Hey, guys! So so sorry this took so long, but school has been kicking my butt lately! And the other reason it took so long is because of how much I wrote, so, SURPRISE, this actually isn't the last chapter! I decided to split the epilogue into two parts so you didn't have to read over 18,000 words in one sitting, and I like 25 chapters better than 24, anyway!
There was just so much I wanted to include, and I think I included a little bit of everything for you guys; we've got heart-to-hearts, we've got dirty talk, we've got sweet talk, and we've got flashbacks to lots of important things in between because I know you guys probably hate me for ending the story as soon as Haleb got together. So at least you get some flashbacks to things we missed out on!
Boris Yeltsin: Nope, not wrong! We're at the epilogue now! Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy! And haha, yup, probably pretty accurate!
AshBenzoLove: Happy Haleb, of course! If I had it my way, Haleb would always be happy! Here's a little peek into what they've been up to in New York! Thanks for reading!
DuncneyLoveOfMyLife: Let me start off by saying, I'm going to miss your reviews so much! :( And yes, 6B and 7A were the WORSSSSTTTTTT! IMO, 6B was worse, though. At least Hanna broke up with Boring by the second episode of Season 7, and as you mentioned, Caleb was already blowing off Spencer in the first episode! THAT WAS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE! Caleb was literally saying I DO NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU! WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?! For supposedly being the smart one, Spencer is so freakin' dumb! YOU KNEW HE WAS STILL IN LOVE WITH HANNA! YOU SAID IT YOURSELF - HE'S THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO HER! I hate the writers so much for ruining two great friendships (three if you count Caleb/Toby, but I don't really care about them), and completely changed Spencer from being a total Haleb shipper who was rooting for them to end up together to having her completely fuck Hanna over. SPENCER HASTINGS IS A SHITTY FRIEND AND I WILL DIE ON THAT HILL. But oh my gosh, yes, when Hanna went missing and that's literally all Caleb cared about, and when he started yelling at Spencer as soon as she got there because Mona followed her, and then when he hung up on her, and then when he went over to comfort Hanna right in front of her, THAT WAS THE BEST. THE SELFISH BITCH GOT WHAT SHE DESERVED! I also love that Caleb basically called being with Spencer a disaster and said he would have regretted it for the rest of his life if he had ended up with her instead of Hanna ("We almost ended up with different people, which would have been a complete disaster, because I would have spent the next 50 years of my life kicking myself for losing the best thing that's ever happened to me.") That's how I interpret it at least: FUCK SPENCER. And yeah, I think it's way worse that Spencer hooked up with random guys that she barely knew all the time while she was dating other people, when Hanna and Caleb literally just kissed the loves of their lives right before Hanna risked her life, but oh my gosh, wow, they're soooo awful! So glad you liked the chapter! Caleb can never say no to Hanna! OH MY GOSH, PLEASE DO! I MISS HALEB FANFICS SO MUCH! I will read whatever you publish if it means I get more Haleb content! And if you need an editor or anything, I'm down. (This goes for anyone who wants to write Haleb stories!) I feel like editing and adding on is the easy part for me; the hard part is just getting the initial draft done. I've tried to read stories on Wattpad but I feel like it's just so much more difficult to navigate. Like, I can't find what I'm looking for because I'll click on the Haleb tag and it's a bunch of random non-Haleb stories that writers just tagged Haleb in. And I totally get you on having so many ideas...I literally have so many. And there's so many that I want to write but I just know I'll lose motivation, so maybe eventually I'll get to them all. LOL, sorry this was so long, I just have a lot of feelings about this, ya know? Especially about Spencer Bitch Hastings.
hahahaleb: Sorry for making you wait, but here it is! Thanks for reading!
PrettyLittleAshwee11: Sorry about the wait! Ugh, I would love to do a sequel but I just don't know if I'm up for it! I love this story so much but I just feel like what was so much fun for me about it was Haleb sneaking around, so I feel like after they get together, their life is pretty normal, and I just don't really know what I would write. Also, I really need to just focus on school for the next month or so, so I probably won't be posting any new content until at least after that, but hopefully once I'm done with school and have more free time I'll feel motivated/inspired to write again! Even if it's just oneshots or random short stories that I have ideas for.
Here is Part 1 of the Epilogue! Hope you enjoy! I haven't decided yet when I'll post the second part, but it's all finished, so it might be in a few days, it might be in a week, who knows?! So you should all write reeeaaaally good reviews to persuade me to post it sooner rather than later! ;)
"Caleb!"
Caleb could hear the fear in Hanna's voice, so he rushed towards the sound to find her in their bathroom, standing by the sink, facing away from him.
"What?" he asked, panicked, putting his hands on her upper arms in what he hoped was a comforting and reassuring gesture. "What's going on? What's wrong?" he rushed out.
"Nothing, I hope," she replied, making him even more confused.
She turned slowly to face him, and that's when he noticed the small item she was holding.
She turned it towards him so he could see the two distinct lines on the small screen.
His eyes flew up to meet hers, before going back down to look at the pregnancy test, and then back up to Hanna's face again.
"Is that...?" he began nervously. "Are you...?" He couldn't even finish a sentence, he was so overwhelmed.
"I'm pregnant," she confirmed, trying to read his expression, but he wasn't giving much away.
When he didn't reply after a few more excruciatingly long seconds of silence, she tried again, "We're having a baby."
"We're having a baby," he echoed softly.
But she still couldn't read his expression, or even interpret his tone, so she asked nervously, "Are you happy?"
They hadn't been trying for a baby, per se, but they certainly hadn't not been trying, either. She had no idea how he was going to react, but she really hoped he would be as excited as she already was.
Finally, his face broke into a huge grin, and then he was nodding so quickly, she was worried he was going to strain his neck.
"I'm happy," he confirmed, pulling her into his arms and squeezing her tightly to him as she buried her face in his chest in relief. "I'm so happy," he murmured into her ear.
