W: For whatever reason, you suddenly gain godlike powers of control over the universe. What's the first thing you do?
D: I straight up get rid of carbon.
W: Carbon, the chemical element upon which all lifeforms are based?
D: That's the bitch
W: well mood
W: I have a very annoying neighbor, can someone teach me trumpet?
D: That's the best part! You don't have to learn to play the trumpet to annoy them. Just try your best and have fun!
W: oh wow you are so right!
D: "You are what you eat," said the Blue Fairy unwisely.
D: Pinocchio turned sly eyes upon the elementary school
W: Do you take constructive criticism
D: No
W: I eat a lot of bread because it's soft and I deserve it
W: Also I'm gorgeous
D: Why is my hand shaky
W: Your skeleton is ready to hatch
D: this is so freaking ominous thank you
W: Older forms of English kept Latin's gender-specific suffixes '-tor and -trix'
W: tor is for men and trix is for women.
W: So a male pilot is an aviator, a female pilot an aviatrix. A make fighter is a gladiator, a female fighter is a gladiatrix.
W: This contrasts with the modern system, where tor is for both men and women, and trix are for kids
D: HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME READ THAT WITH MY OWN EYES
W: *sexually strokes wall until finds light switch*
D: what a turn on
W: Remind me again the definition of a will?
D: Thats easy, it's a dead giveaway
W: Instead of being deathly afraid of them, you should treat spiders the way you want to be treated
D: Killed without hesitation
W: no
W: You've heard of Murphy's law right?
D: Yes
W: It states that anything that can go wrong will go wrong, but have you heard of Cole's law?
D: No…
W: It's thinly sliced cabbage
D: I am blocking you
D: Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it, let's do it
D: Let's go hurdling straight into a glass door and die
D: What if I pronounce headache like mustache
D: And mustache like apache
W: Again, do you take constructive criticism
D: depends, do you take a boot to the head
W: I do, can I criticize you
D: no I just wanted to see if you'd do it
D: So I was thinking
D: And it really messes me up that you can accidentally create a human life but you can't accidentally make a pizza
W: What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature?
W: Tequila Mockingbird
D: When you tryin be cheesy but everyone around you is laughtose intolerant
W: bruh
D: The only acceptable icing is buttercream. Whipped icing is a cowards choice and fondant people are demons and gotta meet me in the street for their poor life choices that led them to accept play doh as acceptable cake decoration
W: Turn on your location so we can talk
D: Hope you understand sign language then cause all you're gonna be seeing is hands
W: Poor old granny scorpion shoes. No one ever saw her death coming.
D: It was pneumonia.
W: Yes, her pet scorpion pneumonia, who lived in her shoe. tragic.
D: He shot her point blank.
R: This reads like a Monty Python Sketch
R: Your Tumblr culture is awful and you need to keep it away from me. 'Mr. Sandman' came on and without thinking I sang 'man me a sand'
D: Make him the cutest car door man hook hand
W: Mister Sandman bring me some sand make it the sandiest I've held in my hand…
R: I hate you both so much
Well I am loving Young Justice Season 3 to death but all the throwback is making me so nostalgic for the old team in season 1, ugh someone hold me *cries*
Also, Superman saying 'stay whelmed' totally killed me XD