Authors Note: This is set after Long Time Dead. This works as a one shot, but I may start a series of similar conversations.
Disclaimer: Written for fun only, I own nothing.
Jackie had just finished her lunch with Robbie, he had suggested they go out and celebrate finishing the case and the DCI letting them work together really for the first time. She was pleasantly surprised to find working with Robbie enjoyable. She had been so used to working with Michael, she wasn't sure she would adapt so easily to a new person to work with especially given the circumstances. There was something about Robbie, maybe his charm, humour or rugged good looks but there is also a warmth there, something that he was trying to hide. She was on her way home, glad to have an early finish for a change and looking forward to having an afternoon to herself. She couldn't help but think about the case, the spare part surgery, Jay and Elaine's affair, Elaine cheating on Michael, and being tricked into keeping secrets from him, it all left her feeling tense. She pulled up in front of her flat parking in her usual spot, when looked up she noticed Michael outside her door walking up as if to press the buzzer but as if changing his mind then going to walk away, he did this a few times. She watched him for a few minutes before getting out of the car. She walked up behind him "were you planning on actually pressing the buzzer or just pacing out here all day?" she smirked.
He turned surprised to see her outside "I thought you would have been home by now" she passed him on the stairs to get to the front door.
"Robbie took me out for lunch!"
"Ah!" He simply responded, of course he did he thought to himself. He was unnerved at how quickly Robbie had swooped into his role working with Jackie. She opened the front door, turning back to him.
"you alright?"
"Elaine and I broke up!" He shrugged.
"I'm sorry!" Although she wasn't surprised. "come in and I will treat you to that hot chocolate now!" she held the door open as walked inside.
"I should have accepted that offer the first time!" he admitted. She smiled as she unlocked and opened the door to her flat. Turning on the lights and holding the door open for him. She put her bag down on the table and he followed her in, taking his jacket off and hanging it up. He always felt comfortable in her home, she had always made him feel welcome. They headed straight for the kitchen, Jackie stopped to turn to him "you know, I don't think I will be seeing much of Elaine either!"
"I'm sorry" she looked at him confused "for putting you in a difficult position!" he responded to the question she hadn't really asked.
"not your fault!" She looked at him with a serious face. She didn't blame him for the position she had been in, but she was annoyed with Elaine for asking her to lie to him. Initially she was happy when Elaine and Michael hit it off, but as their relationship progressed, she had started to regret introducing them. Hearing Elaine talk about him like she would any other boyfriend, bothered her more than she cared to admit. She put the kettle on and grabbed two mugs from the cupboard. He sat down at her table in the kitchen. He smiled at how often he found himself sitting at her table, talking about a case. She turned to him "I am sorry, that I didn't tell you about Jay and Elaine. I really didn't know before hand and when she told me about it. Well, I just... didn't feel right about it." She reached up to her cupboard to get her favourite chocolate mix "I did advise her to tell you…and I told her that you are a good listener!"
"I can understand you were torn between Elaine, work and… me!" a smirk came across his face "you told her I am a good listener"
"yeah well, you always listen to me!" she suddenly feeling her cheeks flush and she turned to finish making the drinks. He smiled noticing her slight embarrassment.
"you seem to be getting on well with the new DI" He smirked.
"Yeah, we worked well together" she could see the look on his face "….. he's not as bad as his reputation suggests!" she smiled placing his drink in front of him. She motioned for him to move to the living room and she sunk down on her couch kicking her heals off.
"I'll take your word for it!" He sat down on the couch opposite her, a sceptical look on his face. He hadn't really taken to Robbie and he was little jealous of how well they obviously seemed to be getting on.
"Strange case though!" she stated changing the subject. She could sense Michaels dislike for Robbie and had no desire to be in the middle.
"Very creepy!" He sipped his hot chocolate and glanced at her over it. "I take it, Elaine was the one that suggested the Crawford to you?" he saw her face drop.
"yeah, sorry, honestly I had no idea there was an ulterior motive or a history there" she felt so guilty for suggesting it to Michael.
"not your fault!" he countered with a serious look on his face, followed by a smirk. "how were you to know?"
"still!" he shook his head, he knew that she would always feel guilty regardless of whether it was her fault or not.
"you do make the best hot chocolate though, almost worth the heartache to have one of these!" she laughed.
"glad you approve, I have had a lot of practice!" she teased.
"now now!" he mocked offence "it does seem to be becoming a ritual, that every time I break up with someone I come here! Thank you!" she shrugged. She thought of the times where he had sat on her couch telling her about the women in his life, always wanting to help him, only occasionally being jealous.
"Do you think in ten years we will still be sat here drinking hot chocolate together?"
"Where's that come from?" He smirked and Jackie shrugged in return "well, Jackie I can think of worse ways to spend a life!" she smiled.
"Listen…can I ask you something?" he said with a serious look on his face.
"Of course!" she answered intrigued.