They stayed like that for a long time, Hanna crying softly into his chest as her emotions caught up to her.
When Hanna pulled away, she was surprised to see tears shining in Caleb's eyes as well. He rarely got emotional, or, at the very least, rarely let his emotions show, even with her. It bothered her sometimes, but she knew it was just the remnants of the effects his childhood had on him that left him reluctant to let people in all the way.
"Good," she broke the comfortable silence, as Caleb gently wiped away a stray tear on her cheek. "Because I know this wasn't the plan, but I'm really happy anyway, and I just wanted you to be happy, too, and I don't know what I would have done if you weren't, because there's no way I can do this without you, and I love you so much, and -" she rambled on quickly, before Caleb cut her off.
"Hey, shhh," he said soothingly, pulling her into his arms again to try to calm her down. "You are not going to do this without me. I am going to be here through everything. The doctor's appointments, the classes, the midnight ice cream runs, the shopping. I'll be here to repaint the nursery after you spend forever trying to decide on a color, and then change your mind after I've already painted it the first time. We're in this together, Han.
"And you're right: this wasn't the plan. But sometimes plans change, and that can be a good thing. Just look at us; I know I certainly wasn't your plan, but I think it worked out pretty well for us."
"Of course it did," she agreed, pulling away so she could look at him. "I love you so much."
"I love you, too. And I love our little family," he added, lifting up her shirt to reveal her obviously still completely-flat stomach.
"I don't think you're gonna see anything yet, babe," she teased, but she could already feel her heart swelling at the way he was looking at her stomach in awe.
"I know, but...they're in there," he said quietly, reaching out to rub her stomach tenderly.
"That's cold!" she gasped as soon as his hand connected with her bare skin.
"Oh, sorry!" he apologized, pulling his hand back quickly.
"No, it's okay," she said, grabbing his hand and placing it back on her stomach, prepared for the cold this time. "I like it." She loved the way he was already trying to connect with their child, and she didn't want to do anything to stand in the way of that.
After a few seconds, Caleb realized that there really wasn't much of anything at all to see yet, retracting his hand and pulling her shirt back down, letting her go so she could wash her hands, before he led her back out to their living room.
"Brody!" Hanna called out excitedly as soon as she saw the dog, perched on the couch now that his owners had vacated it for him. "You're gonna be a big brother!"
The dog obviously had no idea what Hanna was saying, but he barked loudly as though he did, most likely tipped off that something was happening by Hanna's excited tone.
They joined Brody on the couch, Hanna encouraging him to rest his head across her lap, while Caleb sat down next to them.
"We have to call my mom!" Hanna exclaimed suddenly, eager to share their good news. "And my grandma, and Aria and Emily and Spencer, and your mom - "
"Alright, slow down!" Caleb chided. "Actually, would it be alright if...do you think we could wait a little while to tell people?" he asked hesitantly. Caleb was pretty sure he had heard that it was good to wait to tell people until after they made sure everything was alright, but he knew that wouldn't apply with Hanna's mother and grandmother and her circle of friends. She was so close to them, he knew that, even if - God forbid - something were to go wrong, she would tell them anyway, needing their support as well. So that wasn't what was stopping him from wanting to tell people as soon as possible.
"Oh, um, yeah, of course," Hanna agreed, surprised. "Are you, um...are you not excited, then, or...?" she trailed off awkwardly, nervously.
"I am!" he replied quickly. "God, I am, of course I am," he reassured her. "It's just...I mean, this is a surprise - an amazing one, but still a surprise - and it's a pretty big deal, and I kind of just want to keep it between us for now. It seems more special that way. Like we have a secret that no one else knows about."
He was seriously just the sweetest. Now that he put it like that, she wanted to wait, too.
"I like that," she said softly. "Just between the two of us."
She curled into his side as he turned on the television and flipped through channels, trying to find something half-decent to put on. At some point, Brody must have gotten bored of them, and had made his way over to his bed by the window and curled up for his evening nap.
After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Hanna turned to Caleb as she was struck by an idea.
"Do you think we could get Carbone for dinner to celebrate?" she asked sweetly, referring to their favorite, but very expensive, Italian restaurant.
"Of course," he agreed immediately. If there was ever a time to celebrate, it was today. "Are you ready for me to order it now?"
"Yes, please," she confirmed, already starving. Her suddenly-increased appetite was one of the things that had led her to buy a pregnancy test in the first place.
"Your usual?" he asked, getting up and making his way over to the kitchen.
"Yes, please!" she repeated. "And can you ask for - "
"Extra breadsticks, I know," he finished with a knowing smile.
Hanna felt her heart swell as she realized yet again just how well Caleb knew her.
As he called in their dinner order, Hanna picked up the remote to resume flipping through channels, finally finding the first Twilight movie, and settling on that.
As soon as Caleb returned and sat back down next to her, she was curling into his side again, always wanting to be as close to him as possible. This is exactly what she had always wanted, had longed for for so many years before she met Caleb: intimacy, affection, quality time together.
"We're having a baby," he said again, almost giddily, wrapping his arm around Hanna and pulling her close.
"We're having a baby," she repeated, unable to contain her smile. She absolutely loved seeing how excited Caleb was about this already.
"I already know how we can tell your parents!"
"Okay..." Hanna said hesitantly. Just a few minutes ago, he was the one asking not to tell anyone yet.
"When the time is right," he clarified. "We should get your dad one of those shirts that says 'Gramps' or 'Grampy' or something!" he said, deadpan.
"Um, he would hate that!" Hanna pointed out. Her father wasn't exactly the paternal type, and she wasn't expecting him to be any better of a grandpa than he was a dad.
"Exactly!" Caleb said excitedly. "That's what's so great about it. Of course, he's probably going to make our kid call him 'Grandfather.'"
"Or 'Tom,'" Hanna giggled.
"Or 'Mr. Marin,'" Caleb suggested. "That's what I still call him."
