AN: I rewrote this chapter a few times, but I think I'm finally happy with it!

Enjoy!

The train ride into the city did not feel like it was just over an hour. It went by far too quickly.

Lily kept telling herself that she wasn't anxious, that she was fine, that she was going to do well, that she had already worked for this company and there was not going to be any surprises. She knew almost every book that they had published in the last four years, and all the best sellers for the previous decade, she knew the important names, she knew events that they held, she was going to do fine.

Also, people tended to like her, so she had even less reason to worry.

She was still worrying of course, but she kept looking at the texts that her mum had sent her that said all of that.

She had ten minutes left of her train ride, and then she would walk the rest of the way to the office. She didn't even have to worry about getting lost, because this was the same office where she'd interned.

She was clutching the strap of her purse and trying to steady her breathing when her phone buzzed.

She almost didn't look at it. It was probably her mum, or Mary, or James wishing her luck and she didn't know if she wanted to see anymore texts wishing her luck just then.

But she couldn't really stop her hands from pulling out her phone and unlocking it.

Anthony: Hey Lily! I'm in town for a few days and I was hoping that we could meet up for dinner and talk. Hope you're doing well. xx

Lily sucked in a breath and bit down on her tongue.

She'd clicked the message without looking at who it was from. She'd clicked it, and now Anthony would see that she'd seen the text. She had to formulate a response now, or deal with him knowing that she left him on read.

She started chewing on her lip as she stared at the message. She scrolled up and looked at the messages right before it.

Anthony: Lily I msis you

Anthony: Lily I really want to talk to you btu I cannt if you dnot text me bac

Anthony: Pleass

Anthony: I still lobe you

Anthony: Love

Anthony: My sincerest apologies for texting you in the middle of the night. I was drunk, obviously. Please ignore all of that.

Lily: Don't worry about it. Everyone has gotten drunk and texted their ex as some point

Anthony: You haven't

Anthony: It would be nice to talk to you again though. Are you still in town?

Lily: I'm not, sorry

Anthony: No worries

She scrolled back to the bottom and let out the breath that she'd been holding. "Are you kidding me," She muttered. She wanted to screenshot it and send it to Mary, but she didn't have time for the whole song and dance that would ensue.

She squeezed her eyes shut and pretended that he was standing in front of her, that she didn't have time to formulate a response and just had to say the first thing that came to mind.

She had 'no thank you' typed out before she deleted it and huffed.

Lily: Hope you're having a good time in the city! I'm very busy the rest of the week and don't think I can make that work

The animatronic voice telling her that they were pulling into the station came on and she quickly turned off her screen and shoved her phone in her purse. She wouldn't check it again until after the interview.

She tried to push any thoughts of Anthony out of her mind, starting at the top of her list of potential questions to ask during the interview that would prove that she was interested.

But for the entire walk to the building, she was looking over her shoulder, worried that she might run into him, that he would see her walking around London and guilt her into having dinner with him after her interview.

She finally made it to the building and let out a sigh of exasperated relief. She knew that she wasn't just going to run into him, he probably wasn't staying in downtown London anyway, when he said that he was 'in town' he probably meant he was somewhere on the outskirts of town. She knew he had family between here and Oxford.

She tucked her hair back behind her ears and stood up straighter before walking into the building.

As soon as the familiar smell overtook her senses, she was able to push Anthony from her mind and she smiled, remembering all the fun she'd had working here.

Everything still looked the same, and she thought she might even recognize some of the people she walked by as she headed up to the second floor. She had never been to Emma Vanity's office when she was interning, though the interns all dealt with different management staff than the employees.

It was only two fifteen when she took a seat across from the office after checking in with a secretary. Almost as soon as she sat down, Emma walked out of her office and smiled at her brightly.

"Lily Evans?"

"That's me," She stood back up, still clutching her purse strap.

"Well come on in! My last meeting didn't go as long as I had anticipated and you're early, no need to waste time!"

Lily was glad that she didn't have to sit for another fifteen minutes and let her mind overthink everything some more.

"It's so nice to meet you!" Emma held out her hand once they were in her office. "I've heard good things about you from the people who worked with you last summer and I've been looking forward to this meeting! Please, take a seat," She motioned to an armchair against the wall as she walked over to her desk and grabbed a tablet off the desk.

Lily sat down, letting her purse fall to the floor. "Thank you. It's nice to be back in this building. I had a lot of fun here."

"What did you work on while you were here?"

"We were getting ready for the launch of Peverell's War."

"Yes! It's getting made into a movie now. Hopefully they do it justice,"

"I did see that!" Lily grinned, once again reminding herself that she didn't have to be nervous. She'd learned the last time she was here that most of the people in this industry were here because they loved books as much as she did. She fit in. She knew what she was talking about. "I'm sure it won't be as good as the books, but it will be fun to see how they reimagine it."

