Here is the epilogue as promised! It will jump around in time to get a little glimpse into our favorite families life!
I have an idea for a story that I will be working on overtime. A longer story. I've got a few one-shots in my mind too but the longer story or two part story will be set really early in SVU and will be a ride in itself! So keep an eye out for that :) Not sure when I will get to it. Lots of ideas and need to sort it all out!
Anyway - thanks for joining the ride that was "In The Blood!" Hope you enjoyed it :)
One Year Later…
Olivia Benson Stabler stood in the dark room of her daughter's bedroom. The moon was high in the sky on this clear night. It was just after midnight and she was staring down at her daughter in awe. She was officially one years old…
One year ago she had seen justice for her Mother, and all of Hollister's victims. One year ago she had been in an accident with her husband and given birth to this beautiful baby girl in the middle of the chaos. One year ago, she had almost lost her own life, almost lost the ability to experience this moment. One year ago she had broken, given in to all of her fears and pain and let it all go. One year ago she had become closer to her husband than she ever thought was possible.
Since that day, they had opened up to each other on a level unlike anything she had ever experienced. They had always been close. They had always had a very deep connection. But that day...started something new for them both. They had let down the final piece of their guards to find peace and to give into each other completely.
She sighed happily and leaned down to brush away Serena's brown curls from her face. Serena's small thumb was in her mouth and she suckled it gently in her sleep. She heard a creak in the hallway and smiled to herself, knowing exactly who it was. She didn't turn to see him, she waited until she felt his hand on her lower back.
"Thought I'd find you in here." He whispered as he leaned in and kissed the side of her face.
She leaned into him and smiled, "I couldn't sleep."
She felt him rubbing her shoulder and felt the rumble in his chest, "Nightmare?"
She shook her head and moved to wrap an arm around his waist, "No. Just...thinking."
Elliot dropped another kiss to the crown of her head again and then looked down at Serena, "It went fast."
She sighed and leaned further into him, "Too fast…"
He could practically hear the pout that was surely plastered on her face, "I tried to warn you."
Serena's little legs twitched as she dreamed and Olivia smiled, "You ever wonder what's going on in her little head?"
He chuckled softly, "All the time."
They stood in silence for a moment, both lost in thought before she whispered, "A year later and I still get so angry thinking that I could have-"
"I know." He said squeezing her gently, "I know. But you're here. You haven't missed a thing Liv. That little girl adores you. You are the best Mother."
She sighed and leaned down to touch her face again, "I just want her to be happy…to feel loved."
"She feels all of those things and more." He said rubbing her back, "You know she does." He gave her a moment and then tugged gently on her arm, "Come on. Let's get some more sleep. Eli and Serena will be up early and we have the party…"
Standing back up, she turned to him and reached out to touch his face, "Okay." He nuzzled into her palm and she smiled, "Hey El?"
He searched her face carefully before nodding, "Yeah?"
"Thank you...for." She paused and smiled, "For...giving me this life. And not giving up on me…"
He smiled, pressed his forehead to hers and smiled, "Giving up on you was never an option Liv. You were well worth the wait…"
Even in the dimly lit room he could see the blush on her cheeks, "Take me to bed Stabler…"
Elliot's hand slipped from her shoulder, down her arm and then took her hand, "Don't have to tell me twice."
She chuckled, glanced once more at Serena and then walked with him out of Serena's room and down to their room. Elliot closed the door quietly behind them and all her worries soon disappeared as she fell into his arms once more.
Later on the next day, the birthday party was in full swing. All the kids were at the house, Kathy, her new husband Lucas, Fin, Munch, Casey and Cragen. Olivia was in the kitchen getting the cake ready, she looked out the kitchen window and saw Eli and the twins sitting on the grass with Serena trying to get her to walk. She had so far taken a few wobbly steps but no full walking yet.
She was just about to lift the cake and walk outside when she heard her phone ping. Reaching into her pocket, she lifted it out and saw the name Sarah Larson on the front. She smiled and went to read the text message. After the trial, they had stayed in touch, both of them supporting each other through the emotions lingering from Hollister.
Her heart swelled in her chest when she saw a picture of Sarah holding out her hand, a diamond ring on her finger and a huge smile on her face. Beside her, Sam was smiling at her like he was the luckiest man in the world. They had made it work, just like Olivia knew they would.
She lifted the phone and started to type a congratulatory text, Elliot poked his head in the kitchen as she was finishing, "Everything okay in here? The natives are getting restless. And by that I mean...Eli and Richie."
Olivia smiled and nodded, she held out her phone, "Sorry. Sarah texted me."
Elliot took the phone and looked down, a slow smile spread on his lips, "Well would you look at that…"
She beamed up at him, "I'm really happy for them."
"Me too." Elliot said handing her back the phone, "You know she wouldn't have made it to this place without you Olivia."
Her cheeks blushed and she shook her head, "Of course she would have."
He cocked his head to the side and frowned, "No Liv. She wouldn't have. She needed your support."
She smiled softly and looked out the window, "Hm…"
He walked up to her, slowly he lifted a hand and turned her face to him and smiled, "Badass Benson...strikes again."
She rolled her eyes and playfully pushed him back, "You already got laid once this morning. Wasn't that enough?"
He chuckled, "With you? Never."
She smiled, leaned up to kiss him and reached for the cake, "Well it has to be for now. Our daughter deserves her cake."
"Olivia!" A voice from the yard yelled startling them both.
They turned and quickly walked outside, the cake forgotten. But their anxiousness quickly turned to surprise and happiness as they saw Serena stumbling towards them on her chubby little legs. "Oh my God…"
Elliot leaned down, "Keep going baby! Come on!"
