I couldn't make people wait any longer lol. Hopefully you don't hate me too much! Here is the update. It mirrors a real episode that happened in season 9...just with some role reversal. I bet you can guess the very one. I will update as soon as I can. The next chapter is already started.
Previously...
Olivia felt Elliot's hand reach for hers. It was over. Joseph Hollister was going away for life, however long that was, Olivia didn't care. She was just glad to see this nightmare end. He squeezed her hand hard and she looked over at him. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead before they both stood up.
Casey turned and smiled at Olivia, "You did it."
Olivia shook her head, "You're the one that tried the case Casey."
Casey smiled back, "But we wouldn't have won without your statements. You sealed his fate and I know your Mom is so proud of you."
Olivia felt the tears burn in her eyes, "Okay seriously...I'm eight months pregnant people. We need to not make me cry anymore…"
Elliot smiled and wrapped an arm around her tightly, "Come on. Let's go home."
She leaned in and took a deep breath, "Home…"
He smiled, turned her around and she saw all her friends and family watching from the door. Elliot put his hand on her lower back and they started to walk out to the main room of the court house. Hugs were shared all around and Eli walked up to Olivia as he got back to the courthouse, he tugged at her hand, "Is it over now Livvie?"
Olivia smiled and touched the top of his curly blonde head, "It's over now bud."
Eli leaned forward and hugged her around her belly, "Good. Can we go celebrate?"
Olivia smiled, "Celebrate?"
Eli nodded, "Uh huh...Grandpa Cragen says he's buying dinner for everyone."
Olivia looked up at Cragen, "Is that so?"
Cragen shrugged, "I'm damn proud of you Benson...this is something to celebrate."
She rubbed her belly affectionately, "Well baby Stabler and I could go for a bite…"
Everyone started to laugh and Cragen nodded, "Meet everyone at Monty's?"
Everyone nodded, split off to their little groups to drive. Kathy took Eli so that Olivia and Elliot could have a moment alone before dinner with everyone. Elliot was driving down the road and stopped a red light. He looked over and saw Olivia looking out the window, her hand rested on her belly and she rubbed it gently.
"You okay?" He asked, reaching out to touch her shoulder.
She turned and smiled at him, "Yeah...I'm good." He gave her a look and she smiled, "Really. I'm good...I'm just so ready to focus on the future and nothing but the future. He can't hurt us now."
Elliot leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her cheek, "No he can't."
She took a deep breath, looked down at her belly and smiled, "I'm ready El…"
He turned back to the road and saw the light turn green, "I know you are. And I can't wait to see you with our baby."
She gave him a little smile as he eased on the gas and started to drive through the light. She turned her head to look back out the window and as she did, her heart jumped in her chest. She didn't have time to react though, didn't have time to scream. And before either of them knew it...there was a crash, the car spun and everything went black…
Elliot's eyes fluttered open and he tried to comprehend where he was. His eyes adjusted to the picture in front of him. He was vaguely aware of something warm dripping from his head. Then he heard shouting, lots and lots of shouting. He sat up quickly, turned to the right and his heart dropped…
Olivia was slumped over in the seat, pinned under the dashboard and covered in blood. "Liv." He started tugging at his seatbelt furiously, "No. No. Oh God...Liv…"
He heard someone pounding on his window, "Elliot!"
He didn't turn to see who it was, he yanked his seatbelt free and reached for Olivia, "Olivia. Olivia, open your eyes baby…" She didn't move and his heart started beating faster, "Damn it! Open your eyes Olivia!"
"Elliot shield your eyes!" Someone yelled from outside the car, he turned and saw Cragen, John and Fin coming back with something to crack his window.
He leaned forward, covered Olivia's body with his and heard the glass shatter, "Liv...Liv baby...please open your eyes."
Cragen tugged at Elliot's arm, "Elliot, crawl out the window."
Elliot shrugged him off, refusing to leave Olivia's side. "She's not moving. Oh God…"
Cragen tugged again, knowing this was going to be a fight. "Elliot listen to me-"
Elliot shook his head, and pulled away harder. "Olivia...Olivia, open your eyes. Please. Please. Please. Open your eyes."
Then he heard another voice, a softer yet still urgent voice. "Elliot…"
He recognized it, he turned slowly, "Kathy…"
"Listen to me." She whispered carefully, knowing if she pushed him too hard she'd lose him, "The paramedics are on their way. You need to stabilize her. Can you do that?"
Elliot was shaking, his body was aching but he couldn't focus on that now. "Kathy…"
She reached in the window, "I know. I know Elliot. I'm going to be right here…" She looked in the back of the car, "Do you think you can get in the back?"
His hands were trembling as he tried to maneuver his large body into the back of the crushed SUV, "Be careful." Cragen called.
Elliot sat behind Olivia and tried to focus, but all he saw was blood and her still as stone body."What do I do?"
