Disclaimer: This chapter's title is a line from the song "You Will be Found", by BYU Vocal Point.

chapter ii: let that lonely feeling wash away

Everything was blurry when Elsa woke up for the first time after the accident, so she tried to take her hand to her face to rub the remains of sleep from her eyes. The movement, however, made her wince in pain. What's going on? More desperate to find someone to answer her questions, she blinked once, twice, three times— but her sight remained blurry.

Three days later, the world was still blurry but Elsa had a better idea of where she was, literally and metaphorically. Not entirely, though; and she didn't understand it well enough for her to express it in words.

So, when her best friend approached her bed, Elsa was trying to come up with the response to the question she couldn't see in Anna's face but knew to be there. Well, she figured it would be there since it was all people asked her these days; the doctors, the relatives who came to see her. Well, everyone except her grandparents, who seemed to understand her lack of words. They were also, after all, grieving.

"Can you sing something else?" The girl asked in an attempt to delay her friend's questioning until she figured out what to say.

To her credit, Anna didn't argue against her request and immediately started to sing the song "What's This?" from Nightmare Before Christmas.

Listening to Anna sing song after song that day almost made up to the fact that she was unable to see her friend. For reasons Elsa could only guess, it felt different from the other times. It could be because her voice was everything she could have from Anna that moment since, along with her lack of sight, being touched hurt a lot these days. Or perhaps because Anna was only singing their comfort songs.

It was heartwarming, though. Nice, even. Elsa didn't want the moment to end, so she just kept asking for more and more songs until Anna's throat got sore.

Then, because she felt her friend deserved some retribution for her effort and patience, Elsa told her about the doctors' prognosis on her physical injuries and their recovery plans.

They didn't talk about Elsa's feelings. Or about her parents. Or her vision. She knew her friend was curious — who wouldn't be? — but couldn't gather the strength to talk about such topics. Thankfully, Anna didn't ask.

Even on the next day, Anna still kept herself from asking the questions that were haunting both of them. Instead, she shared with Elsa a playlist she had created just for her throughout the past week.

As her friend read the titles for her, Elsa felt adoration and — because of the nature of such songs — grief. Although a musician, Anna didn't speak often through music since she didn't have the patience to wait until the other person read between the lines. That playlist, though— it was a subtle way to tell Elsa about her feelings and concerns as well as ask the questions about her emotional health.

Not that Elsa had any clue on how to answer the questions without turning into a sobbing mess. Not that anyone expected her to be well at that point — her doctors had explained it was normal to grieve and her grandparents had told her it was okay not to be okay right now. The words broke Elsa into tears regardless of how cheesy they were.

If she could pretend to be okay to Anna, perhaps she would be able to convince herself she was okay and, eventually, be okay. Okay?

And didn't that sound passive-aggressive? But Elsa couldn't help it.

~~/~~

Since Elsa didn't want to touch the subject of her emotions, Anna's singing became their mean of communicating them. Anna would sing a song either of them suggested and Elsa responded by humming along, smiling and/or crying. The system worked well for both of them.

The experience of listening to Anna's songs was both old and new. Elsa had gone to all of her concerts and even some band practices but, while she had enjoyed them, it felt that she hadn't appreciated her friend's voice before the accident. Much like its owner, it was soft and honest.

Beautiful.

Much like Anna's singing voice, the traitor thought wasn't new. Elsa had known she was developing feelings for her best friend for months before the accident. How couldn't she when the other girl was such a kind, honest, and beautiful person?

Much like Anna's singing voice, though, the traitor thought had taken a different meaning after the accident. Because for the first time since the realisation she had feelings for the girl, Elsa was more than happy with what they had at that point and would be fine if they never became more than friends.

But she couldn't help but appreciate the few times when Anna had dared touch her. Even though it hurt at first, despite how worried her friend became after even the subtler skin contact. Elsa didn't care. She grabbed back her friend's hand, lied her head on her shoulder and leaned against Anna's soft lips when the girl kissed her cheek or the top of her head before going home at night.

