know if I would ever see you again." She didn't respond but he wasn't trying to make her feel guilty, "I went home to check on the kids. I asked Kathy if I could and she agreed...I was vulnerable. We talked. We both had something to drink and it happened...and in the morning we both knew it would never and could never happen again. The next thing I knew...you were back and I never gave that night a second thought."
She cleared her throat and looked up at him with tear filled eyes, "You were married to her for a long time Elliot. You have a history. You had a life...you have four-" She shook her head, "You're about to have five children. You have to go and find a way to make it work with her."
"No." He walked all the way over to her and knelt down in front of her, "Olivia no."
He reached for her hands but she pulled them away, it was too painful to let him touch her, "Elliot...there is no other choice. Besides...I think that maybe what we did was a mist-"
"No." He said more sternly, "Don't you dare say that." She flinched but the tears started to spill from her eyes, "We are not a mistake. I meant it when I said I choose you. We have come too far to let this end this way. I can't say that I'd take it back because this will be my child too...but I refuse to walk away from this. I need you to believe me. Please. I don't want to be with Kathy. I want to be with you."
She took a deep breath and looked up at him, "I just...I need a little space El." He started shaking his head and he tried to reach for her again, "I just...I need you to go right now. This is too much."
Elliot leaned forward and rested his head on her knees, "Please don't do this Olivia. Please...please believe me."
She slowly detached herself from her spot on the couch and walked to the door, "I really need you to go right now."
He was still kneeling on the floor and he turned slowly in his spot to look at her, "Liv…"
"Please El...please. I just need a little space." She watched him pull himself off of the floor and stumble towards her, "I'll...I'll call you tomorrow. I just...I need to process."
He knew her well enough to know that that was the truth. However, he also knew that since they got together she had been looking for a reason to run because she didn't think she was good enough. And more than anything, he knew this would be the exact reason to push her past her breaking point once and for all.
He ignored the fact that she was frozen in front of him as he reached for her. He pulled her against his chest and she didn't even try to hide the fact that she was crying, "I meant it when I said I love you. And nothing is going to change that. I will love this child...but I will never not want you. Please remember that."
He stepped back and took a deep breath, but she never looked at him. Despite not wanting to leave, he knew there was nothing he could do or say right now to get her to listen. So he stepped out into the hallway and when the door shut behind him, he said a prayer to whoever would listen that he didn't just lose her for good so soon after he finally got her.
Elliot heard the knock on the door and knew that it was his son and ex-wife. He turned off the sink, dried his hands and started to walk towards the living room. Olivia was upstairs putting new sheets on Eli's bed and making sure everything he needed was set up. And Elliot was grateful to have a moment alone with his ex-wife.
He opened the door and Eli immediately launched himself at his Father, "Daddy!"
Elliot smiled and pulled him into his arms, breathing him in and feeling grateful to have him in his life. After the last few days it felt good to hold his son. He was growing so fast and he wished time would slow down. And then he remembered that he had another child coming soon too...he had to hold onto these moments as much as he could.
Elliot squeezed him tight, "Hey buddy." He looked behind his son and saw Kathy standing on the front steps, "Hey Kathy."
She smiled nervously at him, "Hey Elliot."
They had come a long way in the last five years and Elliot was grateful that she had been as supportive as she was of his relationship with Olivia. She didn't have to be but she was. And she was more than willing to make things work for all parties involved so that the kids weren't torn apart. And now she had found her own partner. A man that Elliot liked, trusted and respected.
Eli pulled away and looked at his Father, "Where's Livvie?"
Elliot put him down and smiled, knowing how much his son loved his Step-Mom, "She is upstairs. You want to go see her?"
Eli nodded, "Yes!" He turned to his Mom and immediately hugged her legs, "I love you Mommy."
She leaned down and kissed the top of his head, "I love you baby. Be good for Dad and Olivia, okay?"
"I will." He took his bag from her and ran up the stairs towards his room and Olivia.
Elliot watched him go and then turned back to Kathy. She smiled softly at him, "How's she doing?"
He sighed and leaned against the door frame, "She's...taking it one day at a time."
Kathy shook her head, "I can't imagine what she is feeling right now. This is a lot."
Elliot nodded slowly, he looked down and then back up at her, "Kathy...it's still early but I feel like I owe it to you to tell you." She cocked her head to the side, "Olivia is pregnant."
A slow smile spread on her face and she reached a hand out to him, she squeezed his arm, "Congratulations Elliot. That's wonderful! I know how much the two of you have wanted this."
He took a deep breath and gave her a genuine smile, "Thank you. I know this is probably a little weird…"
She shook her head, "It's not. This is wonderful Elliot. I really am happy for you. Both of you." She shrugged, "It may have been hard at first...but when I think of all that Olivia has done for our kids," She smiled gently, "I couldn't have asked for a better Step-Mom. I respect Olivia more than you realize. We may be a bit of an unconventional family...but I think we've done pretty well."
