Geez how did 2 weeks go by?! Yikes, I got busy with RL, writing fluff, and a one-shot I owed someone.
I really appreciate the feedback and comments though!
Thank you Guest, ToughSpirit, and Lstorm for reading and commenting.
Rey and Kylo are such a mess in this fic. It's a trainwreck for reals.
TL;DR
Kylo POV/Rey POV.
Thank you to suzeraine for beta-ing.
Edit: I had to reload this chapter twice because random words were missing. But in my original document they are *not* missing. So weird. Let's see how this upload goes...annnd yup, the words are still missing. wut.
"It is perfect."
There is no mistaking the note of satisfaction in his voice.
Kylo stands in the command center, his attention split between the two holograms circling in front of him.
The most important hologram is of Rey, fast asleep, unaware that she is being watched.
The second displays a sprawling fortress. The fortress is perched on top of a mountain surrounded by steep slopes. Sleet and snow pile against massive, half-ruined walls, the structure crumbling, but still impressive.
It is the abandoned fortress of the Sith Lord, Ludo Kressh. It was not built to showcase finery or demonstrate frivolous displays of power: the fortress was intended to act as a military stronghold in order to overpower Kresshs' nemesis Naga Sadow.
Kressh and Sadow reigned during the golden age of the Sith, and though somewhat forgotten, the fortress is a testament to the legacy of the dark side.
Kylo thinks it will make a fine home for his family, he can protect them there. The fortress is difficult to reach, the terrain is harsh and unforgiving. It is also located on one of the few Sith Holy worlds: Rhelg.
Kylo turns to the officer standing silently behind him.
"Have you sent the team I assembled?"
"Yes, Supreme Leader."
"Good."
Kylo turns back to the hologram. Rey will not like Rhelg anymore than she liked Dathomir. It is no secret that dark adepts have attempted to raid the fortress in search of precious artifacts and weapons. Each one of them fails. In the end they return stuttering with stories of ghosts and dark magic.
Nothing more than ridiculous over-dramatized stories. Kylo doesn't buy any of it, he is not superstitious.
All the same, he senses the hesitation and fear in the team he assembles to repair the fortress. They fear going mad or falling under a dark spell, and Kylo chuckles softly at how weak they are.
Rey and his son will be safe behind its walls and terrifying reputation. There is potential for the darkness to overwhelm the light in Rey, but he will keep her too busy to notice. She will have a baby to care for, and then he'll give her another one. She will lose herself in her love for her family.
Kylo's attention is drawn to the hologram of Rey. She sits up for a moment and shifts, seemingly trying to find a position that is comfortable. Her belly is proportionally larger than her slender frame and Kylo wonders how she will make it through the next few months. She is going to depend on him more and more. He rather likes the idea of her at his mercy.
No - Kylo reprimands himself - not mercy. He has to stop thinking like that.
Rey's tunic hikes over her belly and her breasts spill halfway out. His mouth goes dry. She is stunning. His need for Rey increased exponentially since she became pregnant, and even more so since she began to show.
Aware of how exposed she is, Kylo dismisses the officers and remaining stormtroopers from the command center.
He switches off the hologram of the fortress and searches the security footage from his private chamber. Only he has access to these files, only he knows the code.
Snoke was a fool not to have cameras in his throne room. An oversight Kylo is glad for, but a mistake he will not repeat.
The first hologram he pulls up is the one of Rey kissing him in front of Rose.
Kylo likes it because it shows his shock at her initiating the kiss. Rey is obviously pregnant, it is obviously his doing, and he wears nothing but a towel. It is an intimate, private moment between them.
In the background Rose's genuine disgust is a bonus. Her horror at Rey's behavior confirms that Rey is not being held against her will.
Kylo imagines the Resistance will have a similar response when he sends a copy of the holo to them.
He replays the holo and feels conflicted. What goes on in their bedroom is private. But she is dressed, she is decent - he would never dream of sending an explicit video.
Not unless circumstances demanded it.
Kylo can't help feeling proud that he has her. He wants to show her off, he wants to gloat, he wants to flaunt his victory: Rey loves him, she wants him.
For once in his life someone wants and accepts him.
The Resistance thinks she is a traitor - why not reinforce their stance? Kylo does not want the Resistance to think she is worth rescuing. He wants them to believe she is too far gone.
He sends it.
The guilt he prepares to feel never comes. Kylo exhales sharply.
For a long time guilt was all he felt, it was the biggest obstacle he had to push through in order to pursue Rey.
