Love is Not Extinct
Chapter 10: Conflicted
Tuskishima tapped his finger on the table in a little coffee shop as he waited, trying not to think about the thing that had been on his mind far too much recently. He had already told himself he wasn't going to worry about it. He didn't have time to worry about this. But despite all that, it still plagued his mind. That dark, ridiculously messy hair, that crooked mischievous grin….No. He told himself, shaking his head as he took a sip of his coffee. This is not something I am allowing to happen.
No, Tsukishima Kei liked his life just the way it was. He wasn't looking for things to change the routine and structure that he had built for himself, and something told him that Kuroo would do just that. He was already starting to do that. Tsukishima had spent way too much time thinking about this.
Like the fact that, for the last few days since Tsukishima and Kuroo had run into each other, literally, at the bar, Kuroo hadn't texted him. He had expected that when he told the man that he was allowed to text him that he would be blowing up his phone constantly, despite Tsukishima's warning not to do so. The curiosity was getting the better of him, and just as he was about to open his phone to look at the last text he had sent to the journalist, someone sat down across from him, drawing his attention away from the phone.
"Sorry Tsukki!" Yamaguchi said, sounding out of breath. "I was headed out when the vice principal stopped me to ask me how I felt about having an assistant coach for the team." Yamaguchi pulled his bag off, setting it down by his feet before he began to unwrap his scarf. Tsukishima put his phone away and gave his friend his full attention.
"It's fine. I ordered for you already," he said casually, not noticing the way that his friend's smile seemed to brighten at the thoughtfulness. "You're getting an assistant coach then?"
"It seems so!" Yamaguchi was excited about the prospect. His team was getting bigger each year and he was really looking forward to having the extra help. "Apparently one of the new teachers that is starting this week has some experience in volleyball, no coaching experience, but he played all through school. He approached the administration about helping out with the team."
Tsukishima hummed in response as the waitress came back with their coffees before leaving once more. "That will be good then, as long as he is competent and won't just throw off your practice because he is in over his head trying to be a coach."
Yamaguchi's shoulders slumped slightly as he pouted a little at the thought. "I'm trying not to think too much about how things could go wrong. You don't really think he is going to try and take over things, do you Tsukki?"
Tsukishima raised his brow as he watched his friend staring down at his coffee with a puzzled and worried look on his face. "That's not what I said, but apparently that's what you are worried about." He took a sip of his coffee and leaned back in his chair. To an onlooker Yamaguchi wouldn't seem like he was all that worried, he looked down at his coffee but still had a smile on his face, but Tsukishima knew better. The corner of his lips twitched ever so slightly as he fought to keep up that positive smile, and his hands around his cup were tense. He could tell by the slight movement in his shoulders that the man was bouncing his leg under the table. "Tadashi, stop worrying. It's your team, your job."
"But what if he is better than me?" Yamacuchi looked up at the blonde with worry-filled eyes. "What if the team likes him better?"
Tsukishima sighed, rolling his eyes. "Shut up Yamaguchi." His friend flinched but looked up at Tsukishima, feeling oddly calmed by those three words. "If you act like that and get all wishy-washy about it then he is going to do just that. It will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. You have your team's respect so just don't let this guy walk all over you. You're the head coach so stop being a baby and act like it."
At his words, Yamaguchi stared at his friend with wide eyes for a moment before his lips split into a wide grin, his eyes closing as he reached up, rubbing the back of his head, a little self conscious that he had to be called out for being such a worry-wart. "Sorry Tsukki, you're right." Still smiling, and feeling like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, he looked back as Tsukishima, watching the way he held his mug with one hand, fingers interlaced between the handle as he glances out the window, watching the people walk by bundled up in their coats to keep out the cold. "I was surprised when you said you were getting off early today. Oikawa-san let you off early?"
"Yeah, he let most of the office take a half day as a reward for the extra work we had to put in for the trick-or-treating event." Pressing his lips together, he glared out the window. Despite the current conversation, he found his mind still slipping back to the night at the club and annoyingly fussing over the implications of his conversation with the sports journalist. "Hey, Yamaguchi..."