Hanna sighed, no longer laughing. If her relationship with her father was strained, then she didn't even know what to call Caleb's relationship with him. Tom Marin had been furious when he found out his only daughter was leaving her rich, successful, educated husband who came from a good family, for a man who had barely graduated high school, jumped around from job to job, and had grown up in the foster care system. But she didn't care. She had stopped caring what her father thought a long time ago.
"I'm sorry he's so awful to you," she told him, pouting. "But I love you for putting up with him," she said, kissing his cheek in appreciation.
"It's not so bad," Caleb objected. "It's gotten a lot better. He even allows me to shake his hand now. And who knows? Maybe he was made to be a grandfather. Maybe this little one in here," he said, rubbing Hanna's stomach tenderly, "will bring us all together."
"You don't really believe that, right?" Hanna questioned, concerned.
"Not for a second," he confirmed. He and Hanna had been married for nearly two years now, officially together almost four, and he had made very little progress with her father. He was just grateful his father-in-law tolerated him now, and he was no longer met with complete disdain every time they were in the same room together.
"Maybe you should go golfing with him," she suggested offhandedly. She loved Caleb exactly the way he was, and she wasn't trying to change him, or turn him into a prepster-wannabe, but golfing is what had bonded her father and Jordan, after all. Well, that and real estate, but she figured golfing was easier to get into.
"Golfing?" he echoed, shocked. "I hate golfing. And I suck at it. And he's never even invited me golfing."
"I know," she agreed. "But you could invite him. He can't say no to a golf match. And you could reverse hustle him! Like, make him think you're really good, and then you lose really badly. He might start to warm up to you, then. He loves to win."
"I'll get right on that, then," he said sarcastically.
"You're never inviting my dad to play golf, are you?" she asked knowingly.
"Probably not," he confirmed.
"But you would look so good in golf shorts and a polo, and maybe a little visor," Hanna teased, looking up at him to catch his horrified expression.
"A visor?" he echoed in disgust. "You will never catch me in a fucking visor!" he exclaimed, causing Hanna to burst out in laughter. She knew her husband well, and she had known this would be his exact reaction.
"You didn't object to the polo, though!" she pointed out excitedly.
"The polo is maybe negotiable. A visor is not," he said definitively.
"Then what are you going to wear to block your eyes when you go golfing?" she asked innocently.
"Uh, sunglasses? But it doesn't even matter, actually, because I'm not going golfing!"
She sighed, scooting closer to him, if that was even possible, as he tightened his arm around her.
"I guess you'll never bond with my dad then..." she trailed off dramatically.
"Babe, I genuinely think there is very little I can do to bond with your dad," he said honestly. "He doesn't like me. He doesn't think I'm good enough for you."
"Well, he's an idiot," she replied automatically. She hated how her father seemed to think he was so superior to everyone else. She wished he would just open his eyes and see how much better Caleb treated her than any other guy she had ever been with, all of whom were from "good families" and Ivy League-educated, or on their way there.
"At least your mom likes me enough for the both of them," he pointed out.
"My mom is obsessed with you!" she laughed. "And she's going to love you even more when she finds out you're giving her a grandchild." Hanna knew her mother had been desperate for grandchildren for years, but when she was with Jordan, she had always told her mother it wasn't the right time. Now, of course, she was infinitely grateful she had never made that mistake.
But while her mother was supportive of her choosing Caleb, Hanna knew she was also disappointed knowing that she was back at square one for grandchildren. She didn't want to rush things with Caleb like she had before, even though she was completely confident that it was right this time. So she and Caleb had been officially together for about a year before they even started thinking about getting engaged, and then Caleb had proposed a couple of months later, in the most perfect and romantic way possible.
He had brought her home to Philly for the weekend, and, more specifically, back to the hotel where they had met, at Veronica's first campaign event. He had rented out the rooftop restaurant just for them, and they had spent the most amazing dinner together.
And after dinner, he had brought her back down to the exact ballroom where the event had taken place.
"Right about here; this is where I saw you for the first time."
Hanna smiled as she recalled the encounter. She had had absolutely no idea at that time what was in store for her. For them.
"I knew, as soon as I saw you, that you were special," he continued. "I thought you were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen, and I couldn't wait to get to know you better. And then you introduced me to your husband," he added with a sigh, shaking his head. "And that plan was shot right down. But somehow, despite everything else, it still happened. I got to spend every day with you in that office, I got to learn more and more about you, and I fell a little bit more in love with you with every new thing I learned. I quickly realized that you were even more incredible than I could have imagined."
Tears filled Hanna's eyes as she listened to Caleb's speech. She knew they hadn't done everything right - she, especially, hadn't done everything right. But she had accepted that, had begun to forgive herself for all of the pain she had caused, and was finally letting herself move on and be truly happy for the first time in her life.
"I love you," she said through her tears, kissing him gently.
"I love you, too," he murmured against her lips, before pulling away. He still had a lot more to say.
"I'm not proud of...how we started, or of everything we did, and I know you aren't, either. But I don't regret it, and I wouldn't change it. Because it brought us to where we are now. And I love where we are now."
"Me, too," Hanna whispered.
"I love our life, I love being with you, I love you so much, Hanna. You make me happier than I ever thought I could be, and I am grateful every single day, that you were brought into my life. And that you chose me.
"But - " he began again, inhaling a deep breath nervously.
Hanna could feel her pulse quicken. He was breaking up with her. She knew that was probably irrational, especially after the way he had just finished telling her how happy he was, and how much he loved her, but she hated the word "but." "But" was never a good thing.
"But I think it's time to move onto the next chapter," he continued, and before Hanna could even process what he had said, or what that could mean, he was down on one knee in front of her, holding a small velvet box out towards her.
"Oh my god," Hanna gasped, her hand immediately flying to cover her mouth in shock, her vision blurring with her tears, so much so that she couldn't even make out the ring.