"Do women, really discuss everything?" Michael smirked as Jackie immediately started shifting in her seat, obviously knowing exactly what he was referring to. She looked at him trying to think of the best response.
"em….all good things I promise!" she smiled holding her hands up in surrender. A few moments passed when he noticed that wicked look cross her face her eyebrow cocked "I'd even say some rave reviews!" she bit her lip and he laughed.
"good to know!" She laughed although, she was not really sure if she should have said that or what made her be so bold. He was looking at her with that breath taking smile and she suddenly felt the need to move away from discussing Michael's sexual prowess.
"What about me, Elaine didn't tell you anything I hadn't already told you about?" she smiled eager to hear if she had been the topic of conversation. Although she didn't know why that would make a difference to her.
"maybe?" he teased.
"care to share?"
"ok….the real reason you and Colin Crawford spilt up!" she was trying to read his face.
"which waaas…?" she said not sure if she was being tricked into revealing something.
"That he proposed!" he said seriously.
"Obviously, I keep confidences better than Elaine" she smiled sipping her hot chocolate.
"in fairness I did ask her!" he admitted.
"why? I didn't think that you liked him that much!" She looked at him confused.
"I didn't!" she laughed at his admission. "but you seemed to be good together! I remember you being really down when he left and you wouldn't talk about it. Well not to me anyway and I guess I was curious" he shrugged.
"I just wasn't ready to marry and I wasn't sure if I ever would be! Or if it's even what I wanted. Didn't mean I didn't love him, or that I was any less gutted when he decided that if marriage wasn't imminent then he couldn't stick around to see if it eventually would be" she shrugged.
"why didn't you tell me about that?" he was surprised that she hadn't told him, they were so close at that time.
"well you have always had some strong views on marriage, I didn't want to .." she paused.
"to be lectured!" he interjected.
"I didn't say that!" she was quick to respond.
"you thought it!" he could tell that exactly what she thought he would do. He regretted that sometimes his own beliefs prevented her from trusting him to just listen to her. When they had met they had both been religious but she lost her faith, he surmised it was when her mother died. He remembered how devastated she was, how angry with god for the pain her mother had been in.
"maybe!" she smiled
"Do you still feel that way about it, marriage?"
"honestly Michael I really don't know! I guess you think you will meet the right person and then it will all feel right and you will know what to do. maybe I just haven't met the right person"
"I know what you mean, the only person I thought about marrying was Gemma and we know how that turned out!" she bit her lip, the way Gemma treated him always stirred an anger in her, that she didn't want to deal with. She took a deep breath unsure of herself.
"you know…sometimes I wonder.." he nodded for her to continue "if Colin was my only chance and I was just too naive to notice!" the sad look in her eyes immediately made him feel guilty for bringing it up.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to rake up anything!"
"that's ok" she stopped for a second a smile crossing her face "besides it's only fair, given Elaine told me what really happened between you and Tessa Innes from the PF's office!" He laughed picking up his drink, he went to sit next to her on the couch.
"perhaps, from now on we should just not keep secrets from each other, for whatever reasons" he held his mug up as if to toast.
"I think I can agree to that!" they clinked their mugs and leaned back on the couch next to each other. Just quietly enjoying each other's company.
"so rave reviews then!" he smiled drinking his hot chocolate, almost sad it was nearly finished.
"Well Elaine is prone to exaggeration!" he couldn't help but smile at her humour and quick wit.
"cheeky!" he smirked. He sat up and looked at her "and I don't think Colin was your only chance!"
"I hope not!" he reached over to her hand and giving it a squeeze. She smiled at the warmth of his hand on her she turned to him "it is Elaine's loss, you know!" she said adamantly.
"ditto, I would be lost without your friendship!" she nodded, glad to have him in her life. He smirked "That I would always give rave reviews" he loved seeing her smile grow as she beamed at his statement.
"me too!" she moved her hand to hold his, clasping her fingers with his.
"do you want me to get out of your hair, so enjoy your afternoon off?" she stopped to think for a second looking at her hand in his, feeling a peace in her.
"no, can't think of a better way to spend my afternoon off than being with my friend and cheering him up after a breakup!"
"I don't really need cheering up if I'm honest." She looked at him confused "I think I jumped in too quick as usual, there was so much she was keeping from me, and I'm pretty sure there was overlap if you know what I mean!" he could tell from her face "of course you knew that already!"
"sorry!"
"we just agreed to not keep secrets!"
"well that was from now on!" she smiled "I just didn't want to hurt you Michael, I couldn't bear that!" she hadn't really meant the last part to come out, and she blushed. He shook his head.
"well as I said, I'm not that upset about Elaine. I think it is better this way!" he shrugged. Looking at his hand in hers. "Jackie, I want someone that I trust, someone that is always here for me, that even if they are keeping secrets, they are doing so for my benefit!" He smiled.
"so… film, or do you want to go out?" he wondered if she understood what he was saying and was choosing to ignore it or if she was that oblivious to his feelings for her. He decided today was not the day to find out.
"let's go for a walk!" he smiled.