Boris Yeltsin: Thank you!

DuncneyLoveOfMyLife: Hahaha, yeah, Claudia's not a very good mom. I always wanted SO BADLY to see her on the show and get to see Hanna interacting with her, though! She definitely would have LOVED Hanna on the show, just like Jamie did! As you'll see in this chapter, Caleb's at his breaking point, but come on, do you blame him? Hanna's been stringing him along for months and he's over it! But it'll all work out in the end, I promise!

Caleb could tell Hanna was asleep by the way her breathing had evened out, slow and steady, the only sound in the otherwise silent room. He tried to fall asleep, too, but just tossed and turned, his mind racing, so, eventually, he gave up, instead going out to his small back deck, flicking on the light, and sitting down in one of the chairs as a million thoughts swirled around his head. Most of his thoughts centered around what his mother had said, and the realizations he had come to as a result, that he was completely and totally in love with Hanna, and wanted to be with her. Of course, he was pretty sure he had already known this, but he had actually said it out loud for the first time, making it all the more real.

After a little while - or a long while, he wasn't really sure - a familiar voice broke him from his thoughts.

"Hey, you," Hanna said quietly as she opened the sliding glass door.

He turned at the sound of her voice, watching as she made her way over to him before settling herself on his lap, his arms instinctively moving to circle her waist.

"I missed you," she told him softly, looking down at him as he held her.

"You were asleep," he chuckled.

"Yeah," she confirmed, brushing some of his dark hair away from his face. "But then I woke up and reached for you and you weren't there."

"Couldn't sleep," he mumbled. She didn't need to know about everything that was haunting him right now.

"How come?" she asked gently, playing with his fingers.

"Just...got a lot on my mind, I guess. Thinking too much." He hoped she would just leave it at that, but he knew her well enough to know that she wouldn't.

"Well, what were you thinking about?" she probed. "Were you thinking about me?" she asked teasingly, a smile dancing on her plump lips.

"I'm always thinking about you," he said honestly. "How could I not be thinking about you? We're intimate."

He couldn't believe he had just said that. He really needed to be more careful about what he let slip when he was around her.

He felt the blood rush to his cheeks as they both processed what he had said, and even in the dim light, she could see the pink hue they had taken on.

"Can we pretend I did not just say that?" he begged, humiliated. He seriously couldn't believe he had just used the I-word to describe their relationship. Their affair.

"I don't think I've ever seen you blush before," Hanna murmured, using the pad of her thumb to stroke the flushed skin tenderly. "It's cute."

He closed his eyes, internally berating himself. He couldn't be trusted around her. Any day now, he was about to blurt out his feelings for her, wasn't he?

"And no, we can't pretend you didn't say it, because I think it's really sweet that you did. And besides, it's true. We are intimate," she said teasingly, grinning at him.

"You know, babe, guys don't want to be called 'sweet' or 'cute.' We have reputations to maintain, you know," he informed her, smirking at her, trying to distract her and change the subject from his slip-up.

"Well, you are sweet," she argued. "You're so sweet. Which is not something I ever expected to say when I first met you, so you should really appreciate it instead of complaining."

When he rolled his eyes, she sighed.

"Fine. What do guys want us to call them, then?" she questioned.

He considered it for a moment.

"Well, we want women to think we're sexy and strong and confident," he replied melodramatically, making sure Hanna knew that he was only half-serious.

"Well, you are very sexy, I'll give you that," she agreed, fixing him with her most smoldering gaze as his hands ran up under the T-shirt she had on, rubbing the smooth, tight skin of her abs gently. "I'm not so sure about the 'strong' part though. I think you've been spending too much time with me and not enough time at the gym," she mocked.

His mouth dropped open in shock.

"Excuse me?" he exclaimed, tightening his grip around her to show her just how strong he was, and tickling her until she was laughing uncontrollably.

"Stop...stop...stop!" she gasped between breaths, unable to control her laughing until he stopped tickling her.

