D: Heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you'll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter.

W: … there are no words

W: Honestly the best part of my day is when you start a sentence with 'evaded arrest'

D: You make it sound like it's a common occurrence

W: Is it not?

W: Miss me with that 'weapon accuracy' shit. I'm shooting everything. I'm laying down cover fire. I'm shooting the walls. I'm shooting my teammates. I'm shooting myself. My accuracy is 100% y'all just don't know what I'm aiming at

D: Yeah, no archery for you today.

W: Preferred method of transportation?

D: Carried by servants.

W: I read that capsaicin makes your mouth feel like its burning because it increases your nerve sensitivity to heat, and menthol works my doing the same thing to cold

W: So if I eat a habanero pepper and then chew a bunch of breath mints they should cancel each other out and I'll be fine

W: Hey guess what hellfire tastes like

D: Dude. The nerve endings for 'ouch too hot' and 'ouch too cold' are different, which means that they can both be activated at once without canceling out. RIP

D: God is real but you can only see him on Tuesdays behind the 7/11 at 3:34 am after you down six and a half 5 hour energy drinks

W: prohibited knowledge

D: Furthermore, self care is slathering yourself in baby oil and sliding down the 7th lane in your local bowling alley so the mechanical pin setter will pick you up and take you to the forbidden place behind the bowling lanes where you can meet God but again only on Tuesdays

W: It's hilarious and awesome that we invented telephones, used them for a hundred years, and then collectively decided they were awkward and stressful and we just want to send very fast letters instead

D: It's true tho

D: Pupils dilate when multiplying two-digit numbers

W: sexual thrill

D: No

D: How's the visit with the country relatives going

W: The chickens keep finding the cicadas and let me tell you. There's nothing quite as disturbing as watching a chicken beat a screaming bug on the ground and then swallow it whole.

W: Sometimes the cicadas are still alive when they're eaten but do the chickens care?

D: No?

W: no.

W: How do Japanese Chihuahuas say hello

D: idk

W: konnichihuahua

D: dont talk to me for the rest of the day

W: yeah I deserved that

W: casual sex implies the existence of ranked competitive sex

D: Wouldn't Roy be a better person to bring this up to?

W: Why weren't you there for training today at the Cave?

D: got in a fight at school

R: Did you win?

W: Are you okay?

W: ROY.

R: Sorry. You okay?

R: And did you win?

D: a fun thing to try is call sentient objects mr. like Mr. Air Conditioner or Mr. Couch

R: "sentient"

D: sorry wrong word

W: why are you apologizing to a peasant

D: you're right, kiss my ass Roy

So right now Titans has me like *wtf*, Supernatural has got me *crying*, and I definitely suck regarding updating anything, I'm sorry; I used to have a lot more time and a lot less writer's block so yeah. Thanks for everyone who still hangs around, you are my motivation!