His constant inner turmoil over his methods almost cost him everything - he can never forget how he was a hair's breadth from letting Rey escape with Rose in the forest.
Watching her heart break in his throne room when she realized his deception - now that was hard. Kylo still feels guilty about that.
But he no longer feels regret, and that is for one simple reason: his perseverance has paid off.
Every atrocious move he made against her, every betrayal, every lie, every hurtful word he wounded her with has played out in his favor.
Because she's here, isn't she?
She's sleeping in his bed, she's kissing him. Kylo caught her examining and organizing some of the infant items in the room earlier - an act he finds surprisingly intimate.
Kylo never wants to hurt her again. He hopes she never gives him a reason to hurt her.
He is about to leave the command center when he remembers that Rose Tico still exists.
Irritation pulses through his veins.
Rey is attached to her rebellious little friend and Kylo is skeptical about the female issues Rey wanted to discuss with Tico.
Kylo needs to make sure Tico does not plant seeds of doubt in her mind, so he searches for the hologram of the discussion that took place between the two women in his bedroom.
Well.
Rey is a woman. He does not know what category of creature Tico falls under.
He finds the holo, increases the volume, and is about to let it play when a flicker of movement catches his eye.
Rey is awake.
She looks concerned, disoriented. He dips into their bond and feels her apprehension. About what? The wedding? Did Doctor Veduta scare her with the talk of high blood pressure?
Kylo saves a copy of the hologram before turning off the holoprojector. It can wait.
Right now he needs to go to Rey.
He steps out of the command center and orders the first officer he sees to have food sent to his quarters. It is imperative that Rey takes her medicine, even if he has to administer it himself. The minor spike in blood pressure might be an insignificant symptom right now, but Kylo will not lose Rey to a pregnancy-related complication.
He makes his way to the turbolift while speaking into the comlink on his wrist.
"General Witt, where is Tico?"
"Supreme Leader Ren, I have her separating the parts of disassembled droids. She is a quick and efficient worker."
"Keep her occupied. Don't leave her alone with Rey."
"Yes sir."
Kylo exits the turbolift and walks in long rapid strides to his chambers. He can't get to her fast enough. He shouldn't leave her alone. The loss of control he feels at not being able to monitor her every move makes him anxious.
The crease in his brow relaxes when he unlocks his door and spots Rey. She is awake and standing, facing away from him. She is in a state of undress and he catches the naked skin of her back as she slips on one of his dark tunics over her head.
Kylo could swear his heart stops at the sight.
Is she trying to be ridiculously appealing or is it just her nature to be irresistible to him?
He comes up behind her and gently wraps his arms around her waist before she gets the chance to turn her head.
"Rey," he murmurs, kissing her hair, her ear. He loves the way she smells, he loves the way she looks and feels in his clothing, "Why are you wearing my shirt?"
She leans against his chest and tilts her head up to look at him.
"It's comfortable. Large. I think the baby went through a growth spurt because my clothes feel too constricting."
Large is one way to describe his clothing on her. The tunic sleeves are about ten sizes too long and he pulls them up to her elbows. He thinks she looks adorable.
"Where were you, Kylo?" She asks.
Her voice is the sweetest sound in the galaxy to him, especially when she says his name without the vitriol he grew so used to hearing.
"Making preparations," Kylo answers, and his hands glide past her waist and down her bare thighs, "the wedding is tomorrow."
"So soon?" Rey's catches his hands before they drift underneath the tunic.
"Yes," he kisses the nape of her neck, "It's going to be us, the officiant, and the general as our witness."
"But you said the First Order fleet -"
"The fleet will join us in orbit. For show, more than anything. The entire galaxy will witness the ceremony through holonet. I thought you would prefer a simple wedding."
Rey weaves her fingers with his as she holds his hands.
"What if I want a larger ceremony? I'd like Rose to be there, and you promised me a dress."
Kylo's mouth sets into a firm line. He isn't sure where the motivation for a big wedding is coming from. Rey is practical, not extravagant. She cares for him, but she does not approve of the First Order. That much is obvious.
Rey lets out an exasperated sigh at his prolonged silence.
"Please, Kylo? I would like to have a say in how our wedding day goes. I'm your partner."
"You're my future wife," he corrects.
She makes a disapproving noise.
"Is there really a difference?"
Kylo is about to tell her the word partner makes them equals, whereas wife means she belongs to him. It means he owns her and she will submit to him.
It's a bad idea to try and explain his thought process to Rey. She won't understand. He responds with a hint of reluctance in his voice.
