Okay so this chapter has some intense moments, some sweet and some funny. A little bit of everything. Super emotional to follow very soon.
The next morning, Olivia's body was in overdrive as she prepared for court. Elliot didn't leave her side much, they had even showered together. Nothing happened...but she could tell he needed toe close contact and she would never deny she did either. While eating breakfast, he kept one hand on her or rubbed her back, twirled her hair.
They were just about to walk out the front door when Olivia remembered something. Elliot was standing on the front step, waiting to lock up behind her. She put her hand to her chest and frowned, "Crap. Um...I'll be right back."
He gave her a look, "What'd you forget?"
She shook her head, "Meet you in the car. I'll be there in two seconds." He didn't budge and she smiled, leaning in she pressed her lips to his, "I'll be right there babe. I promise."
Sighing, he gave her a nod and then began to walk towards the car knowing whatever it was must be important. She gave him a little smile again, turned and walked back into the house and up the stairs. She walked into her bedroom and went straight to her dresser and grabbed her jewelry box. Flipping it open, she smiled when found what she was looking for.
The chain that held the necklace Elliot had given her with his badge number and "Semper Fi", it also had another pendant beside it. A smaller gold heart, the only piece of jewelry she had of her Mother's. Today more than ever, she wanted Elliot and her Mother close to her heart when she was on the stand. She clasped the necklace behind her neck, shut the box and went to walk away when she accidently bumped into the dresser and knocked over the box on top.
It was the same box she had found her Mother's journals in. Most of them were in Casey's care now to be used during the trial at some point today. But when the box fell over, an envelope she hadn't noticed before fluttered to the ground. She bent down, not easy to do at 8 months pregnant. Picking it up, she saw her name in a familiar writing…
Olivia Benson
Her heart started pounding and she flipped open the envelope and pulled the aging piece of paper out. There was no telling when it had been written, how old it was. But she didn't need to question who had written it and why.
My Dear Olivia,
Should you find this letter...I'll most likely be long gone. For many years I've wondered if I should share these journals with you. They have all the things I wish I could say, wish I could explain to you. But I've never had the heart or courage to do it.
I have not been the best Mother and I am so sorry Olivia. If I could, I'd redo so many things. You deserved more. I want you to know that I did love you. I do love you. I always loved you. I just couldn't get past what happened...but you my sweet girl are nothing like that man.
You are good. You are pure. You are brave. You are loved.
I often thought that maybe you'd someday solve my case...and if you do I ask you to do three things. Maybe I don't have the right to ask you to do anything but I will. And knowing you...you'll follow through.
1. I ask that you make him pay for what he did, not just for me but what it meant for you.
2. I ask that you don't take it easy on him. He doesn't deserve your kindness.
3. Finally, I ask that once it is over you let it go. You let him go.
You Olivia, are not him, you are not connected to him, you owe him nothing. Watch him burn and then walk away forever.
I love you Olivia. Now and always.
Mom
She didn't hear Elliot coming in, didn't feel the tears falling down her cheeks. But she did feel it when he was kneeling in front of her, searching her face for answers. Giving her a look that said if she wanted to back out, he'd find a way to make it happen.
"Liv-" She shook her head and held out the letter.
"It's okay...I'm not-" She paused and wiped at her eyes, "She wrote me this letter...I never saw it before."
Elliot searched her face again, then looked down at the letter and let his eyes quickly scan it. As he did, she saw the tension begin to release from his body. He shifted so he rested his weight on his back heels, licking his lips, he finished the letter and looked up at her. Lifting a hand he touched her cheek, his own eyes glistened with tears, "This is a gift Liv…"
"I know." She whispered, she took the letter, folded it up and slipped it into her pocket, "She's right though...I need to do this then walk away. Forever. No looking back."
Elliot leaned up, pressed a kiss to her forehead and then moved down to kiss her lips, "No looking back."
She smiled at him, feeling her heart swell in her chest when she thought of how much she loved him. "I should have known you'd come looking for me…"
"Thirty seconds in and I panicked...I walked back to the car twice but just gave in." He shrugged, but smiled not even trying to hide his emotions. "You know I-"
"I know." She said with a sniffle, she lifted her hand and touched the pendant, "I wanted you both with me."
Elliot looked down at the double pendant and smiled, "And we will be." He lowered his head so they were eye to eye, "You've got this Liv."
She nodded slowly, took a deep breath and stood up. He watched her check herself in the mirror, take a deep breath and then turn back to him. Slipping her hand into his, they walked out of the bedroom and out to the car, ready to take on the day.
Olivia could feel the extra support today of all days. People from the precinct were there she never even expected to see. Melinda and Huang joined the usual group of friends too. She was grateful and wished she could thank them all individually but she was so focussed she couldn't think about anything else other than the task at hand.
Elliot's arm was wrapped protectively around her and she knew he wasn't going to let go until he absolutely had too. If he could...he would go up and sit beside her on the stand. She smiled to herself, feeling grateful for that. She went through the motions, listened to Casey and Hollister's lawyer. And then she waited…
"The Defense calls Detective Olivia Stabler to the stand." His lawyer said.
She could almost feel the room's tension rise, as if all the people she loved were holding their breath. She didn't hesitate, she stood like she had done so many times before in this very courtroom and went to walk away. And then she felt his hand grasp hers, she could feel his pulse in his wrist. Turning, she looked down at him and he swallowed hard, she wanted to lean down to kiss him and tell him everything would be fine. But she knew he'd understand her because he read her better than anyone else. She squeezed his hand, and used her other hand to touch the pendant on her chest. His eyes followed her hand and nodded and reluctantly let go.
