I've Got A Lot Of Love And A Lot Of Nerve.

Ishim held out his hand and looked at Dean with deep-set eyes, so dark they were almost black. It was all he could do not to haul back and punch the man for everything he'd put Cas through, but he knew that wouldn't get him anywhere. He wasn't here for himself. He was here to get Cas out. Out of whatever the fuck was going on in this place.

"I'm Dean," he said, reaching out like he would for anyone else and shaking the man's hand firmly. The touch made his skin crawl, like scarabs burrowing under his skin to eat him from the inside out.

"Come in, so you're a seminary student as well? What denomination?" Ishim asked without anything even hinting at kindness in his face. Most people at least faked a smile, for fucks sake. Realizing the question, Dean started to panic. Shit. He hadn't thought about having to actually talk about his cover story and he knew about as much about church as he did about the fucking Ayatollah.

"Um, Methodist, very uh, pro-Jesus."

Ishim gave him a half-smile and appraised him again. "What did you say your name was again?"

"Dean, Dean Winchester."

"Funny, Castiel hasn't mentioned you or a thesis partner. Did you have classes together or were you friends from outside of class?"

"Uncle Ishim, stop interrogating the man," A dark-haired woman with wavy black hair and blunt bangs hurried down the stairs into where they stood. She flashed them both a bright smile that curved up on the left side of her face, just like Cas's. "You haven't even invited the man in properly and you're already grilling him?"

She maneuvered herself between Isham and Dean and gave him a broad welcoming smile. "Hi Dean, I'm Hannah." She shifted the baby on her hip and reached out a hand to shake. She wore a simple gray dress but had familiar, stunning blue eyes.

"Hi, yes, right, Castiel's sister." Dean managed to choke out before shaking her hand.

"Come in, let me make some tea. Castiel has told me all about you and your wife, Lisa. Thank you for looking out for my big brother while he was away." Hannah said with a smile and intense direct eye contact that would have made him uncomfortable before he met Cas but that now felt somehow soothing.

"Oh, yeah, great. She would have come along, but she's working today." The lie was genius because it wasn't entirely a lie. He and Lisa weren't currently married but it painted him as a straight man who presented no threat or worry. He wondered what Cas had told her. If Ishim got it in his head to ask about his home life, he knew what it was like to be married to Lisa, he didn't want to use her like that, but if it would keep suspicions away from Cas, this was a smart way to do it. Hannah was kind of a genius.

He followed her down a hallway and through a sitting room with wingback chairs and delicate upholstered couches. He paused as he saw the overflowing bookcases lining the walls and was momentarily reminded of Bobby.

"These are the congregational bibles, family histories, and the journals of our leaders over the years, detailing family lines and position." Ishim offered, running a finger over the leather-bound journals. "Castiel's father is technically the leader of the community, but he's been lost for 30 years now, so I've taken over the documentation of our home."

"Oh, well, that's great." Dean nodded, trying to keep his mouth shut and say as little as physically possible.

They continued to a large, cozy kitchen where two other women were working cutting vegetables. One turned and raked her eyes over him with a glare. He was dressed the same as always, not exactly out here in gogo shorts and a mesh tank top, but he felt like he might as well be naked under her eyes.

Hannah gestured to Dean to sit and the large country table. It was clean but covered in chaos: books, papers, utensils, tools, pieces of fabric, and someone's knitting. It reminded him so much of Cas it made his heartache. The man was clean, constantly sweeping and wiping things down, but in a constant state of chaos, leaving things everywhere in the small cabin. It made his chest tighten to think about Cas's stuff on their table at home and how much he missed it. "I was worried when Castiel's phone stopped working. We're supposed to talk about his thesis. Um, and mine, he was going to help me. Honestly, I really need his help. I'm a little lost."

"Yes, he is very smart," Hannah nodded, setting the baby in a makeshift playpen in the corner before grabbing a tea kettle. "Mother, this is one of Castiel's friends from school. Dean, this is our mother, Naomi."

"Hello, ma'am." Dean started to stand to shake her hand but Naomi just grunted at him with a raised eyebrow and returned to her work. Her shoulders slumped forward and her auburn hair pulled back into a severe bun. She was beautiful, striking blue eyes and porcelain skin, but she looked like something out of time, stern and anything but maternal.