"Kathy…" He whispered her name, "I don't know how to thank you for being so understanding of all of this."
She smiled, "We had many great years Elliot. And I wouldn't trade them for anything. But we're in a good place. Anything you guys need...I'm here. This is all going to be difficult for Olivia. Please let her know that I'm here."
He walked over to her and pulled her in for a hug, "You're a hell of a woman."
She laughed and hugged him back, "Glad you think so. Please remind your kids of that next time they hate me for saying no to something."
He laughed and pulled back, "I will."
"Have a good visit. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye Elliot." She said, giving him a gentle wave.
He waved back and felt grateful for the women in his life. He turned on his heel and walked back into the house and smiled when he heard laughter coming from upstairs. He couldn't help but think about how close he had been to almost losing all of this.
The next day, Elliot had holed himself up in his apartment. He loved his children and was excited to have another. But not like this...not if it meant losing Olivia again. He had called Kathy to check in and she had asked about what Olivia had said. He was honest and they discussed what would happen next. He just wished he knew what to do about Olivia. Little did he know...Kathy was going to take matters into her own hands.
Olivia had done the only thing she knew how to do to cope. She had thrown herself into a case. She was still getting used to not working alongside Elliot and now she wished she had never crossed that line with him. At least she'd still be in his life in someway.
She was so focussed on her paperwork, she didn't see Kathy walk in. But she recognized the voice immediately.
"Hi Olivia." Kathy said from the entrance.
Olivia looked up and felt her heart start pounding in her chest, "Kathy...hi."
They hadn't seen each other since she had started seeing Elliot. In fact, Olivia couldn't remember the last time she had seen her. It was well before she went to Oregon. Things had always been a bit awkward. Kathy had been his real wife and she had been the work wife. She knew that Kathy had been skeptical of their relationship...and given the circumstances...she had every right to be.
Despite her jealousy, Olivia respected this woman enough to not want to hurt her. She didn't want to be the other woman. Yes, she and Elliot had been together for the last two months but he was about to share this moment with his ex-wife and she couldn't help but wonder if she was just the rebound.
Kathy walked all the way over to her desk, "Do you think it would be okay if we talked?"
Olivia took a deep breath and stood up, "Kathy it's okay...I uh-" She cringed, "Look what happened between me and Elliot...it wasn't. It's not…" She sighed, "I think it's great that the two of you are going to have a second chance."
Kathy sighed, "Olivia...he doesn't love me. At least not anymore."
Olivia stared at her for a moment, "Kathy that's not-"
"Look...this isn't easy for me. But can we please go somewhere...a little more private to talk?" She asked softly.
Olivia looked around and wasn't surprised to see many of her co-workers watching the scene unfold in front of them. She nodded slowly and reached for her jacket and keys. They walked in silence out of the office and Olivia led her to the back steps and up to the roof. They walked to the edge and stared out at the vast city before them.
Kathy took a deep breath and turned to Olivia, "I won't pretend when I first heard about you and Elliot that I wasn't slightly...upset."
Olivia cringed, "Kathy I need you to know that nothing happened until after you were divorced. Or at least until after the papers were filed. I...would never have-"
"I know." Kathy whispered, "I know you're not that kind of woman. I may have spent a few years thinking of ways to claw your eyes out...but I do know that you're a good woman. A respectable woman and you wouldn't do that."
Olivia turned to look at her, "Kathy...you have no idea how much I respect you. I think you are the most incredible Mother and I am in awe of you. And I know that..." Her voice cracked, "You are going to do an incredible job with this new baby too."
Kathy stared at her carefully, "I am not going to give up this child. That's not even an option. Neither of us would do that. But…"
"I would never expect you too." Olivia said, shaking her head."That night…" She saw Olivia cringe but she kept going, "It wasn't about…" She sighed, "He was so broken. And it wasn't just the case...it was the kids and mostly it was you." Olivia looked down, "He loves you. He wants to be with you. And for me...I think I wanted to fix him somehow but I shouldn't have done it that way. And in some ways...I think I thought I would get some closure."
Olivia looked at her, "Kathy…"
"I won't say I regret it because I love my children and I feel lucky to be pregnant again. But I won't forgive myself if this ruins your chances together." She shrugged, "You're meant for each other Olivia. I've known that for a long time and I want you to try and make this work."
Olivia swallowed hard, "You don't want to make it work with him?"
Kathy shook her head, "Our relationship ended a long time ago Olivia. I'll always care about him. He's the father of my children and for that he will always be a major part of my life. But I don't want to be with him. That's why I filed for divorce. I'm sorry that the timing of this is so complicated...but if I know the two of you as well as I think I do…" She shrugged again, "I think you'll find your way."