Olivia turned, walked out of the aisle and passed Casey who gave her a supportive smile. She smiled back, rounded the corner and stepped up into the box. She wondered how many times she had testified in court. She settled in, placed a hand on her belly and felt her child kick right back reminding her that she sure as hell wasn't alone up here. Lifting her eyes, she first looked straight ahead and saw Elliot, Cragen, John, Fin, Melinda, Casey, Huang, Kathy and the four older Stabler children.
Then she turned her head and saw Joseph Hollister staring at her. She expected to see a smug look on his face, and yet she noticed he looked...afraid.
That gave her all the strength she needed.
"Mrs. Stabler…" His Lawyer said, "May I call you that?"
Olivia turned her eyes straight to him, "It's legally my name. Yes."
He nodded once, "Yes but at work...you often still go by your maiden name. Detective Benson, correct?"
She didn't flinch, didn't pause, "Yes."
"You are a Detective at the Manhattan Special Victims Unit, correct?" He continued.
"I am." She said with a nod, "I have been for over a decade."
"And your current husband is also a Detective there? Elliot Stabler? In fact isn't it true that he was your partner?" He questioned.
She knew this would come up, "Yes. We were Partners for 8 years."
"And he was married…" He said with a smirk, "In fact he has 5 children from his first wife...isn't that true?"
Olivia smiled, "My stepchildren, yes."
"I have to wonder…" He said with a smirk, "How does Mr. Stabler's first wife feel about the fact that he had an affair with his partner? Must be every wife's nightmare?"
She knew if she looked at Elliot she would see a pure look of anger but she didn't want to give anyone the satisfaction, "Elliot and I did not start our relationship until AFTER his marriage to his first wife ended. As far as how she feels about me...you'd have to ask her. Although I'd say we have a very good relationship and seeing as she has no reason to be questioned in this case...I suppose you'll have to wonder about that on your own time."
He smirked at her, knowing he had hit a nerve. "So you're telling me nothing ever happened with your Partner?"
"No. As I previously stated, our personal relationship did not start until after his marriage was over." She said again without hesitation.
He nodded slowly, then switched tactics. "Well I've learned a lot about your husband. He is a very decorated cop and Detective, he served as a Marine. He also...has a very serious anger management problem. Wouldn't you agree?"
She narrowed her eyes at him, she could handle attacks on her character but she wouldn't stand for an attack on Elliot. "No. I wouldn't."
"Really?" He asked, pulling a file from his table, "I could go through every time your husband was put on leave for breaking a rule. In some cases...breaking bones. He was once accused of murdering a suspect."
"My husband is a good cop. He does what he needs to do to ensure we catch a perp. He's never harmed an innocent civilian and never would. The murder charges were dropped upon further investivation." She said, interrupting him quickly.
"And after you willingly put your badge on the line to try and clear his name." He raised an eyebrow, "Was this before or after you became more than just work partners."
"Before. And yes. I did fight for his job because I knew he was innocent. I don't regret doing that and I'd do it again if I had too." She said, still never turning her eyes from him.
"Has he ever harmed you? Or one of his children? With a temper like that...I'd be worried." He said with a smug little shake of his head.
"Not that my husband is on trial...but no. He has never harmed me or any of his children and he never would. But my husband has nothing to do with this case last time I checked. So unless you have a good reason to-" She didn't move but she was glaring right at him.
"I was simply wondering if you were attracted to violent men. Maybe it's in your blood? Maybe your Mother was attracted to violent men too?" He asked.
Olivia raised an eyebrow, seeing a crack in his questions. "My husband isn't violent. And I can assure you that I am not attracted to violent men. As far as my Mother...she never dated. Being raped and not being able to get help will do that to you. She never dated your client...he attacked her. Although I have to say...admitting he is a violent man does wonders for my side's case. So thank you."
The lawyer paused, clearly taken aback by her statement, "I-"
"Counselor get on with the line of questioning...I'm still unsure why Detective Benson is even here to begin with." The judge said angrily.
Shifting, he moved to stand in front of her again, "Your Mother...Serena Benson. She was an alcoholic. She almost lost her job on more than one occasion and more than one police report was filed against her for child abuse. Against you. Is that correct?"
"Yes." Olivia said quickly, "She was an alcoholic. She started drinking AFTER your client raped her."
"And while she was pregnant with you?" He asked curiously.
"That I can't answer as I wasn't born yet…" She said with a smirk, "But I have no reason to believe she did."
"So you don't deny that your childhood was...difficult?" He asked, "Do you deny that you yourself sought legal council for an incident in which you needed to use self defense to fend off your mother from-" He looked down at the paper in his hand, "A broken wine bottle she was going to stab you with?"
"No. I don't deny that." She said, never taking her eyes off of him.
"Do you wonder what your life would have been like if you had your father in your life? Yesterday we met Sarah Larson and she aborted his child. Your sibling. Your Mother never gave him the opportunity to be in your life. Maybe your childhood would have been better." He said quickly.
Olivia smiled, still never breaking eye contact with him, "That's the funny thing about rapists...they don't usually leave a calling card with their victim in case of pregnancy. It would make my job a hell of a lot easier if they did though. If he had been in my life...I can assure you it would have been a lot worse than it was. I'm sure if he had left his name though...the NYPD would have paid him a courtesy call and then maybe we wouldn't be sitting here having this ridiculous conversation today."