Olivia knelt down beside him and put her arms out and Serena beamed at her Mom, she stumbled slightly. Then she righted herself and continued on her journey towards her Mom, a determined look on her face. Elliot couldn't help but smile thinking that he had seen that very look a million times on his wife's face over the years. A look of ferociousness, bravery and strength. The look that said nothing was ever going to break her.
Serena took two more steps and then stopped in front of her Mother, "Mama."
Olivia's eyes burned with tears and she nodded, "You did it baby!"
Serena giggled and launched herself into Olivia's arms as she scooped her up. Behind them their friends and family were clapping and hollering in celebration of Serena's triumph. Elliot leaned in and kissed his daughter's head. He helped Olivia stand up and they walked towards their friends at the table. A moment later, Casey and Maureen came out carrying the cake that Olivia had left behind.
Elliot had strapped Serena into her seat and Olivia took the cake and placed it in front of her daughter as everyone started to sing. Serena's eyes were glued on the cake, a curious yet excited look on her face. She had never had cake, never had so much sugar and this new treat was intriguing to her. Elliot and Olivia helped her blow out the candles and Elliot removed them. Seconds later, Serena's tiny hand reached out and slammed into the cake.
A loud laugh echoed throughout the yard, "Serena!" Elliot said with a chuckle.
She looked over at him with her wide brown eyes, reaching out she touched his face with her sticky, frosting covered hand, "Dada!"
The laughter got louder, especially Olivia's and he raised an eyebrow at her, "Oh you think this is funny Benson?"
She narrowed her eyes at him, already knowing what he was thinking, "Don't you dare Stabler."
Elliot reached out and touched the cake with his hand, pulling back to reveal a handful of frosting, "Don't what?"
She opened her mouth to say something quickly but she wasn't fast enough because Serena took matters into her own hand and threw cake at her Mother, "Serena!"
"Food fight!" Richie yelled from his spot at the picnic table.
Before anyone could process what was happening, everyone reached for ammunition not wanting to be unarmed. Burgers, potato salad, fruit, ketchup, lemonade, adn anything they could get their hands on we're flying through the air. Serena was in her highchair clapping and laughing.
Elliot had pulled Olivia against him as she rubbed frosting into his hair, "You're going to pay for that!"
She laughed harder and tried to pull away but he pulled her all the way against him as he reached behind him for the pitcher of lemonade. She screeched when the cold drink washed over her flushed body. "Elliot!"
He laughed at the furious look on her face and he pulled her to him again, "Yes?"
She glared up at him, then her face softened and she grabbed his face, "You're the worst."
He smiled, swayed them slightly as they heard their friends and family continuing the party around them, "You don't mean that."
She laughed, wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close, "Nope. Not even a little bit."
Their lips crashed against each other and the sweet tang of the lemonade and the sugary frosting mixed together. His hands gripped her hips and pulled her as close as possible and she melted into his embrace. They were so wrapped up in each other, their love, and feeling so grateful for all they year had brought them despite how it had started. They were so consumed in each other that neither one of them noticed the food fight had stopped.
It wasn't until they felt the cold spray of the hose hit them from somewhere to their left. They both yelled and pulled away to see Eli aiming the hose right at them. "Eli!"
Eli smirked, "Richie says you should get a room."
Elliot kissed Olivia once more as she laughed and quickly ran at his son to grab the hose. He scooped him up, held him to his side and started aiming the hose at his friends and family as they scattered again. Olivia squatted down beside Serena who was eating what was left of her cake.
Olivia reached out, scooped her up and nuzzled her frosting filled face, "Look what you started baby girl."
"Cake." Serena said reaching out to touch her Mother's nose with her sticky fingers.
Olivia's heart swelled in her chest as she heard the laughter around her as she held her daughter close. It still didn't seem real. She had everything she had ever wanted right here and more. She was so overwhelmed with love, she felt tears in her eyes. Serena held her face in her hands and kissed her gently, "I love you."
Serena beamed at her Mom and whispered, "Love."
Olivia kissed her nose, then turned to look back at the party as all hell had broken loose again. Elliot was standing up on Eli's playset spraying people as they ran past. She caught his eye and he paused for just a moment, she smiled radiantly up at him and then Serena started clapping again and wanted to join the fun.
Olivia looked to the side and saw the second hose coiled up and she smirked. "Come on baby. Two can play this game…"
Five years later…
Olivia left work just in time to make it to school to pick up Serena at school. Elliot was going to pick up 11 year old Eli after his soccer practice. She pulled up in front of the school, climbed out of the car and smiled when she saw Serena's teacher walking her towards the car.
"Mommy!" Serena yelled as she ran at her Mother, Olivia scooped her up and she smiled, "Hi Mommy."
Olivia nuzzled her close, "Hey baby. How was school?"
Serena smiled, "It was great! Is Eli coming over today?"
Olivia nodded, "He is. Daddy will pick him in a little while and then we'll all have dinner together. He'll be with us all weekend. And we'll have dinner with Mo, Kathleen, Richie and Lizzie on Sunday. Sound good?"
Serena's face lit up, she loved spending time with all her siblings, "Yes!"
Olivia kissed her cheek and then looked back at Serena's teacher, "How was the day?"
Her teacher Mrs. Kessler smiled, "It was good. But, can we talk for a moment?"
Olivia's heart flip flopped in her chest, "Sure." She set Serena down and pointed towards the small playground to the left, "Why don't you go play with Conner and Lucy for a few minutes hon? Then we can go."
"Okay." Serena said as she started to run towards the playground to meet her friends.
Olivia watched her go, then turned to Mrs. Kessler again, "Is...everything okay? Did Serena get into trouble of some kind today?"