"Have you worked for any other publishing companies? Anything else book or publishing related?"

Lily shook her head, "I worked in a library during college and I got to set up events where local authors would come by and read a chapter or two from their books, which was very interesting. There was this one man who wrote a book about seven hundred different uses for an elderberry. It wasn't popular at the time, but I saw that it was on Amazon's best seller list now."

Emma snorted, "It's one of those superfoods that everyone goes nuts for. Coordinating events with authors though, that's a good skill to have. Is the elderberry guy the biggest name you worked with?" She smiled, but she was typing something on her tablet.

"No, we had Amelia Bones come in about two months before her book took off."

"Amelia Bones?" Emma raised her brow. "That was lucky."

The interview went on, and the longer they talked, the more Lily relaxed.

"So, long term plan?" Emma asked after twenty minutes or so. "Where do you see yourself in ten years?"

"Ten years is the long-term plan?" Lily raised her brow and Emma laughed.

"Fifteen, twenty then. Where are you headed?"

"Recently, I've been trying to plan things out a little less, but I still have plans of course, I don't know how not to plan. I want to work with books. I want to find books that people will love and help share them with the world." Lily bit the tip of her tongue. "I also want to get published. I've been writing as long as I've been reading, and I hope that it happens in the next ten years."

Emma nodded. "I like you Lily."

"I'm glad to hear that," Lily pushed her hands into her lap.

Emma tilted her head. "I wish you had more experience working in a publishing house though."

Lily swallowed unexpectedly and almost choked. She was applying for an entry level position.

Emma put the tablet down and looked at Lily directly. "I'm going to be honest with you. If you had even one year of experience, I would offer you the job right now. But I think I'm going to go with someone else for this position."

So much for not wanting to waste anyone's time. Lily had to work hard to keep her face neutral.

"I do have another opportunity that I wanted to offer you though," Emma smiled at her, folding her hands on her lap. "We're expanding the company into the US, and I think you would be an amazing asset over in New York."

"New York?" She felt her eyes get wide. Emma nodded and then launched into a speech that seemed practiced about this other job in New York. She talked about how if Lily took it, she would be working in a different department, the pay was hourly and there would be no benefits for at least six months, but that there were always openings in the editing department and with the added experience, she would be a shoe-in.

Lily smiled and nodded.

"I know that's not the opportunity that you came in here for, so I'll give you a few days to think it over. I really want you to work for us, Lily." Emma stood up and Lily stood up as well, feeling defeated but doing her best not to look it.

"It was really nice to meet you." Emma held out her hand and Lily took it.

"Thank you, Emma." Lily picked up her purse and walked out of the room.

She walked in a daze back to the train station.

After the train pulled away, the frustrated tears sprung to her eyes and she clenched her jaw and glared out the window the entire way home.

Lily shoved a handful of colorful marshmallows into her mouth and stared up at the sky, trying very hard to stop thinking about the conversation she'd made up in her head, the conversation she thought she should have had with Emma before she left.

She'd started it on the train, and had repeated it, tweeking it slightly, for the last three hours.

She could not stop ruminating over this imaginary conversation.

She shoved another handful of marshmallows into her mouth and closed her eyes.

Logically, rationally, she understood that this was her first interview post-graduation. She would presumably have a lot of interviews over the next couple of weeks, and they weren't all going to go how she wanted them to.

Hopefully they wouldn't end with her being offered a shitty job in a different country, either, but that could happen.

Her phone had buzzed a few times, but Lily was afraid to look at it while she was this close to spiraling. Anthony had probably texted her back. She knew that Mary and her mum had probably texted her. She wasn't even sure if her mum knew she was home. Rose had still been at work when Lily got back to the house, and then she'd come up to the roof, where she'd been ever since.

She hadn't told anyone that she hadn't gotten the job and she didn't want to. She just wanted to sit up here and replay this imaginary conversation that she would never actually have while shoving marshmallows into her face.

"Oi!"

She pressed her lips together, but she couldn't act as though she didn't hear him. She turned her head and looked at James, who was shirtless for some reason. His hands were gripping the edge of the windowsill and his head was tilted at her. She didn't say anything.

"Give me five minutes!" He called and then he disappeared, and his window shut. She turned her face back toward the sky.

She felt like she was overreacting. She also felt like she might have had an anxiety attack on the train.

Today had just been a very shitty day. She didn't even ogle James properly just now and that felt like a pretty big missed opportunity.

She shoved another handful of marshmallows in her mouth.

After a few minutes of watching a cloud travel across the sky, she heard footsteps on the roof down by her feet and looked down to see James walking carefully toward her from above her porch.

"The swing?"