Kathy looked and saw the ambulance come, "You need to stabilize her head. Put your hands on either side of her face and try and hold it still. They will come with a brace. We need to make sure she doesn't have any neck or spine damage."
Elliot leaned over the seat and put his hands on either side of her face like Kathy had said. His hands felt so large and he was afraid he was going to hurt her more. He tried to keep them still, but they were trembling as he moved. "Liv…"
"Breathe Elliot…" Kathy whispered, "You need to breathe. She's strong…" Her eyes looked down at Olivia's lap and she swallowed hard which didn't go unnoticed by Elliot.
He frowned, afraid of the look on her face, "What? What is it?"
She bit her lip, and shook her head. "Just stay calm. Okay?"
The paramedics surrounded the car and started shouting orders. Kathy was talking to them, explaining that Olivia was pregnant. Another paramedic broke the back window by Elliot, "Does she have a pulse?"
Elliot nodded slowly, "Yes. Yes but it's faint…" As he spoke he felt Olivia begin to stir, under his touch and as happy as he was he also knew this could go wrong any second, "She's...she's waking up."
"Keep her still. We need to get some fluids into her." The paramedic said, "Keep her still."
"Liv." He whispered in her ear, "Baby can you hear me?" She groaned softly, he could see her eyes in the rearview mirror begin to flutter open, he knew more than likely she was going to panic so he tried to stay calm for both of them."Shh...shhh...I'm right here."
Olivia's eyes darted back and forth and he could see the wheels turning in her mind, suddenly she cringed and reached for her belly, "Elliot…"
He nodded slowly, he wanted to scream, wanted to curse the driver but he needed to stay right here with her. "I'm right here. You're going to be fine. Everything is going to be fine. I need you to stay still...they are getting us out of here. Okay? I'm right here."
Her muscles tightened and she gasped again, the tears soon followed, pouring down her cheeks, "Elliot...no...no…"
Elliot turned to the paramedics frantically, he felt like his heart was being smashe dinto a million pieces. "She's in pain! Please! Please hurry up!"
She groaned again, and her biggest fear erupted from her lips "Elliot...the baby...I-" She cringed again, "This can't be happening."
Elliot leaned further into her, he closed his eyes and pressed a kiss to her temple. "You stay with me Liv. You keep your eyes open. Do you hear me?"
"I can't do this." She grabbed at her belly frantically, willing time to rewind take her back to just minutes for the impact when she had felt such hope and peace. "Elliot...El the baby is coming-"
Elliot's heart dropped to his stomach. It was bad enough that they were stuck in the car. That she was injured. But if the baby came now...there was nothing they could do. He felt like he was going to be sick and suddenly he turned and saw Kathy leaning in the broken glass, "Olivia hang on." She whispered not even flinching as the glass ripped at her arms.
Olivia peeked at Kathy out of the corner of her eyes, shock and confusion mirrored in her face, "Kathy...I can't-"
"You can. And you will." Kathy said, reaching for her hand, she squeezed gently not wanting to hurt her. "We're getting you out of here. You didn't come this far for anything to end like this." She smiled, "I had five of my own, remember? I'm helping you through this. Elliot and I are right here."
The paramedic handed Kathy the IV bag and needle, "You know what to do?"
Kathy nodded, "I got this." She reached for Olivia's arm and slowly rolled up her sleeve. "Liv you're going to feel a pinch. But this is going to help. I promise."
Elliot turned to the fire department and didn't care that he could hear the begging in his voice. "Get us out of here."
They nodded quickly and said, "We need to take the top off." He reached for a coat, "Once the IV is in, put this over all of you to protect from the glass."
Elliot turned to Kathy, she looked hard at him and Olivia couldn't look at either of them. The emotions in the car felt like they were going to drown them all. Despite the situation, they were all thinking hard. Somehow they all knew that all three of them were thinking about the same thing…
A year before the Gitano case and before Kathy had fully left Elliot to decide to separate...things were in a weird space. For all of them. Elliot threw himself into work. He felt detached from his home life. His kids were everything but he felt a rift between him and his wife brewing. He wanted to pretend it was all okay...wanted to pretend he was making it up but he knew he wasn't.
And when he was at work...despite the difficult cases he felt happy. And the reason for that happiness...was how connected he felt to his partner. The only problem was that lately it felt that as he got closer, she was trying her damndest to pull away. He had worked so hard to break down her walls of trust but it seemed they were backtracking. He was confused. Very confused. In more ways than one…
One afternoon, they were leaving the courthouse after finishing a particularly long case. It was summer, the AC in the Navigator had stopped working weeks ago and with their schedule there was no time to get it fixed. Their windows were down but there was no air coming in as they were stuck on the bridge in bumper to bumper traffic.