Mrs. Kessler nodded, "No. No...nothing like that. She's always so well behaved. It was just...some of the kids were talking about their families. And Serena mentioned she only had one grandmother, your husband's Mother. She started asking questions about why the other kids had grandfathers and she didn't...I know your Mother has passed and-"
"Oh." Olivia said looking back at the playground to look for Serena, she could see her on the swings with Lucy, "Yes my Mom…" She paused and then swallowed hard, "I'll talk to her."
Mrs. Kessler was quiet for a moment, "All families are different. I just wanted to give you a heads up...let you know it was bothering her."
"I appreciate it." Olivia said with a smile, "Thank you. Have a great weekend."
Mrs. Kessler said her goodbyes and then Olivia turned to the playground. She walked over to the swings and watched as her daughter looked so happy, so full of life with her friends. She had always known at some point there would be questions. Questions she wasn't sure how to answer without scaring her child. She was still so young.
Sighing, she reached out a hand to her daughter, "Come on baby. Time to go."
Serena jumped off the swing and flew through the air, no fear as usual. So much like her parents in that way, act now think later. She smiled to herself and watched as Serena waved goodbye to her friends. Olivia could hear her little feet on the pavement, then felt her little hand reach for hers and Olivia squeezed.
They walked quietly to the car, Olivia lifted her up and strapped her into her seat. Serena was humming to herself, her little feet kicked back and forth. When she knew she was secure, Olivia walked around the car and settled into her own seat. She peeked at Serena in the mirror and Serena looked up at her and smiled.
"How was school?" Olivia asked, not wanting to push too hard, "Did you have a good day?"
Serena's little feet stopped kicking for a moment and she paused, clearly thinking carefully, "Uh huh."
"Anything big happen? Anything you want to talk about?" She asked.
Serena looked out the window and sucked in her lower lip, just like Elliot often did when he was thinking, "Momma, how come I never met your Mommy? Like Grandma Bernie?"
Olivia swallowed hard, "Well honey...you know that my Mommy is in heaven. Daddy and I told you that, remember?"
Serena nodded slowly, "Like Daddy's, Dad?"
Olivia nodded, "Yes. Exactly."
Serena was quiet again, "Well...what about your Daddy? Is he in heaven too?"
Olivia sighed and felt her heart pounding in her chest, "He's…" She paused a moment, "No. Actually. He's not."
Serena looked at her again, "Then...how come I never met him?"
Olivia frowned, "What do you say we drop in and see Daddy at work? You can visit Uncle Fin and Uncle Munch. Grandpa Cragen too."
Serena's eyes narrowed, "But Grandpa Cragen isn't your Daddy…"
Olivia shook her head, "No baby. He's not my real Daddy...but he's like my Dad. And he loves you like you are his granddaughter." Serena stared at her, "You want to see your Daddy?"
Serena nodded slowly, "Okay."
Olivia took a quick left at the next light and changed her direction to head back towards the precinct. She had anticipated meeting Elliot and Eli back at work. Elliot was going to stay at work for another hour before he had to pick up his son but at this moment, she needed her husband. They had always agreed that this was a conversation they would have together. Even if they hadn't agreed on it, she didn't want to do it alone.
When they parked, Olivia took a few calming breaths and then exited the car to let Serena out. Serena hopped down and reached up to take her Mom's hand. Together, they walked into the familiar building and Olivia smiled when her little hands reached out to touch the button for the correct floor. When the doors opened, Serena slipped her hand back into her Mom's hand and they walked down the hall and into the squad room.
"Well, well, well…" Munch said from his desk when he spotted them, "What a pleasant surprise. What's shaking kiddo?"
Elliot's head lifted and he smiled when he saw his wife and daughter, "Hi Uncle Munch!"
Olivia ruffled her hair, "Munch, think you can hang with your goddaughter for a few minutes?"
Munch nodded, "Sure. Fin should be back in a minute. We did say we needed a rematch in "Guess Who…'" He said pointing at the young girl.
Serena beamed up at her Mom, "Can I?"
Olivia nodded, "Sure baby. But say hi to Dad first."
Serena turned and ran to her Dad, she climbed up into his lap and hugged him, "Hi Daddy."
"Hey baby." He kissed the side of her face, "How was school?"
Serena shrugged, "It was good."
Elliot looked back at his wife and she smiled softly at him, trying to look reassuring. He looked down at Serena again and smiled, "Go play with Uncle Munch and Uncle Fin." He opened his top drawer and pulled out a candy bar, "Don't share."
Serena beamed up at him and kissed his cheek, "Thanks Daddy!"
He smiled as she hopped down from her spot on his lap and then Elliot stood up to walk towards his wife. He heard Munch walking with Serena off to the little office beside Cragen's. When he got all the way up to Olivia, he reached for her hand and tilted his head to the side.
"What's wrong?" He asked softly, she shook her head and he sighed, "Liv…"
She scrunched up her nose, "She uh...she asked where my Dad was. Why she hadn't met my parents."
Elliot took a deep breath, "Oh…"
"It came up at school. The kids were talking about families. We knew it would happen at some point. I just didn't think it would be so soon." She licked her lips anxiously, "I just...wasn't sure what to say. And I didn't want to do it al-"
He shook his head and pulled her towards him, "I'm glad you came here." He smiled at her, "We always agreed to do it together. I'll be beside you...the whole time. We don't have to tell her all the details. She's too little. But we can explain a few things…"
Olivia nodded slowly, "Yeah...okay."
Elliot looked behind him towards Cragen's office, "Let me talk to Cap. Then we can get out of here. We have time before I need to pick up Eli."
Olivia closed her eyes for a moment and sighed, "Elliot-"
He leaned in, pressed a kiss to her forehead and whispered, "It's going to be okay. I promise."
She sighed and melted into his embrace, not caring that they were at work. They talked quietly for a few minutes discussing how to handle things. Then Elliot went to talk to Cragen while Olivia waited out at her desk. She swallowed hard, realizing this would be the first of many conversations she would probably have to have with her daughter over the years.