"I suppose there isn't much difference."
Rey smiles.
It's a lovely sight, her smile.
"It's just, I could do with a day of feeling special, Kylo. Especially with this," she frees a hand to run over her stomach, "making me more uncomfortable each day."
Kylo thinks it's an honest appeal. He never pegged Rey for one of those women who would obsess over a wedding, but maybe that's a good thing. She needs to keep her mind engaged.
"I could delay it for another two days. You have been on your best behavior, afterall."
"Kylo," the way she says his name expresses her annoyance. She arches away from him, "You're doing it again. You're acting like I am your -"
"Possession. I know. But Rey, you don't have to worry anymore. I will protect you, I'll provide for you. I'll give you anything you want. Doesn't it feel good, not to have to worry?"
"About what?"
"Anything."
Kylo pulls her closer, afraid that if he lets go she will disappear as she has so many times in his dreams. He is afraid of returning to a life without her; a life that for him is empty without her in it.
Three consecutive knocks at the door cause Kylo to begrudgingly pull away from Rey. A droid rolls inside, delivering a tray of food and drink.
"It's all for you," He motions as the tray is placed on the nightstand, "You need to take your medicine twice a day with food."
"You remembered," Rey pads over to examine the ample food and drink offerings.
Kylo shucks off his trousers and unzips his tunic. He slides open a lacquered dresser drawer while Rey fiddles with her food. He finds what he is searching for and looks at Rey.
"I remember everything that relates to you," he says, taking his time walking over to her. This time, he rests one hand on her belly, "No one understands you like I do, Rey. No one loves you the way I love you. That's why I want you to have this."
He carefully loops a necklace around her neck, clasping it in the back. She tenses and he leans in to rest his cheek against hers.
"It's not a tracking device. It was my grandmother's necklace. I wanted to give it to you after the baby was born but…I couldn't wait."
Rey turns around, still in his arms. The necklace is a simple silver chain. There are no markings, no ornate designs. Unusual, given the planet it originates from is known for flamboyant fashion. Kylo reads her curiosity.
"The necklace wasn't made to display wealth or power. It was a personal gift from my grandfather. It suits you."
"Oh," her eyes widen, "This is...it is beautiful, Kylo. I don't know what to say. Thank you." She arches on her tiptoes to kiss him.
"Rey," he whispers against her lips, "you don't have to thank me. I love you."
"I love you too, Kylo."
He freezes.
"What?" The word is a broken whisper. His throat tightens a little, his eyes sting.
Rey's gaze is deep and serious.
"I love you."
Kylo is vaguely cognizant of hot tears running down his cheeks. He doesn't care.
She said the three words he never thought he'd hear again.
"It's okay," she pushes his hair back from his brow, "You're not alone anymore. I'm here."
Her words cause each tear to fall harder and she touches the warm place behind his jaw and hollow of his throat before her fingers rest on his chest. Their lips touch, his eyes close, and Kylo just lets himself feel. He never wants this moment between them to end.
Rey tastes the salt of Kylo's tears mixed in with her own. She can't help but shed a few tears.
She had hoped to find a way to stop Kylo, but not like this. Not at all like this.
Rey thrusts her fingers into the thickness of his black hair, angling her mouth to explore him deeper. She is clearly the dominant one in this pairing and Kylo moans, his arms tightening around her.
As they kiss she feels a calmness spread inside of him, washing away years of rejection and depression.
She buries a wave of sadness, a pang of shame.
Kylo believes her love for him is true.
Rey knew her timing would have to be perfect, her delivery impeccable. Above all else, he would need to feel her love through their bond. She dug deep into the recesses of her mind, willing herself to pretend she was speaking to Ben.
It left her feeling more than a little sick.
A string tugs at her heart, warning her that this level of deception is wrong. Did that warning ever pull at Kylo's heartstrings when he lied to her all those months ago?
Rey doubts she will ever know.
She does not want to feel compassion for him, it's the last thing he deserves. Compassion will be her undoing, she will never escape him if -
Rey stops. Under normal circumstances she considers compassion her greatest strength. If she tries to extinguish it, even temporarily, what does that make her?
No. She can't dwell on that right now - she needs to focus. She needs to commit herself to her plan and follow it through.
Don't feel, don't think, just act, the mantra repeats in her mind.
But it doesn't work - losing herself to her guilt costs her. Her dominant display falters and Kylo is more than ready to pick up the slack.
He lifts her onto the bed like she weighs nothing and Rey is suddenly aware of his hand inching up her inner thigh, pulling down her shorts.