Kathy turned to walk away and it took a moment for Olivia to be able to respond, "Kathy-"
Kathy stopped and turned back to her before speaking slowly and honestly. "I'm trusting you to fix him Olivia. He missed you more than he ever will admit. I saw it...I think I'd known for a long time but he's yours Olivia. He's always been yours." She smiled, "Don't let me down."
Olivia watched her walk away letting their conversation wash over her. Now she had to decide what she was going to do…
Elliot walked upstairs and towards his youngest son's bedroom. He walked in and smiled when he saw Eli and Olivia reading a book on his bed. Eli was laughing as Olivia made funny voices for all the characters and he couldn't help but fall in love with her all over again.
"I love this story." Eli said with a giggle as Olivia shut the book, "Can we read it again?"
Olivia smiled, "If you want too."
Eli turned to look at his Dad standing in the doorway, "Dad can you do the voices too?"
Elliot smiled and walked all the way into the room and sat down beside them on the bed, "Yes. But not nearly as good as Olivia."
Eli laughed, "She does do the best ones." He looked at his Father and Step-Mom. "Lizzie and Richie said you were sad Livvie…"
Olivia looked at her husband out of the corner of her eyes and tried to keep it together, "Oh Eli...I'm...I'm okay. Really."
Eli frowned and his lower lip trembled sending daggers to her heart, "Was it something I did? Did I make you mad?"
"Oh no...no, buddy. You didn't do anything." She said lifting him up and turning him so he was sitting on her lap and facing her, "You know you're my best bud."
Eli took a deep breath, "So why were you sad? I don't like when you're sad."
Elliot cleared his throat and reached a hand out to ruffle Eli's curly hair, "Eli you know how we've talked about...how sometimes there are grown up problems and there are kid problems?"
Eli looked at his Dad, "Yeah…"
Elliot nodded, "Well...this is a grown up problem. Something you don't need to worry about right now. I know that might feel frustrating...but I need you to trust me and Olivia, okay?"
Eli looked over at Olivia, "You and Dad are staying together, right? Because...I don't want to lose you."
Olivia felt the tears burning in her eyes and she leaned forward, pulling the small boy into her arms, "No Eli. I am not going anywhere. You will never lose me. I promise."
Eli pulled away and rested his forehead against hers, "That's good. I'm the only one at school who has a bonus Mommy...and I really like that. I love you Livvie."
She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his little nose, "I love you too Eli. More than you'll ever know."
Eli pulled away and looked at his Dad, "Can we read the book now?"
Elliot smiled, feeling his heart swell in his chest, "Sure. Come here bud."
Eli settled himself between his Father and Olivia and opened the book in his lap. Before they started reading, Olivia and Elliot looked at each other over the boys head and knew they were both thinking about the same thing.
After her conversation with Kathy, Olivia had told Cragen that she wasn't feeling well and asked to go home. She didn't think he actually believed her but he let her go anyway and she was incredibly grateful. She spent the next two hours roaming the city and thinking. But it seemed that everywhere she went...she was reminded of Elliot.
She couldn't pretend this still didn't bother her. Despite the amazing two months they had had, this was still all new to her. And deep down she was waiting for the other shoe to drop. She had been since the start of it all that day at the precinct. When Elliot told her that Kathy was pregnant...she had taken it as a sign that all of her fears were valid. She didn't deserve that happily ever after.
And yet...after talking to Kathy she wondered if there was still a chance. No matter how hard it would be...she loved Elliot too much to walk away. So was it possible to make this work? Without giving herself time to change her mind...Olivia took a cab to his apartment and went to the 7th floor. She didn't bother knocking, she reached for her own key and let herself in.
The apartment was quiet and there were no lights on. She wondered for a moment if he was home. But then she saw him standing in front of her. He looked exhausted. He looked sad. And most of all he looked scared. It broke her heart.
"Hey…" She whispered, he didn't move or say a word so she slipped her keys into her back pocket, "I uh...I was wondering if we could talk?"
He watched her carefully, wondering if he could read her thoughts as he often did but right in this moment she was a mystery to him, "Of course."
She nodded slowly and walked further into the room, "Kathy came to see me…"
He raised an eyebrow in surprise, "She did?"
She kept walking until she was about three feet away from him, "Yes. We...talked."
Elliot took a deep breath, "I didn't ask her to-"
"I know." She said softly, "She came on her own. And it was…" He gave her a nervous look, "It was hard. I won't pretend that it wasn't. For both of us. But...I-" She licked her lips and looked down, "This isn't easy for me to say Elliot but...I think we both know that this thing between us has been brewing for a long time. And I...hate to admit it but I was jealous of her. I still am."
Elliot sighed, "Olivia…"
She shook her head, "I know that you're divorced. And I know that we have created this…" She gestured between them, "I know you care. But I can't pretend that your relationship with Kathy doesn't terrify me Elliot. And part of me may always be afraid that you'll want to go back."