"You bitch." Hollister sneered from his seat as he slammed his hand into the table repeatedly, "You stupid, worthless-"
"Counselor! Control your client." The judge yelled as Hollister's team tried to control him.
Olivia looked directly at Hollister and he looked right back at her. She could practically feel the tension from her friends and family but she wasn't about to turn away from this man now. She wanted him to look at her. She wanted him to see that she wasn't afraid. She wanted to push his buttons, make him show the court who he really was.
After a moment, the judge said clearly, "That's your first warning Mr. Hollister."
Hollister sneered, his lawyer gave him a look and then turned back to Olivia, "Mrs. Stabler…" He tugged at his coat and tried to get back on track, "It's my understanding that you are currently pregnant."
Olivia moved a hand to her belly, she felt a kick again urging her on. "Yes. Eight months."
"With your first?" She nodded, "Your husband's sixth of course...first with you." He paused, looked at Elliot and then back at her, "Don't you worry about what you are passing onto your child? An alcoholic Grandmother and a rapist Grandfather?"
Olivia leaned forward, feeling the last bit of control Hollister and his team had left beginning to fly away, "So you admit your client is a rapist? Really? You sure you work for the defense Counselor?"
Hollister growled again and slammed his hand harder against the table making it shake. "Mr. Hollister! One more outburst and you will be removed from this courtroom immediately! We will be forced to end for the day and start this all again tomorrow."
Hollister brushed off his team, shifted in his seat and looked down at the table not willing to look at Olivia. She kept her eyes on him for a moment, then turned back to his lawyer who looked shell shocked and unsure of where to go.
"Do you still want me to answer your question?" She asked casually, he nodded weakly, "I worry as every parent worries when bringing a child into this world. But I do not worry about who this child will be because I know it was brought into this world based on something real. It was intended, not a mistake, not created by violence. I want this child and I will raise him or her to be a good person. Someday they will have questions that I will answer with my husband. DNA plays a part in who we are...but not the biggest or strongest part."
"And how are you so sure about that?" He asked softly, hoping to catch her off guard.
Unfortunately for him, he didn't know Olivia Benson. Without missing a beat she smiled and answered simply, "Because if who we are was only based off of DNA passed down...I would have found and murdered your client a long time ago."
Her words barely had time to settle before a loud crash sounded from the defense table. Hollister was on his feet, he had thrown the table over and was practically foaming at the mouth, "You want to kill me?! I'd like to see you try! I'll kill you! I'll kill you and that baby of yours just like I should have killed your slut of a Mother! I'LL KILL YOU!"
Olivia never took her eyes off of him, her hand was laying protectively over her belly. She knew he couldn't hurt her. She knew he was proving her point. She also knew that her husband and her friends were probably starting to freak out. Hollister was dragged from the court by more than one officer and she vaguely heard the Judge call for a recess until the morning. She wanted to feel frustrated that she would need to come back to the stand tomorrow but she felt...proud.
Stepping down from the stand, Casey was at her side in a matter of seconds, "Are you okay?"
Olivia looked right at her and smiled honestly, "I'm great."
"Olivia!" Elliot called frantically from behind them.
Olivia walked past Casey and over to him, "El I'm fine-"
He pulled her into his arms, she could feel his heart pounding in his chest, "I want-"
"I know." She said squeezing him, she pulled back slightly, "But you won't." He was tense, very tense. So she took his hand and placed it over her belly and felt the baby kick again, "Right?"
He jaw clenched and unclenched, "Liv you were incredible but I-"
"I know." She said again, "I know Elliot...but he acted exactly like I expected. Exactly like I wanted him to."
Cragen sighed, and his eyes were red with fury. "Those questions were...ridiculous. There was no point to it."
Olivia rolled her eyes, "He got a shit lawyer...not my problem."
"You good baby girl?" Fin asked frantically from beside her.
She smiled gently, "Honestly? I feel great." She laughed, "I'd love to go another ten rounds with that idiot."
A small ripple of laughter echoed through the room, "That's our Olivia…" John said.
Olivia smiled at him and rubbed her belly, "Well...since we have to get out of here...who's hungry? Baby Stabler and I are starving! It's hard work being a badass. Take out at our place?"
Everyone nodded and they kids, Huang, Melinda and Kathy started to shuffle out of the room. Olivia smiled when she saw Elliot, John, Fin and Cragen staring at her. She turned and saw the Police Commissioner walking towards them, "Detectives." He said.
Olivia smiled, "Commissioner...I didn't realize you were here."
He nodded, "We've been following the case. I like to support my officers when I can."
Olivia smiled, "I appreciate that. Thank you."
He looked at her, then back at Elliot, "After that little outburst...I'd personally like to offer you as many officers as you feel comfortable with to stand out guard at your house."
Olivia smiled at him, "That's a very kind offer...but I have a feeling that I'll be the most protected woman in the city tonight. You can save our taxpayer dollars for someone else in need."
He gave her a look and then looked at the four men standing beside her, "Oh?"
"Yeah. I don't have to even ask because I already know the answer...but four of New York's finest will no doubt insist at sleeping at my house tonight. One lives there already...the other three are just stubborn as all hell." She shrugged, "They'll have to fight my stepchildren for the beds though…"
He smiled at her, "That's good to hear...although your house will be protected by five of New York's best."