Elliot groaned and gripped the steering wheel, he could feel the sweat under his hands against the rubber, "Is it possible to die from sweating too much?"
Olivia laughed and tried to lean a little out the window, "I think we might find out soon."
Elliot sighed and looked over her, he swallowed hard as he watched her. She was holding her hair back off her neck, a bead of sweat began to roll down her neck, her throat and was about to fall down towards the crevice between her breasts. He swallowed hard, looked away and had to shift in his seat to shake the images of him following that bead of sweat with his tongue.
She could feel him moving around beside her, turning to him she frowned, "Are you okay?"
Clearing his throat, he gripped the steering wheel harder, "Uh...yeah. Sorry. Just...hot."
She nodded slowly, knowing better than to push him, "Okay…" She looked out the window again, craning her neck, "Looks like there is some movement up ahead. Maybe we'll be out of here soon."
As much as he wanted to cool off, he also realized they were driving to her apartment so he could drop her off. And they were both supposed to have the day off tomorrow. He should want to spend the day at home...but lately any day away from Olivia was a bad day. As Olivia predicted, the traffic began to move ahead and they were once again moving.
A slight breeze began to come in through the window and he heard Olivia sigh in contentment, "Breeze is good...very good."
He smiled, "It does feel good…"
Olivia threw him one of those smiles that made him weak in the knees, then turned her head to look out the window. Just as he was turning back to watch the traffic, he heard her scream, "Elliot look out!"
Out of the corner of his eyes he saw an 18 wheeler veering into their lane. He grabbed hold of the wheel even harder, tried to swerve but realized there was nowhere for them to go. He heard her yell out again and he felt the impact before he could process what had fully happened.
The next thing he knew, he was waking up, groggy and sore. He groaned, lifted a hand and tried to ward off the bright light. He felt something tug at his arm and he realized it was an IV. Suddenly everything snapped into place and the panic set in. "Olivia."
A voice behind him whispered, "Elliot?"
Turning quickly, he saw not Olivia but Kathy staring at him with a mix of relief and also hurt and he didn't have to ask why, "What-"
Somehow, she was able to put aside the fact that he had called out his partner's name and not hers and she whispered, "Elliot you were in an accident. But you're okay. You have a mild concussion and some bruising. But the Doctor said you'll be okay."
He glanced down, saw cuts on his hands and then he looked around the room again. His heart was hammering away in his chest and with the way his heart was pounding he could barely hear between the two thumps. His eyes tried to move around the room again and he heard Kathy sigh, she knew he was looking for Olivia.
"Elliot…" She whispered softly, sadly.
He knew he should pull it together but damn it, he had to know if she was okay. He started tugging at the IV and he heard Kathy protest. He yanked it out, wincing as the tape tore the hair on his hand. He flung the blanket off of his lap and stood up on shaky legs. "Where is she?"
Kathy sighed again and stood up, "Elliot, lie down. You're not supposed to be running around right now."
"I'm fine." He said, trying not to trip over more wires, "Where the hell is she?"
She crossed her arms over her chest and gave in, "She's next door."
Elliot shot her a quick look, wondered if he had the strength to stay and then knew better. Stomping barefoot across the hospital floor, he whipped the door open and turned to his left, and then his right.
"Geez Elliot." Fin said with a chuckle, "None of us need to see that-"
Elliot gave him a look, unsure of what he was talking about and then continued on his mission. He opened the door beside him and his heart jumped into his throat. Olivia was sitting up in the bed trying to brush off the nurse who was checking her vitals. She stopped short when she saw Elliot and he saw her swallow hard.
"El…" She whispered softly, "What are you doing out of bed? You should be resting."
Elliot shook his head, felt a stab of pain but kept going, "Are you okay?"
She was quiet for a moment, "I'm...I'm fine." The nurse gave her a look and she smiled, "A few broken ribs, some cuts and bruises...and a pretty gnarly burn on my back but I'll survive."
Elliot let out a breath, "Burn? Liv I-"
"El really…" She shook her head, "It could have been so much worse. I thought we were both goners...I don't know how we got out of there alive."
He stepped back a little, feeling weak, "I don't remember-"
Olivia turned to the nurse beside her, "Do you think...we could have a minute?"
"Sure." She said softly, she looked at Elliot and smiled but he ignored her.
Olivia fidget in her seat, looked down and her cheeks flushed red. "Um...El?"
He was frozen in place and couldn't take his eyes off her, "Huh?"
She reached for the blanket on her bed and held it out to him. "You should uh…"
He frowned, reached for the blanket and was about to ask why when he realized what he was wearing, an open johnny and his ass was clearly hanging out. "Oh crap…"
Olivia smiled, biting her lip she tried to lighten the mood. "I'm sure you gave Fin and Munch quite a show out there. The nurses too."
He groaned and wrapped the blanket around himself, "Don't even."