"I care about Kathy. Part of me will always love her." She tried to keep her face neutral but he knew it was hard to hear, "She is the mother of my children and yes we do share a past. But she doesn't know me the way you do. I never once felt connected to her the way I am connected to you. I am sorry that I hurt you...but Kathy and I are committed to keeping this baby. You know I could never-""I know. And I love that you are such a committed Father. But I won't pretend this isn't hard. I mean we just…" She sighed, "You know how hard it was for me to let you in. But if you're sure that you don't want-""I don't." He said quickly, "Olivia I don't want to be with her. I'm committed to raising our kids. The four we currently have and this new child...but I'm also committed to making this work with you. Please believe that."
She took a deep breath and finally looked direct into his eyes letting him know she was serious, "I do believe that."
Elliot was quiet for a moment and waited, "So does that mean…"
She reached a hand out to him and squeezed his arm, "If you're still in...then so am I."
The words barely left her mouth before he pulled her into his arms for a fierce hug. She felt his heart beating fast in his chest and she breathed him in. Trying to imagine what it would have been to lose this. And as scared as she still was, she knew that she would fight for this relationship no matter what it took.
That night, Elliot put Eli to bed and then walked back down to the kitchen to check on Olivia. She smiled up at him as she slid onto the stool at the kitchen island. "He asleep?"
Elliot nodded, "After stalling for an extra twenty...he finally conked out."
He wrapped his arms around her and hers instinctively went around his waist, "That's one hell of a kid you got there Stabler."
He smiled and leaned down to kiss her, "You raised him right alongside us Olivia. He's incredible because of you too."
She blushed, "I think we can agree to disagree on that but thank you." She smiled, "You know I'd do anything for your kids."
He nodded, "I do know that. And so does Kathy…"
She pushed him back slightly, "I got an appointment at the Doctors. Tomorrow at 3:30. We're supposed to drop Eli at Kathy's at 3 so I figured we could just go straight there after."
His smile widened, "Ultrasound?"
She nodded, "First one. Yes."
He tugged on her brown hair gently, "How do you feel?"
She scrunched her nose and shrugged her shoulders, "Excited of course but...nervous too."
He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, "Everything is going to be okay Liv. I promise."
She smiled and then her face turned sober, "Afterwards...I'd like to go to the Precinct."
He tensed slightly and tried to pull away but she held him close, "Olivia-"
"I know that you don't want me there. But I want to see what they have. I mean...he won't be there. I talked to Fin earlier. They moved him to central booking for the time being. But...I want to see the evidence Elliot. I need to see it." She whispered.
He sighed and pulled away, "I get that...but after such a positive moment, you want to do it then?"
She shrugged, "You said yourself...there's no hiding from this. I have to do it sometime."
He lifted a hand and rubbed it over his tired face, "There's not going to be any talking you out of this is there?"
She shook her head, "I think you know me well enough to know the answer to that."
He nodded slowly, "Right…"
She watched him carefully for a moment and could see the wheels turning in his head. She knew what he was afraid of and she didn't blame him. Standing up, she walked all the way over to him and put a hand on his chest, "Elliot...look at me."
He took a calming breath and then met her eyes, "Sometimes I have a hard time leaving your side. I feel this…" His voice trailed off and he knew he couldn't hide his emotion, "This overwhelming need to protect you. To make sure that nothing ever hurts you. And over the years I haven't always been able to protect you and that hurts. This hurts...I can't protect you from this and that scares me."
Her love for him only grew when she listened to his words and she stood up on her tiptoes to wrap her arms around his shoulders and come eye to eye with him, "I don't need you to protect me Elliot. But I do need you to support me."
He held her tight, "I do support you. Always. But that doesn't mean that I'm not scared."
"Well that makes two of us." She said honestly, "But we've been through a lot together Stabler. We've never let anything break us before and I won't let this break us now. That man…" Her voice cracked as she spoke, "He took so much from me and I never even met him. He took so much from my Mother too. But I refuse to let him win again."
He licked his lips and cupped her face in his hands, "Do you know how amazing you are?"
She shook her head, "I'm only as strong as I am because I have you. So please...don't leave."
He pulled her all the way into his chest and breathed her in, "Never Liv. Never."
The next afternoon, Elliot was helping Eli unpack at Kathy's house and checking in with the twins. Olivia stood out on the front steps and Kathy walked out to talk to her.
"Hey…" Kathy whispered, "How are you doing?"
Olivia smiled shyly, it was hard for her to discuss something so personal with Kathy. Other than Elliot and occasionally her friends at work she never discussed it with anyone. "I'm...I'm okay. Thank you for asking."
Kathy smiled, "Elliot told me…" Olivia didn't respond, "About the baby."
"Oh." She said putting a hand on her stomach, "It's still really early."
"You are going to be a wonderful Mother." She paused and said honestly, "You already are."