She gave him a look and then blushed when his smile widened, "Oh. Well...thank you."
"If you need anything...call my office." He gave them all a quick nod then turned to walk away.
She turned back to the four men standing in front of her and smiled, "Ready to go?"
"How'd you know we would insist on staying at your house tonight?" John asked.
Olivia rolled her eyes playfully, "Because you four are so predictable...I'm not even going to try to argue the matter. But I wasn't kidding...the kids have their rooms. And the guest room is already set up as the nursery so you can duke it out over the couches and I think maybe we have an air mattress in the basement. But if one of you idiots who aren't my husband even tries to come into my room I'm kicking your ass. And don't let the pregnant belly fool you...I can still take you."
Fin laughed in awe of her, "Girl...you just literally crushed Hollister's soul with your words alone. None of us are stupid enough to get in the way of your fists."
She smiled and nodded, "Smart men…" She paused and then took a deep breath, "And just in case I forget to say it later...thanks for caring enough to be willing to stay."
Don stepped up to her and put his hand on her shoulder, "We've got you Liv. Not that you need it...you just proved you can take care of yourself. But you don't have too."
Olivia looked back at her husband and saw that he was still as tense as she had ever seen him. Turning back to Fin, he seemed to read her mind. "Well grab the food. I got a key to the house. Take your time."
"Thanks." She said, giving him a little nod as she watched him walk away with John and Cragen.
Casey walked up behind them and said, "I'm not sure he'll try to question you again tomorrow after that performance. But...do you still want me to walk you through our plan?"
Olivia nodded, "Yes." Elliot groaned beside her and she sighed, "You coming over for something to eat?"
Casey nodded, "Yeah. I'll check in here and then head over. You good?"
Olivia nodded, "Yeah. We're good. Thanks Casey."
Casey gave Elliot one last look, then walked past her friends and out into the lobby. Olivia waited as Elliot clearly needed a moment to compose himself. She could see the vein in his forehead, practically hear his jaw clicking, his teeth grinding. His lip was sucked in and out of his mouth, she noticed one of his hands was shaking.
"Let's take the long way home." He looked at her and she smiled, "I'll drive."
Elliot turned and looked at the table that was still upturned, "He threatened to kill you and our unborn child Liv."
She walked up to him, pressed a hand into his chest and nodded, "I know. But he can't hurt us El. He pretty much just sealed his fate today...tomorrow is just a formality. It's more for me and my Mother than it is him. I need you to breathe…"
He turned his eyes from the table and he looked at her, practically begging her, "Give me five minutes with him."
She smirked, "You know I love you too much to let that happen." Reaching out, she tugged at his tie, "Trust me Stabler. Okay?"
His eyes roamed her face, the face he could see clearly with his eyes closed. He wanted to pull her to him, hold her until he took his last breath. He never wanted her out of her sight again. He'd be happy to sew her body onto his to ensure she couldn't get away. He knew she could protect herself...she'd just proved it and damn he was proud of her. But he didn't want her to have too. He wanted her safe. He NEEDED her safe. She was his world and sometimes he didn't think she realized it.
"I'll drive." He whispered, she gave him a look and he nodded towards her bump, "More comfortable for you and baby. Where to?"
"You know where." She said softly, she saw his demeanor change, soften slightly and he nodded.
Slipping his hand into hers, they walked together out of the courtroom.
Thirty minutes later they were parked in their favorite spot overlooking the Hudson. After many a bad case they'd come and sit here. Sometimes neither of them spoke. Sometimes they talked about the case. Sometimes they talked about anything and everything else. When they became a couple...Elliot had taken her here after their first official date.
Elliot turned his head and smiled when he saw her smiling, "What?"
She looked at him and wrinkled her nose, "Remember our first official date?"
Elliot laughed, "Of course I do. I was a nervous wreck and you wouldn't let me do all the things a boyfriend was supposed to do."
She scoffed and slapped him, "Well we had known each other for eight years! How was I supposed to know that once we kissed a switch turned off in you from work friend to boyfriend?"
He rolled his eyes, "Because that's what people who are dating are supposed to do."
She turned as best she could in her state and sighed, "As I said then...it was all new to me. But you agreed to be patient with me." She smirked, "And boy were you patient...very, very patient."
He smiled softly and whispered, "I told you that night it would be worth it and I was right. It's all been worth it."
Elliot Stabler parked outside Olivia's apartment and took a deep breath. He'd picked her up a million times before. But not like this...his heart was hammering away in his chest and he wasn't completely sure he wasn't having a heart attack. It had been a few days since he had kissed her outside the precinct. They both had a lot to figure out but he insisted on taking her on a real date despite the fact that she said it wasn't necessary.
He however, wasn't taking no for an answer. He wanted to wine and dine her, show her all the things she'd never been given mostly because she didn't think she deserved them. He wanted to sweep her off her feet. Prove that she did deserve and most importantly prove that he did love her.
When he finally summoned up the courage to open the car door, he stepped out only to see Olivia walking towards him. She looked gorgeous as usual. His heart started pounding in his chest again and before he could stop him he asked, "What are you doing?"
She stopped short, about a foot away from his car, "Um...getting in the car?"
He frowned and looked up at her building, "But I-" He pointed towards the building, "I was going to come and get you."
She frowned and shrugged her shoulders, "Why? You never do that."