In the last five years, she had given very little thought to Joseph Hollister. She didn't see the point. He was in prison where he belonged and had no hold over her life. But in a moment like this, she knew part of him would always stay with her because he was part of her story. When she felt Elliot's hand on her back, she turned to him and smiled before they walked into the nearby room to collect Serena. They watched as she gave Fin and John a big hug before running out to say hi a quick hi to Cragen. Then she ran out to the room and straight for her Dad who willingly scooped her up without giving it a second thought.
The three of them exited the Squad room, got in the elevator and went downstairs. Instead of getting in the car, they started to walk. Both Elliot and Olivia knew where they were going without giving it a second thought. When they entered the park, Elliot put Serena down and she ran towards the bench where years earlier, Olivia and Elliot had recommitted themselves to each other on their own. He slipped his hand into hers and when he squeezed, she felt the tension leave her body.
They took their spots on either side of their daughter and watched as Serena kicked her legs back and forth, "Daddy, can we make sundaes with Eli?"
Elliot smiled and rubbed her back gently, "I think we can do that. I'll pick some stuff up at the store on the way home with Eli."
Serena nodded and looked at her Mommy, "Are we going to talk about your Daddy now?"
Olivia fidgeted in her seat, "Um...yeah baby. We are."
Serena looked over at her Dad, "Your Daddy is in heaven with Mommy's Mom. Grandma Serena."
Elliot nodded, "He is. And you know you are named after Grandma Serena."
Serena smiled, "Uh huh."
Elliot looked up at his wife and could see she was struggling to form the words so he took a chance and started for them, "Hey kiddo...you know how Mommy and Daddy are cops?" Serena nodded slowly, "And we catch the bad guys...people who make bad choices."
Serena stared up at him for a moment but nodded, "Uh uh. You put them in timeout."
Elliot couldn't help but laugh and he saw Olivia bite back a small smile, "Yeah...something like that. A pretty long time out…"
Serena was quiet for a moment, clearly thinking about what her Father had said. Then she turned towards her Mom, "Mommy?"
Olivia took a deep breath and reached out for Serena who quickly took the hint and crawled into her lap, "Baby you know that...that Daddy and I love you very, very much. Right?"
Serena planted her legs on either side of Olivia's lap and nodded, "Uh huh."
Olivia reached a hand up and pushed back her curls, "And you know that...sometimes people have different kinds of families. We've talked about that. Right?"
Serena nodded, "Uh huh. Like how Eli, Kathleen, Mo, Richie and Lizzie have a different Mommy than you. But we're all a family. Plus I have Uncle Munch, Uncle Fin, Kathy and Grandpa Cragen too."
Olivia smiled softly, "Exactly."
Serena looked over at her Daddy, "Where's my other Grandpa? Does he live with another family?"
Elliot sighed and scooted closer to the both of them, filling the space that Serena had left, "Well...honey he made some bad choices. He wasn't a very nice man. He hurt some people and he had to go away…"
"To the timeout place?" Serena asked softly, "Where the other bad guys go?"
Elliot nodded slowly, "Yeah honey. And he will be there forever."
She scrunched up her little nose and thought about what was being said, "But what did he do?"
Olivia looked away, unable to form a thought but thankfully her husband answered, "He...just…"
"Is it like when Eli and I fight and I hit him and I go timeout at home? Do I have to go to the big timeout place?" Her eyes welled with tears nervously.
"No. Of course not. This place is for people who do things they can't take back. Things that hurt people forever. Does that make sense?" She stared at him for a moment, "Probably not...but you don't have to worry about going there. Okay?"
Serena pouted softly, clearly still confused, "Can I visit him?"
Elliot felt Olivia tense beside him and saw her eyes gloss over, "No...no you can't baby. That's-" He paused and then pushed on, "Serena I'm sorry but you aren't going to meet him. And we don't want you too."
Serena's pout intensified, then she turned to her Mom, "Mommy, are you sad?"
Olivia could feel the tears threatening to fall, but she wanted to be strong for her daughter, "No honey I'm not...I'm not sad. I just...I'm sorry. I know this is confusing. I wish we could explain it better but it's…" She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her little nose, "It's just...complicated."
"Like a big person problem?" She asked looking at her, "Like when Daddy says I don't have to worry about it until I'm older?"
Olivia smiled, "Yeah...something like that."
Serena was quiet and then leaned forward, she wrapped her arms tightly around her Mother and rested her head against her shoulder, "Okay Mommy. I trust you."
Olivia sighed and held her close, not realizing how much that would mean to her, "I love you sweet girl..."
Serena squeezed her Mom tight, "I love you too Mommy."
Olivia looked over at Elliot and he smiled at her, reaching out he placed a hand on her back. Like her, he knew this wasn't the end of the conversation, but for now Serena accepted the answer.
Later that night, Olivia was standing in the kitchen cleaning up as she watched Eli and Serena eat their sundaes in the living room at the coffee table. Eli was so good with his little sister. Now that she was a little older, they were an inseparable duo. Always up to something but always having fun. Eli was her protector, her best friend and her hero and her heart swelled thinking about how strong their relationship would grow over the years.
Elliot walked into the kitchen and over to her, he placed a hand on her lower back and leaned in, "They'll probably be up late tonight…"
Olivia smiled but shook her head, "It's okay. I don't mind. You know Serena loves having Eli here...extra time with him is always good."
Elliot watched her move around the kitchen as she continued to clean and he tried to study her expressions. Today had been tough. He knew that. She had come a long way over the years in handling all of these emotions. They both had. They had stuck to spending one night a week checking in with each other and it had made such a difference for them. He watched as she wiped her hands off on a towel and then he leaned against the counter and smiled.
