A/N: Welcome, welcome to another journey! This one is more lighthearted and succinct than anything else I've put out there so far. Here's some things to keep in mind: we are post-Season 5 here and I might not mention/involve canon much bc as most of you know, Season 6 was not my fave (bc it sucked). This was inspired by the following musings/shower thoughts: 1. Jane was NOT okay at the end of Season 5 and that was never really dealt with. 2 Why is it that we only ever see Jane (unenthusiastically) participating in whatever activities Maura is into on the show? Why did Jane never have hobbies of her own that she brought Maura to? And why was Jane always such a whiny PITA with anything Maura liked? That was the jumping off point for what grew into...all of this. Get ready...here's Part 1 of 6.

Prologue

Jane sighed dramatically. There was no reason for her to be this bored. It was a summer Saturday and they had no case, two things that generally would have made her very happy, but here she sat in her apartment breathing in stale air and feeling not one ounce of motivation to do anything. It's okay to do nothing sometimes, Maura had reassured her when they'd met for a run and coffee that morning. You just need to recharge. But Jane could hear the message beneath the surface. Heal. Recover. Move on. Bounce back. Maura and her mother and the rest of them had subtly and unsubtly been beating that drum for weeks.

But here she was, with mountains of time - usually the thing she complained that kept her from whatever she wanted to do - and staring at her wall. She could clean her house and rearrange her belongings and probably feel better about her life, but Jane felt no inclination. She could put on a game and grab a beer, but Jane couldn't be bothered to do that either. And it wasn't just today, Jane realized absently as she moped. That was the problem. One day of laying low could be rejuvenating. But all of these stacked up together was starting to feel less like recovery and more like backsliding.

Jane grabbed her phone. Maura was always good for a distraction. Sometimes inspiration, even, not that Jane often would admit that. What are you doing? Texting was a beautiful thing, Jane thought as she waited on Maura's response. Maura would have no way of knowing that Jane was festering whereas in a phone call, she'd suss it out immediately.

Reading. The response came promptly. I spread a blanket in the courtyard. It's so nice out.

Jane raised an eyebrow. Um, okay. Sounds uncomfortable.

Multiple blankets. Jane could imagine Maura's wry tone almost as if she was in the room and speaking to her directly. Not a bad way to spend a Saturday.

Wish I could agree. Jane felt a surprising burst of honesty. I'm so bored. And unmotivated. I don't know what's wrong with me.

She was surprised at the quick response and even more so at the clinical tone. You're in a rut. The Maura-voice in her head read the words annoyingly Which is normal. You've been through a lot.

Thanks, Dr. Phil.

Dr. Phil isn't even a doctor. And no need to be mean.

Jane sighed. Fine. I'm in a rut. Do you have any suggestions, Dr. Isles, or just an armchair diagnosis?

A rut isn't a diagnosis.

Maura!

Maura was quiet for so long that Jane debated a phone call to try to smooth things over. Why don't you come over? Maybe you'll feel better.

I don't know. Jane waffled a bit, unwilling to give in so easily.

Oh, come on. Don't tell me that wasn't what you were going for when you texted me to start with. Jane laughed aloud then, a little embarrassed but also unsurprised. Maura could read her through text as easily as she could if Jane was standing before her.

Fine. But you clearly are having a better day than me. I'd hate to rain on your parade with my bad attitude.

I'm not having a parade. Jane rolled her eyes skyward. But I think I get your point, and you're not. Please, Jane, just come over. We can sit in the sun for a while and you'll feel better. I know you will. Just give it a chance.

Jane was pleased, but also annoyed with herself for being pleased. She had essentially crashed Maura's relaxing afternoon and was probably about to plough right through it with her own issues. Jane found herself more and more at odds lately; should she keep drawing Maura in, forever persistent in being the primary focus of Maura's attention and affection, or push her away and try to regain some sense of control in the process? Jane didn't know, but she could at least recognize that the question at its core wasn't fair. Who was Jane to make decisions and call the shots when the question involved another living, breathing person, who also happened to be her best friend? But that was an issue for another time. I'm on my way, she responded, already standing up from the couch and moving to gather her things. Jane distantly noted as she did so that even though she'd struggled to do anything - even move - in the entire time since she'd returned from their morning outing, she had no issue getting her ass in gear now that Maura was involved. These were complicated waters indeed.

-R-I-

Jane let herself through Maura's gate and came around to the courtyard. She managed to do so with so little sound and commotion that she was able to get a full view of Maura - face relaxed but mostly covered by dark sunglasses, hair loose over bare shoulders, toned legs stretched out in front of her, bare feet with, was that blue polish on her toes? - before Maura looked up from her book and smiled at her easily. "Come sit," she called, patting the spot on the blanket beside her. Jane was happy to see that Maura hadn't been kidding about the many layers of blankets and was grateful that she wasn't about to be sore and cranky from what was probably going to be a long discussion on the rough ground. Maura took off her sunglasses and her glance up and down Jane's body may have seemed invasive if Jane wasn't so used to it. So as Maura scanned her casual gym shorts and police t-shirt, Jane too was drinking in Maura's outfit - dark denim shorts that were cuffed and cute, but so uncharacteristic of Maura that Jane nearly broke their unspoken rules of gazing to comment on them, and a light pink tank top that looked soft apart from the woven piece on the back - crochet, Jane guessed, or was it lace?