He sighed, walked around the car to be in front of her, "First of all, sometimes I do. Second...this is different. I'm not picking you up for work. I'm picking you up for dinner. I'm supposed to come to the door, bring you flowers, walk you to the car and hold the door for you."
She furrowed her brow, "You've known me for eight years. You don't need to do those things. Besides, I don't see any flowers." She teased trying to lighten the mood and keep the pounding in her chest under control.
He smirked, turned and opened the back door to the car and pulled out a bouquet of sunflowers, her favorite, "Apparently you don't know me as well as you think Benson."
She sucked in her stomach and whispered, "But you know me…"
Elliot nodded slowly, "Look I know this is…" He smiled and shrugged, "A little weird. Not in a bad way...just different. For both of us. It's going to take some getting used to but I really want-" He paused again and whispered, "I want to do this right Liv. This isn't a fling for me. I need you to understand that I'm serious about this. About us. That I want to take care of you."
When he finished talking, he saw the way she was looking at him with wide eyes and a look of pure terror on his face. She didn't move. Didn't speak and he sighed, he had pushed too hard too soon. Yes he had made his intentions clear and yes she had reciprocated those feelings. But...she had her running shoes on and wasn't afraid to use them.
"Sorry…" He whispered, "I mean I'm not sorry I said those things because I mean them. But I'm sorry I totally just freaked you out."
"I'm not freaked out." She said but her voice cracked, he narrowed his eyes at her and she laughed, "Okay yes...I'm freaked out. Totally and completely freaked out." She saw him sigh again and she quickly reached for him, "But I-" Her eyes looked down to the arm she was holding and she could feel the warmth of him under her touch, "I want this too El...I just...I'm going to need you to be patient with me. I'm not-" She scrunched up her nose, "I'm not good at this stuff."
He took a step towards her and smiled, "Despite what you may see at work...I can be patient when I want to be. When I know the result will be worth it." He tipped her chin up and he saw her swallow hard, "And you're worth it."
Sucking in her lower hip, she looked down at the flowers in her hands, "Want me to go upstairs and we can have a redo?"
He smiled and chuckled before shaking his head, "Nah...but I do expect you to let me make it to the door next time. Or even into the building, okay?"
"Okay." She reached for the flowers and smiled, "They're beautiful by the way. Thank you."
He leaned in, kissed her cheek and gave her a wink, "You're welcome." When he pulled back, he went to reach for the door handle just as she did the same and they bumped heads, "Olivia…"
She heard the laughter in his voice and she smiled sheepishly at him, "Sorry. Making a mental note about the car door thing too…" She put a finger to her head and smiled, "Let him pick you up in the apartment and let him open the door for you. See? Locked and loaded in there my friend."
He raised an eyebrow at her, "Friend?"
She rolled her eyes and climbed in, "Don't start Stabler…"
"You were very, very patient with me through many things. And I appreciated it more than you could know...I needed that to let you all the way in. But I did eventually, right?" She asked.
Reaching for her hand, he ran circles into her palm, "Right…"
"Then I need you to have a little patience right now." He frowned and she tugged at his hand, "This sucks El. I won't pretend it doesn't. But I know what I'm doing. I played into his hand today because I knew he'd snap. I wanted that to happen."
He glanced up at her and whispered, "Those things he said about me-"
"Were crap." She said squeezing his hand in hers, "They were crap and you know it El. It had nothing to do with the case. There was no reason to ask me any of it. He was just trying to rile me up but I'm not going to give them that satisfaction."
He looked down at their joined hands, "I've gone off the handle many, many times Liv."
"So haven't we all." She whispered, "Especially the people who see the things we see. But you, Elliot Stabler, are NOT a bad man. You are NOT a violent man. You are the best man that I know. I wouldn't have married you if I thought you were capable of hurting me or your children...you know more than anyone I wouldn't put up with that. I'd be gone in a second. But I've never worried about that with you and never will."
Taking a deep breath he turned to look at her, "I love you."
"I know." She whispered, "And I love you. I also know that as hard as today was for me...it was also hard for you. I would have felt the same way if the roles were reversed. Yes he threatened me. Yes he threatened our child...but he's going to get what he deserves El. I know it. Today proved that. And once he's gone...he can't hurt us anymore. My Mother said in this letter to walk away...and that's what we're going to do. Together. Okay?"
"Together…" He said with a little nod, then he looked back at the river, "You sure I can't just sneak into the jail and-"
"Elliot…" She said laughing as she tugged his arm more, "You know you can't."
"Fine. But I can picture it." He said pointing at his head, "I'm envisioning it right now. Fucking prick.
"I love you. Now take us home." She said leaning up to kiss his cheek, "Baby is hungry and Momma needs a little family time before tomorrow."
Elliot reached out to start the car again and whispered, "My wife is a freaking badass." She gave him a look as he started to pull out, "You didn't even sweat. Didn't blink half the time. You crushed that lawyer and Hollister. As angry as I was…" He looked back at her as they started to drive, "That was the bravest thing I've ever seen."
She gave him a little wink, "I learned to be brave from the best."
He shook his head as they pulled up to the first traffic light, "You were brave way before you met me Liv."
She shrugged, "Maybe...but you make me stronger El. And so does this little peanut…" She laughed to herself, "She was kicking like crazy the whole time."
"Probably trying to kick Hollister's ass from inside the womb. That's my girl…" He said with a smirk, "Both my girls…"
She pulled his hand into her lap and felt relief wash over her. Day one was done...tomorrow she would be one step closer to the end.
