I am melting in southern California. Hope it's cool wherever you are.
Note: I am not against medicine or hospital births. I had a high risk pregnancy and am glad for the care I received. Just wanted to put that out there since attitudes in this chapter may convey otherwise. And if you had a lovely home birth that's great too :)
*Warning for needles if they make you squeamish.
TL;DR
Kylo POV with a touch of Rey at the end.
Whew way to hang in there with this toxic story guys. A few more chapters to go xD
Kylo wakes before Rey. He knows he has slept too long.
Sunlight spills through the bottom crack of the door. The comlink on his wrist flashes. Witt is probably wondering if he abandoned their plan.
Why shouldn't he?
Kylo silently pulls his tunic over his head and stares at Rey. He has a hard time remembering why he is supposed to walk away right now.
Her force abilities are fractured. He has more serum in his bag to drug her into an extended sleep. No one is here to stop him from transporting her to his flagship.
Again, he wonders: what is the point of leaving? His goal is to obtain her: here she is.
Why risk her escaping, why risk the Resistance coming to rescue her?
The latter is unlikely.
Kylo holds Rose prisoner and the Resistance chatter about Rey is not kind. He hears through various sources that Resistance leaders are divided on what to do with her.
So much for her family. Rey should be grateful that he exposes how little the concept of family means. Families betray and hurt each other.
Kylo supposes he needs to leave so that Rey can trust him. So that she will stop looking at him with contempt. So that she will stop fighting him tooth and nail.
Kylo hates how submissive this feels.
He digs around in his bag and pulls out cameras. He installs them in discreet places, cursing himself for not doing this last night. For being distracted by her. He is about finished when he hears a rustle and turns to see Rey sitting up. She looks sick at the sight of him.
Shit.
"Rey…"
She shakes her head and holds a hand out in his direction. That does not stop Kylo. He is one stride away from her. He ignores her waving him away as he hovers over her.
With a heave she vomits all over the floor.
All over his boots.
Her eyes are glassy when she looks up at him.
"It happens every morning. All day, actually."
This is not how Kylo thought the morning was going to go.
Even through their fragmented force link he senses her nausea. He immediately retreats from their connection, not caring for the way the nausea makes him groggy. He does not know how Rey lives with it.
He does not move away fast enough and she vomits for a second time. The rancid smell of bile permeates the space.
Kylo turns to the sink and wets a cool rag for her, he fills a cup with water.
It is what a good person would do.
"Why are you here? You promised to leave me alone," Rey glares as he hands the cup to her, "And don't look so smug. You don't get an award for basic human decency."
"It is hard for me to leave you."
"Right. I learned a while ago you do the exact opposite of what you say, Kylo." She stands and walks to the sink.
He lets her words roll off his back.
"Have you been this ill the entire time? You need medicine, Rey. You need to be able to keep food down."
She shoots him a dark stare over her shoulder as she retches into the sink. It goes on like this for five minutes until he cannot take it anymore.
Kylo locates the medical kit the First Order provides him with. Vitamins, serums, medicine - all things a pregnant woman might need. Kylo carefully removes a needle from the case, shifting it away from Rey so she cannot see him prep it.
"My doctor said I'm fine. Nausea is normal," Rey answers when the symptoms subside. Kylo waits until she is preoccupied with washing her mouth, and scrubbing her face clean before he approaches her from behind.
"I can't tolerate watching you suffer," Kylo mutters into her ear as one hand passes low around her arms, holding them flat against her waist.
"Get off," Rey stomps down hard on his boot, causing Kylo to flinch. He hates to use the force to restrain her, but he does. He holds the vial in his free hand, the needle visible.
"I knew it!" Her voice is strained as she bucks against him. "You're drugging me, you mean to force yourself on me!" She scuffles, trying to head butt him, trying to bite at him - anything to get away.
"I am not," Kylo fastens his grip. "Damnit Rey, stop fighting," he pushes her forward against the sink as his thumb hooks the side of her trousers down, "This will stop the vomiting. It's safe for the baby."
"I don't want drugs in my body! I want a drug free pregnancy! Stop it!" She squirms desperately against his chest.
"I said hold still," with a steady hand Kylo jams the needle into her upper thigh. He waits until the vial is empty and quickly pulls her trousers up. He spins her around to face him.
Tears well up in her eyes.
"You're unbelievable," she says through clenched teeth. She shakes with outrage. "My body does not belong to you! Do you have any idea how much it scares me when you act like that?"
For a second Kylo is conflicted. His jaw works, the muscles pulled tight. He opens his mouth to speak but no more than a syllable comes out. Finally, he manages to string together a sentence.
