Hello Again,
Disclaimer: I do not own Steven Universe. That glory belongs to Rebecca Sugar and the Crewniverse. The only thing(s) that I own are my multiple OCs and the plot of this story.
Anyway, get ready for another debut(s) as you read this chapter.
Enjoy!
Chapter 3:
One Step at a Time
It's only been a few days since Steven's return and even though he halts himself when it comes to helping others, that hasn't stopped him from taking back his role at Beach City's social butterfly. He's been hanging out with his Dad, spending time with the Gems, catching up with human friends, and of course, helping Connie study for school by using flashcards. Even though it was great to catch up with everyone, he can't help but wonder if he should tone down his activity or if there's something else that he should do.
Right now, he's enjoying his time chatting with the first non-crystal gem friend he ever made, Nephrite, or as he originally knew her as, Centi, along with her fellow Nephrite friends. They were listening to Steven talk about one of his favorite destinations he saw during his travels.
"So yeah, it might not be made of actual gold, but Golden State is still very beautiful, especially around this time of year. Their beaches are great to check out too. I mean, for me, nothing can beat the one here, but the one's over there definitely come close."
"Is that where you're considering moving too?" Centi asked Steven with a look of excitement and curiousness.
"At first, I thought yeah, but after seeing how much it costs to live there, slightly less. I mean my dad has enough money to help me find a place there, but still, it's a lot." Steven explained.
As the group laughed amongst themselves at Stevens comment, Centi and her friends heard and felt a buzzing on their phones, reminding them that they had to wrap up their chat with Steven.
"Looks like this is our cue to head back to Little Homeschool." Centi told Steven
"Alright. Which class are you guys heading to?" Steven asked them
"Peridot is teaching one about writing. This week's lesson is focused on TV criticism." One of the Nephrites said.
TV Criticism huh? I wonder what they'd be criticizing.
Steven thought with sarcasm as he was certain Peridot would use the reboot of their favorite Great North television series "Camp Pining Hearts", "The Return of Camp Pining Hearts".
"And later on, Pearl is teaching one about group chatting." Centi said with excitement.
"Speaking of which, I still can't figure out what "TTYL" means. Does anyone know what it stands for?" One of them asked as the others hunched up their shoulders as they didn't know either.
"It means "Talk To You Later"" Steven answered warmly.
"Thank You! That's been on my gem for days"
"We better get moving. It was great catching up with you Steven." Centi said as she and the other Nephrites left.
"Yeah! It was great catching up with you guys too. Have fun!" he said as he waved at them.
When Steven saw them leave, he thought back as to when Little Homeworld was first being built after he and the Diamonds cured all the corrupted gems. How could he forget constructing it, organizing the classes and of course teaching there.
"Good Times" Steven said to himself
However, he also remembered that around that time, he was beginning to lose not only control of his powers, but himself as well. He was forcing himself onto others. He hurt himself mentally with all the stress and trauma he repressed over the years. In doing so, it caused him to glow pink, hurt others with his powers and even turning himself into-
What interrupted Steven's train of thought was that he noticed his skin was showing a slight glow of his signature color. Realizing that, he calmly breathed in and out through his nose. As he did, the glow faded away and he was calm again.
I'm glad to be back in town, but was this really a good decision? I mean, I visited from time to time, but this is gonna be for months. Can I really handle it? WAIT! Remember Universe, you have not only your friends and family's love, but you also have a therapist now too. You have an appointment with him tomorrow anyway. Just explain all this to him and hear what he has to say.
With that thought out of the way, he looked up at the sky, ready for his upcoming appointment with his therapist that won't be over the phone.
As the next day came, Steven drove to a one story building and parked his car in the parking lot. As he got out, he slowly breathed in and out to prepare himself to see his therapist. Entering the building, checking in at the front desk and sitting in a small waiting room, he patiently waited for his name to be called. After a couple minutes, he heard the door to his therapist's room open up with his latest patient leaving, Onion.
"I'm glad we're making some real progress Onion. Don't forget to focus on your abdominal breathing whenever you feel the urge to break something". The doctor said to Onion as he left. As Onion was making his way to the front door, he spotted Steven and gave a quick smile before he walked through them. Assuming that he was next, Steven got up and made his way to the office. Slowly opening the door, he asked with slight nervousness.