~~/~~

There were times when Elsa didn't know what to do with herself and she kept ruminating difficult, messy thoughts. Her second week in the hospital, for instance, was the worst. She was visited by several different health care professionals lined up to help her cope and adapt. That meant she had to speak about what happened.

First, on Tuesday, an ophthalmologist explained her several experiments and treatments they could try so she could use the most of the vision she still had. Despite seeing nearly nothing but blurred forms most of the time, there were moments when she could focus on objects and see them almost perfectly. On that first conversation, she could hear the doctor's smile when he explained what was called "fluctuating vision", a condition in which the impairment was fluctuated according to factors that varied from person to person. They should test these conditions so she could take the best of the little sight she had left.

This was happy news but it was followed by a progression of other doctors and even an occupational therapist that interrogated, tested, and poked her in more and more creative ways, leaving Elsa in tears later. In addition to that, several family members visited to offer their condolences and express their desire to help with whatever she needed, asking more questions than Elsa was knew how to answer.

Only Anna and Elsa's grandparents kept a respectful distance, waiting for her to feel comfortable about approaching them. Because of them, there were moments when Elsa couldn't feel more loved despite the loss of her parents, despite the helplessness and loneliness that took her every once in a while. She dwelled on the memories with them whenever she felt overwhelmed by grief.

The times when her grandmother helped her keep up with homework since it helped her feel productive. Or how grandfather sat with her for hours discussing a variety of light topics. Or Anna being Anna — with her songs, the little touches and good night kisses, the stupid jokes or gossip spoken in whispers to keep her grandparents' sensitivities protected. They had given her something good to look forward to every day.

It was nice even when it wasn't. Because those moments were light and clear even when her life was blurry and messy.

~~/~~

On the third week, a visit from the occupational therapist planted the seed of an idea in Elsa's mind.

Elsa had been worried about doing therapy since she was still unprepared to talk about her feelings. It turned out that, while occupational therapy was related to her emotional well-being, it was more focused on working around the practical limitations of her condition.

The therapist was a newly graduated man named Olaf, who had the personality and perception of a child. His positiveness matched his intelligence and deep knowledge of the struggles Elsa would go through during her recovery. Having learned in advance about Elsa's scientific curiosity and logical mind, he read to her a series of reports from doctors, therapists, and patients about her condition, all of them optimistic in a rational way.

When he was convinced that Elsa was hopeful — albeit hesitant about it —, Olaf proceeded asking about her hobbies and what she had done to entertain herself during her stay in the hospital. "I know it's boring around here sometimes," he confessed in a whisper, a playfulness his voice that that told her he was pretending he wasn't supposed to say this to their amusement.

The childish behaviour worked well in making Elsa's body relax after the overflow of information he had first delivered her. "Definitely boring," she matched his tone and leaned toward him in a conspiratorial manner, causing him to giggle. Then, in a more serious tone, the girl explained her activities in the past few weeks.

"Well, about your reading and writing activities— there are many options available and we are going to figure out what will work the best for you in time. But— I understand you enjoy learning new things—?" Elsa nodded in response, eager to know what he would suggest. "Well, while we figure out, why don't you learn a new skill? Just to pass some time, occupy your mind while you're stuck here. You said you enjoyed listening to Anna when she's singing; perhaps, she could teach you some tricks so you can sing together. What do you think?"

In truth, Elsa loved to sing when she was alone. She hadn't had the time to learn how to do it properly before, which didn't mean she had never considered a musical education. Her priorities, however, were finishing her education and getting a dream job.

Now, however, she was stuck in a hospital bed without being able to study without her grandmother's help. There was time. Time she could use to learn something Anna loved. Learn something from Anna.

Elsa had a lot to think about but Olaf understood her silence and departed soon after.

Author's Note: Hey. I'd like to thank you all for the response. This fic is supposed to be about finding light in the darkest moments. So, be nice to each other during these trying times and stay safe.

Frozen Wolf heart 22: I've stopped replying reviews here a while ago but your review was amazing and I felt you deserve an answer. First and foremost, my condolences, I hope you are doing alright. Hopefully, this fic can send some good energies without minimizing the impact that losing both of one's parents can have in one's life. Stay safe.