"I love you, Hanna, with everything inside of me. And I know that I am going to love you forever. I never wanna spend another day without you, ever, for the rest of my life."
Hanna began crying even harder as she realized that was the exact same thing he had said to her when she had shown up in Chicago and he had agreed to give their relationship another shot.
"Hanna Olivia Marin - will you marry me?"
Although she knew it was coming, Hanna still found herself in shock as soon as she heard him finally say the words. She couldn't even speak, she was crying so hard at this point, so she just nodded frantically as she encouraged Caleb to stand up again.
"So is that a yes?" he asked her, wiping some of the still-falling tears from her cheeks.
"Yes, yes, of course it's a yes!" she got out through her tears. "A million times, yes."
So he took the ring he had spent ages choosing from the velvet box, slipping it onto her left ring finger. She blinked quickly several times, trying to clear her vision enough to be able to see the ring clearly.
"I love it," she breathed out as soon as she could see it. "It's perfect." It was exactly what she would have chosen herself, platinum, cushion-cut center stone surrounded by a halo of smaller diamonds, about 3 carats, she guessed. "You did really good, babe," she assured him. "I love you, Caleb Rivers. And I can't wait to marry you."
And then suddenly he was pulling her into his arms again, and murmuring in her ear, "I love you so much, Han. And I'm so glad you said yes."
"Was that ever even a question?" she laughed. It shouldn't have been; that was the easiest yes of her life, and if he had had any doubt that she would say yes, then she would have been seriously concerned.
And although they had gotten married sooner than they had originally planned, they had still been engaged for several months. And then they had wanted to settle into married life and enjoy time together, just the two of them, for a while. Shortly after they moved to New York, Hanna had gone back to school at the Fashion Institute of Technology and had gotten a degree in Fashion Design, before being hired as a designer for an up-and-coming fashion label. And Caleb's work with Lucas Gottesman on his app had led to a full-time job - a very well-paying job, that allowed him to pursue his various technology interests, including app development, information technology, and cyber security, so they were both focusing on their careers for a while as well. So Hanna knew her mother was more than ready for her to start having kids, the sooner the better.
"Yeah, I really don't know what I did to win your mom over, but maybe I should try that on your dad," Caleb added.
"Well, my mom's not a selfish bitch who cares more about what people think than her own daughter's happiness," Hanna replied bitterly. "My mom loves you because she knows how much I love you, and how much you love me, and how happy you make me, and how well you treat me," she explained, running her fingers through Caleb's hair gently. "That's enough for her."
Hanna thought back to a conversation with her mother right before her and Caleb's wedding.
It was just her and Ashley left in Hanna's dressing room; her best friends were already lined up to walk down the aisle as her bridesmaids, and her father was waiting outside to join Ashley in walking Hanna down the aisle. Hanna knew her father was doing it more out of obligation, and because he was worried about what people would think if he didn't, rather than actually wanting to give his daughter away to Caleb, but she didn't care. She didn't want anything to ruin the day that she already knew was going to be amazing, so she wasn't going to fight with him.
"You look so beautiful, sweetheart," Ashley said, tearing up as she adjusted Hanna's veil.
"Don't cry, Mom, or you're gonna make me cry," Hanna warned, turning around to face her mother.
"Before we go out there...I just have to ask," Ashley began. "Are you absolutely sure this is what you want?"
Unlike her previous wedding, Hanna could truly say that she was. While she had been an anxious wreck last time, she felt completely calm this time, the excitement far outweighing any nerves she may have had.
"Mom, I haven't...made the best choices," Hanna admitted. "I've made some pretty bad ones." Her first marriage. "But Caleb is not one of them," she said confidently, a calm, content smile on her face. "He is the one thing in this world that I am sure of. I've never been more sure about anything in my life. He means everything to me, and I can't wait to marry him," she whispered, her eyes pooling with tears, despite how hard she tried to stop them.
"I know," Ashley said softly. She had seen the way her daughter looked at Caleb, the calm, peaceful expression that settled across her face whenever he was in her view, the intensity of the way her eyes bore into his. And she had heard the way she talked about him, doting on everything he did like he could do no wrong. And she knew he felt the exact same way about her daughter. Which is why she trusted him completely with Hanna's heart.
"Then...why did you ask?" Hanna questioned, confused.
"Because I didn't last time, and I wish I had," she replied simply. She still had immense guilt over the fact that she could have saved her daughter from a lot of heartache if she had just paid more attention and had realized how unsure Hanna was about going through with her first wedding, and how unhappy she was as a result. But she knew, without a doubt, that that wouldn't be the case this time. "But I can see how happy you are now, Han, and I am so happy for you. This - Caleb - is exactly what I've always wanted for you."
"Before you make me cry even more, let's get out there already!" Hanna exclaimed. She couldn't let her makeup smudge before the ceremony had even started. Plus, she was more than ready to go out there and marry the love of her life. "I can't wait to see him."
"Not enough for your dad, though," Caleb concluded, pulling Hanna from her thoughts.
"Because he's a dick," she added.
"Han," Caleb chided.
"What?" Hanna asked defensively. "I can call him a dick. And so can you! Because he is."
"I'm not going to call your dad a dick," he told her, rolling his eyes, and pulling her closer.
"Whatever," Hanna said. "I don't care what he thinks. We're having a baby, and I'm excited and you're excited, and my mom's going to be so excited."
Caleb hummed in agreement.
"Do you want a boy or a girl?" she asked.
"I want healthy," Caleb replied immediately.
"Well, yeah, me, too, of course," Hanna agreed quickly. She knew that was the right answer. But that didn't mean she wasn't already planning baby girl outfits in her mind. "But if you could choose, which one would you want?"
"Well, I love the idea of a little girl that looks just like you," he admitted. He could already picture a baby with blonde curls and Hanna's gorgeous blue eyes.
"And I could dress her in the cutest little outfits!" Hanna added excitedly.