"Uh, Dr. Ellis, can I come in?"
"Ah, Steven! Yes you may".
Steven felt relieved with his therapist's response as he walked in and took a seat on the leather couch. He then looked over to his therapist, a man in his late 40s with silver hair and wearing a blue sweater over a white collared shirt, who was sitting in a chair in front of the couch, ready to talk to Steven.
"How are you doing Steven?"
"I'm doing ok. Thank you for asking" Steven replied.
"How does it feel to be back in Beach City?" Ellis asked
"Well, it feels great to reunite with everybody again. Seeing my friends and family really gives me more relief. You know, to be back in familiar territory."
"That's good to hear. I remember during our last face-time session, while you were at Empire City, you mentioned that although you were nervous about interacting with people outside of home, you were adjusting well once you got the hand of interacting with others?"
"Yeah, I mean, I usually say "hi" to people at events mostly. Concerts, festivals, and even open mic nights in coffee shops. Once I introduce myself, some people invite me into conversations and I get into it. Some people don't and I just move on" Steven told his therapist as he reminisced about his travels and some friends he made during his journey.
"So when it comes to social interaction, it sounds to me like you're really improving." Ellis concluded.
"Yeah, I even followed some of my new friends on social media and even got a couple phone numbers to stay in contact with them." Steven told the doctor as he pulled out his phone and looked over the messages he got from the new friends he made on the road.
"Good. You're really networking yourself. Now, last time you mentioned about finding work was a little hard, but you still managed to find a few jobs during your travels?"
"Yeah, it was kinda hard to find work" Steven mentioned looking to the floor. Part of him blamed his dad for neglecting to fill out identity forms for him when he was born, but that didn't mean it was impossible to find work.
"But luckily some people were kind enough to give me a chance. Bussing tables, cashier, heck, I was lucky enough to get a gig performing at lounges. So I really got some work experience." Steven said. Although as he did, he wished that there was still something that would really be something he could actually pursue.
As Dr. Ellis was writing down Steven's comments and progress on a clipboard, he had something to ask Steven that might seem personal.
"Now Steven, how are you doing with your PTSD?"
Steven breathed in and out. He knew that this question was coming since it is a topic they often discuss when he's talking with him.
"Honestly, I am still having a few nightmares now and then AND there are some times when I feel anxious sometimes, especially when I'm working. But thanks to those abdominal breathing exercises you taught me, I've calmed down a lot easier." Steven explained as he thanked his therapist for teaching him how to breathe when stressed.
"Well I'm glad to hear that you're managing your anxiety better, but what about the nightmares you mentioned earlier? Anything relating to Gems?" Ellis asked. He didn't know too much about the Gems, but Steven explained everything to the doctor enough for him to at least get a basic understanding of them and what he went through with them during his early teens.
Thinking about that question, Steven composed himself before responding to the question of concern.
"Yeah, there were a few. Sometimes about Gems attacking me, like Jasper or Bluebird. Then there was a few when I was drifting alone in space or stuck in my bubble underwater. I also had a dream recently where I saw Beach City was destroyed." Steven really explained his nightmares and Dr. Ellis was making sure he took note of them.
"You're dream about Beach City being destroyed sounds different than the other ones? Was there anything in it involving enemies you've fought?" Ellis asked.
Steven went into thought about that. In his nightmare, before the earthquake happened, there was nothing about any familiar enemies, but there were those four grey robed individuals flying in the sky. He's never met anyone like that before though.
"Not that I know of. It was just me and my friends and family before an earthquake happened?"
"Perhaps it's merely a sign of nervousness" Ellis theorized to Steven.
"Makes sense, I was a little nervous about coming back."
"Well, what would you say about keeping a dream journal and writing down everything you remember about any nightmares you have?"
Again, Steven went into thought about Dr. Ellis's different suggestion.
"Well, personally I don't want to keep track of every nightmare I have. I'd rather just ignore it. But, the last time I tried to ignore the obvious and just hide things from others including myself, it would not help me at all." Steven explained showing both his worry and acceptance about what happened to him. Dr. Ellis nodded his head as he expected Steven to think like that. As he breathed out, Steven gave his answer.
"Sure, I'll keep a journal and write down any dreams I remember." Then again, Steven remembered there was another way to "study" his dreams.