"Lizzie texted me. She wants to drop by tomorrow after work." She said looking at her husband, "She was going to try and see if Richie could come too."
Elliot nodded, "Sounds good. Eli and Serena will be happy." He paused for a moment, "Maybe we could steal away for a quick lunch? Just us?"
Olivia smiled up at him, "Maybe…"
He looked at her, "I think we could...use it. To talk.:"
She looked down and sighed, "El...she accepted those answers today but someday she won't. And I just…" She looked up and over at her daughter, "I don't want to scare her. And I don't want...I don't want her to worry about the things that I worried about."
"I know." He whispered, "But her life is very different than yours was. You know that…"
She turned to him and pushed herself away from the sink. He waited and watched her as she wrapped her arms around his waist and then pressed her face into the crook of his neck. He didn't hesitate as he wrapped his arms around her back and gently rocked her back and forth. He understood that this was what she needed and nothing more, and in his arms she was incredibly grateful that he understood her so well.
She knew that tomorrow at lunch they could talk more, discuss what to say or do but today she could just be and that was enough.
Thirteen years later…
Olivia Benson Stabler pulled into her driveway after a long day at work. She sighed, stretched and just sat behind the steering wheel for a moment. She hadn't been home in three days and was more than grateful that Elliot had officially retired from SVU. He was currently working cold case files but was able to make his own hours more. She knew he was hoping she would follow his lead, but she wasn't ready. Especially now that she was Captain…
Pulling herself out of the car, she looked up at the house and saw the light in the kitchen on. She knew that Elliot and Serena were probably just sitting down to dinner. Walking over to the mailbox, she reached in and pulled out a pile of mail without looking at it. Her boots crunched under the snow on the grass as she walked up to the front door. Opening the door, she heard Serena laughing at something that Elliot had said and her set her heart soaring. She loved those little moments when she could see him being the best Father to their daughter. She never had any doubt in his abilities as she had watched him for years with his older children.
Maureen was married with two kids of her own. Kathleen was living with her long time boyfriend (much to her fathers chagrin but marriage wasn't something she thought she wanted). The twins were living in the heart of the city, Richie worked at an up and coming tech company and was climbing the ladder each day. Lizzie was a teacher in an inner city school and loved what she did. Eli was seventeen and already looking at colleges and she wondered where the time had gone.
And then there was Serena. Though they had tried, it wasn't in the cards for them to have another baby. At first it had been difficult for Olivia to accept. However, she also knew that Serena was a miracle all on her own. Plus, she had five bonus children and at the end of the day that made her the luckiest woman on the planet.
Serena was smart, sweet, curious and kind. She saw the world through mostly rose colored glasses, saw the good in people. She loved to help others, always wanted to volunteer, animal shelters, soup kitchens, children's hospitals. Sometimes it was hard to keep up with whatever crusade she wanted to embark on that week. But...at the end of the day it made her parents so proud.
Rounding the corner, she stepped into the kitchen and caught Elliot's eye. He winked at her and Serena turned when she caught his stare, "Hi Mom!"
Olivia sighed happily, feeling calm for the first time in three days. "Hey." She walked over, leaned down and pressed a kiss onto the top of her daughter's head, "I missed you kid."
Serena squeezed her Mom back, "Uncle Fin said you were in rare form the last few days. He said you kicked some serious a-"
"I'll have to remember to remind Uncle Fin that you aren't allowed to use some of his favorite words." She said squeezing her sides.
Serena laughed, "Sorry. I was just calling to check in…"
Olivia smiled and ruffled her hair, "Sorry I didn't call yesterday. We were...pretty busy."
Serena nodded, "It's okay. I get it."
Olivia kissed the top of her head again, then walked around the counter as Elliot reached for her and pulled her in for a kiss, "Hi."
She touched his cheek with her hand and kissed him again, "Hi back."
Elliot watched as she threw the mail down on the counter and then went to wash her hands, "There is plenty of food. You hungry?"
"Starving." She said with a sigh as she went to dry her hands, she saw Serena reach for the mail on the counter, "You planning on helping to pay some bills there kid?"
Serena smiled but shook her head, "Not unless my weekly allowance will cover it."
Elliot and Olivia exchanged curious glances and then looked back at their daughter. Immediately they saw her face flush and she grabbed a letter from the pile and jumped off her seat. "Can I be excused?"
Elliot frowned at his daughter, "No. You've barely taken two bites. You need to eat your dinner."
Serena shook her head, "I'm not that hungry. I had a big lunch and-"
Olivia looked at her daughter carefully, "What is that?"
"Nothing." Her parents' gazes intensified and she blushed, "We are doing a penpal thing at school. Just a letter from a kid at another school."
Elliot rested his hands on the counter, "Why would your teacher have you give out your home addresses? It would be better to have them sent to school."
Serena swallowed hard, knowing she was treading into dangerous waters, "Oh...I sort of told my penpal. So we could...could write to each other outside of school."
Elliot raised an eyebrow at her, and his protective nature began to take over, "You gave a stranger our address?" Serena's face blushed, "Is this a boy or a girl?"
Serena rolled her eyes, "Dad don't even…it's not like that."
"Well what is it like?" He asked, trying to keep his voice calm but knowing he wasn't succeeding, "Serena who is this person?"
When she didn't answer he went to reach for the letter but she pulled it away, "Dad stop."
Elliot huffed loudly, "Serena Benson Stabler...give me that letter."
"It's my letter!" Serena said quickly, anger and frustration rising in her chest, "Isn't it a crime to read other people's mail?"
Olivia could feel the tension rising in the room and walked around the counter, "Serena...why wouldn't you tell Dad and I-"
"Because it's my business." She said with a glare back at her Mom, "I don't have to tell you everything you know."