Olivia looked up in surprise, "Kathy-"
"It may have taken us a long time to get to this place but I am so grateful to have you in my life Olivia. The way you love my children is so incredible. You'd do anything for them. I know that. I've always known that...but you've proved it time and time again. Especially these last few years. I can't even imagine where Kathleen would be today without you. You've been her greatest confidant and that gives me such peace of mind." She whispered.
Olivia's respect for Elliot's ex-wife was growing by the minute, "I've been afraid that it bothered you that she came to talk to me."
Kathy shook her head, "It was hard at first. But the more I thought about it...the more I realized that if I had been in Kathleen's position...my parents would have been the last people I wanted to confide in. She feels safe with you. And you have always come to Elliot and I when you knew it was necessary. I can't thank you enough for that."
Olivia smiled softly, "You have raised five of the greatest kids I've ever met Kathy. If I can do half the job you did with this one...I'll be lucky."
Kathy smiled and stepped up to her all the way, "You can do this. Just remember...you're not alone anymore."
Olivia reached a hand up and wiped a tear away, "Thank you Kathy...for-" She shrugged and hoped she understood how deep this statement went, "For everything."
Kathy nodded once as the door opened and Elliot stepped out. She turned to him and smiled when she heard loud voices coming from the house, "Are they arguing already?"
Elliot laughed, "Well Lizzie and Richie were already arguing. But then Eli spilled his water on Richie's homework so he has to start over. Although I don't think it will kill him since he copied Lizzie's to begin with."
Kathy laughed and shook her head, "God help me…"
He smirked, "If it's okay with you...and they are all okay with it, we'd like to have all the kids over next week. To tell them about the baby."
Kathy smiled, "Of course. Richie and Lizzie have nothing going on with school next Thursday if that works. Friday is an inservice day anyway. They can stay for the weekend if you'd like."
"That would be nice." Elliot said gently, "Thank you. I'll call later this week to finalize the plan."
"Sounds good." She turned back to Olivia, "You call if you need anything...okay? I've done this a few times. I know all the tricks."
Olivia smiled, "I'll keep that in mind."
Kathy's face sobered, "And...if you just need someone to talk too about anything else...I'm here for that too.
Elliot's heart thumped away in his chest. He had never in life felt as lucky as he did in this moment knowing that they could all have this type of relationship. Not everyone in his shoes had been this lucky…
Olivia smiled softly, "Thank you Kathy…"
Kathy lifted a hand and waved to them both. Elliot said goodbye and then walked over to Olivia, he placed a gentle hand on her back and led her towards the car. "You ready?"
She nodded and slid her hand into his, "Absolutely."
Thirty minutes later, Olivia was lying on the examination table with her shirt lifted up. Elliot was beside her, holding her hand tightly as the technician moved the wand around on her stomach.
Olivia's Doctor sat by the monitor and smiled. "Let's see here…" She lifted a hand and pointed to the screen, "That right there would be your baby. You look to be about 10 weeks."
"And everything looks okay?" Olivia asked anxiously, she felt Elliot squeeze her hand beside her.
"Everything looks and sounds just perfect Olivia." She turned back to them, "Would you like to hear the heartbeat?"
"Yes." They said in unison and Elliot leaned forward to kiss the side of her head.
After a moment, the steady rhythm of their childs' heartbeat filled the room. Olivia didn't even try to hide the tears that were burning in her eyes. The last few days had been so overwhelming for many different reasons. But hearing the heartbeat of her unborn child was something she could never and would never take for granted.
How long had she wished for this moment? How long had she prayed to have this...and to have it with Elliot. And now...despite everything they had been through. They were here. And it was happening. It was all happening.
Even though everything else was scary...even though she still was struggling with the demons from her past, she knew she could do this. She had to do this. This baby was a miracle. Their miracle. And she wasn't ever going to let her child down.
She thought about her Mother for a moment. It was only natural. She knew her Mother hadn't felt this joy and that made her sad not only for her Mom but for herself too. But Elliot had been right... Serena chose to keep her. She chose to raise her and she did the best she could. It hadn't been the best childhood...but all of that had brought her to this moment and as far as she was concerned...there was a lot to be grateful for.
"Liv?" Elliot whispered beside her, she turned away from the screen and smiled, "That's our baby…" He whispered.
She nodded slowly and leaned forward to kiss him, "That's our baby."
As their eyes met, they both were thinking about the last time they had been in this very hospital when Eli was born...
Elliot and Olivia were sitting in her apartment watching a movie. Olivia had been home for the day, cleaning and catching up things she had neglected due to work. Elliot came over after his shift. They made dinner, fooled around and now we're sitting on the couch in comfortable silence.
Elliot was sitting up, his back against the back of the couch and his feet propped up on the coffee table. Olivia was lying down, her head resting on the armrest and her feet were resting in his lap. She tossed him an almond and he laughed, popping it into his mouth. She smiled at how normal this all felt and hoped it could stay this way forever.
They had both worked really hard in the last few months to make things work. It wasn't always easy but it had been more than worth it. She felt content, safe and above all she felt happy.