He sat in the kitchen watching Hannah as Ishim settled against the nearby wall, leaning against it and staring at Dean with his arms crossed. How had he ended up here, in this place that might as well have been another country? He touched his breast pocket to make sure the letter was still there and shuffled his feet in the miserable silence.

"So, Dean," Isham's voice was a mockery of friendly conversation. "Do you and your wife have any kids?"

Fuck

"Um, no sir, not yet. I run two businesses, so that takes a lot of time right now."

"Don't wait forever. You don't wanna be my age with a toddler."

Naomi made a sound that sounded something like a laugh and a grunt smashed together.

"Right, of course not."

"How old are you, son?"

Dean's skin prickled. He hated being called son by anyone but Bobby. Not even his real father had earned that right. "Just turned 29, sir, so there's still time."

"Hannah here is 29 and has three of her own already. Little Ephram is the baby around here for now." Ishim gave a curt nod, just as the kettle whistled that the water was done for their tea.

Hannah bustled around, setting out cups and teabags and pouring hot water. Dean clenched his fists in his lap, trying to keep his focus on her and remembering that she was the reason Cas had survived as long as he did here. She had covered for Dean. There was at least one good person here and Dean thanked whatever God there might be that she was there for Cas.

They sat and sipped tea in silence for a few minutes, Dean's leg bouncing as he wondered what door Cas would come in from, what he looked like now.

"It snowing much in Vermont?" Ishim asked.

Finally, a topic Dean could bullshit his way through. "Not so much yet, sir, but it's comin' I'm sure of it. We've had some ice, though, which makes the roads tricky in the mountains."

After a few minutes of small talk that kept Dean's tension ratcheted high in case he misspoke or somehow gave away why he was really here, the back door opened and a thinner, sharper Cas walked in.

It was all Dean could do not to stand up the instant his eyes landed on his sunken face and pull him into his arms. He had grown in a dark beard, thick and neat, and cut his hair short, the top still sticking out a little wild, as if it refused to be contained no matter the consequences. Dean saw a cut on his right cheekbone and a yellowed blackeye healing on his left, along with a swollen lip. What else was covered by the beard and clothing? He was thinner, dressed in a blue linen shirt and dark gray work pants. And he was beautiful. His eyes instantly honing in on Dean's and flashing in recognition before a frown overtook his face.

Movement just behind him drew Dean's attention. Hanging onto the utility loop of Cas's pants was a small child, blonde with almost iridescent blue eyes, thumb stuck firmly in his mouth.

Cas ushered the boy behind him, out of sight, before closing the door and turning to Dean.

"Hello, Dean. What are you doing here?"

"Oh hey, Cas...tiel. Um, your phone stopped working and I needed to talk to you about my thesis for school. Our advisor, Sam, said, um, he suggested I should drive down and check on you, try to get back in touch." Dean shrugged and fidgeted in his chair, trying his hardest not to do anything weird.

Weird. What even was weird anymore. Look where he fucking was! His entire life now defied the meaning of the word weird.

"Yes, Castiel no longer needed access to his phone," Ishim said harshly. "It was taken away."

"Well, I needed to get in touch with him for school, so…"

Ishim's eye twitched and it was clear he wasn't used to being contradicted. Dean's desire to throttle the man and punch his stupid face until it was concave and bloody only increased.

Cas nodded tersely, his lips pulling into a flat line. "Alright, then, why don't we take a walk." He leaned down and picked the boy up in his arms. Blonde hair hung down around his bright eyes, his cheeks full. He was adorable, the kind of kid you saw in magazines. What the fuck was he doing with Cas?

"Leave Jack here," Ishim said. His tone one not to be trifled with.

"No, Papa Ishim!" the little boy cried, clinging to Cas's neck, his blue eyes growing bigger by the moment. "I wanna go with Daddy!"

"Daddy?" Dean asked, without meaning to.

Hannah shot him a silencing glare.

Cas stood stiffly, rubbing Jack's back with one hand. "He's no trouble,"

Cas opened the door and stepped out, not looking back as Dean followed and shut the door behind him. Dean caught up and walked by his side, noting that Cas had a slight limp. He stole glances at Cas's hard features and Jack's familiar ones.