Right.
Rey expected this to happen after she confessed her love. She meant for Kylo to consume a minor amount of the poison before any intimacy started, but events escalated faster than she anticipated.
Now she is in a bind - she can't refuse him, she can't raise his suspicions.
Rey tells herself that it will be fine. They've had sex before. He's never been violent or sadistic in bed. She can do this - she can mentally transport herself somewhere outside of her body.
Now that it's happening, she's not so sure that she can.
Kylo easily lifts the tunic over her shoulders and she is naked. If Kylo senses her unease he gives no indication, he simply starts to kiss his way down her body: along her throat, over her breasts, down the bulge of her belly to her thighs. He kisses the inner softness of her knees and moves to part her legs.
Rey clutches at his shoulders, her nails digging into his skin. Kylo glances up.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she quickly assures him, but her legs are stiff. They refuse to move when he tries to pry them apart. He is so close, his warm breath stirs her curls down there.
"Rey...tell me what's wrong."
Kylo moves above her and catches her bottom lip with his mouth, tugging on it lightly, almost playfully. Their noses brush together in a movement that is gentle. His eyes bore into hers.
"Tell me."
Rey backs up against the headboard, trying to formulate an acceptable answer.
"I...Kylo, it's been so long since we...and I'm bigger now…"
A darkness rises in him as she fumbles her way through an excuse. For a split second Rey is sure he sees through her charade.
Instead his features soften. He reaches across her chest and grabs a cup filled with liquid from the nightstand.
"Drink this," he says, "I don't want you having another panic attack. You have nothing to be ashamed of, Rey. Of your body, I mean. You'll always be beautiful to me."
The thundering in her heart eases. He senses her shame and interprets it as bashfulness - as embarrassment.
"Go on, drink. It will calm you, and then we will continue," he states, pushing the cup towards her.
That particular cup, the one with the strange orange liquid, contains a drop of the poison in it.
And now he offers it to her, holding it right under her chin. This is an opportunity.
Rey wrinkles her nose.
"I don't like how that one smells."
"Smells?"
"It's probably a pregnancy related aversion," she explains, "Though I hate to see any food or drink go to waste."
"It won't," Kylo says and swallows it in one gulp.
The act elicits a small gasp from Rey. She underestimates how much he wants to please her.
As she watches him set the cup down, she finds herself hoping she put enough serum in the beverage. Kylo is enormous and she has no idea how much his body can tolerate. There is also the possibility that any amount of the poison could kill him. The realization hits her in a way she doesn't expect.
It's a gamble she has to take.
Kylo stands and makes a face.
"That is rather sweet tasting."
Rey nods and drinks clean water from a canteen. The baby begins to kick wildly and she wonders if he can sense that something is wrong - that his mother is poisoning his father. She rubs her stomach, trying to soothe the baby when she notices Kylo sway from side to side.
He can barely stand and it takes her a second to realize he is moving towards her in unsteady staggers.
"Rey…" Kylo's voice fades in and out of fluctuating consciousness. He braces himself against the wall for support, suddenly unable to stay up any longer.
He starts to fall and Rey reacts instantly.
She is there to catch him, calling on the Force to prevent him from hitting the floor. Even so, she struggles with his body as she drags him towards the bed. With one last heave she has him resting on the mattress.
Force he is heavy. All muscle and mass.
Rey dresses while watching him for any signs of movement. She shovels food into her mouth while she yanks her leggings up, not wanting to waste any time.
She does not need to feel his pulse to know he is still alive. His life force vibrates through their connection and the baby calms.
Your father is fine.
In her darker moments of self doubt, Rey asks herself the same question Witt posed to her: why doesn't she kill Kylo and move on with her life?
But then she feels the protest from her son, she feels his alarm that his mother is unbalanced.
"I'm not going to kill your father," she says it out loud, "I'm not like him. He will answer for his crimes after I apprehend him."
Hearing the strength and conviction in her voice does something to Rey. Her survival instincts overpower her angst and she sprints over to Kylo's desk. She takes his datapad and lightsaber. It is a bold maneuver, but she doesn't have time to search for her saber.
Rey is fairly confident she will be able to move throughout the flagship without being harassed. Everyone on board knows she is betrothed to Kylo Ren. They will not risk disturbing her and awakening his wrath.
If their allegiance is not to Kylo Ren, if any First Order members are in on Witt's plot to overthrow him, she won't be bothered either. She is essential to Witt's coup.