"Fine," she huffed, running her hand down one of his biceps that was exposed due to the fact that he was shirtless. "I guess you're pretty strong, too," she gave in.

"Thank you," he said pointedly, satisfied with her response. "And you think I've been spending 'too much' time with you?" he asked incredulously. In his mind, there was no such thing as "too much" time with Hanna. Just "never enough."

"No," she countered her previous statement, agreeing with him that they could never spend "too much" time together. "Not too much. Never too much."

They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Hanna spoke again.

"So what else were you thinking about? Besides how intimate we are?" So he was clearly never going to live that one down.

"I was thinking about the day you got sick," he admitted after a pause. "The day I brought you to the E.R."

"Caleb - " she started, sighing. She knew how guilty he felt about that day, but he had nothing to be guilty about. And she was totally fine anyway.

"I was so worried about you," he breathed out.

"I'm fine. And that's all thanks to you," she reminded him, her thumbs rubbing soothing circles on his hands.

"I don't know what I would have done if something happened to you," he said, so seriously, so sincerely, his eyes locked on hers. "You know how important you are to me, right?"

"I know," she said softly, nodding, her hands moving to run gently through his hair. "You are so important to me, too. But you can't think like that," she told him. "I'm okay."

"I wanted to be there," he said quietly. "I was so worried about you, and all I wanted was to be there with you. To see for myself that you were okay." He thought back to that day, how hard it was for him to leave. To just leave her there, not even knowing what was wrong, or if she was going to be alright.

"I know," she said again. "I wanted you there, too," she admitted. It was true. She had been shocked by how much she wanted him there. She had thought that between her parents and Jordan being there almost non-stop, and her friends on rotation, she would be fine without Caleb. But she had found herself thinking about him constantly, wishing he was the one there to hold her hand, wishing he was the one there to get on her last nerve by being suffocatingly attentive.

"God, Han, I hate this," he groaned, tightening his grip around her.

"Hate what?" she asked gently, rubbing the back of his neck soothingly, leaning down to place a kiss against his forehead.

"You are...the most important person in my life, by far," he told her. "I mean, we spend pretty much all of our free time together. But then when something bad happens, a time when you actually need me, a time when I want, more than anything, to be there for you, I'm not allowed. I couldn't even call you, Hanna!" As much as he had longed to hear her voice during those days she was in the hospital, he didn't know where her phone was, or who would see it if he called. "I had to get all my information through Spencer, who clearly didn't even want to give it to me."

"Caleb, I'm sorry," she murmured, stroking his cheek. "I wish you could have been there, too, believe me. That was the worst part of the entire thing - being apart from you for so long. But you were there for me. You're the one who got me to the hospital, 'cuz Lord knows I wouldn't have done it myself if you weren't there," she attempted to lighten the mood, but it didn't work. Caleb didn't even crack a smile. "And then when I got out of the hospital, and everyone else left, you were the one there for me again."

"Han, you're the most important person in my life," he repeated. "But I'm hardly even a part of yours."

"That's not true," she argued softly. He had it all wrong. He was a huge part of her life, the best part of her life...just not her public life. She knew that wasn't fair to him, but they didn't really have many options.

"Yes, it is," he said begrudgingly. "Or, at least, maybe it should be."

He didn't even know why he was saying this; he didn't mean it. He didn't want to lose her, wasn't ready to give her up. So why was he saying it?

"Caleb, stop," she chastised. "That's not really what you want, is it?" she asked worriedly. She knew it definitely was not what she wanted.

He wasn't even sure what he wanted anymore. Other than Hanna, completely. But he knew that wasn't really possible. Or was it?

Hanna and Jordan were sitting on their back deck, sharing a bottle of wine, as he told her all about his most recent business trip, to San Francisco. He was in the middle of a, frankly, quite dry, story about permits and codes and the local laws restricting their latest real estate development project, when Hanna felt her phone vibrate in her pocket.