"Who are you?" Jack asked, peeking around Cas to look at Dean and tilting his head. The boy stole Dean's breath. His mannerisms, his jawline, everything about the little boy screamed Cas.

"I'm, uh, I'm Dean."

"I'm Jack." He held up one hand in greeting and then pat Cas on the face. "This is my Daddy."

"I know," Dean smiled, immediately enamored with the little man. "I'm friends with your Daddy."

Jack scrunched up his face and looked at Dean through distrustful, squinted eyes. "Daddy doesn't have friends."

Dean winced, his heartbreaking as he looked at Cas, who betrayed no emotion to that at all. "Well, now Daddy has me. And he has your Aunt Hannah."

Jack considered that for a moment, until his face brightened, the sun shining directly out of his eyes. "And me. I'm Daddy's friend!"

Cas smiled a big whole heart smile that scrunched his nose up and brought out the lines around his eyes. It threatened to send Dean to his knees with how much he'd missed seeing that. "Yes, Jack, you are my friend."

Cas finally looked at Dean for the first time. His eyes narrow and nervous. He set Jack down with a kiss in his hair and pointed to a tire swing up ahead. "Go play for a while. We can read a story together when I'm done talking to Dean."

"Okay," the boy sang sweetly and toddled off with a small skip to try to climb onto the swing.

"We can speak freely out here. No one is outside in this area at this time of day, but we can be seen through the windows." Cas's voice was inflectionless and he avoided eye contact as much as possible.

"Um, yeah, alright, Daddy."

Castiel sighed and gave him a long-suffering look. "Why are you here, Dean?"

"It's nice to see you too Cas, sure has been a long time." When Castiel said nothing, Dean rolled his eyes. "Sam sent me."

Cas's chin popped up and for a moment, a flash of the old Cas, the one who'd held him and had a life with him, returned. He lifted his eyebrows in question.

"He wanted me to give you this," Dean fished the letter from his jacket pocket and held it out but Cas didn't reach for it. "He said to tell you he did it. That he got it all figured out. And he told me to bring you home."

"I can't return with you," Cas looked over Dean's shoulder at Jack and his voice softened. "I have an obligation here."

"Did Sam know about Jack?" Dean asked, trying not to feel betrayed.

Cas nodded.

Dean hissed at the sting. He knew his brother had to have known, only something this huge would warrant Sam's secrecy, but still, knowing Cas had trusted Sam and not him hurt. "He wouldn't have sent me if you both weren't supposed to come. If anyone understands how important it is to keep family together, it's us. He said he had a court date and you had to physically be there. He said he fixed everything. Open the letter. Maybe it explains things better than I can since he couldn't tell me… everything."

"He didn't tell you? But you still came?"

Dean nodded, looking away from Cas's intense gaze. "I'd have gone to fucking Kurdistan if it meant I could bring you back home."

Cas just nodded again and ripped open the letter. He pulled it out and read it quietly.

"It's a summons. Oh. It's a summons to Family Court to establish paternity. It's a custody hearing." Cas looked up at Dean with softness returning to his features and all Dean wanted in the world was to reach out and pull him into a hug, but he knew that wouldn't be safe here. "But, I'm not a resident of South Dakota, how could I…"

"Yes, you are," Dean smiled and laughed out loud, fuck, his brother was smart. "Sam had me change the electric bill into your name. And he had me hunt for copies of your pay stubs in your stuff. Cas, that's all it takes to establish residency. You could get a new driver's license today with just those two things, no problem."

"And if I have legal custody in another state, Jack can't be taken from me."

"What? Who would take him?"

Cas looked at him and all the hurt and suffering he must have endured for the last months here showed on his face, "Jack has no birth certificate. No social security number. He was born here and his mother is dead. There's no proof he's mine."

"Except that he looks like your damn clone," Dean snarked and the whisper of a smile shone on Cas's face.

"Yes, he does resemble me strongly. Dean, do you remember what I told you about how punishing those you love is an effective tool to keep people in line?"

Dean winced. "They wouldn't hurt a child."

Cas shrugged. "They hurt me when I wasn't much older than he is. Where do you think Jack got the idea I have no friends? Control is insidious. It takes many forms. That's why I had to come back. I couldn't just leave him to this."