Back at the house, they were all out in the yard. They had a long picnic table in the back and Elliot and Fin had carried out the dining room table from inside too to accommodate all the kids and all their friends. There were boxes of food, drinks flowing and lots of laughter despite the difficult and intense day.
Eli was sitting on the edge of the table playing a game with Olivia. They were both laughing. Elliot couldn't take his eyes off of them, still in awe of her strength.
Eli huffed, "You're cheating Livvie!"
"I am not!" Olivia said with a laugh, "Just having good luck today."
"I love you little dude...but Olivia's on fire today. She should seriously go get a Powerball ticket. After that performance today...there's no doubt she's got luck on her side." Munch said.
Richie smirked, "If you win the powerball...can I get a new car?"
Olivia smiled, "No. But you can borrow your brother's police car."
"I could barely fit a foot in there." He said with a huff, "I bet if Eli asked for a car! You'd get him one. We know he's your favorite."
Olivia scoffed, "I do not have favorites out of you five! I love you equally."
Kathy smirked, "I have favorite's. Sometimes it changes depending on the day...but I have favorites." She teased.
Richie glared at her, "Trust me...we know."
"If Eli is Olivia's favorite it makes sense...she is his Godmother." Lizzie said with a shrug, "But I'm obviously number 2. Maureen would be 3. You two are the ones that cause all the trouble."
"I do not have favorites!" Olviia yelled again and everyone continued laughing, "Never have and never will."
"Richie if Olivia didn't love you...she would have blown your cover years ago." Maureen said with a smirk.
All eyes turned to the oldest Stabler sibling, "Mo!" Richie yelled frustratedly.
"What is she talking about?" Elliot asked, "Blow your cover about what? What did you do?" He turned to Olivia, "What did he do?"
Olivia shook her head, a small smile growing on her lips, "Nothing. I have no idea what Maureen is talking about."
"See...she's still trying to cover for you." Kathleen said with a laugh, "Mo is right. Why Olivia has made us keep that secret for years is beyond me...I can't even imagine what you cost her that day."
"Cost?" Kathy asid quickly, "What the hell are they talking about? What did you do Richard Stabler?"
"Mom said a bad word…" Eli said, leaning into his Stepmother.
Olivai nodded, "She did...but we're going to let this one slide, okay?" Kathy and Elliot looked at her expectantly and she sighed looking at Richie, "I'd like to point out that I was not the one who blew your cover. So you can't get mad at me."
Richie hung his head, "Might as well kiss my social life goodbye...definitely no car. Dad might actually kill me."
"What did he do?" Kathy and Elliot yelled again, cutting him off.
Olivia sighed, "Uh...remember that time I offered to babysit the kids? They came to my apartment...I spent the day with them."
Elliot nodded, "Yeah...the twins were like five. Mo and Kathleen were older. You insisted and you wouldn't even let us pay you."
She rolled her eyes, "I wasn't a teenage babysitter. I was your partner and friend. I didn't mind and we...had a goodish day."
"You said everything went fine!" Kathy said quickly, "What didn't you tell us?"
"Wait…" Elliot whispered softly, "You ended up moving like two weeks after that. I never understood why because you loved that apartment building. You had been waiting to get into it for almost a year…" He glared at his son, "What the hell did you do?"
Richie scrunched up his nose, "I sorta...broke the water filtration system in the Pool. And then I may or may not have started a small fire."
"You what?" Elliot asked as everyone around the table started laughing.
Olivia smirked, "He took his clothes and shoved it in the filtration system and it backed everything up...and then it started a fire. It wasn't pretty...but no one got hurt so that was the most important thing."
Elliot leaned forward and whacked Richie upside the head, "Are you insane?"
He shrugged, "I wanted to see what would happen! I just figured it would mess with the water a bit. I was just a kid!"
Kathy rubbed the back of her neck, "I can't believe you didn't tell us."
Kathleen was laughing, "Richie was so freaked out...he then peed in the pool which only made it worse. He was terrified Dad was going to kill him and he cried and cried and Olivia made us promise to never say anything."
Elliot looked at Olivia, "Why didn't you tell us?"
She knew he wasn't angry, "Because he was just a kid...and he was terrified. It was an accident and it wasn't that big of a deal."
"Wasn't that big of a deal?" Maureen asked, "Olivia you lost your apartment. And...you had to pay the damages."
Elliot hung his head, "How much?" She mumbled something under her breath and he leaned in, "What did you just say?"
She looked at Richie whose eyes were wide, "Somewhere around 4,000…"
"4,000?" Kathy and Elliot yelled in unison as everyone else continued to laugh.
Olivia sighed, "It was a long time ago...it's all good. I promise."
Elliot huffed, "That's why you moved into that crap building and refused to go out with all of us each time we tried to get food. You were broke."
She shrugged and pulled Eli into her lap, "It's in the past! Let's drop it."
"You have to let us pay you back." Kathy said with a frown, "Olivia that's insane-"
"Well...considering I'm now married to Elliot let's just let it go." She said with a laugh, "If he tries to pay me back it will be weird. You too."
"Why did you guys leave us with her anyway? Where was our usual babysitter?" Richie asked with a huff, "Or better yet why did you leave us at all? What was so important?"