Still, she needs to be prepared for anything. Rey lifts Kylo's arm and presses a button on the comlink attached to his wrist.
"Supreme Leader Ren," Witt's voice answers.
"This is Rey. Kylo is indisposed. I need to meet with you and Rose."
"Come to my office."
The comlink disconnects.
With a quiet click of the bedchamber doors, Rey begins moving swiftly through the corridors. She follows the map on the datapad to Witt's headquarters.
The biggest question is not knowing when Kylo will wake up. Will he know he was poisoned? Rey needs to make it back in time to allay his fears, to field his queries.
There is one thing she can do, one course of action she can take that will ensure Kylo never doubts her trust or dedication to him again.
The baby flails at her scheme, kicking and rolling. Rey tries to ignore it.
She keeps her link to Kylo open, hoping to know the moment he begins to stir.
Right now every second counts.
Rey exudes confidence and authority as she advances throughout the ship. A few dubious glances are thrown her way but she keeps moving, not stopping once, not even to catch her breath.
When she arrives at Witt's office the doors open before she can knock.
There must be cameras. A chill creeps up her spine. How much can Witt see of her interactions with Kylo? She assumed because Snoke had sparse camera surveillance that Kylo would do the same.
Not so.
Thankfully, her anxiety decreases when she sees Rose standing at Witt's side, in one piece and unharmed.
"Is he dead?" Rose blurts out.
"Not yet," Rey responds cooly. She stares at Witt. "I won't kill him until you make good on your promise. When do Rose and I escape?"
Witt seems surprised by her forwardness and commanding tone. She strokes the hilt of her blaster as her stony stare fixates on Rey.
"I expected you to come here informing me of Kylo Ren's death. You've had the poison in your possession for hours. Why are you hesitating?" Her eyes narrow.
"How do I know you'll let us escape?" Rey counters and nods towards Rose, "Prove to me that you won't betray us."
General Witt stomps out from behind her desk and strikes Rey with the handle of her blaster, hard.
"You think you are in a position to make demands?"
She sniffs.
"I don't take orders from the slut carrying Kylo Ren's bastard child. You answer to me, Rey."
For a moment Rey is stunned. Her mind is fuzzy, she tastes blood in her mouth, she feels blood run down her temple. It stings, but her expression remains neutral. Her misgivings about Witt were right: The woman cannot be trusted. She wants to rule the First Order by any means necessary.
Rey needs to be strong. She needs to save herself, her friends, her son.
She sucks in a deep breath.
"I don't answer to you."
She ignites Kylo's lightsaber and drives the red blade through Witt's chest. Rose stifles a yelp and jumps back.
"That wasn't a part of the original plan, Rey!"
"I know," Rey shakes badly. She deactivates the saber and watches as Witt's body convulses one last time.
"But she wasn't going to let us go Rose. She didn't plan on letting us live."
"You could sense it?"
"Yes. And Kylo needs to trust me. He can't question my loyalty to him. I need to convince him that Witt meant to poison us both - that I killed her in our defense."
The only noise in the office is the sizzle of Witt's flesh.
"Rose, I need you to contact the Resistance and tell them to arrive in two-days time. Tell them the entire First Order fleet will be in orbit. The wedding will be a huge distraction and hopefully," she stares at Witt's body, "I'll convince Kylo to let us access the command center. We need to break into the system and disable the firing system - or at least scramble it."
Rose continues to appear stunned.
"Okay. Alright, so...Kylo is going to find out you killed Witt. And you expect him to believe you did it in self defense. To protect him and yourself?"
"Yes," Rey answers, "He will believe me. I'll show him Witt's plan through the Force. I'll filter out bits of it," she adds hastily.
"Why not kill him, Rey?" Rose asks quietly, "I understand why you need him alive for now, but why bring him back to the Resistance? You meant to blow him up on the Knight's flagship."
Bringing up the flagship debacle makes Rey cringe.
"I don't want to have to explain to my son why I killed his father."
Rose sits in the former General's chair, working on logging into the computer system. She does not glance up as she types.
"But it's okay if your son knows you've killed other people?"
"I don't enjoy killing, Rose."
"Never said you did."
A beat of silence.
"Nice necklace. A gift from Kylo Ren?"
Rey sets her jaw.
"Sorry," Rose sighs, "I just think you'll regret letting him live."
There is truth in the words she speaks, but Rey doesn't know how to explain her choices to Rose.
She's trying her best, but it doesn't seem to be good enough.
Instead Rey opts to listen as Rose successfully makes contact with the Resistance.