She laughed a little and fidgeted on the bed, "El you should really go lie down. You hit your head really hard...when you didn't wake up I started to panic."
He swallowed hard, "I don't remember…"
She nodded, "You blacked out immediately. But we're both okay...it's-"
"Olivia." He stepped all the way up to her and frowned, "I'm so, so sorry."
A small smile lifted on her lips, "Elliot, the accident wasn't your fault. The driver lost control, his brakes gave out. It was a total freak accident but we're both okay."
"I…" He put a hand on his forehead, suddenly feeling the ache get stronger but he couldn't stop the words coming out of his mouth. "I thought...you weren't there when I opened my eyes and I panicked. I thought…"
Reaching a hand out, she touched his arm gently, "I'm fine."
He looked down at her hand and marveled at how his skin burned under her touch. She went to pull her hand back, and he quickly reached out and grabbed it. Making her unable to retreat like he felt she had been doing for months. His fingers ran over her skin, touched the slight cuts and bruises. When he looked up, he saw that her eyes were full of tears and she looked scared.
"Liv…" He whispered, "I need you to know that…"
She tried to pull her hand away, "Don't." She tugged again, harder, more frantic. "Please don't."
He moved even closer to her, "I need to tell you something."
She shook her head adamantly, "I'm begging you not to-"
"Liv please…" He knew he was the one begging now but he couldn't hold it in, "Liv I-"
She finally pulled her hand all the way away, "I know. Okay? I know?" His eyes shot up to hers and she shrugged, "I know...but for the sake of your family...your marriage…" She looked past him and saw Kathy staring at them from the crack in the door, "You need to care about someone else more."
He didn't move his head, but he could see the blonde hair out of the corner of her eyes, "Liv I just...I'm not sure I can pretend I don't-"
She knew he wasn't going to give this up so she tried a different tactic, "Fine...then for the sake of our partnership…" She watched him straighten, clearly startled by her words, "You need to pretend that you don't."
He stepped back as if she had slapped him and in a way it felt like she had. She wanted to reach out, take it back. Tell him she wanted him to say it. She had felt it brewing under the surface the last few months. But she would never and could never be the other woman and she would never forgive herself if she gave into those desires. More than that...she truly believed he was just confused and overworked. He was reaching out because she knew him well. Someday he'd regret his choice and reach out for Kathy again and she would never survive that. It was better to have him as a friend, he partner, her coworker, then nothing at all.
She licked her lips, and looked down again. "Go…"
He stepped back again, "I-" She shook her head and the pained look on his face was threatening to rip her in two.
"El I'm fine. Go…" Her voice cracked as she spoke.
It took all of his strength to turn around, to urge his feet forward. When he stepped into the hallway, he saw Fin, Munch and Cragen watching him carefully. He looked away, held the blanket she had given him a little tighter and then walked back to his door. Kathy had walked back into the room and was sitting on a chair in the corner.
Looking up at him she pulled at her shirt and whispered, "She okay?"
Padding back towards the bed he sat down, "Yeah…"
She nodded once, stood up and pointed at the bed, "You should rest. I'm going to call the kids and let them know you're awake. They've been worried."
He sat down hard on the bed and whispered, "Kathy-"
"It's fine El." She said giving him a little smile, "I know you care about her. She's your partner…"
Elliot bowed his head and knew there was nothing more that he could say. He heard her walk out of the room and he lay back on the bed closing his eyes. He wondered what the hell he was supposed to do now?
Olivia was the first to break the spell when she cursed under her breath, a contraction ripping through her. Kathy jumped back into action and checked the IV needle. Elliot's eyes roamed between the two of them, trying desperately to find the words they all needed to hear but he couldn't form a thought.
Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw blood pooling in Olivia's lap and bile rose in his throat, "Kathy…"
She nodded, glanced down at the blood on Olivia's lap and looked back at her ex husband, "You still with us Olivia?"
Olivia nodded slowly but her eyes kept shutting on and off, "Y-Yes."
"Good." She smiled and helped Elliot put the jacket over them, "Just hang on."
"You're going to hear a lot of noise but you are all safe. Just stay as still as you can. I promise we're going to get you out of there. Hang on." The fireman said.
Elliot leaned in, made sure to shield both of the women in his life and waited. He wanted to scream when he heard the tearing and breaking of the glass and metal of the car. He felt Olivia shaking against him and he rubbed her shoulders trying to comfort her. He could hear Kathy whispering to Olivia and he was more than grateful that he wasn't doing this alone.
When the roof was off, Elliot whipped the jacket off of them, "We're so close Liv. Just hang on."
She cringed again, gritting her teeth and gripped the arm rest, "It's not me I'm worried about...this kid wants out. And they want out now."
