D: I may not be your cup of tea but I'm your 10th shot of tequila
W: This needs to be a Fall Out Boy song or something
W: Sometimes I forget sad jokes are only funny on the internet
W: I told this guy I wished the earth was flat so I could yeet myself off the edge and he just got concerned
D: Do you have a skeleton?
D: That you're not using lol
D: What do you call a snake that is exactly 3.14 feet long?
D: a πthon
W: I want this on my tombstone
D: Im sending you a news article
D: 'Man locked inside 24 hour Fitness after closing'
W: the math is not working out with this one
W: I'm serious
W: short people are so mean dude
W: I have a lot of short friends and y'all kinda scare me
D: It's because we're closer to hell
W: Are your ears getting better
D: Yeah, I decided to not wear the hearing aides and just wait till my hearing comes back, Bruce says couple more days
W: why not wearing them?
D: taking off shirts while wearing hearing aides is so stressful because one small move could knock them out of place, then BAM welcome to search and rescue: deaf and half naked edition
W: There's a creepy dude following us
W: how do we handling it
D: we handle it by not handling it
W: wyd
D: getting really emotional about High School Musical
D: Do you ever want to stockpile your own blood over the course of a few years and then just go around and start spreading it everywhere before mysteriously disappearing, leaving suspicious amounts of blood throughout the city and turning your whole town into a crime scene which no one can adequately explain outside of someone somehow being murdered simultaneously at like eight taco bells?
W: …
W: are you okay
D: Give a man fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life
W: ARE YOU OKAY
W: My grandmother's cat was acting really weird today, it was apparently concerning enough to take it to the vet. It took two adults to get the cat in the carrier and in the process Aunt Iris got clawed so badly she had to go to the emergency room for shots/stitches, so eventually the cat gets to the vet right
W: The vet had to sedate her to take a look and it turns out she had a piece of tape on her leg that was scaring her real bad. That was all.
W: 'Forgive me Father for I have sinned" and "Sorry daddy I've been naughty" both mean very similar things but have wildly different connotations
D: Wally, I just need to know what you want from McDonalds.
W: Doesn't the term 'staff member' make you laugh because those two words both mean the same thing your name means
D: You know, sometimes its okay to not share your thoughts
W: I am gonna try and fit 20 marshmallows in my mouth
D: you are a hazard to society
D: And a coward. Do 25
D: Tired
D: You?
W: I would literally die for you
D: That wasn't the question but thank you
W: He's licking his lips
W: He's checking it twice
D: Five minutes left on his microwave rice
W: What if Mike was short for Micycle
D: What if bike was short for bichael
R: Can you two just…not
YOUNG JUSTICE SEASON 3 PT2 IS ALMOST HERE!
JOIN ME WITH SCREAMING WITH EXCITEMENT INTO THE VOID!
:D
Also do you ever love a fictional character so much it's mentally incapacitating? That's me with Sam Winchester. I just love him okay. And Dick Grayson. And Harry James Potter. And Luke Skywalker. Why do they all have to be so damn perfect *sobs*