Jane shook herself out of her head and took the offered seat, but sat opposite of how Maura had probably intended, angling herself so that her legs were stretched out along Maura's and so she could face Maura head on. She kicked off her flip flops and knocked her foot teasingly into Maura's hip, smiling a little when Maura tried the same move but knocked Jane somewhere around her thigh instead. There were three inches between them that Maura's penchant for high heels often diminished, but with the two of them barefoot and stretched out side-by-side, it was much more apparent. "Why is it that someone with what I know for a fact are very expensive, very comfortable patio chairs is sitting on the ground, in a courtyard, on top of a mound of what probably are not outdoor-friendly blankets?"

Maura shrugged, her collar bone prominent under her loose tank top. "I just felt like it. Haven't you ever just felt like something and went with it?"

Jane considered it as she bent her legs, placing her feet flat on the ground so that she could hug her bare knees. "Yeah. But that's mostly like...should I get another beer or call it a night?"

"Maybe that's your problem."

"Excuse me?"

Maura bent her own knees to mirror Jane's stance, leaning forward so that she and Jane were closer together. "Like I said, you're in a rut. Now you have to get out."

"You say that like it's simple."

"So you agree that you're in a rut?"

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't," Jane sighed, then caught herself at the quick flash of what looked like hurt across Maura's face. "I didn't mean it that way." She reached over to tentatively touch Maura's hand where it was wrapped around her knee. "Really. I'm...thanks for letting me come over. I feel less like I'm in a rut when I'm with you. But I know I am."

"And you know why you are?" Maura's gaze was piercing and Jane ducked a little from it to try to preserve some of herself just a little bit. Deeper conversations with Maura tended to leave her feeling both relieved and laid bare, and sometimes they cancelled themselves out to such a degree that Jane didn't feel as much resolution from them as she wished for.

Jane snorted. "It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that," she scoffed. "I mean, it feels like the prize box of trauma, except I got them all instead of just having to pick one. The last couple years have really been something."

"They have," Maura offered simply. "And I'm not a therapist, and I'm not your therapist especially, and we've talked about all of this enough so I don't think that's what you're after here. You don't want to go over it all again."

"No," Jane said, realizing that Maura was right. "And if I did, I guess, or if I had to if things don't get better on their own or just by myself, I guess that's what therapy is for."

"Therapy isn't a bad thing, Jane. It probably would help you more than you think."

"I don't even disagree," Jane admitted. "But that's...I think I need to try it on my own first before I go that route. I just haven't figured out how."

"What do you like?" Maura absently played with Jane's fingers clasped on her knees.

"Come again? And besides, you already know that."

"If you're in a rut, you have to get out of it. And that means trying. So...what can you try that will help? Can you do something you already like or try something different?"

"I don't know," Jane said slowly. "I like what I've always liked but that hasn't made me feel better lately." She looked at Maura thoughtfully, an idea dawning on her. "You always are doing new things. You should pick some stuff. I could like...do them with you or whatever."

"No," Maura said decidedly. She met Jane's eyes, seemingly taking in Jane's incredulous look, and backpedaled. "I mean, yes, I do like trying new things, but no...that's not the answer here."

"But why?" Jane tried to keep the pout off her face.

"Because you hate everything I pick," Maura said bluntly, and Jane's mouth dropped open. "Don't deny it or apologize or try to get around it. Seriously, Jane, think about all the things I've dragged you to. Even the things you haven't been as vocal about as the others you've still hated."

"Um. I didn't completely hate everything." Jane was caught between feeling attacked and guilty.

"Yoga. Mud baths. Art galleries. Cocktail parties. Spa days. Massages. Kale. Name one of those things that you didn't hate."

"Hate is a strong word," Jane tried. "You know I liked the massage once I...got over myself a bit."

"Liked and enjoyed are not completely the same thing," Maura countered. "And I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I'm just saying that if the goal is to get you out of your rut, having me pick things for us to do is not going to work out well. It probably would make you feel worse.

Now the guilt had arrived full force. "I feel like a jerk," Jane confessed, chagrined. "I guess I never thought about it like that. We've done a lot of things together and I didn't realize how often I complained about the stuff you picked."

Maura sighed. "Jane, I'm not a child. I'm not going to take it personally if you hate yoga or spa days. And there's plenty of things we both like - running and coffee and just spending time together."

Jane nodded. "We go to movies," she argued. "And we go out to eat and...I don't know. Some of the times that have been the most fun haven't even been planned."

"Like what?"