"But if she looks anything like you, then I am in trouble when she gets to high school," he realized suddenly. "I'll have to chase away all the boys who want to date her," he added, making Hanna laugh.
"Or we could just let her make her own mistakes," she suggested.
"Your dad would have chased me off if we'd met in high school," he stated.
"I wouldn't have let him," she countered immediately. If everything had worked out the way it should have, and she had met Caleb in high school, there was no way she would have let anything get in their way.
"You say that, but I really don't think you would have been into me in high school," he told her.
"Um, of course I would have," she objected. If high school Caleb was even a fraction of the man she knew now, she wished more than anything she could have known him. "The only thing that would have been different if we had met in high school is that we would have fallen madly in love ten years earlier and wouldn't have had to deal with all the other shit."
"I just don't think I was your type," he argued. From what he had heard about Hanna's dating history, he was pretty sure he wouldn't have stood a chance with her.
"Well, you weren't my type when we met five years ago, either, but look how that turned out!" she pointed out. Hanna still remembered her first impressions of Caleb; she was horrified by his outfit choice and his mannerisms, but he had very quickly won her over.
"Yeah, but I just feel like you needed to...I don't know, explore within your type, first, I guess," he attempted to explain.
"What does that even mean?" Hanna asked, laughing, genuinely confused.
"I just don't think you would have been ready for me in high school," he replied.
"I wouldn't have been 'ready for you'?" Hanna echoed in amusement, raising her eyebrows, as he readjusted on the couch, clearly uncomfortable.
"I didn't mean it like that!" he said immediately. "It wasn't supposed to sound that...cocky."
"Well, now you're reminding me more of the cocky, arrogant player I fell in love with," she teased, making him roll his eyes. "So what did you mean, then?"
"Well, I mean, you were Miss Popularity, Homecoming Queen, right?" he asked rhetorically. "So I just feel like you needed to date the guys you were supposed to for a while - you know, the rich, smart, good-boy athletes who Mommy and Daddy would approve of - so you could figure out what was wrong there, and what was missing, before you could accept the fact that you were really supposed to end up with someone like me."
"Not 'someone like you,' just you," she argued immediately. She wasn't interested in anyone else, her type or otherwise. She knew that no one else could have won her over the way Caleb had; she never could have fallen for anyone else in the way she had for him.
"Does that make sense, though?" he questioned, still not really sure if it did.
"I guess," she replied. "But I still don't believe that. I like to think that if I was lucky enough to meet you then, I wouldn't have been stupid enough to ever let you go."
"I had long hair, ya know," he informed her.
"Wait, like, how long?" she questioned.
"Sometimes shoulder length, sometimes chin length, it depended on the day," he shrugged.
"How did I not know this?!" she asked. "Do you have a picture?" She couldn't believe she had never seen a picture of a long-haired high school Caleb.
"Probably not," he replied quickly. "I don't really want a record of that. I finally came to my senses senior year and chopped it off."
"But I wanna see!" she whined. "I bet you were really hot," she sing-songed, pressing kisses against his neck in an attempt to convince him.
"Fine," he groaned, unable to say no to her. "I'll see if I can find something," he said as he got up and made his way into their bedroom.
He searched through their closet to find the one box of "mementos" he had kept, and returned to the living room a couple of minutes later with a Ravenswood High School yearbook.
He handed it to her without saying anything, sitting back down and waiting as she searched the page to find his photo.
"Oh my gosh!" she exclaimed after a few seconds. "You were hot," she confirmed in a suggestive tone, squeezing his leg. "You've got that bad boy look going on," she said as she looked back up at him.
"Not my best look," he disagreed.
"Well, I like it," Hanna argued. "I definitely would have been into you in high school," she assured him. "As long as you had the same heart, and were the same loving, supportive, protective guy you are now, I definitely would have fallen for you."
"I don't know..." he trailed off. He knew he still wasn't good enough for Hanna, so he didn't think there was any way he would ever believe he would have been good enough for her in high school.
"Well, I like my way better," Hanna informed him.
"Ya know, I like your way better, too," he agreed, coming to the realization on how ridiculous this argument was. "I don't know why I'm fighting it so much. Yours is way better."
"So we agree," she concluded, resting her head on his shoulder again. "If we had met in high school, we would have fallen completely, totally, head-over-heels in love, and we would have been the 'it' couple of the school. And then when we graduated, you would have been the only one believing in me and encouraging me to follow my dreams, but that would have been enough. So we would have moved to New York, finding whatever tiny apartment we could afford and making it a home, you would have gotten some genius computer-hacker job, and I would have gone to fashion school. We would have traveled the world together on all my school breaks. Then, after graduation, I would have gotten some super competitive job or internship, and you would have proposed right away. We would have gotten married in a small, intimate ceremony, so that part's not too different, I guess. Then we would have enjoyed the first couple years of marriage, just us, maybe doing some more traveling, lots of sex, of course, but that part's not too different, either. And we'd have at least two kids by now."
"I like the sound of that," Caleb murmured, pressing a kiss against the top of Hanna's head.
"It would have been perfect," she sighed, and Caleb could hear the sadness in her tone.
"But this is pretty perfect, too, though, right?" he asked, trying to make her feel better, reminding her that they still had everything they wanted - it had just taken a little while longer.
"Yeah," she agreed. "Of course it is. I'm just sad that we lost out on all those years. Because sometimes I worry that we won't have enough time. Do you ever wish you could be a vampire?" she asked suddenly, noticing the movie that was still playing on their television screen, before he even had a chance to reply.
"Um, I can't say I've ever really thought about it," he admitted. Despite watching the Twilight movies with her what felt like a thousand times, he had never considered the possibility.
"Oh," she said simply. "Well, I do. But only if you were one, too. Then we could literally spend forever together."
Caleb always loved his wife. Of course he did. But sometimes, like right now, his love for her was so overwhelming, so overpowering, so all-consuming, that he felt like his heart would literally burst.