The sound of Elliot's phone ringing began to fill the space. She groaned, assuming it was a new case and he sighed, flipping it open before looking at the name. He sat up quickly and Olivia followed suit.
"I'll be right there. Are you okay?" He asked whoever was on the phone, "Right. Of course. No...just hang on. I'll be there as soon as I can."
He hung up the phone and turned back to his girlfriend, she looked nervous, "What's wrong?"
He smiled and shook his head, "Nothing. Kathy's in labor."
Olivia's eyes widened, "I thought she had another two weeks?"
He laughed, "Well looks like this kiddo wants an early eviction."
Olivia smiled and moved her feet off of his lap to let him get up, she followed him, "Is she okay?"
He nodded and searched for his keys, "Yeah. She's good. Maureen is with her. Kathleen is going to bring Richie and Lizzie in a few hours. It could take awhile."
Olivia nodded and watched him walk into her bedroom to grab the overnight bag he had brought with him. She was happy for them. She really was. She loved all four of Elliot's kids and she knew she was going to love this one just as much. However, she couldn't pretend she didn't feel a little out of place at this moment. This was something very intimate between Elliot and his ex-wife and she wanted to give them the space and respect they deserved.
Elliot came out of the room with his bag and a second bag in his hand, she gave him a look, "What-""Well you don't think you're missing this, do you?" He asked, holding out the second bag.
She opened her mouth in surprise, "El...I-"
He shook his head, "Kathy and I discussed it months ago. We want you there. You're going to be just as big of a part of this kids life as we are. It may be a little...unconventional but you're not getting out of this Liv. So just do us both a favor and get your coat."
Her heart swelled and she walked all the way over to him. She leaned up on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to his lips. He gave her a wink and she walked past him to get her coat. He slipped his hand into hers as they excited the apartment feeling overwhelmingly lucky.
The labor took about 12 hours. Olivia sat out in the waiting room with the four kids during the process. She made sure they were comfortable, that they were fed and kept them entertained to keep from worrying. Finally, Elliot came out with a huge smile on his face.
All eyes turned to him expectantly, "It's a boy!"
Richie jumped off his chair, "Thank God!" He cheered.
Elliot laughed and hugged his kids as they celebrated all around him, "Is Mom okay?" Lizzie asked.
Elliot nodded, "She's great. Why don't you go in and meet your brother?"
The four kids smiled at Olivia and then walked past their Dad and headed towards the room Kathy was in. Olivia watched them go and then saw Elliot take a deep breath. He turned back to her and smiled, she saw the emotions coursing through him. She didn't say anything, just let him have this moment. Then he walked over to her and pulled her flush against his chest. She buried her face in the crook of his neck and held him tight.
"Congratulations." She whispered to him.
He pulled back and sighed, he cupped her face in his hands, "He's perfect. 8lbs, 6 oz, 21 inches. Full lung capacity…"
Olivia laughed, "Like father like son."
He smiled, "Kathy wants to name him Elliot."
She rolled her eyes playfully, "Oh...just what the world needs. A second Elliot Stabler. God help us all…"
He scoffed at her and squeezed her hips, "I'm starting to think you don't like me as much as you claim Liv."
She laughed and pushed him back slightly, "You should go back in there...be with your family."
He frowned and refused to let her go, "I'm only going in there if you come with me."
She felt her heart jump in her chest, "El-"
"You're part of this family too." He whispered, "Please…"
She cleared her throat, "I'm not sure Kathy-"
He shook his head, "She was practically ready to drag you in there during the labor but they wouldn't let another person in. It's okay. We want you with us. You're stuck with us now."
She took a deep breath, "You're sure?"
He nodded and squeezed her hand, "Positive."
She looked deep into his eyes to make sure she saw the sincerity there and she did. Smiling, she gave him a quick nod and he started to walk backwards and pull her along with him. She could hear Elliot's four older kids gushing over their new baby brother as he pushed the door open. She took a breath to try and compose herself as they stepped inside the room.
From her spot on the bed, Kathy smiled at Olivia, "Hey Olivia."
Olivia felt Elliot squeeze her hand and she walked further into the room, "You did it again Kathy. Superwoman."
Kathy smiled, "Oh I don't know about that. But I can honestly say...this is the last one."
There was a little laughter in the room and Olivia looked over at Maureen who was holding her brother. "Do you want to hold him?" Maureen asked.
Olivia stumbled for a moment, "Oh I-"
"Go on." Kathy whispered, "I want him to meet all the important people."
Olivia licked her lips anxiously and looked over at Elliot. He gave her a little nod and she walked all the way up to Elliot's oldest child. She smiled at the young woman and Maureen carefully placed the baby in Olivia's arms.
Staring down at the little bundle in her arms, Olivia felt her heart constrict in her chest. How was it possible to love someone so small, so new, so much? She knew in this moment that she would die for this child. It had been a stressful road to get here but she wouldn't let anything ever happen to this boy.