"Yeah Tsukki?" He looked up, wiping away some whipped cream that had stuck to the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand.
"You've asked a guy out before, right?"
His friend didn't answer at first, just stared at him blinking, too shocked to know what to say. When he finally did answer it was a stuttered, jumbled sentence. "I... Me... Ask...Guy...What? N-n-no, not really." he admitted sheepishly.
"Not even just out for drinks?" Tsukishima wracked his brain, trying to think back through all the time that they had known each other. Had he ever seen Yamaguchi asking someone out? It was hard to tell, his friend didn't really date that much so he didn't have a lot of reference.
"Uh, no…" he responded shyly, feeling self conscious about his lack of experience, before his eyes seemed to double in size as a thought came to him. "Uh Tsukki, why do you ask though? Are you planning to ask someone out?"
Yamaguchi couldn't help but feel his heart clench at the thought that his friend might be interested in someone. But who could it be? Someone from work? But that didn't make sense, they didn't have any female staff that he worked closely with. Outside of work Tsuksihima didn't spend time with a lot of other people outside their own friend group. Who could it be?
"No," Tsukishima responded calmly and Yamaguchi felt his shoulders relax as he took a sip of his coffee to hide the relieved smile he could feel growing on his lips. "I think someone asked me out."
Yamaguchi nearly choked on his drink.
"What?"
"I think I might have agreed to go on a date with someone."
Blinking, it took Yamaguchi a moment to process what his friend had just said to him. I think I might have agreed to go on a date with someone. His heart was pounding in his ears as he watched his best friend's calm expression as the blonde sipped his coffee and patiently waited for Yamaguchi's brain to catch up with the information he had just been given.
"You think?" Yamaguchi finally responded, a little too loudly, drawing the attention of other patrons in the coffee shop. Shrinking his shoulders with an apologetic look, he lowered his voice as he stared back at Tsukishima in astonishment. "What do you mean, you think? Who? When? What did they say? What did you say?" The questions flew out of him as fast as his voice could manage and he felt out of breath.
Tsukishima waited patiently for Yamaguchi to be finished before he answered. His voice was calm and rather nonchalant but Yamaguchi could see the way his friends brows furrowed slightly and the tug at the corner of his lip as he fought a frown. "I mean I'm not exactly sure what I agreed to. I don't have any experience to draw from when it comes to dating men outside of what I have seen with your relationships.
"The other night at the club I ran into that train station guy, the sports journalist, and he bought me a drink. We talked for a little bit and when I was leaving he asked if I would be up for going out for a drink sometime. I agreed but now I'm not sure what exactly I agreed to."
Yamaguchi swallowed, trying not to overthink everything. But it was hard not to. The sports journalist Tsukishima had encountered at the train station was clearly interested in him, interested enough to try and get his normally antisocial friend to agree to meet with him again and he worried what that meant. Watching Tsukishima, Yamaguchi could tell that his friend was troubled by the encounter and uncomfortable not knowing what exactly the journalist's motives were.
"Well…" Yamaguchi finally said with a little hesitation. He wasn't sure why he was so hesitant to be honest with his friend about his opinion regarding the man's intentions. Was he worried how Tsukishima would react when he knew the truth? "I can't really say for sure, but it sounds to me like he wanted to ask you out on a date, but wasn't sure how you would react to it so he, uh… wanted to test the waters to see how you would react and give himself some insight in to whether or not you would be interested in a official date in the future."
Tsukishima pondered his friend's words and thought back on the interaction at the club with Kuroo. It made sense to him, a lot of sense, and it answered the question that had been plaguing his mind as to why the outspoken journalist was so insistent on getting to know him. He sighed, leaning back in his chair, not wanting to deal with this. He should just text Kuroo and tell him he changed his mind, he wasn't interested, and make it clear that he has no intention of having any sort of relationship with the man, romantically or otherwise.
But something inside him made him reluctant.
At the club, once he had let his guard down and they got talking, he had to admit that he didn't find the messy-haired man all too annoying. They had been able to talk easily and, without realizing it, Tsukishima had found himself actually enjoying the conversation. It was strange to him. It had been a long time since he had branched out to meet someone new, he usually found it so troublesome. But that night, it really hadn't been all that bad.
