W: Can you believe the meteorite that fell in the mountains near Fukang, China
D: No fukang way
D: Oh man I think I just ran out of pain.
D: paint*
D: I still have plenty of pain Lmao
W: Adding lmao doesn't make it any less depressing, Dick.
D: There is something about sunlight that makes life seem just a little less horrible
W: Its the vitamin d bitch
D: I'm at that point where I'm ready to stand outside of Arkham, banging pots together and screaming 'I DIDN'T GET NO SLEEP CAUSE OF Y'ALL, YOU AIN'T GONNA GET SO SLEEP CAUSE OF ME'
D: And then shine the bat signal into their windows
W: You know why you're a good detective?
D: tell me
W: You have those serial killer instincts that can help you figure out their motives
D: I have a black belt
W: In taekwondo?
D: Yes but also from Gucci
D: I knew you were lost.
W: I will seriously pay you to shut up
D: That's not your money
W: But it can be yours for five minutes of silence
W: hey remember the time you stole my crayons?
D: yeah why?
W: bitch
D:Why do we have the desire to pick up any large sticks and carry them around for no reason
W: Sword dysphoria
W: My all time favorite out of context quote from my classroom is from mineral ID lab last year
W: All the students were hard at work on the lab, and relatively quiet, when apparently two students were arguing about a mineral, and one just yells, "it's got cleavage, Brian!
D: April 21st is National surprise drug test day
W: Why?
D: 4/21
W: Well this is fun, right?
D: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.
W: I've connected the two dots
D: You didn't connect shit
W: I've connected them
D: The principal took the wheels from my Heelys
D: I feel like Lucifer stripped of his wings
D: I have to walk down the hallways like a common wench and I'm LIVID
D: My biggest personality flaw is not having a cool eyebrow scar
W: Or a lighting scar on your forehead
W: Do you have a bag I can borrow?
D: The only bags I have are the ones under my eyes, and they're specifically designed to carry the burden of my existence.
W: All you had to do was say no
W: I should drop out of school to become a comedian
D: Please don't
D: Do you think birds get sad because they don't have arms?
W: Do you get sad because you don't have wings?
D: Every damned day.
D: Did you see about that guy who accidentally shot himself in the face after the bullet ricocheted off an armadillo
W: Karmadillo
D: I may not be lying on the floor physically
D: But I am lying on the floor spiritually
D: Subtlety has not exactly been the team's strong suit.
W: Ballroom dancing isn't our strong suit, Dick. Subtlety is the realm in which we have collectively set new standards of failure and ineptitude
W: If an archaeologist says an artifact was probably for "ritual purposes" it means "i have no freakin clue"
W: But if they say it was for "fertility rituals" they mean "i know exactly what it was for but I don't want to say 'ancient dildo'"
D: YE OLDE STRAP ON
D: How do I clean up broken glass
W: Use a broom
D: Carpet
W: Vacuum
D: Big pieces?
W: Pick up the big pieces first lol
D: Keep?
W: No
D: …they're shiny
W: No!
R: What are you two arguing about this time?
W: He's always using common phrases incorrectly!
D: Cry me a table, Wally.
W: we're here
R: Bring me some tequila would you
D: Its 8 in the morning
R: Then get me a piece of toast too
Sorry this chapter had more language XD