"Well, when you put it like that, I would love to be a vampire with you."
They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Hanna remembered where this conversation had begun.
"So you want a girl, then?" she asked, breaking the silence.
"Absolutely not," he countered immediately. "I do not want to have to deal with chasing away every single teenage boy at her high school."
"So...a boy, then?" she said softly.
He didn't respond. Truly, he would be completely happy either way.
"Just think, if we had a boy, you could teach him to throw a football, and how to fish, and how to ride a bike..." she trailed off. "Of course, you could teach our daughter all of those things, too," she added quickly. She already knew that she wanted them to be the type of parents to accept their child exactly the way they were, allowing them to explore whatever interests they may have, without putting pressure on them to be something they're not.
"Mmmmm," Caleb hummed in agreement. Those were the type of things a father was supposed to teach his child. But how would he know that? He hadn't grown up with a father, hadn't really grown up with parents at all. He had taught himself all of those things, plus how to tie a tie, how to hang things on walls, how to change a tire. He hadn't had anyone to guide him through life. What if he couldn't be the kind of nurturing father his child deserved, because he didn't have anything to go off of?
Hanna felt Caleb tense beside her, but she wasn't sure why.
"You can play catch with him, and take him to Phillies games, and go camping together..." she continued, wanting to hear the same level of excitement he had had earlier.
But he still didn't say anything, and as she looked up at him, she noticed he was staring at the television blankly, his mouth set in a hard line.
She wasn't sure what had caused the sudden shift in mood, but she let him think in silence for a while, until she couldn't take it anymore. She wanted them to go back to talking about how amazing it felt to know they were going to become parents soon.
"Babe, what's going on?" she broke the silence, pulling away from him and sitting up so she could turn and face him fully.
He didn't even seem to hear her.
"Did I say something...?" she asked tentatively.
"What?" he asked absently, suddenly coming to. "Um, no. No, of course not."
"Then what's wrong?" she asked gently, stroking his chest soothingly.
"Nothing," he replied, forcing a smile, wrapping an arm around her and trying to pull her towards him again, but she resisted.
"What just happened, then?" she asked, concerned. "We were talking and laughing, and then you just...shut down."
"Nothing," he repeated, but with a defensive edge to his tone this time. "Yeah, we were talking. Um, a boy. Yeah, that would be great. Or a girl. Really, I'm happy either way."
"Caleb, what's wrong?" she asked again, frowning. She hated when he pushed her away like this. Sometimes, he would get upset about something, or something would set him off, and he would just shut down. It didn't happen nearly as much now as it did in the beginning, but it still drove her crazy when it did. She was an open book, and she had no problem sharing all of her feelings with him. So she was always hurt when he wouldn't let her all the way in.
"Seriously, Han, I'm fine," he attempted to placate her, turning his attention to the television and pretending to pay attention to it.
"I don't believe you," she argued. "You're suddenly so quiet, and you haven't even made fun of this scene," she pointed out. The movie was currently at the scene where Edward reveals himself to Bella out in the field, and he glimmers in the sun, the light reflecting off of his pale skin. Every single time they watched this movie, Caleb always made a comment about how ridiculous the scene was, without fail.
"Just...not feeling it, I guess," he muttered. Truth be told, he hadn't even noticed the scene, stuck in his head with his dark thoughts.
"Well, what was it this time, then?" And this is exactly what he hated. When he would get in one of his moods - yes, he was fully aware of it, but that didn't mean he wanted to acknowledge it - and she would treat him like a bomb about to detonate, asking him over and over if he was okay, and what was wrong, and if he wanted to talk about it.
"Hanna, I'm fine," he said, with an edge to his tone.
"Caleb, just talk to me," she pleaded, gently running her fingers through his hair. "What's on your mind?"
"'What's on my mind,'" he echoed, and Hanna could already tell he was about to change the subject. "I cannot wait for our food to get here."
"Caleb," she sighed, but he just stared blankly back at her as though he had no idea why she was so frustrated. "Whatever," she muttered when she realized she wasn't getting anywhere with him, unable to stop the tears from filling her eyes as she got up and stormed off to their bedroom, slamming the door behind her.
Caleb let out a sigh of his own as he rolled his eyes. He didn't understand why Hanna had to make this into a such a big deal. He didn't like to talk about his feelings So what? But, regardless of the way he felt about the situation, he hated seeing her upset, so he followed her to their bedroom, only to find the door locked, making him roll his eyes again.
"Hanna?" he called out, knocking on the door. "Babe, come on. Let me in."
When he didn't hear any movement from the other side of the door, he tried again. "Han, come on, we just got the best news of our lives - we shouldn't be fighting."
He heard a huff from inside the bedroom, and the creak of the bedsprings as she got up, before she was opening the door, and he could see her eyes were red and puffy already. He hated making her cry.
"We're not fighting," she said pointedly, as she went and sat back down on the bed, pulling her knees to her chest and hugging them.
Caleb followed her to their bed, sitting down beside her and stroking her cheek gently, trying to get her to look at him.
"Then why are you upset?" he asked gently, running his thumb along the pad of her cheek.
"Oh, I don't know!" she exclaimed sarcastically as she pulled away from him, out of his reach. "Maybe I'm 'upset' because my husband doesn't trust me enough to talk to me."
"It is not that I don't trust you, Hanna," he countered immediately. That couldn't be further from the truth. "I don't talk about my feelings with anyone," he pointed out.
"Well, I am not anyone, Caleb, I am your wife!" she cried out. At this point, she was less angry and frustrated, and more hurt than anything else. "And in...nine months or so, we're going to be raising a child together. Don't you want our child to know that they can come to us for anything, talk to us about anything?"
"Of course I do," he replied automatically, his voice slightly raspy as he felt himself getting emotional. Hanna was right. If he wanted to set a good example for his son or daughter, he couldn't keep bottling up his feelings and pushing people away.