"Yeah," He nodded. At least now she knew how he'd gotten up here the other day. She had been afraid that he had jumped from one house to the other, putting himself in danger of breaking something right before he signed his contract. "Can I have some marshmallows?"

She held out the bag to him. "Take them all, they're giving me a stomachache."

He took the bag as he sat down next to her. "Rough day?"

"I didn't get the job." He nodded and she pushed herself up so she was sitting. "Not only did I not get the job, but it sounded like they had already hired someone for the position before I came in. And then," She tucked her hair back behind her ears. "She offered me a completely different job, in New York!" She pulled her knees up and rested her head against them.

"New York? Wow."

"No, not wow." Lily shook her head. "Wow would mean that the job they offered me was a good job and worthy of consideration."

"Oh." He put a hand on her back.

"And who would want to move to America? Now? Are you kidding me?" She shook her head. James slid his arm around her shoulders and pulled her against his side. She huffed and rested her head against his shoulder. "Why did she have me go all the way there if she knew that she wasn't going to hire me? Why did she sit there and talk to me for almost forty minutes if she knew that she wasn't going to hire me? And then I feel ungrateful for being upset because she did offer me a job, I just don't want it."

"If they offered you a shitty job, you don't have to be grateful for it." James said. "They wasted your time, eat marshmallows." He offered her the bag again and she took a few more.

"That's not even all of it," Lily sat up again and pushed her hair back again. "Right before I got off the train, my ex texted me. I was spiraling before I didn't get the job." She looked over at him and then down at her bare feet. They hadn't talked about exes at all yet. Not exes that the other person didn't know anyway, and Camilla hardly seemed like she counted.

"So you've been having a great day all around then."

"Oh yeah," Lily laughed humorlessly. "I've been afraid to look at my phone since I responded."

"What did he text you?"

"He asked me to dinner! Told me he was in town for the week." She shook her head. "We broke up about six months ago and I was starting to think that he wasn't going to do this anymore." She looked at James as he was tousling his hair. "I said no."

He turned and looked at her. "Because you didn't want to see him?"

She frowned at him. "Of course I don't want to see him. But also, I'm going on a date with you tomorrow, so I'm not really accepting other offers at the moment."

He cracked a small smile and then shook his head. "That's good to hear. But you seem like you want to talk about him. We can do that."

She huffed and leaned against his shoulder again. "His name is Anthony. We dated for about a year and a half and I ended things when he started getting a little," She waved her hands in front of her, trying to think of the right word for it. "Intense? Controlling? Weird? He told me that I spent too much time with Mary."

James laughed, and then coughed, like he was trying to cover it up. "Sorry, but um, did he come to that conclusion after dating you for over a year?"

Lily let out a laugh as well. "I don't know, but that's when he felt like sharing it. I mean, I didn't break up with him for saying that, it just, it didn't help anything. Mary wanted me to dump him when he said that. I mean, she was there."

"He said that in front of her?" James laughed again and Lily smiled at him. "Why would he do that?"

Lily shrugged, "I don't know. There were a lot of little things that he did that I just couldn't figure out. So I ended things, and I honestly didn't think he was going to take it hard. It seemed like things had played out for us, he hadn't seemed like he was happy in the relationship either, but after I ended things he wouldn't stop trying to get me to change my mind. He'd show up outside of my classes, my flat, text me at all hours of the night. And at first, I talked to him, but we just kept talking in circles and eventually I had to tell him to stop. He texted me while he was drunk about a month ago, but I haven't heard from him since then.

"So when I heard from him again, all that stress resurfaced and I don't want to deal with it anymore." She laid back against the roof and James laid down next to him.

"Block him." He said casually, as though that was something that Lily could just do.

She took a deep breath and pulled her phone out of her pocket. She twirled it around in her hand before she swiped her finger over the sensor and then held it out to James. "Can you just tell me if he texted?"

He took her phone. "Yeah, he texted."

"What did he say?"

He looked over at her. "You want me to read his text?"

"I don't want to read it!" She looked at him.

He shook his head and then clicked on her phone. Lily covered her eyes. "It says, 'I hope things change, I'd really like to see you again.'"

"Gah!"

"Lily, you can just say 'no.'"

"I did!"

"No, you told him you were busy."

She uncovered her eyes. "I was being nice."

"You were being unclear." He held the phone out to her. "If he still has feelings for you, then you being vague isn't nice, it's letting him think he's still got a chance."

Lily took her phone back and blinked at him. "I suppose you might have a point."

"Do you feel like you've been clear about how you feel these last six months?" He asked, laying back on the roof and tucking his arm under his head.

"Yes."

"And he still thinks it's okay to ask you to dinner?"

"Right." Lily bit the tip of her tongue. Anthony was a bit much, and she was pretty sure that he knew that he shouldn't have asked to see her again, but she could be more clear than saying she was busy. She could say 'no.' She was allowed to do that. "Right, okay." She took a deep breath.