Or maybe I'll just record my dreams on the TV them if they make their way there.
After Steven gave his answer, Ellis nodded his head and went to his desk and pulled out a black journal out of his drawer. Once he did, he handed it to Steven.
"Thanks Dr. Ellis."
"Of course Steven. Now, I do have one more question for you before we end our session. Before you came back home, you mentioned that you were coming back to see everyone and support your girlfriend as she finishes high school." Steven nodded his head, showing that what Ellis said is indeed true.
"However, are there any personal goals you yourself are hoping to accomplish now that your back?" Steven widened his eyes slightly in surprise.
His first thoughts when coming back to Beach City was to support Connie and reconnect with everyone face to face. But was there something more that Steven wanted to accomplish? He feels like he was definitely finding himself as a human when he was on the road. So what exactly would he gain for himself now that he was back home, where he understood who he was as a Gem?
"I guess I just want to overcome my past and really move on. I mean, I feel like I have been making progress on that while I was away, but I'm still not 100% over everything. So when I'm not helping Connie study or having fun with everyone, I want to face any grief I have left and really get over it."
After Steven made his declaration, the therapist nodded his head as he understood what Steven's goal was.
"Alright Steven, I think that's a good goal. The only things I recommend you do is to talk about this with your loved ones. A goal like this can't entirely be done alone."
"I know Dr. Ellis, I'll tell them when they have time" Steven said as he got up from the couch and stretched himself out after sitting on it for a while.
"Don't forget to write down any nightmares you have in the dream journal and maybe even practice lucid dreaming."
"Thanks. I won't forget to do either." Steven told him.
Lucid dreaming huh? It's been a while since I actually tried to control what goes on in my dreams. Wait, when was the last time I did that? Helping Kiki with her nightmares? No, when I was dreaming the Camp Pining Hearts reboot for Peridot. No, those turned into nightmares. Meh, I'll get back into the swing of it.
"And lastly, don't forget to practice your abdominal breathing when you're feeling anxious." Ellis gave his last request to Steven.
"Of course. It's been keeping me from glowing Pink." As Steven told Ellis that, he shook his hand as a thank you for helping him through his troubles and made his way to the door.
"For your next appointment, same time next month?" Ellis asked curiously.
"Sounds good to me" Steven said as he looked at his therapist before he left the room and closed the door, walked through the waiting room and out the building heading for his car.
After driving back to the temple and heading inside, Steven sat on his bed and thought about how he should ask the Gems and his dad about helping him with any struggles he might have left. Of course, the minute he thinks about that, he hears the warp activate and sees the Gems show up.
"Yo Steve! How's it hangin?" Amethyst said, glad that Steven was home.
"I'm good, just thinking" he replied.
"How was the therapist? I know you don't have to say anything about what happened to us if you told him anything personal, henceforth therapist confidentiality, but-" Pearl was saying before Garnet put a hand on her shoulder as a way of saying "he gets it".
"Dr. Ellis was ok. I just told him about some nightmares I've had on the road and he gave me a journal to write 'em down"
"Why do you need a journal? Don't your dreams usually show up on screen?" Amethyst asked
"They do, but I don't mind writing down my dreams and thoughts."
"Anything else you want to tell us?" Pearl asked with slight concern. Even though Steven didn't have to tell them, she did want to help too if there was anything bothering him. Garnet and Amethyst thought the same.
As Steven thought about what to say, he actually decided to be straightforward and tell them what he told Dr. Ellis.
"Actually, yeah. I decided that if there was anything still troubling or haunting me from my past, then I'd want to overcome that completely."
As the Gems thought about his declaration, they felt proud of Steven for wanting to overcome anything that still troubles him, even if its themselves. However, depending on how traumatic it was for Steven earlier in his life, was it really a good idea to face it head on?
"Are there any you have in mind?" Garnet asked him.
There were a couple things that popped into Steven's head when Garnet asked her question. Steven thinks back to when he lost control of himself sparring with Jasper and ended up shattering her. Thankfully he was able to revive her thanks to his tears and essence from the Diamonds. Speaking of which, he still never apologized to White for trying to slam her head against a pillar after she let him control her.
"I don't really know how to do it, but I want to get over shattering Jasper." As he said that, the others looked a bit worried. That was one of the events that really sent Steven over the edge. How can he get over something like that? More importantly, should he?