Elliot looked at Kathy and her face was white, she didn't seem able to take her eyes away from the blood still flowing from Olivia's lap, "Liv-"
Olivia looked in the mirror, she could see the look on both of their faces and she knew just how much was at stake here. "Elliot look at me."
He gripped her hand and slowly lifted his eyes to hers in the mirror, and suddenly he knew what she was going to say before she said it but he wasn't ready to hear it. "Liv-"
"You save the baby." She whispered, her voice cracking and she saw Kathy bow her head and start to cry, Elliot's head shook, "Elliot, promise me. I need to hear you say it. Promise me right now."
Her eyes were starting to flutter closed and he wanted to scream, "Don't say that. You are going to be fine." She was crying now and he leaned further into her from behind, "Don't you leave me Olivia. Do you hear me? Don't you dare leave me! Damn it Olivia!"
Outside the car, Cragen, Fin, Munch, Casey and all the kids watched in horror. Fin and Munch were trying to comfort the kids but could barely hold it together themselves. Cragen was in a total daze, he hadn't felt this scared in as long as he could remember. People were running and screaming shouting orders but it felt like time was standing still for the people who loved Olivia most.
In the car, Olivia gripped her belly as another contraction ripped through her. Tears streamed from her eyes and she didn't try to hide the desperation in her voice. She needed to hear him promise her. Needed to hear the words straight from his mouth. It was the only way she was going to be able to even try to survive this. This baby was everything. Her reason for living. She needed it to survive even if she didn't. After everything she had been through...they had been through...this child needed to live.
"Elliot...please, please promise me. Say it. Say you'll save the baby." She begged frantically feeling the blood begin to trickle down her legs.
Elliot sniffled and felt himself shaking, he couldn't do it, couldn't do what she asked of him, "Liv please…"
She licked her lips and eyed Kathy out of the corner of her eyes, knowing she was her last hope. She was a Mother. She would understand. Olivia had vowed to protect Kathy's children. Kathy would do the same for her. "I'm counting on you too Kathy. I promised to take care of your kids. You promise to take care of mine."
Kathy looked at her softly, her heart ached but she knew that this was what Olivia needed to hear,"I promise." Elliot shot her a look of anger but she ignored him, understanding Olivia's fear. "But you aren't going anywhere Liv. I know you. You're not a quitter."
Another contraction ripped through her, and she groaned loudly. "Shit...God how did you do this four times?"
"You can do this Olivia." Kathy said again, a small yet hopeful growing on her lips."Think of everything you've already done. What you accomplished in the last few months alone. That was a hell of a lost scarier than this. You can do this. Okay?"
Olivia looked at her, then looked up at Elliot in the mirror, needing to see his blue eyes to calm her. "El…"
He smiled, pulled her hand up and kissed the top of it, "You can do this baby. If anyone can it's you...just think about holding that baby when this is over. Focus on that. Our future. Remember? We were about to start our future. Think of nothing but that." She cringed again and his own tears fell harder. "Can you do that?"
She took a few deep breaths, pictured holding their child and wondered if she could get out of this with both of their lives, "Yes...yes I think so."
Elliot smiled as he saw the fire department continuing to work, "We're almost out of here. Then we are going to the hospital and we'll meet this kiddo. Hang in there. Just hold onto me. Kathy and I are right here. You're not alone."
Olivia felt another contraction rip through her and heard the paramedics whisper, "You'll be out of here in two minutes Ma'am. Just hang on."
Kathy felt someone tug at her, she turned and at first brushed them off but then understood she had to get out first, "Olivia I'm going to be right here. Just do everything they say. Okay? I'm right here."
Olivia nodded, as she gritted her teeth trying to focus on the feel of the baby in her belly. "Okay…"
Elliot felt someone tugging on him, he brushed them off, unable to take his eyes from Olivia beside him afraid if he looked away her eyes would close for good. "I won't leave her…"
Olivia groaned again and leaned forward, knowing the baby was closer then she even realized, "Elliot...it's okay. Just...just get out. We'll be right behind you." She saw him shaking his head and she sighed, "El they can't get me out with you there. Just go. I'm okay. We're okay…"
Reluctantly he let go of Olivia's hand and let someone help him get out without getting hurt. Then he watched as a board was brought in, Kathy ran to his side and held him up knowing he was losing control. The Firemen and paramedics lifted Olivia out of the car and started to slowly carry her backwards towards the ambulance.
"El?" Olivia called out, she screamed as the pain from the labor and her injuries became more present, "This baby isn't waiting…"
"I'm right here." Elliot whispered as he grabbed for her hand again pushing his way between the paramedics, "I'm right here. We're almost there baby. Just stay with me."
One of the paramedics leaned into Olivia, "You think you can hang on until we get to the hospital?"
Olivia opened her mouth to respond, then grabbed her belly, "I can...but this kid can't."
He nodded nervously, turned to Elliot and Kathy and quickly said, "Everyone who's coming get in."