Dean fisted his hands. He wasn't sure if it was to stop himself from reaching out to Cas or to keep him from storming back in the house and beating the shit out of Ishim. He shuffled his feet, wishing he had a warmer jacket for standing outside in the Massachusetts winter, and wondered how Cas wasn't cold in just a thin shirt.

"Okay, then what's the plan now?"

"You take this letter back. They can't find it on me." Cas handed the envelope back to Dean who crushed it deep into his jeans pocket.

"I'm not leaving without you," Dean paused and looked behind him, "both. I'm taking you both home."

Cas scrunched up his face and the tip of his nose turned red as he tried not to cry. "Okay, yes. I've been trying… Dean, I've been working for years to find a way to get Jack out of here. Please believe me. I wouldn't have left you if it wasn't something so important.

Dean turned away, not equipped to deal with more than one heartbreak at a time. "We'll talk about it later, Cas. Let's get you out of this fucking place first."

"Um, the Impala is loud and the guards are out here 24 hours a day in rotation, but they're mainly looking to keep people out, not to keep us in. I should be able to get us out tonight with Hannah's help."

"Should she come with us? Is she safe?"

Cas shook his head and looked at the ground. "She's already made her choices. She won't leave and she had kids here. Thank you for thinking of her, though. You are a good man, Dean. I'm so sorry."

"Just, shut up. We don't have time to get into all that and if you don't want me to kiss you or punch you out here, then just let it go for now. We'll deal with that, with us, later." Dean frowned and looked at the ground. "Tonight, though, what time should I meet you? At the wooden bridge. Can you get that far with Jack?"

Cas nodded. "I'll get there, even if I have to carry him the whole way."

"I'd give anything to hold you right now," Dean whispered, schooling his features so anyone watching couldn't imagine the words he'd said.

Cas frowned sadly and looked down. "Tonight. 2 AM. At the wooden bridge."

Dean's stomach wrapped itself in knots as he drove away from the big white house, leaving Cas and Jack behind. Cas and his kid. Cas, who was gay and had never had sex, and a fucking kid who looked exactly like him.

Dean shook his head. There was way too much to think about right now and it never did him any good to jump to conclusions. No matter how wild the speculations in his mind spun, he focused on what he needed to do. Keep Cas and Jack safe.

He fell back into survival mode. It had been a long time but this was exactly how he lived when he and Sammy were still with their Dad. So Dean pulled into the small grocery store in the barely-a-town he found. It had four isles and everything he needed. He loaded up on water and soda, the makings for PB&Js, cookies for the kid, and a bag of apples. They even had a coloring book that came with a little pack of crayons that he grabbed. It was going to be a long car ride.

Once he'd stocked his little cooler and set up a bag of goodies so they wouldn't have to stop for too many snacks, he checked in at a little roadside inn. The rooms were run down and one of the light switches inside did nothing but start a strange churning noise he couldn't find the source of, but it was good enough. He hauled his duffel bag inside, sorted his dirty clothes, and repacked it for the trip home.

When he was convinced he would be ready when it was time to pick up Cas and Jack, he took off his clothes and climbed into the too-soft bed, forcing the questions and fears in his mind to be silent so he could sleep as much as possible. The more rested he was tonight, the farther he could drive before stopping or having Cas take over, and more than anything, he wanted to be back in Sioux Falls where they would be safe.

Just like when he was a teenager, he laid flat on his back and forced his mind blank, playing over lyrics of songs in his head until all other thoughts disappeared and he fell to sleep. It had been his superpower. He could sleep anywhere. Concrete floor and one twin bed? No problem, give it to Sammy. No food and just a sleeping bag in the back of a truck? No problem, Dean would find a way to scrounge up enough change to buy one hotdog and water for Sam at the gas station and he'd sleep in the cab, his 6'1" frame cramped and knotting from the uncomfortable position.

But he did it to keep Sam safe and fed.

And he could do it again now for Cas. Cas and Jack.

His alarm woke him up at 1 AM. He rushed to brush his teeth and throw some water on his face. Taking a moment to stare himself in the mirror. This was nuts. He was about to abduct two people from a fucking armed cult in the middle of the night.

If anyone doubted how he felt about Cas, he was about to fucking prove it.