"You are interested in him, aren't you?" Yamaguchi said, watching him intently. It took everything in him to keep any emotion out of his tone as he asked this.
"Romantically?" Tsukishima asked, looking back as his friend who was sipping his coffee with curious eyes fixed on him. "No, not really. I mean, I guess, objectively I could see why someone would be interested in him as a partner. He is easy to talk to, when he isn't being annoying, and despite his ridiculous hair he is handsome…" His voice trailed off as he realized what he just admitted to.
Yamaguchi stared at him in disbelief before setting his mug down and lifting the back of his hand up to his mouth to cover his snickers at the look of surprise and embarrassment on Tsukishima's face. Yamaguchi's reaction only caused Tsukishima's cheeks to redden as he glared at his friend.
"Shut up, Yamaguchi." He folded his arms with a frown and the tension Yamaguchi had been feeling was broken.
"Sorry Tsukki," Yamaguchi replied, but despite his apology, he was still fighting the urge to laugh and a wide smile spread across his lips. He really is adorable when he gets flustered… Yamaguchi thought and a warmth filled his chest that had nothing to do with his hot beverage.
Tsukishima watched his son walking just ahead of him with his arms held out to keep his balance as the boy put one foot in front of another on the edge of a low brick wall. The boy was nearly bouncing with excitement to be spending the afternoon at his best friend's house for the first time. His father couldn't help but smile a little watching the boy, remembering what it was like to be his age and how excited he would get to go over to Yamaguchi's home.
"Sugawara-san just texted me," Yamaguchi said, drawing his friend's attention back to the slightly shorter man walking next to him who was looking down at his phone. "Daichi-san and Yui-san just got back from Daichi's follow-up with the doctor, who told them that everything looked good and that he should have a smooth recovery. He said the wound was pretty big but still only a knick, so he should be back to work and volleyball in a couple weeks."
Yamaguchi smiled, looking back up at Tsukishima, relieved. When they had first gotten the news about their friend being involved in a shooting while on duty he had been worried sick. He was happy to know that it wasn't anything big and that Sawamura would be back to his normal routine in no time.
He smiled as another text came in from Sugawara, before reading it aloud for Tsukishima. "I guess he still insists on coming to practice Saturday morning even though he won't be able to play with us for a few weeks."
Tsukishima smirked and shook his head. "Ever the dutiful captain." He snickered, using the unofficial title that the casual team had given the police officer.
"Look! Look!" Haruhisa exclaimed, drawing the men's attention to him as he jumped off the wall and pointed up at the red brick building. "Nekoma Apartment Complex. This is it!" He read the sign that was posted in front of the old but well maintained building, grinning from ear to ear.
"He is way too excited about this." Tsukishima shook his head but smiled affectionately at his son.
Haruhisa, unable to contain his excitement any longer, ran ahead quickly, heading towards the entrance at the side of the building. He was in such a hurry that he wasn't paying attention to his surroundings and, as he turned the corner around a rather tall hedge fence, entering the apartment complex property, he collided with something solid and fell right back onto his butt with a thud.
"Oi, hey there little man. You should watch where you are going."
Looking up, Haruhisa's eyes met with a single hazel eye that seemed very cat-like and he couldn't tell if the man looking down at him had malicious intentions or was just genuinely amused that the boy had been so careless and had fallen. Reaching his hand out towards the boy, the messy haired man grinned.
"Here, let me help you up. You should be more careful."
Haruhisa was hesitant but finally put his hand into the man's much larger one, allowing himself to be pulled up with surprising ease just as his father and Yamaguchi came running around the corner.
"Haru!" Tsukishima called, skidding to a stop as they came around the hedge. "You know better than to just run off where I can't…" His voice trailed off as Tsukishima's eyes met the man who was helping his son to his feet. The man smirked at him as he let go of his son's hand and adjusted the duffle bag that was slung over his shoulder.
"Well, well, if it isn't the Dino Guy. Nice to see you again."