Kathy frowned and looked at Elliot, "I honestly don't remember…"
Elliot thought for a moment and then shrugged, "I don't either." All eyes turned back to Olivia and her cheeks flushed, "Clearly you remember…"
She cleared her throat and mumbled something, Kathy gave her a look and she sighed, "You guys were going to Marriage Counseling...clearly worked out real well."
The yard was quiet for a moment and then Kathy started laughing. Once she did, everyone followed and Olivia smiled at her, "Man...we're a weird family."
Olivia smiled, "I'm sure Hollister's lawyer would love to pick your brain. And I'm sorry if-"
Kathy shook her head, "Don't even! We've been over this...you have nothing to apologize for. Besides, everything ended up the way it was supposed to and we're all happy."
Olivia swallowed hard, "Thank you Kathy…"
Elliot sighed and looked at his son, "You do realize you are now going to be required to babysit your new sibling and Eli for free whenever I ask you too. No questions asked."
Richie huffed, "Oh come on Dad...it was years ago!"
"Dad, you really want to trust your baby and Eli to Richie?" Lizzie said with a frown.
Elliot smirked, "He'll never do anything to put his siblings in danger because then he knows I'd kill him. Isn't that right Richard?"
Richie rolled his eyes, "God I hope it's a boy...the girls threw me under the bus."
"That's right! As a brother I'm a good sibling! I didn't tell Daddy about how you were the one that broke the garage door last summer! I kept that secret!" Eli said proudly.
"Dude!" Richie yelled as everyone started to laugh again, "I'm emancipating myself….this family hates me."
Elliot jumped up as Richie went to leave the table and he playfully started to tackle him, "If I didn't love you I'd ground you for the rest of your life. You're a pain in my ass but you're not getting out of this crazy family."
"Sorry Richie!" Eli said, "At least I didn't-"
Olivia put her hand over Eli's mouth and chuckled, "Little man...I think we've tortured your poor brother enough for one day. Okay?"
Eli pulled her hand away, "Okay...but can I say one more thing?"
"As long as it's not about Richie yes." She said with a chuckle, he nodded, "What's up buddy?"
Eli smiled, "I know I didn't get to go today...but I heard Uncle Fin said you kicked some serious a-"
Olivia put her hand over his mouth again, "Just saving you from the swear jar buddy."
Everyone laughed again and Eli smiled, "Okay. But...does that mean you put the bad guy away? Your Dad? He can't hurt you anymore?"
The table got quiet again and Olivia fidgeted, "Well...I have to go back tomorrow. But it's almost over Eli. I promise."
Eli looked back at his Mom, "Is what Uncle Fin said true?"
Kathy sat up a little straighter, "Very true buddy. I've never seen anyone be that strong. You're very lucky to have Olivia in your life. We all are."
Olivia shifted and frowned, "You all realize I'm pregnant right?" They gave her a look, "Are you actually trying to kill me?"
Elliot laughed, nudged Richie back into his spot and then sat beside his wife again, "Liv…"
She licked her lips and felt the tears brimming there, "No seriously...once I start crying I won't be able to stop. You'll be building an arc…"
Eli smiled, "Are you sad Livvie?"
"No buddy...I'm not sad I'm-" She paused and then let her eyes roam the table, "I'm just very grateful. That's all."
"Oh." He looked down at her belly and felt movement, "What was that?"
She smiled and put a hand over her belly, "That was your sibling...just saying hi."
Eli smiled, "Hey." He touched her belly, "He or she will probably be your favorite out of the six of us."
Olivia sighed, pulled in closer and then looked at the four older children, "Nope. No favorites. I am not your birth Mother but I love the five of you more than you could possibly realize. Yes, I'm going to have this baby and I can't wait. But this baby will be just as important to me as you five. No ifs ands or buts about it. You need me? I'm there. Nothing changes when this baby comes. Not one thing. Okay?"
The four older children looked right at her and Kathleen started to sniffle, "Geez...I'm not pregnant and I still can't keep the tears at bay. That was good Liv…"
Olivia kissed Eli's cheek, "Just speaking the truth. You five stole my heart heart years ago. Way before your Dad did. If I have a favorite...it's you five above him. Just...don't rub it in his face too much."
They laughed again and Elliot rolled his eyes, "Casey...know any good Divorce Lawyers?"
Olivia smacked him, "You hush."
Kathy took a deep breath, "Well it's been a long day...and tomorrow will be too. I think it's time I head home. But I'll meet you all at the courthouse. You guys want to want me out to the car?"
"Sure Mom." Kathleen said, "Especially because you're definitely going to rip Richie apart the whole way."
The kids got up and Eli hopped from Olivia's lap. Kathy and Olivia locked eyes for a moment and nothing needed to be said. They both understood what the other was saying. Once they were gone, Cragen looked at Elliot and smiled, "You're one lucky son of a bitch. Did you know that?"
Elliot smirked and wrapped an arm around Olivia, "Trust me, I'm very, very aware. I live in a constant state of panic thinking I'll blink and it will all come crashing down."
Olivia looked down at her belly and began to rub it absentmindedly. She was vaguely aware of her friends laughing about the conversations that they had had tonight. She focussed on her belly, feeling her child move, kick and flip letting her presence known. The emotions of the day began to fill her and she felt her eyes burning.
"Hey…" Elliot whispered as he leaned into her, "You okay?"