"I'm sorry. But I would rather take action than engage in an endless debate. It is the most effective way to handle you. You're too stubborn. Once the medicine kicks in you will thank me. Your health isn't a joke, Rey."
"Handle me? You just didn't like your boots getting soiled."
She has the gall to shove his shoulder - hard - as she stalks past him. The drink last night not only replenishes her vitamins but her bold attitude as well.
She thinks she can rough him up? Can push him around, and in her current condition?
Her drive to be independent, to be dominant - it angers and turns him on. Kylo consciously buckles down on his self control.
His comlink flashes. He needs to leave.
"Where did you hide my lightsaber?"
"I did not hide it. It's up there," Kylo points at the highest shelf in the kitchen space. He placed it there knowing she cannot reach it. He wants to see if Rey's force abilities are so diminished that she cannot call it to her. A simple task.
Rey stands on her tiptoes, reaching for her lightsaber. She huffs, not able to acquire it.
She refuses to look at Kylo and slams a stool in front of her. Even with the added height she cannot grasp it. The saber rests against the stone wall. Kylo hears Rey talk under her breath about being huge and useless, about her growing belly getting in the way.
"It looks like you could use help," Kylo states placidly.
He should be ashamed of these microaggressions, the methods he uses to toy with her in the smallest of ways. How he uses her for his amusement.
"Once I reconnect with the force it won't be a problem," she spits as he calls the lightsaber down. She aggressively pulls the floating saber from the air.
"You're not useless. You're beautiful, Rey. Pregnancy becomes you," Kylo begins unpacking the goods he brought. A task he should have completed last night. He looks at the fullness of her belly and muses.
"It's hard to imagine you'll only get bigger."
Kylo realizes his blunder as the words leave his mouth. Rey's face flushes bright red.
"I can't believe Han and Leia raised you. The way you speak to me, Kylo…." she shakes her head.
"I wouldn't say they raised me," he responds dryly, "Their favored child was the Resistance. I only meant…" Kylo can't think of a way to salvage his comment. He only means he cannot believe how incredible it is that her body is able to change to accommodate their son. He thinks it is extraordinary. Kylo flips the focus back to her health.
"Rey, tell me you plan on giving birth in a hospital."
She does not have a choice - Kylo will watch his son be born in the medic ward on the First Order Flagship. If she is anti-medicine this will be considerably more challenging than it needs to be.
He resumes unpacking and awaits her answer.
The silence is uncomfortably long and he finally looks at her face. Her expression is dark and furious. She storms over and pokes him hard in the chest.
"You have absolutely no say in how I give birth. I won't be in a hospital unless there is a problem. I want my midwife at my side - who is a doctor, by the way."
Kylo almost drops the food he unpacks. Raisa. His undercover First Order agent. Rey's doctor and midwife. Even now Rey assumes she will be returning to the Resistance base.
Kylo keeps a cool expression. Rey has no idea how deep his control runs.
He follows Witt's advice.
"Fine. But I'm entitled to ask. It's my baby too. I'm the reason…" Kylo wants to say he is the reason she is pregnant. Bringing up sex, especially sex with him, upsets her and his sentence ends there.
The fight brewing in Rey's face diminishes - a little.
Kylo makes a show of displaying the food. He ordered Witt to gather items that might appeal to a pregnant woman, along with gourmet foods he is sure Rey has never heard of.
"I'll never be able to eat all of this," she says, distracted by the bottles and jars that vary in height and color; the piles of bread, fruits, and vegetables. Meat and fish packed between chunks of ice, desserts that make her mouth water.
"Why are you doing this again?" Her hungry gaze lingers on the jar of sparkbee honey. A delicacy and near impossible to find.
"I told you," Kylo twists the jar lid off, "I am trying to better. I am trying to take care of you."
Kylo unwraps a loaf of bread and tears off a chunk. He is about to dip it into the honey for her when Rey plunges two fingers into the jar.
He watches, entranced as she licks the sweet liquid off her fingers. This action is innocent and too much for him to endure.
"You couldn't wait?" Kylo can't keep the irritation out of his voice. Irritation that something as innocuous as her simply eating sets his insides on fire.
Rey shrugs.
"I'm a dirty scavenger. This is how I eat."
Kylo sets the jar down. She enrages him.
"Don't talk about yourself like that."
She dips her fingers in for a second time.
"Why not? You do. All the time."
Kylo catches her wrist before she dives in for a third time.
His eyes flick up to hers, and he is positive she is going to try and wiggle from his grip.
She doesn't.
It feels natural to step forward and place a hand in the small of her back, to draw her closer. To use the other to trace the line of her jaw.
To lean down and catch her soft lips in a kiss that's warm and slow and sweet. It is not because of the honey - Rey always tastes sweet. He's told her as much.