Elliot and Kathy climbed into the back of the ambulance without thinking twice and sat behind Olivia as he laid her out. Elliot watched as the paramedic checked on Olivia, he frowned, "I can already see the head…"
Olivia gripped Elliot's hand tighter, panic gripping her again as she feared for the safety of the baby. "Told you…"
The ambulance started moving and the paramedic looked up at Kathy, "I'm going to need your help."
Kathy nodded and tried to scoot to the side of Olivia in the cramped space, "Okay." She took Olivia's free hand, Elliot still held the other, "Olivia I know this isn't what you pictured when having this baby. But we're here now. Are you ready to push?"
Olivia nodded but tears streamed down her face again, "I don't really have a choice do I?" She said with a little laugh through gritted teeth.
Kathy smiled sympathetically, "No. You don't. But I'm going to tell you that it's going to be so damn worth it. You're going to be holding this baby before you know it. Just take a deep breath, squeeze our hands and push. Okay?"
Olivia looked the woman straight in the eyes and wanted to say something more meaningful but all she could muster up was, "It hurts…I gotta say I'd rather take a bullet than this any day."
"I know." Kathy said with a little laugh, she peeked down and smiled, "But this kiddo really isn't waiting. A few big pushes and he or she will be out. Okay?"
Olivia nodded slowly, took a deep breath and braced herself for the next wave of pain, "O-Okay…"
Kathy looked at Elliot, "Help me lift her up a bit."
Elliot did as he was told, reached for Olivia's arms and helped her sit up a bit as they bent her legs. Elliot leaned in and whispered into her ear, "I'm right here Liv. I'm right here."
She leaned into him and felt the baby moving further down, she felt like she was being ripped in two, "Oh God…"
"Push Olivia." Kathy said as Olivia squeezed her hands tightly, "Push!"
Olivia screamed as she felt the baby pushing its way out and she wanted to die. She could feel Elliot and Kahty squeezing her hands back and urging her on. She felt her heart pounding, her body breaking and this new life coming into the world. Whether this was the right time or not there was no turning back. The only path was forward and she had to keep going for the sake of this unborn baby.
"One more push Olivia!" Kathy yelled, "One more! You're doing amazing! One more!"
Olivia pushed her head into Elliot's chest and felt him press his lips to the crown of her head, she could feel his own tears mixing with hers. "Come on Liv…come on. You're so close! You can do this!"
Olivia squeezed her eyes shut, tugged on Kathy and Elliot's hands and pushed with all her might. For a moment she was sure she had blacked out from the pain. Her body shuddered and she froze when she heard crying fill the small space. Just like her Mother had said. Her child. Needing her. Her innocent, good and perfect child. She fell back onto Elliot and he wrapped his arms around her from behind.
"You did it." Kathy said through tears as the paramedic began to swaddle the baby, "Liv you did it. She's perfect."
Olivia was crying, her body shivered and shook, "She? It's a girl?" Her voice sounded faint and far away to her.
Kathy smiled as the paramedic handed the baby to her, "It's a girl...she's one strong little girl just like her Momma."
Olivia opened her arms and felt the small bundle be pressed into her chest, her warm body and her cries filled her senses. "Hi baby...hi. Oh God...I've waited so long to meet you."
Elliot's hand reached out and touched the little girl's head, Olivia could see that it was shaking slightly, "Hi sweet girl...welcome to the world."
Olivia's eyes were trained on the little girl in her arms. But she felt her body start to weaken and she knew she couldn't hold on. She tried to keep her arms locked around the baby. Tried to tell herself to hold on just a little longer. But the space around her was dimming, her heart was fluttering harder and she felt like time was slipping away. The baby's cries got faint in her ears and she felt her arms start to give out. "El…"
Elliot heard the tremor in her voice and knew it wasn't out of emotion, he pulled his eyes from the baby and froze when he saw how pale his wife looked, "Olivia…"
Kathy quickly reached out and took the baby from Olivia as her arms went limp, "Elliot, take the baby. Keep her warm."
Elliot's eyes snapped up as Kathy handed him his brand new daughter. He fell back in the seat behind him and felt and heard his daughter crying, wanting no one but her Mother that she had just been snatched away from. His eyes looked down and he saw Olivia's hand fall down, limp, lifeless. Kathy and the paramedic went into action trying to bring Olivia back but the beeping on the monitor started getting faster.
Serena screamed into her Father's ear and he started to shake as he pulled back his coat to wrap her gently, "I got you sweetie...I got you. Daddy's here…"
Kathy leaned over Olivia, she put two hands to either side of her face and whispered, "Olivia? Can you hear me?"