She took it out to see a text from Caleb; Hey, can we talk?

That was never a good question, and she was worried immediately. Since their middle-of-the-night conversation about their role in each others' lives a couple of weeks ago, she hadn't seen much of him. Jordan had come home the next day, and had been here ever since, so she hadn't gotten the opportunity to see him outside of the office, and, in the office, he seemed distant, like he was avoiding her. She didn't really know where they stood.

Yeah, of course!, she managed to type out, while still pretending to pay attention to her husband's story.

Now?

This made her even more nervous; he usually kept his distance when he knew Jordan was home, neither of them wanting to raise any suspicions about their relationship.

Sure. I'll be right over.

She could tell this was urgent, so she put down her wine glass, stood up abruptly, and apologized to Jordan, making up some excuse about Aria having a relationship crisis, and needing her advice on what to do about Jason.

Hanna let herself into Caleb's house with the key he had made for her, calling out for him as she walked in.

He didn't answer, but she found him in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, arms crossed, an open bottle of beer by his side, staring off into space blankly.

She was even more worried now. What was going on? Was he okay?

"Hey," she greeted him, leaning in to place a kiss on his lips. The kiss was brief, and he didn't seem to reciprocate at all.

"What's going on?" she murmured, stroking his cheek gently.

He didn't look at her, just kept staring off into space, without even acknowledging her presence.

Her heart started beating faster as she became increasingly nervous; he was really scaring her.

"Is this about your dad?" They hadn't really talked about his dad much at all since that night in the park - she had tried to bring it up and he just brushed her off - but that was the only other time she had seen him like this, so she didn't know what else it could be.

They stood in complete silence for a while, until he finally spoke.

"I can't keep doing this, Han," he told her, and she could immediately hear the pain in his voice.

"Doing what?" she asked him gently, confused, but she was afraid she already knew the answer.

"I can't keep...sneaking around with you, and... and being your dirty little secret, and...feeling guilty and ashamed of being with you while you go home and play house in your mansion with your perfect husband," he told her, his voice cracking.

"What are you saying?" she asked him quietly. She knew their situation wasn't ideal, but she thought it was working for them. As much as she wished everything wasn't so complicated, she would rather have Caleb like this, than not at all.

At that moment, Brody came running in from the backyard, breaking the tension a little bit. But Caleb knew he would just serve as a distraction from the important conversation they needed to have.

"Brody!" he called out to him as he ran in circles around the kitchen. The golden retriever stopped and looked up at his owner. "Crate!" Caleb demanded, pointing in the direction of his bedroom where Brody's crate was located. The dog looked between Hanna and Caleb before obediently making his way to his crate.

They both watched the dog walk away, staying silent, until Caleb spoke up and continued their conversation.

"I'm saying...I want you, Hanna." He grabbed both of her hands with his, looking deeply into her eyes. "I want more of you than just whenever your husband's away, or when you can sneak out for a few hours for a quick fuck. I want more of you than just the secrets and the lies and the hiding. I want all of you. I want you in my life, forever, but not like this. I want to be able to hold your hand in public, and take you out on dates without having to go fifty miles away. I want to introduce you to my friends, I want to meet your family. I feel like I only exist in half of your life, Hanna. And that's not good enough for me!"

She was overwhelmed by his confession, and considered the implication, realizing what he was asking of her. She pulled her hands from his as she ran one hand through her hair, contemplating what to say next.

"Are you asking me to leave my husband?" she finally asked him, a million thoughts running through her head.

"I'm asking you to choose. Him or me." He was tired of feeling like second-best to Jordan; he wanted Hanna all to himself.

"Caleb," she breathed out, feeling the tears burning her eyes. If it was that simple, Caleb or Jordan, she would choose Caleb in a heartbeat. In the months since she had met him, he had made her feel things she had never felt before, made her question everything, made her think about everything in a different way.