"You are thirteen years old." Elliot grumbled, "Yes. You do. As long as you live under this roof you follow our rules. One of those rules is not giving out personal information to complete strangers. What were you thinking? You don't know this person!"
"Why does everything have to be dangerous to you two? I know you're cops but can't you give people the benefit of the doubt sometimes? Can't people change?" She said angrily, "Besides. He's not a stranger."
"He." Elliot said, eyes wide as the anger followed through him, "So it is a boy. Jesus Serena-"
"He's not a boy." Serena said with tears welling in her eyes, she looked down suddenly, very afraid to look at her parents, especially her Mother, "He's not...he's…
Olivia's heart started pounding, "Serena…" And then something hit her square in the chest, a realization as to what this could possibly be. "Please tell me you didn't…"
Elliot looked at his wife, trying to keep up, "Didn't what?" Olivia didn't answer and he was getting angrier, "Didn't what Liv?"
Olivia reached out and pulled the letter from her daughter and her heart dropped to her stomach, she hunched forward and gasped, "Serena no…"
Tears sprung from her daughter's eyes, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I just...I wanted to know him and-"
"Someone explain to me what the hell is going on." Elliot said pointing a finger at the counter, "Right now!"
"I...I found out where um...where my Grandpa was and I sort of wrote to him. I didn't think he would actually write back." She said with a frown.
Realization washed over Elliot and he suddenly felt sick, "You did what?"
Olivia's hands were shaking as she looked at the letter. She saw the writing and knew that Joseph Hollister had written this. He had touched this. He now knew where they lived. He knew he had a granddaughter named Serena. The same name as one of his first victims. Her stomach rolled at the thought of him somehow invading their personal space, her home.
Elliot reached out and ripped the letter from Olivia's hands, not believing what he was hearing, "Dad…" Serena begged.
Elliot turned to his daughter and shook his head, his nostrils flared and eyes were dark and intimidating, "Go to your room."
She stepped back, recoiling from his angry look, "Dad I'm sorry. I just-"
"I don't want to hear it." He said quickly, "Go to your room. Now!"
A soft cry fell from her lips and Serena turned to her Mom, she wanted to reach for her, "Mom, I'm so sorry. I just thought-"
Olivia shook her head and pushed away from the counter unable to process what was happening. "I need some air."
Elliot sighed, his anger subsiding and his worry taking over, "Liv…"
"I said, I need some air." She said walking straight for the door where she had only entered a few moments before.
Serena watched her Mother walking away in disbelief, something she never did, "Mom please don't-"
But the door whipped open and Olivia was gone before anyone could say anything. Elliot sighed behind the counter and knew as angry as he was, he had to address his daughter first. Olivia needed to blow off some steam before she could handle this. Serena turned on her heel and went to run towards the stairs and up to her room.
"Serena stop." She faltered for a moment and then went to move again, "Honey...wait. Just...wait."
She was full on crying now, "You told me to go to my room. I'm following your orders sir."
The bitterness in her voice made him uneasy, and the mocking tone as she said sir (something she never did) made him a little angry too, "Watch your tone."
Turning towards him, she wrapped her arms around herself, "You're not going after Mom?"
Elliot shook his head, "She'll come back when she's ready. She needs to cool off a bit. Process. Right now my daughter needs me."
It was quiet in the room, he could tell she was trying to sort through her thoughts. She was like both of her parents in that way, unable to deal with heavy emotions all at once. She was kind. She was good. She worked hard to be the best version of herself and help others. But hard emotions...often confused her. And this was the hardest of them all.
He sighed and held out his arms, "Come here."
Serena fidgeted where she stood, and then the sobs took hold and she ran to him without giving him a second thought, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Elliot wrapped his arms around her and pressed a kiss against the top of her head, "It's okay. Everything is going to be okay."
"Mom hates me." She sobbed into his chest, "She'll never forgive me. I didn't think he'd even write back. I just wanted…"
Her voice trailed away and Elliot wanted to understand her rationale, but he rubbed her back and whispered, "Take a breath kid. You're safe."
Serena pulled away and looked at him, "You're angry." He didn't respond and she frowned, "See...you are."
Elliot frowned, "Yeah kid...I'm angry. But it's complicated. I'm...angry at-" He pulled away and sighed, "I'm angry...but not at you. I'm upset, yes. I wish you had said something first. This is going to be a lot for your Mom...I know you have questions. And that's okay. But this wasn't the way to go about this."
Serena looked up at him and frowned, "Mom doesn't talk about him. I know you guys said he's in jail but I want to understand why. I mean I really think that people can change. And...maybe he has! Maybe he wants to know me. Don't I deserve to know the truth? Don't I deserve to know who I am?"
Swallowing hard, Elliot reached up and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, "Yes. You do. You do deserve to know the truth. But to answer your other question...some people can change. But not all people. And Joseph Hollister is one of those people who will never change. Even if he says he has...he hasn't. And I'm sorry if this is hard to hear but you're never going to be allowed to meet him. Not while I'm alive."
Serena sucked in her bottom lip and cringed, "Whatever he did...it was really bad then."
Elliot nodded slowly, "Yeah. It was really bad."
"But you won't tell me." She said eyeing him carefully, trying to read his expression.
Elliot was quiet, then he heard the door open and he looked up, "Not on my own."
Serena turned towards the door and saw her Mom walking back in the front door. "Mom…"
Olivia closed the door behind her and walked towards them, stopping about a foot away, "I think we need to talk."
Serena looked back at her Dad, "Dad?"