"How does it feel to hold your Godson?" Kathy whispered from her spot on the bed.
Olivia's head snapped up in shock and all the Stabler's were staring at her smiling, "What?"
Elliot cleared his throat and put his hand on her back, "We want you to be Eli's Godmother Liv."
She didn't even try to hold the tears in, "I...I don't-" She paused and looked down at the little baby who was staring up at her and then looked back at Kathy, "Kathy, I couldn't-"
Kathy reached a hand out and put it gently on Olivia's arm, "If there is anyone in this world I would trust to take care of my children...it's you Olivia. It was the easiest choice I have ever made."
"Well…" Olivia looked down at Eli again and smiled, "Hello Eli...it's nice to finally meet you. You have no idea how loved you are."
Elliot squeezed her shoulder and felt a surge of emotion run through him. It didn't seem possible to feel this happy, this lucky and this amount of love but here they were. And in that moment he knew he would do anything to make sure nothing ever hurt any of the people in this room.
A few hours later, Olivia agreed to take the older kids back to Elliot's house. She was going to stay with them so that Elliot and Kathy could stay with Eli at the hospital. Elliot had stepped out of the room to help his kids get their stuff together to go home. Olivia was rocking Eli back and forth, not wanting to let him go.
She smiled down at him, "Kathy, he is beyond perfect."
Kathy smiled and yawned from her spot on the bed, "He looks like his Father. We're so screwed. Two Elliot Stabler's. I don't know what I was thinking when I suggested the name. Must have been the hormones and drugs."
Olivia laughed and walked over to her, she slowly handed Eli to her. "We'll make sure he doesn't inherit all of his Dad's characteristics."
Kathy smiled and smoothed the blanket down around her small son, "I'm glad he'll have an extra person to set him on the right track."
Olivia paused and stared at this woman she had been jealous of for so many years. The relationship between them was still evolving but she was incredibly grateful to be here. She cleared her throat and then whispered, "Kathy...are you really sure about-"
"Yes." She said looking up at Olivia quickly, "I'm sure Olivia. There was no other choice in my opinion. I meant what I said. You are the only person I trust to help raise my kids if I wasn't able. I know you'd do anything for them. All five of them. No matter what."
Olivia felt the tears burning in her eyes again, "I would. I love them Kathy. But I also want you to know that...I respect you so much. You are their Mother first and foremost. I will be here for them in any and every way that I can. But I will never overstep my boundaries. I promise. And if you ever feel that I have...I want you to tell me. No questions asked."
Kathy smiled up at her, "I appreciate that Olivia. Thank you."
Olivia took a deep breath, "You should get some rest. I'll make sure the kids are all set at Elliot's. We'll come by tomorrow."
Kathy nodded, "Okay."
Olivia looked down at Eli and pressed a gentle hand to his head, "Goodnight Eli."
She waved at them both and then stepped out of the room. She leaned against the wall for a moment and closed her eyes to try and compose herself. It had been a hell of a day. She smiled when she heard footsteps coming towards her and she wasn't surprised when she felt Elliot pull her in for a hug again.
"Thank you." He whispered into her hair.
She squeezed him back and then pulled away, "What could you possibly be thanking me for? I didn't do a damn thing."
He shook his head and laughed, "Oh how wrong you are Benson. You saved me."
She stared up at him and looked deep in his eyes, "Elliot-"
"If you had not come into my life when you did...I think that I would have gone down a dark road. We both know that I have my...demons. But you've given me a reason again Olivia. You set me on the right track...never let me unravel all the way. I am so incredibly grateful for you. And…" He pushed her hair back, "I'm so damn lucky to have you."
She smiled up at him and bit her lip to keep the tears in, "You're stronger than you realize El. You're a hell of a man and I love you."
He shook his head again and leaned down to kiss her, "I don't know why you do...but I'm going to make sure that that never changes."
She kissed him back and leaned her forehead against his, "I can assure you it won't."
He kissed her nose and pulled back, "I'm going to hold you to that."
She smiled and stepped around him and looked at the kids waiting for her by the hospital entrance, "I should go. I know they're tired. Casey said she was dropping off dinner. I'll make sure they don't stay up too late."
He nodded, "I have no worries about them being with you."
She smiled and squeezed his hand, "El, about the whole Godmother thing-"
He squeezed her hand back, "As far as I am concerned...someday you are going to be my wife." He saw her stand up a little straighter, clearly surprised by his words. "And when that happens, you will be Eli's Step-Mom anyway. Like Kathy said...there is no one else we would trust with our children more than you. These kids are damn lucky…"
She cleared her throat and tried to hold it together, "Thank you El. It means more to me than you know to hear that."
He walked all the way up to her and kissed her again, "I love you."
She pressed her fingers to his face and drank in the sight of him, "I love you too."