"And I want to apologize to White about for what I did to her." That, seemed more easier to accomplish. Yes, White was an enemy, but thanks to Steven she turned over a new leaf and is not only an ally to the Crystal Gems and Earth, but she's also Steven's family.
"Anything else?" Pearl asked.
What else would Steven need to face? Of course there were enemies that attempted to hurt him (Bluebird Azurite, Hessonite, etc.) but they weren't exactly worth his time. What about Cactus Steven? Should he try to look for the living prickly plant and see how it's doing? Then again, he doesn't even know where it is. WAIT, what about his mother? Rose Quartz, originally known as Pink Diamond. The very one who set the chain of events that would carry on thousands of years later, during his life. Couldn't he just go into Rose's room and just talk to its cloud version of Rose?
NO! Maybe there are some things that are just better left alone. At least for now anyway.
"No. Just Jasper and White" He said as he looked down at the floor avoiding eye contact with the others.
Although they had a hard time believing that, they know that Steven's old enough to the point where he'll come forward with anything else that's bothering him.
"Alright then Steven. If that's what you want, then we will support and be there for you." Garnet told him on behalf of the herself, Pearl and Amethyst.
"100% man" Amethyst said agreeing with Garnet.
"Always" Pearl added.
As they did, Steven looked at them with a warm smile as he walked over to them with his arms out. They walked towards him doing the same thing as the four of them embraced each other in a family hug, ready to help Steven face his demons.
Meanwhile, in the far ends of the universe, on a desolate planet, filled with nothing but canyons and deserts, hidden within that planet was a dark stone room with only torches beside the walls as their source of light. In the middle of that room was a big square table and at each side of the table was a figure. Each of them were wearing white hooded cloaks with their hoods up. Each figure stared at each other as they began their discussion.
"How long has it been since the four of us got together?" Said one of the four with a feminine and cheerful voice.
"It doesn't matter how long it's been. What does matter is that we need to prepare ourselves. Our chance to fulfill our greatest desire is upon us." Another one of them said. This one also sounded feminine, but more serious and fiercer.
"It's about damn time! I've waited at least a thousand years for this to start. I'm ready to let loose!" The biggest of the four of them said. Sounding masculine and eager to begin whatever they were planning.
"Honestly, you don't even try to contain yourself." The last one said, sounding more mature than the others.
"Heh heh yeah. You're over a thousand years old and you're impatient and swearing like a child" the cheery one said, although she showed some mischief in her voice this time.
"I'm getting this from you?! You're older than me you act like a brat!"
"Heh heh, you're lucky you're the same rank as us or I'd kill you" she said with a smile even though the shadows from her hood were covering her face.
"Try it you crazy bi-" he was about to finish his counter before he was interrupted.
"ENOUGH! Remember you two, our mission takes top priority. We can't waste the power we were blessed with on each other." The fierce one said with an annoyed tone as she had to break up a fight between her own comrades.
"Tsk, fine. Still can't believe the master let you and your lackeys go first you old bastard" The big one complained as he stared at the one with the mature tone.
"That attitude and mouth of yours is exactly why you're not going first." The mature one explained.
"That, and well, if you went first, then none of us would be able to play our parts. And I won't be able to play with any of them" the cheery one explained. The big guy just turned his hooded head to the side in bitterness.
"Aside from the latter, these first steps we take are crucial. Remember, our opponent is the Gem Empire. It's important that we make sure we're effective in this first phase. We owe everything to the Masters and we'll do so by making sure the ultimate goal is accomplished" The mature one explained the significance. After saying that he stood up and said a certain phrase to the others.
"For the Glory of the Stars" He said as put his hands over his chest and leaned his head back and closed his eyes as he said those words. After doing so, the other three stood up and did the exact same thing as he did.
"FOR THE GLORY OF THE STARS"
There you have it! Steven's slowly getting back into the swing of things, but he also wants to face his trauma. Unfortunately, this group of people is also about to make their move. Let me know what you think about all of this so far in the REVIEWS whether if it's things you like or don't like. Criticism is constructive!
Get ready for the next chapter, where Steven will be reuniting with the Diamonds.
See you next time!
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Next time on Steven Universe: Beyond, The Apology!