Elliot nodded slowly, "Go sit…"
Serena turned slowly and walked up to her Mom, "Mom I…"
Olivia reached out, pulled her into her arms and squeezed, "Just...just give me a second, okay?" Serena nodded slowly, "I'm sorry...I'm sorry I walked out. I just-"
Serena squeezed her, "It's okay. I shouldn't have…" Pulling away she looked at her Mom and then back at the couch, "I'll just…"
Olivia nodded slowly and let her daughter step around her and walk towards the living room. Taking a deep breath, Olivia walked back into the kitchen and up to her husband. He stood by the counter, waiting for her to make the first move. Looking up at him, she frowned and he put his hand out to her. She reached out, squeezed his large hand and then reached over to grab the letter where she had left it. Together, they walked towards the living room and sat across from Serena on the opposite couch.
Serena was fidgeting in her seat as she watched them and knew better than to push. She needed to be patient. She needed to wait until they spoke. Olivia looked down at the letter, leaned forward and threw it on the coffee table as if it had burned her. Serena cringed at the action and pushed further into the couch, wanting to get sucked into it and disappear. Her Mother was strong. The strongest woman she knew. But whatever this was...was clearly something that was very deep and very personal.
Olivia never talked about her childhood. Serena only knew that she lived with her Mother only and that she was named after her. She also knew that her Grandmother had some problems, mainly with alcohol. That was one thing she had learned. But she also knew that her Grandmother was a fighter in her own way. Just like her own Mother. And Serena hoped...just like she was too.
But all she knew about her Grandfather was that he was in prison. That he had been since she was born and no one ever spoke his name. No one ever explained why he was there. No one said what kind of relationship Olivia had with him. And at thirteen...she had been tired of waiting for answers.
Olivia took a deep breath, "How did you even figure out his name?"
Serena gave them a challenging look, "I have two Detectives as parents. I've picked up a thing or two over the years."
Elliot shot his daughter a warning look, "Serena...watch it."
He watched his daughter's face flush, "Sorry...sorry. I um…" She paused and shuffled on her seat, "I sort of found some papers in your office."
Olivia glared at her, "You went through my stuff?"
Serena sighed, "Well you never talk about it! I wanted to know. I saw his name...saw the prison address so I wrote a letter. I took a shot. I sent it weeks ago...I didn't expect him to respond."
Leaning forward, Olivia braced her elbows on her knees and sighed, "Serena...there is a reason I don't talk about him. He doesn't deserve…" She hung her head and sighed, "It's…I just…" Sighing, she looked up at her daughter and whispered, "I didn't tell you because it's going to be hard to hear. And because...I wanted to protect you. From...him."
Serena watched as her Father reached out and put a hand on Olivia's back, "Did...did he hurt you when you were little?"
Olivia shook her head, she focussed on the feel of Elliot's hand on her back, "No. I didn't know him when I was a kid. I only met him thirteen years ago…"
Serena's eyes went wide, "Thirteen years ago? You mean when...when you were pregnant with me?"
Olivia nodded slowly and sat up, Elliot pulled her against this side and she leaned into his embrace, "Serena you know what...what I do. What Dad used to do at SVU?"
Serena's face flushed, "You...investigate when kids are kidnapped. Or women are hurt...when they are ra-" She paused and then leaned back again, "Oh...oh no."
Olivia nodded slowly, "Serena...Joseph Hollister was a rapist. A serial rapist. He also murdered people. And he…"
"He raped Grandma Serena." She said quickly, "He...he…" She stood up slowly and felt her legs shaking, "Oh no."
"Serena…" Elliot said softly, "It's okay...calm down."
Their daughter looked over at Olivia and sighed, "You...you were…Grandma got..."
"Yes." Olivia whispered, "She got pregnant afterwards. And that's...that's where I came from."
Her legs gave out slightly and she fell back towards the couch again, "Mom…"
"I understand why you wanted to know. When I was your age...I wanted to know too. I had a lot of questions. He was my fa-" She cringed and looked away, "I don't like to refer to him as...as my father. Because he isn't. It's complicated. And it's...painful. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this too. But I can't...I can't let you meet him Serena. I know you believe in the good in people and God I love you for that. But he isn't good...he will never be good. And I'm begging you to not…"
Her voice cracked and Elliot rubbed her back again, "Breathe Liv…"
Sighing she looked up at her daughter, "You...are the best thing that ever happened to me Serena. And when I found out I was pregnant with you I was so happy. But I also learned who he was. All on the same day. It was...a lot. It's still a lot…"
"You helped put him in jail." Serena whispered, Olivia nodded, "While you were pregnant with me?"
"Yes." Olivia answered, "And I've worked really hard to not think about him since then. I understand why you want to meet him but Serena I can't handle that. I just...I can't. The thought of you…"
"I...I won't." Serena said quickly, "I won't...I won't meet him. I promise. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't think...I don't know what I thought really. I just wanted...I needed to know. I should have just talked to you but." Her lip trembled, "I was afraid."
Olivia looked straight at her daughter, "Well then that is my fault...I never want you to be afraid to come to me. Or your Dad. This is just...difficult. I'll answer anything you want to know. Or at least I'll try...but I need you to promise me that you won't continue to write to him."
Serena swallowed hard, "I won't." She looked down at the letter, "And I won't read that letter either."
Olivia looked down, "I...I can't force you to not read it."
Serena shook her head, "I don't want to know what it says. Not now...not when I know the truth."
"Are you sure?" Olivia asked, "I'll...deal with it if you want-"
"No." Serena said softly, "No. I don't want to know."
Elliot looked at his daughter, "If you need to read it to-"
Serena stood up, took the letter and walked towards the fireplace where Elliot had lit a fire earlier, "No."
"Serena, wait…" Olivia said softly, she turned to look at her Mom, "I need you to be really sure. I need you to make this decision for you...not for me. If you need to read that letter…then do it."