His hands travel from her waist to her backside. He slips his hands under the waistband of her pants, past her undergarments. Her ass is tight, supple. Kylo kisses her harder, walking her back to the bed. She isn't fighting this.
Kylo pulls back to catch his breath.
The tears swelling in her eyes are not what he hoped to see. Disappointment crushes him.
Her eyes are downcast.
"I knew in the end you would want this."
He removes his hands from her body.
"And you don't."
The expression on her face is one of unreadable torment. Rey's eyes veer back up to meet his. "I've endured all the lies and hurt you've spewed at me for...for longer than I care to think about. I've endured your abuse and nastiness to try and survive. To try and find some peace. Can't you let me have some of that peace? I can't bear it, Kylo. I can't bear being pushed into sleeping with you again. I am so tired."
Kylo retreats. He stops crowding her.
Rey will not always reject him, deny him.
"I understand," his voice is soothing, sympathetic. His dark eyes seem to fill his face.
Rey protectively covers her abdomen.
"I won't push you into going to bed with me. I am trying to give you peace. By keeping you safe on this island and bringing you goods. Please don't think of going back to the Resistance. It's dangerous Rey - you will end up in the crossfire of battle."
"It wouldn't be dangerous if you stopped bombing us. If you stopped assaulting the Resistance. You have your title and your army Kylo. Why can't you retreat to the outer rim and rule there? Leave us alone."
Kylo is prepared for this argument. He rolls up his sleeve to reveal his comlink.
"The Resistance is no friend of yours, Rey. Watch." He pushes a button and a miniature hologram manifests.
A man Rey saw briefly in Leia's office appears. He speaks in front of a crowd of Resistance leaders.
"I have been informed Rey fled the attack with Kylo Ren. Shortly after she helped him destroy the Knight's flagship. It is a low blow, that one of our most trusted Resistance members betrays us in this manner. For now we must treat her as an adversary. Unfortunately, it is not surprising since she carries his child. Her change in allegiance wounds us all, deeply.
Rey gasps loudly in shock.
"That - that's not what happened!" She cries, "Tell them Kylo, you have to tell them the truth! The Resistance has to know I would never cross them! Oh force! What am I going to do?" She rubs her temple.
Kylo thinks it is cute the way she uses force as a curse. She is capable of formidable anger, but pregnant and helpless, he finds her dismay adorable...alluring even.
He turns off the comlink and looks at her with what he hopes passes for a sad expression.
"The Resistance does not trust anything I say. I am sorry Rey. Please, stay here - just for a little while longer."
A little while longer until she is near her time, until she loses herself in the comfort of items he will deliver. Until she grows so lonely that she aches for his companionship.
"Here," he hands her a sack of fragrant soaps, shampoos, scrubs, and oils. "Bathe yourself. Eat. Get some rest. Think of the baby, Rey. We can at least be united in that."
Kylo leaves her in privacy to digest his words. He steps outside. The fresh sea air startles his senses.
At least he managed to get some medicine in her body. At least, he managed to get away with a kiss.
A paltry payment for his efforts.
He calls his discarded saber to his hand and makes for his shuttle.
Kylo will not let himself fall into a false sense of security. He flips a few switches in the shuttle and Rey appears on the screen in front of him. The surveillance cameras are a good idea.
She begins to undress and Kylo grows hot at the thought of watching her bathe, of watching her touch herself.
A familiar sensation spreads in his groin until Rey exits the confines of the hut.
He surmises she has gone to bathe outside.
Kylo sighs. He can't get his way every time.
A shocked feeling rumbles around Rey's brain as she submerges herself into a small pool of water.
When she comes up she floats on her back, tracing the dark line that spreads from her belly button to her pubic area.
"What am I going to do? What are we going to do?"
She has taken to talking to the baby. She feels a light kick but Rey knows he is not answering her question. This child of hers - he moves non-stop in her womb.
Rey is grateful that however broken her force abilities are, her bond with her son remains intact and strong. She senses him, his energy healthy and bright.
An unexpected feeling of serenity floods her as rays of sunlight dance delicately across the water. She cannot indulge herself in this tranquility for too long. Rey's fingertips caress the spot on her thigh where Kylo stuck her with a needle.
Allowing him to act out his performance takes a toll on her. That's all it is. Rey will not allow herself to be fooled into thinking his change in demeanor is genuine.
The Resistance would never think her a traitor if Rose made it back safely to them.
Kylo holds her in a cell, Rey is certain of it.
She cannot let on that she knows - she needs to combat him with a plan of her own.
Rey is not sure how she can play along until he notices her behavior is out of character. She is not submissive and never will be.
Immersing herself in the water once more, she constructs a plot to rescue Rose - and herself.