But it wasn't just about Caleb versus Jordan. It was her lifestyle, her home, her friends, her hobbies, her family's approval, her marriage, her plans for the future. She didn't think she was ready to give all of that up.

"That's not fair, Caleb. It's not that simple," she told him, the tears threatening to spill over.

"Not fair?" he exclaimed. She flinched as he raised his voice. "But it's fair for me to be here for you every single time he leaves again, fair for me to drop whatever I'm doing to spend time with you when it works for you, fair for me to sacrifice everything to be with you, all while you're running home and planning a future with someone else? Do you know what it's like for me having to see the two of you together? It kills me, Hanna. It kills me having to see you in his arms, acting like the perfect happy couple, when I know that you should be in my arms instead!"

"Look, I know this sucks, Caleb, and I wish it wasn't like this. But you knew what you were getting into!" She was angry now, too. He couldn't put all of the blame on her. "You knew I was married, you knew we could never have a 'normal' relationship!"

"And I was okay with that in the beginning!" he exclaimed. It was true; he hadn't planned on this thing with Hanna actually going anywhere. He just really enjoyed having sex with her, and sneaking around behind her husband's back had definitely added to the thrill of it all. "I was! We were just having fun and messing around, and I was okay with that. But things change, Hanna! I wasn't expecting to fall in love with you!" He stopped talking abruptly, realizing what he had just said.

She stared back at him, her mouth open slightly in shock. She knew she felt the same way about him. Of course she did - how could she not? But neither of them had ever said it out loud before. There was no point. That wasn't the type of relationship they had, and they both knew it never could be, no matter how much they wished it could be. Or, at least, she thought they both knew that.

"Caleb, don't do this - " Hanna started, at the same time Caleb grabbed her hands again, and began his own speech.

"You know what, I don't care! I said it, I love you, Hanna. I love you so fucking much. You are my favorite person in the entire world, and I am crazy about you. I love your smile, I love your laugh, I love the way you scrunch up your nose when you see something you don't like, I love the way your eyes light up when you see something you do like, I love the way you look at me when we're all alone and don't have to worry about who's around, I love how much you always want to help everyone, I love how you know all the words to every Taylor Swift song ever written, I love that you know every single move of the Hoedown Throwdown, and can even do it completely and totally drunk without missing a step. I love you, Hanna. I love you so much." He broke off, breathing hard.

She couldn't stop the tears from falling now. God, this was so hard. This was never supposed to happen. This was just supposed to be fun for both of them; they were never supposed to actually fall for each other.

"Caleb," she started, squeezing his hands. "I wish it were that simple."

"It can be," he urged her.

"Caleb, Jordan and I - " he shuddered as she said his name. "We have so much history. We have a marriage. We have a life together. We have a plan."

"Well, plans change, Hanna," he argued, pleading with her. "I know I'll never make as much money as he does, I'll never be able to give you everything you're used to, but if you let me, I will love you, I will love the hell out of you."

He paused as she laughed through her tears.

"Hanna, I will love you, with everything that I am, every day, until the day I die. Probably even after that. We could be amazing together, Han. I know we would be."

She believed him. And while he said all of this, it was easy to imagine it. But she had to face reality; she would be giving up so much to be with Caleb. Marrying someone like Jordan, educated, from a good family, with money and success, had been what she had prepared for her entire life. She didn't know anything different. And she didn't know if she was ready to go so far out of her comfort zone.

"Caleb," she started, her voice breaking. "This is the only life I've ever known. You can't just...expect me to uproot my entire life for a chance at a relationship with you."

"I would," he said simply. "I would literally do anything for you, Hanna."

She knew it was true. And that's what she was afraid of - she couldn't give him as much as he could give her.