She scooted closer to him again, grabbing both of his hands in hers and squeezing tight.
"You know you can tell me literally anything right?" she asked gently. "I am never going to...judge you, or... or think any differently of you. I just want to know what you're feeling."
"I know," he murmured. God, he felt awful now. She was being so understanding, after he had gotten so frustrated with her for no reason at all.
"Look, Caleb," she started, taking in a deep breath. "I know that talking about your feelings isn't easy for you. So I try so hard to be patient with you, and I try not to push you. But sometimes, like right now, I just really need you to let me in."
He knew she was right. She was always so patient with him, and he knew she deserved more.
"Caleb, I know this is really big news," she said softly. "And if you're not excited about it, that's okay, we can work through it. But I need you to talk to me."
"Hey, come here," he murmured, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her into his side. "I promise I am excited."
"But?" she prompted. She knew him so damn well.
"But I'm also scared," he admitted.
"That's totally understandable," she said encouragingly.
"I just..." he trailed off. "I have no idea what I'm doing."
"Well, nobody does," she pointed out with a small smile. "At least, not at first."
"But at least most people know what good - or, at the very least, decent - parenting looks like. I don't have that. I don't have any idea what makes a good parent. All I know is what makes a not-completely-horrible foster parent.
"And I know you didn't have the greatest parents in the world, either, but your mom was pretty good. And at least your dad was around. I never had parents at all. And earlier, when you were talking about everything I could do with our kid, it just made me realize all the things I missed out on. I never had a dad to do any of that with, so I guess I'm just afraid I don't know how to be a dad, either."
"Caleb," she started gently, running her hand down his arm. "You'll learn. We both will. Together."
"But what if I don't?" he asked, and Hanna could see the genuine fear in his eyes, and it broke her heart. "What if I am...a terrible father, and I screw up our child?"
"Babe, that could never happen," she replied softly. "If anyone was going to be screwed up by bad parenting, it would have been you. But you weren't. I hate everything that you had to go through, and I wish, more than anything, that I could change it for you. But despite everything you went through, you are kind, and loving, and supportive, and protective, and sweet, and dependable. You are the most incredible man I've ever met, and you're the man that I love more than anything."
"I love you, too," he said immediately. "I never truly loved anyone until I met you. And I guess I just don't understand how I could possibly love anyone else as much as I love you."
"Caleb, I can already tell how much you love this baby," she argued, thinking back to the way he had stared at her stomach in awe. "And we haven't even gotten to see them on an ultrasound, or hear their heartbeat, or hold them. I wouldn't be surprised if you end up loving this baby even more than you love me. And I won't hold it against you if you do," she added with a smile, grateful to hear him laugh for the first time since the beginning of this conversation.
"I do love them," he agreed. "So much. Which scares the hell out of me. Just like I was scared when I fell in love with you. I already want to protect our baby, and keep them safe, and make sure nothing bad ever happens to them. But what if I'm not enough for them? What if I'm not good enough? How am I supposed to be a good dad when I don't even know what a good dad is?"
"Caleb, you are always enough," she tried to convince him, tried to make him understand. She hated how much his parents had broken him, had made him feel like he wasn't good enough, wasn't worthy enough, wasn't deserving of love. "And you may not know what a good dad is, but you definitely know what a bad dad is," she pointed out. "You know exactly what not to do. And you know what you wanted as a child, what you needed. You know what it felt like to not have that love and support from the people that are supposed to love you unconditionally. But now you have the chance to break that cycle. Caleb, you are going to be the best dad. Because you know exactly what our child needs from you, and how they're going to feel if they don't have it. And you have the biggest heart, and I know you would never ever allow your child to feel the way you did."
He still looked torn, and scared, and unconvinced.
"Are you going to abandon me and our baby?" she asked calmly.
"What?" he replied quickly. "Of course not! God, no! I would never do that to you! Or to our baby." He was hurt that she could even consider that possibility. But that was exactly why he hadn't wanted to share his fears with her; he never wanted her to doubt his commitment to her or to their family, never wanted her to worry that he wasn't in this with her one hundred percent.
"Hey, shhh," she said soothingly, rubbing his chest gently. "I know that. That's my point. Are you going to drop our child off somewhere, and then leave them on their own for twelve years?"
He shook his head as he let out a small smile, finally understanding where she was going with this.
"And are you going to make our child feel like everything they do is wrong, and they'll never be good enough?"
"No," he answered softly.
"Then you're already doing better than 75 percent of our parents!" she informed him. "That's a really good start."
"I love you so much," he told her gratefully, leaning in to kiss her gently.
"I love you, too. And I know this is scary. Of course it is. We're going to be responsible for another human being. They'll depend on us for everything. And we're gonna make mistakes. Lots of them, I'm sure.
"But I already know that you are going to be the most incredible father. I mean, look at how you are with Brody!"
"Did you just compare our baby to our dog?" Caleb asked, smirking at her.
"I guess I did. But you literally treat him like he's a human child!" she pointed out. If she didn't love Brody just as much as he did, she might be jealous of all of the attention her husband gave their dog.
"And I've seen how you are with Noah and Ava. I think you're a natural," she said reassuringly. Caleb was absolutely amazing with Emily and Samara's two year-old adopted son, Noah, and Spencer and Toby's six month-old daughter, Ava.
"Well, I always knew I had fun uncle potential," he joked. "It's the 'dad' thing I'm not so sure of."
"Hey," she started gently, moving so that she was sitting cross-legged in front of him on the bed, resting her hands on his bent knees. "Do you remember what you were like when we met?"
"What do you mean?" he asked innocently. He knew exactly what she meant; he was a womanizer living the stereotypical bachelor lifestyle, not caring about anyone but himself, who couldn't even imagine wanting to settle down and start a family. But Hanna had changed everything.