She looked up and nodded, she looked at her friends who were staring at her expectantly, "I need to say something and I'm only going to say it once. Okay? Then we can go back to busting each other's balls and getting on each other's nerves. But I need to say this…"
Cragen leaned back in his chair, "We're listening…"
Olivia looked up and sniffled, "When I joined SVU I had no clue what I was getting myself into. I told myself that it was just a job. That it didn't mean anything...I expected to be treated like shit especially because I was a woman but." She paused, "Aside from a few annoying macho remarks…" She smirked, "You all treated me with respect and let me do what I need to do to get the job done."
"To be fair...you're better at your job than any of us." Munch said with a smirk, "We kept you around because without you we sucked."
Olivia rolled her eyes as they laughed, "Uh huh...I'm sure that's it." She paused then continued, "I...came to SVU totally on my own. My Mom was alive and I love her...but she wasn't a family. She was just...there. I spent a long time pretending that I didn't have one. But the truth is...you all became my family the day I joined the squad. And even though you all drive me completely insane...I love you guys. If I had had to do what I did today without all of you...if I had to do it way before I met you...it wouldn't have gone the way it did. So while I appreciate you telling me I was strong...I was only strong because my family was there to support me."
Casey didn't try to hide her tears and the men all shifted in their seats, "You crying?" Fin mumbled to Munch.
Munch looked away, "No…" He looked back at him, blinking, "But you are."
"I just got something in my eye man." Fin said, shaking his head, not looking up.
Elliot wrapped his arm around his wife and pressed a kiss to her head, "I'm not even going to pretend I'm not."
Cragen cleared his throat, "Me either…"
Olivia laughed, "Didn't want to be the only one crying…"
Fin looked back at her, "Family has each other's back. We got yours just like you've always had ours. Even when we didn't deserve it. What you did today was hella impressive and I'm so proud to call you my partner and my sister. That kid in there…" He said pointing to her belly, "Is damn lucky. He or she is about to hit the Mom jackpot."
"Thank you Fin…" She said with a little smile, "He or she hit the Godfather jackpot too."
Fin's eyes widened, "What?"
"Of course you have to share that responsibility…" She said looking at Munch, "Seeing as we couldn't pick between you two."
"Both of us?" Munch asked softly, "Really? I thought Fin was your favorite."
She rolled her eyes, "Like with Elliot's kids...I don't have favorites." She paused, "Well no I take that back...Cragen is my favorite. But that's a given."
Elliot playfully huffed beside her, "How am I not the favorite?"
Olivia smiled and shrugged, "He doesn't give me half the trouble you do…"
Elliot turned to Casey, "About that Divorce Lawyer-"
Olivia pinched him and he jumped, "You leave...I follow with my gun. We made that agreement years ago."
"Damn." He said rubbing his arm, "I must have been under duress when I agreed to that."
"Please…" Casey said with an eyeroll, "By the time I joined this dysfunctional family I knew you were madly in love with her. She could literally do no wrong in your eyes. It's sickening."
"That's true. She's perfect." Elliot said with a smile, "And she's all mine."
"I think that's our cue to sort our sleeping arrangements out." Munch said, "I call the big couch!"
Casey said her goodnights and then the men wandered inside to figure out where they were sleeping. Olivia glanced up and could see the kids coming back inside, the girls were still teasing Richie. She smiled, rubbed her belly again and then glanced at her husband who was staring right at her.
"I can't believe you never told me he did that…" He said with a little laugh, "$4,000 dollars? And you had to move?"
She sighed and shook her head, "Knew you weren't going to let this one go…"
"How do you do it?" He asked softly, "Seriously...how do you do it?" She fidgeted in her seat, "Even before we got together...you put my kids first. Put me first. Hell you put Kathy first!"
She blushed, "They're good kids...they always have been. Plus I was worried if you found out...you guys would never trust me to take care of them again. I liked spending time with them. Made me feel like I was part of your family."
Elliot smiled, leaned in and whispered. "You were always part of this family Liv. The kids used to beg to spend time with you. Kathy and I didn't want to burden you...and if I'm being honest, seeing you with them was hard." She gave him a look and he shrugged, "I knew I wanted you long before we got together Liv. It was complicated…"
She smiled softly and reached for him, "It's always been complicated babe...it's a wonder Kathy didn't claw my damn eyes out."
He smiled, "She liked you more than me...so it was an easy transition for everyone." He sighed and then rested against the back of his chair, "We love you and you're stuck with us."
"Good." She said gently, she rubbed her belly again, "How much longer do you think until this one shows her face?"
Elliot smiled, leaned down and pressed a kiss to her belly, "If she's anything like her Mother she's going to show her face when I least expect it. Come in bold, strong and powerful and flip my world upside down."
She touched his head as he pulled away, "In a good way?"
"The best way." He whispered, leaning forward to kiss her, he looked past her, "We should probably get in there and settle down the crazies."
She sighed softly, "They could have gone home…"
"No. They couldn't. They're right where they want to be." He stood up and held his hand out, "You may be the biggest badass in town Liv...but the rest of us like to pretend you actually need us."
She let him pull her up and she rolled her eyes, "You know I need you all. I think I mentioned that tonight."
He looped his arm around her shoulder and they started to walk towards the house, "One more day and the hardest part will be over."
She squeezed his side and ducked her head under his chin so he could kiss the crown of her head, "I can't wait."
I will update as soon as I can. Next chapter, Olivia will share her final thoughts on Hollister in Court. Will she have the strength to face Hollister when she has to read her Mother's words? And what will happen once the case is over.