"And besides, Hanna, you would not be 'uprooting your entire life,'" he echoed, shocked. "He is not your entire life; he's hardly even a part of your life! You're here, in my bed every night. I am the one who puts up with you kicking me all night long, puts up with you stealing all my blankets, puts up with your hair clogging my shower. I'm the one who lets you eat cold French fries in my bed. Which, by the way, is not normal, Hanna, it's disgusting, and you're the only person I know who eats them cold! I'm the one who fills up your gas tank because otherwise you won't do it until it starts beeping! I'm the one who apologizes to the waiter when you act like a brat and send your food back, because he breathed on it funny. He's never even here, Hanna!"

In the past several months, they had created a life together. They had fallen into a routine, learned each others' habits, and he knew, with complete certainty, that a life with Hanna was exactly what he wanted.

"Sorry, I didn't realize I was such a bother!" she snapped back.

"God, Hanna, that wasn't my point!" he exclaimed. He didn't want her to think he was complaining. That wasn't it at all. He wanted it. All of it. Yes, she drove him absolutely crazy sometimes, but he loved everything about her, loved everything about every second he got to spend with her.

"You know what, yeah, you are a real pain in the ass sometimes!" he continued. "But I don't care. I would gladly put up with all of it, if it meant I actually got to be with you! I want you in my life. Forever, Hanna."

It was true. She was definitely a lot to handle. But that's what he loved most about her. He never knew what to expect; it was always an adventure with her, and he didn't want it to end.

She didn't know how to respond to this, so she went back to his previous point. "You know, that is not fair, he has to travel. For work. He has a job and a career, that he's working really hard to succeed at."

"Unlike me," he finished for her.

"I didn't say that!" she argued.

"But it's what you meant. So that's what this is about? Money?" he asked her, disgusted. "I'm not good enough for you? I'm not rich enough for you? You're prepared to stay in a loveless marriage for the rest of your life, just so you can keep hosting these fancy parties, keep living it up in your ridiculous mansion, and never have to do any actual work? I thought you were better than that." He shook his head. "When I first met you, I thought you were spoiled and snobby and stuck-up. But then you actually managed to trick me into thinking you were different. You really had me fooled. But you're just like the rest of the rich, selfish, money-obsessed 'elite' who couldn't care less about anything or anyone, as long as you can make a profit from it."

His words stung. After all of the time they had spent together over the last almost-year, how could he seriously think that about her? She was different, or at least, she tried so hard to be, and she wanted him to see that.

"And you never gave a fuck about me at all, did you?" he continued. "I was just the guy you'd come to for sex because you weren't getting any from your husband. And then as soon as he was back, you'd go running home to play the role of the doting wife."

He knew he was being harsh, but he was so angry and so hurt, that he couldn't stop the words from spilling out of his mouth. He felt guilty as soon as he saw the devastated look on Hanna's face, though, and wished he could take it all back.

"Caleb, stop!" she begged, tears streaming down her face. "Don't say that. You know that's not true. I care about you so much. You are so important to me, Caleb."

It was true. She did care about him so, so much. He had started out as just the rude, arrogant, cocky jerk she was forced to work with on Veronica Hastings' campaign. Then he became the most incredible...fuck buddy, who somehow knew her body better than anyone else ever had, that she turned to every time her husband was out of town. But then things changed, and she saw the sweet, caring, sensitive side of him. And they opened up to each other in ways they never had with anyone else, and they actually enjoyed spending time together doing things other than just sex. And now, somehow, he had become someone she couldn't, and didn't want to, imagine her life without.

She wanted to tell him she loved him, too, so much, but she stopped herself. She knew it would just make it more difficult for both of them.

"Hanna, if you can stand there and look me in the eyes, and tell me you're not in love with me, too, tell me you love him more than me, tell me you're completely happy in your marriage, I will give up. I will let you walk out that door and pretend this never happened, pretend we never happened."

"Caleb, you know I can't do that," she admitted tearfully. "And you know that's not what I want." How could he think she would want to pretend they never happened? How could he not know how much he means to her? "But that doesn't mean I can just leave him for you."