"Well, let's see: you were cocky and rude and arrogant. You'd never had a real relationship and treated every woman like nothing more than a potential one-night stand. You were kind of a dick," she concluded bluntly.
"Ouch. That's harsh," he retorted. But he knew it was true.
"But look at you now. You love me so much."
"I love you so much," he confirmed immediately, without hesitation.
"Caleb, you've grown so much over the last few years. Five years ago, there is no way in hell I would have trusted you to raise my children with," she said with a laugh. "Now, there's no one I'd trust more. We'll figure it out. Together. Just like we've figured out everything else that's been thrown at us."
"Yeah, we will," Caleb agreed, finally feeling a little bit more confident about his parenting skills that would be put to the test in about nine months or so. Hanna always knew exactly what to say to make him feel better about anything.
"If you ask me, our baby is pretty damn lucky to get us as parents," she added. "We're gonna crush this whole parenting thing."
"Yeah, we are," Caleb laughed, pulling Hanna into his arms again, tucking her into his side. "I love you, Hanna Rivers."
"That'll never get old," she sighed contently.
"Good, because the night before our wedding, you promised you'd be a Rivers forever," he reminded her.
"It's 11:45. I should probably get going," Caleb said, looking down at his Apple Watch. He and Hanna were currently laying on the bed in Hanna's hotel room, soaking up the last few minutes of the night before it turned into the chaos of their wedding day.
"But I don't want you to go," Hanna groaned.
"I don't want to go, either," he agreed, his actions contradicting his words as he sat up and started to move towards the edge of the bed. "I wouldn't have to go if you weren't making us sleep in separate rooms," he pointed out.
"It's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding," Hanna argued. It had taken a lot of persuasion to convince Caleb to spend the night apart from her, but she was pretty superstitious and didn't want to do anything to start their marriage off on the wrong foot.
"I've heard that, but if we've been able to make it this far, with everything that's been thrown at us, I don't think anything is gonna jinx us now," he said as he stood up from the bed and turned back around to face his fiancée, who he would finally get to call his wife the next day.
She crawled across the bed, sitting up on her knees so they were at eye-level, and looped her arms around his neck, before saying, "I don't think so, either, but I'm not willing to risk it."
"I know," he sighed, still disappointed, though, until she leaned in and kissed him to wipe the frown from his lips. "But I already know I'm going to sleep terribly without you next to me," he warned.
"Me, too," she agreed, pouting. She had become way too accustomed to sleeping curled up in Caleb's arms, and she wasn't sure she could even still fall asleep without him.
"I love you," Caleb told her as he prepared to leave.
"Wait, I have something for you!" Hanna exclaimed before he had made it too far, crawling across the bed so she could reach her suitcase, pulling out a small wrapped box and handing it to him.
"You are not allowed to do this," he objected. "I don't have anything for you."
"That's fine," Hanna brushed him off. "It's really small. Trust me, you'll see when you open it."
He unwrapped the gift box and pulled out a pair of socks. They were nice socks, very soft and plush, but they were still socks, nonetheless, so he was a bit confused.
"Um, thanks, babe," he said hesitantly. Did she have something against his socks or something?
"No cold feet," she said in explanation, causing him to look at the socks again, before looking at her, laughing, and shaking his head.
"I promise you, there are absolutely no cold feet," he assured her. "At least, not on my end."
"Not on mine, either," she confirmed. "Mine are toooastyy warm," she smirked as she showed him her fuzzy sock-clad feet, making him laugh again.
"I love you so much," he said, serious now. "And I cannot wait to marry you."
"I can't wait to marry you, either," she murmured, knowing in her heart just how true that was.
"Tomorrow, I finally get to make you, Mrs. Rivers," he added. He already knew that he and Hanna would be together forever, but he was more than ready to make it official, and legally-binding.
"Yeah," Hanna said softly in agreement. "You know I'm not actually changing my name, though, right?"
"Uh..." Caleb started, taken aback. "You're, um, you're not?" he asked, trying not to let his disappointment show. Now that he thought about it, he wasn't sure that they had ever actually talked about it. He had just assumed, since she had changed her name the first time and everything.
"Yeahhh," she dragged the word out. "I already did the whole name change thing, and it was such a hassle to change it back, so I figure I'll just keep my own name so I don't have to worry about it if we get divorced or anything. Is that okay?" she asked with mock concern.
"Um, yeah, that's, uh, that's smart, I guess," Caleb got out, forcing a smile as he tried to disguise his hurt, unable to meet her eye. He couldn't believe his fiancée was making contingency plans the night before their wedding. Why was she already preparing for their marriage not to work?
Hanna could tell how hurt he was, and immediately felt guilty about her joke. She hadn't expected him to react so badly.
"Babe!" she exclaimed, looping her arms around his neck again, and forcing his face towards her, so he had no choice but to make eye contact. "I'm kidding!"
"I... - what?" he asked, obviously confused.
"I was joking! Of course I am changing my name!" she assured him. "I can't wait to be Mrs. Rivers."
"That was so mean!" he exclaimed accusingly.
"I'm sorry! I didn't realize you were going to be so upset!" she cried.
"You didn't think I'd be upset that my fiancée was already planning for our divorce?" he echoed disbelievingly.
"Well, I didn't think about it like that, I guess!" she defended. "Because that's not even a possibility! We are never, ever, ever getting divorced. You're not getting rid of me that easily."
Caleb still looked pissed, so she tightened her grip around him, pulling him closer.
"I love you," she tried, pressing her lips against his in a soft kiss. "You still wanna marry me?"
"Yup," he confirmed.
"Just checking."
"I still want to marry you, but I'm not so sure you feel the same way," he shot back.
"Oh my god," she groaned. He was so dramatic. "Obviously, I want to marry you! I even gave you socks so you wouldn't get cold feet! After tomorrow, you're stuck with me. I'm gonna be a Rivers forever," she informed him.
"I can't wait," he said with a small smile.
TO BE CONTINUED...