The beeping got faster, louder and Elliot's heart raced in his chest, "No…"
Kathy's eyes glanced up at Elliot in shock, she looked back down, "Olivia...don't you dare let go. That little girl needs her Mom. Wake up…"
The beeping continued and then...it began to flatline and it felt like the world had opened up and swallowed them all whole. Elliot held his crying daughter, felt her squirming, looking for the comfort of her Mother's chest.
The tears fell from his eyes and he pressed his lips to Serena's head. "Please…" He whispered, "Oh God please…"
An hour later, Elliot stood in the hallway outside the OR where his wife was being tended to. His heart was hammering away in his chest. He had told himself this morning that if they got through today, they would be in the clear. She'd be able to let go. She'd be able to put the past behind her and only worry about bringing their child into this world.
He felt sick. His body felt broken. He had no serious injuries. No broken bones. No stitches, just a small cut on his head. And yet his wife lay in a hospital bed as Doctors poked and prodded her after giving birth.
Leaning forward, he pressed his head into the wall. And then he remembered the last time they were in the hospital…
Elliot lay in his hospital bed, groggy. Confused. His side ached and he groaned, trying to put everything into perspective. Trying to understand where he was. His eyes fluttered open and the first thing he saw was Olivia asleep in a chair beside him.
"Liv…" His voice was hoarse and it cracked.
She sat up quickly and looked at him, "El…" She stumbled off the chair and knelt down beside him, "Hey…" She wiped at her eyes, "Welcome back to the world of the living." She bit her lip to keep from crying, "You scared me to death."
Elliot's hand shook as he tried to remember. "Liv what-"
She stood up and reached for some water, "Take a sip…" She helped tilt his head forward and watched as he took a sip from the straw, "Easy...easy."
He sighed, took a breath and leaned back against the pillow, "The last thing I remember is running after Donovan...Munch was after him in the squad car."
Olivia nodded and reached a hand out to touch his cheek, "You were shot. On the left side...just missed your spleen. Doctors said you're lucky to be al-" She froze and his eyes lifted to hers, "I thought I lost you this time…"
He closed his eyes for a minute, adjusted and then tried to smile, "Wouldn't be the first time I got shot. Won't be the last."
She cringed, and tried to pull away from him. "Don't say that. Please don't say that…"
He sighed, "I try not to make it a habit...just the hazards of the job."
She sighed, leaned forward and whispered, "I know. You know I know...but…"
He nodded understanding exactly what she was saying,"Things are different now…"
She bit her lip again, "It would have broken my heart before El...but now…" She sniffled, "Now it would kill me. I need you."
Elliot leaned his forehead against hers, "You can't get rid of me that easy Benson...I've got plans for us."
She smiled and kissed him gently, "Plans, huh?"
Elliot smiled softly, breathing a sigh of relief. "I'm gonna make an honest woman out of ya…"
She laughed and pulled away, "Is that so? Hell will probably freeze over."
He smirked, "Maybe...but it will be worth it."
She smiled and touched his cheek, "Anything else I should know about with this plan?"
He looked at her with heavy lids, feeling the exhaustion wash over him as the medicine kicked in again, "Yeah. I plan on seeing you pregnant...seeing you carry our child."
She hung her head and let the tears fall, they landed on his bruised hand, "El…"
"You are going to be the most incredible Mom. Only time I want to be back here in the hospital. Deal?" He asked softly.
She lifted her head and smiled, "Deal…"
Elliot squeezed his eyes tight, his body started shaking and he couldn't keep the tears in. There was no use. He started pounding his palm into the wall behind him, needing to feel something under his hand. Needed something to focus on. This wasn't part of the plan when he said they could only come back to the hospital when she gave birth. It wasn't supposed to be like this…
He felt a hand on his back and he turned to see Kathy, she had Serena cradled in her arms, making him stop. "Hey…"
Elliot wiped at his eyes and looked down at his tiny daughter, "H-hi."
She frowned knowing he was about to break, "El I know you're a mess right now. I get it. But this little girl needs her Dad…"
Elliot nodded slowly, he held his arms out and Kathy placed the clean, healthy baby in his arms, "She's-"
"She's perfect." Kathy whispered reassuringly, "They checked for everything and she's just fine. She's strong…"
Elliot's lip trembled, the ache in his chest grew, "Kathy…"
"So is Olivia…" She said softly, as she leaned into him. "She's going to wake up."
Elliot looked up, he searched her face for any sign that she understood what he so desperately wanted to say, "I wouldn't have been able to do that without you…"
Kathy smiled softly, "Yes you would have. But I'm glad I could be there to help."
He looked back down at Serena as she yawned, she was so beautiful. Just like Olivia. He felt so strange being here with his ex wife while he waited to hear the fate of his current wife. He needed to say something. He needed to explain.
"Kathy when we were in the car...I was-" He was rambling and she squeezed his arm.
"I was thinking about your accident too." She whispered, he glanced back at her, and she shook her head, "I think Olivia probably was too. I could just feel it."