"Yes, you can, Hanna! You have a choice, and I am begging you to make the right one. You're just scared. You've never known love like this, and it scares you. But this is what you want, Hanna, I know it is. You want a love that consumes you. You want passion and...adventure. I can give that to you! But you'll never have that with him! You're comfortable with him, because you know you don't love him too much. But you know that this-" he gestured between the two of them. "You could actually get hurt, because what we have is so much stronger.

"Hanna, you deserve so much more. Don't you see that? You are beautiful and smart and ambitious and kind and hilarious, and the best person I've ever met. You can do so much more, be so much more, than just a trophy wife trapped in a loveless marriage. You deserve better, Han."

"Caleb, please don't do this!" she cried. "Let's just go back to the way things were before. Because... I can't lose you."

"Then don't, Hanna!" he argued. "Pick me! Be with me! Start a new life - with me! We could be amazing together, Han," he said again. He truly believed that this should be an easy decision for her. He knew that what they shared was special, once-in-a-lifetime. They were meant to be together. He didn't understand why she was holding onto him.

But when he looked into her tear-filled eyes, he saw it in her face. He realized, for the first time, that he was never going to win this battle. She was too afraid of what they shared, too afraid to leave what she knew. His mother had been right after all.

"I'm sorry, Caleb. I am so so so sorry," she whispered through her tears.

He pulled her into his arms and she buried her face in his chest.

"I know," he murmured into her hair. He understood how hard this was for her, and how dissolving a marriage wasn't an easy decision. But he had really believed she would choose him. He knew he couldn't provide for her in the same way Jordan could, but he knew that he would love her, more than anything in the world, every single day for the rest of their lives; he could provide for her in a different way.

They stayed like that for a long time, and he could feel her tears soaking through his shirt.

But neither of them wanted to let go. They both knew that when she walked out that door, it was the end for them. And neither of them was ready for that. But if Hanna was going to make her marriage work, and if Caleb wanted any chance of moving on and falling for someone who was actually available, they needed to let each other go.

Eventually, he pulled away, looking down at her tear-stained face.

"You should probably go," he told her quietly.

He watched as her sobs, that had finally just slowed down a little bit, returned in full force, racking through her body.

"I don't want to," she managed to get out between sobs, hugging him again, clinging to him tightly like her life depended on it. And, in that moment, it felt like it did depend on it.

"I know," he murmured, his heart breaking. "Me, neither." He wanted to keep her in his arms forever and never let her go. But apparently that wasn't what she wanted. And he couldn't force her to choose him. But he also couldn't keep doing this, only having her half-way. It had gotten way too difficult.

He held her close, memorizing her scent, squeezing her tightly and kissing the top of her head.

As she pulled away, she looked up at him, her eyes still glistening with tears. He cupped her wet face in his hands, leaning in to kiss her one last time. It was slow, but passionate, both of them trying to convey all of their feelings for each other in that one small action. She parted her lips, and he slipped his tongue into her mouth, touching hers once, twice, before pulling back.

"Goodbye, Caleb," she murmured, staring into his eyes, and squeezing his hand tightly.

"Goodbye, Hanna."

On her car ride home, Hanna couldn't stop the sobs, and had to pull over multiple times, unable to see through the tears in her eyes.

When she got home, she was relieved to see Jordan already asleep in their bed. She didn't want to have to explain her bloodshot eyes and tear-stained face to him. She was too emotionally drained to even change her clothes; she just slipped into the bed beside him, closed her eyes, and found sleep almost immediately.

Please don't hate me, guys! It had to happen. But don't worry: "I didn't come this far not to have a happy ending." It's coming, I promise!

And I told you there were going to be references to my other favorite ships in this story...Did you catch the Delena one here?

Also, TBH, y'all kinda let me down with your reviews last chapter (the lack of reviews, not the quality of the ones I did get!), so please don't forget to review! I'm sure you all have plenty of opinions on this one, good and bad, and I want to hear them all!