"Like when we laid on my mattress that night after Frankie and Frost were falling all over whats-her-name and talked about weddings. Or any of the times we've sat at the Dirty Robber or threw together dinner at your place." Jane caught Maura's softening look. "Why can't we just do more of that?"

"It's not like we can't," Maura pointed out. "I just mean that maybe you'd feel better if you had things to look forward to or plan or just things to do that were different. Aren't there things that you've always wanted to do?

"Aren't there things that YOU'VE always wanted to do,' Jane countered, trying to deflect. Maura stared at her until she relented. "I don't know, Maura, God. I mean, yeah, I used to think it would be cool to go to Italy."

"So what's stopping you?"

Jane put her face to her knees. "I don't know," she said defeatedly. "I don't want to plan some big trip or put out the money or worry about the time off. And I'd be afraid that I'd plan some big amazing vacation and still be miserable but just in another country. Why can't it be something easy?"

"There's not anything that you ever wanted to try," Maura prodded gently. "Even back when you were a kid?"

"I don't think so." Jane was frustrated. "Okay, actually, yes. When I was ten I saw an advertisement about parasailing and it looked cool, so yes, I wanted to go parasailing. And because we live in Boston and not on Jersey Shore and my mother is a worrier, I never went. There you go."

"So why couldn't you go parasailing?"

Jane opened her mouth to protest and then realized she had nothing. "I guess I could," she said slowly. "Would you...would you want to go with me?"

Maura smiled at her with some amusement. "Of course I would. Now what else?"

Jane wracked her brain. It seemed to be coming easier now. "I've never been out to Salem. And that would probably be fun in the fall. And I've never been to a Patriots game, and now is as good of a time as any to go, before Brady gets traded."

"And you're up to three. Parasailing's a summer activity, and then we have Salem for the fall, and then the Patriots in the winter."

"It's all so spread out," Jane said a bit warily. There had to be a catch, right?

"But that's good. You need things to look forward to, and you might not start feeling better overnight. It's not a race. And if you look at it more like feeling better over time, it might actually help you get there instead of getting you all tangled up."

"Are you sure you're not a therapist?"

"Jane, you know that I am not a therapist." This time, Maura caught Jane's look and relented. "But I suppose I probably sound like one and that's not what I'm trying to do."

"I'm not saying that it isn't helpful." Jane ducked her head a little to catch Maura's eyes as she bent her head in slight embarrassment. "You might have even missed your calling. You really think you're better with dead people?" She saw a hint of a smile on Maura' face and hid her own, pleased at her ability to perk Maura up. And with that thought, Jane realized then what Maura was trying to do. "You're saying all of this because you want me to feel better."

Maura raised her head to give Jane a look that would have said "duh" for any other person except the articulate Maura Isles. "Of course I want you to feel better," she said. "I love you, and I hate it when you're hurting. And you are, even if you don't want to admit it."

Jane's stomach did that little flippy thing that it had taken to doing ever since that first night in Jane's apartment all that time ago when Maura had uttered that exact phrase for the first, but not nearly the last, time in their relationship. Friendship, Jane corrected herself silently. She quietly scooted even closer to where Maura was huddled, hugging her knees, and swung herself around so that she and Maura were finally side by side. Jane kissed the side of Maura's head swiftly, leaving little time for either of them to comment on it before gently taking Maura's hand off her knee to pull her backwards, the two of them landing gently on their backs cushioned by the blankets and staring up into the cloudless sky.

"So I'm going to pull myself out of this rut," Jane said in summary, somewhat to make sense of it all in her own head and also somewhat so that Maura would be too focused on her words to let go of her hand. "And you're going to come along for the ride?"

Rather than dropping Jane's hand, Maura tightened her fingers in Jane's grip. "Sounds about right to me."

Jane grinned despite herself. "Are you sure you're ready for that," she teased. "I mean, sure, I did my fair share of complaining and whining, so that more than excuses whatever I'm in for here. But you're seriously agreeing to whatever dumb stuff I come up with that will supposedly put me back together?"

"Your ideas aren't dumb," Maura said seriously. "And I suppose that some of them may not be things I would choose. You're going to have to explain football to me, for one, and probably answer lots of questions. But if it's a choice between you feeling better and not, or you doing this on your own or being there with you, that's easy. And besides, it won't be so bad."

Jane held their hands up so they were extended before them, the sky forming a crystalline backdrop behind them. Was it her imagination or had Maura shifted just enough so that her chin was nearly on Jane's shoulder? Jane arranged their entwined hands so that their pinkies interlocked. "I'm going to hold you to that."

"Good," Maura sighed. "I think that you should." She gave up all pretenses and let her chin fully drop on Jane's shoulder, her breath tickling Jane's cheek. "And since that's settled, maybe we can move onto one of those spontaneously fun times you were talking about before."

"We can't forget those," Jane agreed. She let her own head drop so that her cheek rested on Maura's hair. Maybe Maura was right, she thought, and this wouldn't be so bad after all. They'd just have to wait and see.