Serena looked down at the letter in her hands, took a deep breath and stared at the writing. She couldn't imagine there was anything that Joseph Hollister could say that would justify what he had done. There was nothing he could do to take back the pain he had caused. A part of her may always wonder what it said...but for the love of her Mother she knew she had to let go. Reaching out, she tossed the letter in the fire and watched as it burned. She heard her Mother let out a little sigh of relief behind her, slowly she turned and walked towards them.
Then she fell down between them and felt Olivia pull her into her arms, Elliot wrapped his own arms around both of them. He felt them both crying and his heart ached but he understood that they were right where they belonged and that everything was going to be okay. In time…
Later that night, Elliot was in their bedroom sitting on the bed. Olivia had gone into Serena's room to talk to her for a few minutes alone. He was so proud of her, and his daughter for handling things as well as they had. He knew that Olivia had been dreading this very conversation for years.
The door to the bedroom creaked open and he smiled when he saw her walking in. She smiled back, then slipped into the bathroom connected to their room. He heard the shower running and waited patiently. After a few minutes, he heard the water turn off and listened as she puttered around the bathroom. She emerged wearing one of his sweatshirts and a pair of leggings before she crawled up onto the bed.
She sighed and sat cross legged across from him, "Hi."
Reaching out, he took her hand and squeezed, "Hi."
Lifting her shoulders she sighed, "I'm taking a personal day tomorrow. Fin's running the ship for me."
Elliot nodded, "That's a good idea. I can skip work too. Maybe Serena can skip school?"
She nodded, "I think she needs it. I think we…" She frowned and moved to crawl up the bed, "That sucked."
Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her down onto the mattress, "I know. But you did amazing Liv."
"I walked out." She said with a shudder, "I walked out on our daughter…"
"But you came back. You took a walk around the block and you came back. It's okay. You need to clear your head." He said, giving her a squeeze.
"What do you think that letter even said?" She whispered to him, "What could he possibly have to say to her?"
"I don't know. And quite frankly...I don't want to know." He whispered.
Moving slightly, she rested her hands on his chest and then her chin over them so she could look at him, "She told me what she said to him…"
Elliot was surprised, he raised an eyebrow at her, "And?"
She scrunched up her nose, "She explained who she was...how old she was. Told him a bit about herself...the things she liked. She said she wanted to get to know him a little. Was curious about his life."
Elliot frowned, "Hm…"
Olivia swallowed hard, "It might be the cop in me...but I hate that he knows where we live now. I know he's in prison but it still feels…"
"I know." He whispered to her, "I sent a text to Casey. She's going to reach out to the prison and ensure that he doesn't write again. And they will listen for anything...off. But he's quite old now Liv. They say he's frail. In poor health…"
Olivia rolled off of him and stared at the ceiling, "May he have a slow and painful death…"
"Here, here." He said reaching for her hand, he paused then gave it a gentle squeeze, "Liv…"
Turning her head slightly, she tried to smile, "I'm okay. I just...was caught off guard. I wasn't expecting that. I knew we'd talk about it soon. She's gotten more curious. I just never imagined that she would write to him." She paused for a moment, "Maybe I should have talked to her sooner...I just wasn't ready."
"There was no wrong or right time. It's a sensitive topic...and if we had done it when she was younger it would have been more terrifying. She wasn't ready. She may not fully be ready now...but we had to tackle it." He said.
Olivia stared at him carefully, "You believe in hell…" He nodded slowly, "Think that's where he'll go?"
Elliot nodded slowly, "I think he's already partially there. But yes. He'll burn for eternity for what he did. To your Mother. All his victims...to you." He paused softly and whispered, "To Serena…"
Tears welled in her eyes, "I hoped that it wouldn't hurt her the way that it hurt me. But I see now that...it will always be there. No matter what."
"We can't change the past." He whispered to her, "You know that more than anyone. But Serena is so good. Just like her Mother."
A slow smile spread on her lips, "She is good...better than me. Better than I could have imagined. I hate that something like this could change her outlook on life. She believes in people...she wants to help. She wants to change the world and I know she can."
Elliot shifted in his spot and rested his head in his hand, "I think her goodness proves that we aren't all destined to be like our parents...our grandparents. She has a heart of gold Liv. She has since day one. Just like you."
She smiled at him and shook her head, "El…"
"You don't see it but it's true. You are so good. You help people every single day. You change the world just by being you." He reached a hand out to her, "Serena takes after you. I'm proud of you both."
Olivia stared at him, searched his blue eyes and whispered, "El...sometimes I think if I had never met you…" Her voice cracked and she frowned, "I think I would have given up. I think I would have…" Her eyes closed and she sighed, "I needed you. I still need you."
"I'm not going anywhere." He whispered and reached out to touch her cheek, "I'm right where I'm supposed to be Liv. With you."
She opened her eyes and he saw tears there, "Forever?"
He smiled and leaned into her, "I told you years ago. We're taking this to the afterlife baby...you're stuck with me."
She let out a little sigh of relief and leaned in to kiss him, "Nowhere else I'd rather be."
Elliot pulled her flush against his body and she immediately melted into his embrace. All thoughts of Joseph Hollister slipped from her mind when she felt him wrap her in his arms. He was her safety net. Her anchor when all things seemed lost. He always had been, and always would be. No matter what.
Well there it is...the end of this story. Onto the next! A few people asked if I would do a story about the current SVU/OC crossover episodes. I haven't ruled it out. But not right now.
I'm still planning otu the next story. Like I said, it will take place early in SVU. All I'll say is that it will take place when Elliot's kids are very young. Kathy will be...out of the picture. She will have left. Now...don't get me wrong...I cried like a baby in the current episodes when I learned her fate.
I have nothing against her really. I'm just...an E/O lover at heart. The particular story I want to write will either be really long or have a few sequels depending on how I choose to let it all play out. I'm super busy at work so I can't promise it will be up right away. But keep an eye out :)
Thanks for the continued support! Bensler Forever!