They were quietly staring at each other, content in this moment. But then they heard Lizzie and Richie arguing and Olivia couldn't help but laugh. Elliot sighed and went to handle the situation. She pushed him back and shook her head, "Liv-"
"I got it." She said pushing him towards Kathy's room, "Kathy and Eli need you. I'll see you tomorrow."
He smiled softly at her, once again struck by how lucky he truly was. "I'll see you tomorrow."
She gave him a wink and then turned to walk back to Elliot's four oldest children. She put her arm around Lizzie and began to usher them out the door. She turned at the last second and wasn't surprised to see Elliot still watching them. He lifted his hand in a small wave and she gave him a nod before turning to walk out the door.
As she left...she wondered if they would ever be back here to have their own child...
Twenty minutes later they were walking out of the Hospital hand in hand. Olivia was staring down at the ultrasound in her hand still in a state of euphoria. She almost didn't hear someone calling her name.
"Mrs. Stabler?" The voice said.
Olivia and Elliot both looked up, Elliot of course didn't recognize the man but she did. "Allistair."
The man let out a little breath, "I'm so glad to see you."
Elliot looked at his wife expectantly, "Oh. Elliot. This is Allistair Johnson. He...he helped me get to Huang the other day despite the fact that I almost made him crash his cab."
Elliot turned back to the man, "Well...thank you Mr. Johnson." He stuck his hand out to him, "I can't thank you enough for helping take care of my wife."
Allistair smiled, "It was nothing." He looked at Olivia, "You look...much better than you did the other day."
She blushed, "I...I am. Thank you. What are you doing here?"
"My daughter is a Nurse here. I was dropping off lunch." He said pointing to the bag in his hand.
Olivia smiled, "She's one lucky girl to have a Father like you."
Elliot squeezed her elbow knowing how deep that comment went for her. Allistair smiled at her, relieved to see her looking and sounding better. He looked down at the item in her hand, "I see that there might be another lucky child coming into the world soon…"
Olivia blushed and looked down at the ultrasound again, "Yes...we-we're having a baby."
He smiled, "Congratulations."
Olivia took a deep breath and looked at him intently, "Alistair I…" She looked at her husband, "El do you mind if-"
He shook his head and leaned forward to kiss her cheek, "I'll go get the car. Take your time." He turned back to the man who helped save his wife, "Thank you again Mr. Johnson. I owe you more than I'll ever be able to repay you for."
Allistair smiled sheepishly and watched Elliot walk away. He turned back to look at Olivia and smiled, "So…"
She sighed, "I can't explain what happened...but I need you to understand that you saved me the other day. You saved me from making a very big mistake. I wish I could repay you somehow."
He smiled and shook his head, "It isn't necessary Olivia. I'm just glad you are alright."
She smiled and looked back at the hospital, "Do you have other children?"
He smiled and nodded, "Ali is my oldest and she is the nurse who works here. Sarah will be graduating High School this year. They are my whole world."
Olivia smiled, "They are very lucky."
He sighed, "Their Mother died when they were young...it's just been the three of us for so long. I wish I could have given them more…"
Olivia shook her head, "You gave them everything they needed just by loving them. Trust me. I never knew my Father...so I know how important it is to feel that type of love."
Allistair smiled and reached a hand out to her, he squeezed her wrist of the hand holding the ultrasound. "This child will be incredibly lucky too."
Olivia smiled and leaned forward to hug him, "Thank you."
Elliot pulled the car up beside them as they pulled apart. He waited patiently and Olivia pulled back, "I should…"
Allistair nodded, "Of course. Take care of yourself Olivia."
"I will." She whispered before climbing into the car with her husband.
Elliot waved to Allistair and watched him walk back to his cab. He reached across the center console and took her hand. Lifting it, he pressed a kiss to her ring finger, "You okay?"
She rested her head on the back of the chair and looked down at the ultrasound, "I'm not 100%...but I will be. I've got a hell of a lot to be grateful for." She looked back up at him, "I love you."
He squeezed her hand again and dropped it to his lap, "I love you too."
She squeezed his hand back and nodded, "Fin is waiting…"
Elliot nodded, "I know."
She lifted the ultrasound and slipped it into the visor so she could look at it as they drove. And he knew that she wasn't going to lose sight of what was most important.
It was important to me to explore that relationship between Kathy/Elliot/Olivia. I know in the actual show, Elliot slept with Kathy after Olivia's return. But this is a work of fiction and I chose to change the timeline to fit the needs of this story.
I always felt that in the show (we all remember the infamous hug scene!) that we should have had a moment between the three of them. And...I always kind of wished Olivia had been picked as the Godmother. She deserved it after helping Kathy during the labor.
Anyway...I digress. I keep saying it but I am seriously loving writing this story.
Up next- Olivia and Elliot go to the precinct and check in with the rest of her family. They go over the evidence and Olivia reflects on her relationships with Elliot, Fin, Munch, Cragen and Casey.
I'll update as soon as I can!