Lily: Things aren't going to change. I'm sorry, Anthony, I thought I had made my feelings clear before. I don't want to see you again.

Then she clicked on Mary's name, since she did have a lot of texts from her. She was much easier to respond to. She clicked back on Anthony's name and saw that he'd seen her message and hadn't responded.

She let out a breath and ran her hand over her face. "Thank you," She said, reaching out and grabbing his hand.

"For telling you to cut him from your life?"

"For reminding me I'm allowed to say no. He always makes me feel like I can't and Mary isn't here to text him for me."

He squeezed her hand. And then turned to look at her, his grin back in place. "Not accepting other offers at the moment?"

Lily clicked her tongue. "Shut up, James."

"Nah," He reached over and tucked her hair back. "Why are you not accepting other offers?"

She couldn't help but smile, "I like the offer I've got right now. It climbs up on roofs for me."

James laughed, "It'll also buy you a chocolate shake if you want."

"Will it make fun of me for dipping my chips in the chocolate shake?"

He shook his head, leaned toward her, and kissed her forehead. "Course not."

"Will the offer tell me where it's taking me tomorrow?"

"Lily, it wouldn't be a surprise if I told you."

"Yes, but why does it have to be a surprise?"

"Because that's half the fun!"

"Half the fun?" Lily pushed herself up and gave him a look. "I didn't realize my bar should be so low."

"Hey now," He jumped to his feet and held out his hand for her. "I was being hyperbolic, alright? It's going to be a fantastic night."

Lily took his hand and pulled herself up. He brushed her hair back again and then bent down to pick up the marshmallows.

"Feeling a little better now?"

Lily nodded. "I really wanted to work for The Hallows, so I'm bummed. I think Emma bummed me out more than the fact that I didn't get the job." She took a deep breath. "But that was the first call I'd gotten after sending my resume out to a dozen places. There will be other offers. I can always apply for The Hallows again in a couple of years if I want."

"And the boy?"

"He left me on read, and hopefully it stays that way." Lily shrugged.

Sirius, Benjy and Remus joined them at Hoppers and Sirius made Benjy pretend to be an employee at The Hallows so that he could practice what he was going to say to them. Lily helped tweek Benjy's performance until it was a caricature of Emma and she was crying from laughing so hard.

James had his arm over the seat behind her and he kept playing with her hair and she kept leaning into him, until Sirius kicked her under the table and she didn't know if he was trying to kick her or James, but she'd kicked him back and he'd thrown a chip at her. She caught the second one he threw, in her mouth and punched her fist in the air. Then James had to throw chips at Sirius so he could try and catch one.

Lily started throwing chips at Remus, and soon it was a competition, which Lily and Remus were winning. They caught ten before James and Sirius caught five.

"It really feels like summer hols." Remus laughed, slouching back against his seat. "With the added benefit of Lily being here in person."

"In person," James snorted. "Thanks for that, mate."

Lily laughed and poked James in the side. "You used to fancy me."

"I know, it's so embarrassing." James pushed his glasses up his nose.

"He really should be embarrassed," Remus muttered before picking up his milkshake.

"Remus is right, he should be embarrassed, and also this does feel like summer hols." Sirius and Benjy were trying to play Jenga with their chips now, so he was crouched over the table in concentration. "So when are we going to head down to the river and throw shit at rocks?"

"Wow, I'm so bummed that I didn't know you lot in secondary." Benjy raised his brow and Lily laughed.

"We were a lot of fun," Sirius glared over at Lily.

"Seems like you all just threw things a lot." Lily shrugged.

"I'm not apologizing for throwing rocks at your window."

"You already did," Lily and Benjy said at the same time.

"I did not!" Sirius accidentally knocked over the chips tower and then swore a bit too loudly. The family seated a few tables over turned toward them and Benjy apologized.

James let his arm drop from the booth to her shoulders.

"And you laugh like you didn't throw shit in the river," Sirius looked at Lily.

"I threw Mary in the river once, does that count?"

"No," Benjy shook his head. "That's better."

"You threw her in the river?" Remus made a face. "It smells like a sewer."

"Oh, I know. It's extremely polluted, but we were kids and we didn't care."

"I didn't even throw Regulus in the river," Sirius shook his head. "I'll have to tell him that he should thank me for that."

Lily shook her head. "It wasn't that terrible! I mean, I didn't shove her off the bridge or anything, so she didn't get fully submerged or anything. I did ruin her blue converse though and I don't know that she's ever forgiven me for that."

And then Remus launched into a story about how James and Sirius had ruined multiple pairs of his shoes when they were kids.

Lily looked around the table and leaned against James' side.

Today had been shit.

But it wasn't a complete wash.