He sighed, "Kathy I need you to know that I loved you." He paused, "That I still love you it's just different-"
She bit her lip and looked up at him, needing him to hear her fully. "I know Elliot. I know…"
"I know we're in a good place but I just...I feel like I owe you an apology." He paused, "More than an apology. I just...I'm so sor-"
She shook her head, "Don't. You have no reason to be. El...we were over long before that day. And it had nothing to do with Olivia."
He watched her carefully, trying to read her expression, "I don't even know where it all went wrong…"
She shook her head, "I think it was little things over the years. We tried. We did. And I wouldn't change any of it because we got five incredible kids. But I don't blame you for our divorce. I don't blame Olivia either. That day I…" She sighed, "I saw it and part of me felt sad...but it was the push I needed to make the break. We needed it to be over. We were just too afraid to jump. And so...when I knew you were okay. I left…" She smiled and touched Serena's face, "And despite a few bumps in the road...we're all here now."
"Kath-" He whispered again but she shook her head again.
"It's okay." She whispered, but her voice was steady and he knew that she was telling the truth, "It's really okay."
Elliot swallowed hard and looked down at Serena again. "Where are the kids?"
"Out in the waiting room. I tried to have Maureen take them home but they've all refused. Cragen, John, Fin, and Casey are out there too. No one's going anywhere." She whispered, "We're all here." She squeezed his arm hoping to give him a little strength he so desperately needed, "They'd like to meet their sister…"
Elliot took a deep breath, looked down at the little girl in his arms. She was looking up at him, her dark brown eyes mirrored Olivia's and his heart squeezed in his chest. "She wanted to name her Serena…" He sniffled, "For her Mom. Serena Benson Stabler…"
Kathy bit her lip, she felt her own knees go weak at his words as she prayed Olivia would know this child, "That's beautiful…" She rubbed his back gently, "Come introduce her to her family. You both need them."
He nodded slowly, leaned down and kissed Serena's head. She cooed softly and Elliot smiled but never took his eyes off of her as he whispered, "We picked you for Godmother."
Kathy froze in place and looked up, "Me?"
Elliot smiled and nodded, "Picking Olivia for Eli's Godmother meant the world to her. She respects you so much Kathy. She cares about you. And she trusts you. We both do. We know if anything…" His voice cracked and he looked up at her, "I know it's a lot to ask but...I need your help."
She nodded slowly, leaned up and kissed his cheek, "It would be an honor to be Serena's Godmother. Thank you Elliot."
He lifted one hand and squeezed hers, "Thank you Kathy...for…"
She nodded, "I know. I know…" She cocked her head to the side, "Come on…"
He let her lead him and Serena out into the waiting room. He saw his five children, huddled together, Eli cradled in his brother's lap. They all looked like they had been crying. Munch had his arm around Casey who didn't try to hide the tears. Cragen was slumped over in a chair, his head hung low. Fin was pacing.
"Daddy?" Eli called softly from Richie's lap, "Daddy is that the baby?"
Elliot swallowed hard and felt Kathy push him forward, "Yeah little man...this is your sister." He sat down beside him and smiled, "This is Serena Benson Stabler…"
Behind him he heard Casey start to cry harder, "Serena…"
He looked up at Casey and nodded, "We wanted her to be named after her Grandmother. A strong woman." He smiled and looked down, "Just like her Mom too…"
The girls cried beside him, "She's not awake?" Lizzie asked in a terrified voice.
Elliot swallowed hard and rocked Serena gently, "No...no she's not awake."
"Can I hold her?" Maureen asked softly, "She's...she's so little."
Elliot smiled and nodded his head. Maureen stepped forward and gently took her sister from his Father's arms. Elliot watched them carefully and felt something snap inside of him. Watching his oldest daughter hold his youngest, his world seems to flash before his eyes. The sob erupted from deep in his chest, and the group around him didn't even flinch. Eli crawled out of his brother's lap and into his Father's, he put his small hand on Elliot's cheek as he cried, "Is Mommy Livvie going to die?"
Hearing those words on his young son's lips, Elliot broke even more. He enveloped his son, held him close and cried, "I don't know Eli...I don't know…"
Kathleen walked to the other side of her Dad, put an arm around him and Richie wrapped around the other side. Elliot held them and cried. Lizzie clung to her Mother and Maureen rocked Serena. Fin slid into the chair beside Cragen and put his hand on the older man's back as he cried. Casey turned in John's arms and cried even harder than she had been.
None of them could make sense of what had happened today. How it had gone from so hopeful in winning the case...in helping Olivia beat her demons to this moment. The birth of this beautiful little girl, a symbol of both her Grandmother and Mother's strength. And yet...at the moment neither of them could hold her.
Was there still one last miracle left?
Just hang on a little longer my friends! I promise it will be okay. The new chapter will be up soon!