New Author note: Updated for editing and small content changes.
Original Author Note:
This one is a little shorter. I was going to post everything as one huge chapter but I'm still trying to get the next part right.
I'm still trying to decide if/how to incorporate current events in the show, but none of that will be dealt with here.
xxxxx
After driving for a few hours, Marshall pulled off of I-25 at an exit on the north end of Las Cruces. Part of him wanted to drive around all day, but he was frustrated by having nowhere to go. He decided it was best to just check into a hotel, lay down, and try to rest his mind. After getting a room, he tossed his go-bag on the floor, pulled the curtains shut to make the room as dark as possible and threw himself face first into the bed. He pounded his fist into the mattress a few times, then realized his anger had diminished some. Rolling himself into a seated position, he finally acknowledged the longing for Mary that he had been pushing away since he began dating Abigail. He didn't believe that he had treated Abigail as a Mary-substitute; what he had with Abigail was real. While he could never stop caring for Mary, he thought he had successfully overcome his romantic feelings for her. He understood, in this moment, that burying something didn't always make it go away. Something genuine with Abigail had blossomed on top of it, but like a time capsule, he now realized it was only a matter of time until it was brought back to the surface. It was as if his past self was suddenly thrusting an important message into the hands of his present self.
In all honesty, he missed Mary too. When she rattled off all of the ways she missed him, he was so overwhelmed that he had to run, or risk making a decision purely based on his long-held emotions, without any rational thought about the present at all. He wondered what it said about his relationship with Abigail if his basic instinct sent him in the direction of Mary instead. As he stormed away from Mary earlier, that thought had enraged him. However, as he let the argument settle over the last few hours, the affection for Mary was creeping back in.
He truly thought this day would never come. After she had blown him off for Faber, he had committed himself to moving on with his life, if he ever wanted to have one that wasn't centered around someone who didn't love him in return. No one wants to live that way. He had found someone else and was happy. The problem was that all of this moving on was on the assumption and condition that Mary did not and would never love him back. He hadn't thought about how to handle the situation if Mary did love him because he never thought she would love him the way he loved her, nor would she be open enough to actually tell him. He had decided to accept her continued inaction as evidence that they didn't belong together.
She had proven him wrong. What did that mean? The newly acquired knowledge of Mary's true feelings sent his psyche into a tailspin.
He knew what a relationship with Abigail looked like, and he thought it looked pretty great. It wasn't perfect, there were a few things lacking, and he admitted, though only to himself, that at times the relationship felt a little forced. But ultimately, he thought they would have a good life together. Marshall wanted a life partner, and Abigail could be that.
He didn't know what a relationship with Mary would look like. Would she be open enough? Would she be emotionally available? Would she still love him years down the line? Could she be the partner that he needed outside of work? He knew she had the potential to be everything he wanted, but he was concerned about the follow-through. A relationship with Abigail was just more stable than a relationship with Mary.
He couldn't help himself. He wanted to talk things over with Mary and give her a chance to talk about the unresolved topics of their past and about the potential of a future. He had spent so many years loving her that he just had to give her a chance. There were many questions he wanted answered, regardless of the outcome. The answers were necessary in order for him to sort through this emotional battleground and to be able to make a decision. Was it terrible of him to let that discussion be the determinant of his future with Abigail? If he was satisfied by Mary's answers, would he pursue a relationship with her? And if not, would he carry on with Abigail as if nothing had ever led him astray?
He stood up from the bed and reached for his go-bag, deciding he needed to go for a run. It was only a little past six and he figured there was plenty of daylight left to thoroughly exhaust himself.
xxxxx
Mary arrived home with Norah a little before six. She absent-mindedly fed her, then assembled a small dinner for herself. She'd held it together at the office fairly well, but now she felt the pressure building within her chest and tears threatening to escape her eyes. She didn't want to be an emotional mess in front of her daughter. Picking up her phone, she wondered if Mark wouldn't mind taking Norah for the night.
Mark arrived a little after eight.
"I was on a date you know," he chided as soon as she opened the door.
"I'm sorry," she said as he walked through the door.
"That's… okay," he replied, surprised by her apology. "It was only a second date. Just dinner. I'm trying to take it slow and be a gentleman. I think I actually like her."
"That's great," her response soft, but devoid of any emotion. The exchange reminded her of Marshall's reveal of his engagement plan earlier that day. She narrowed her eyes to contain her emotions.
"What's goin' on with you? You never call me last minute to take care of Norah. Not at night anyway," he added with a scoff. "You don't seem right."
"It's been a long day," she tried to placate him with minimal information.
"You usually enjoy unwinding with Norah."
She sighed and stalled with a response. She didn't have much to say. In her silence he noticed how despondent she actually seemed. Mary was a lot of things, but despondent typically was not one of them.
"What happened?" he pried, wondering what, at work, her sanctuary, could drive her to this emotion.
"Mark..." she warned.
"Look, I know I don't have the right to know, but I kind of feel like I should have the right to know. This clearly affects me too," he said as he picked up Norah.
Mary grumbled in displeasure as she decided to tell him. "Marshall..." she tilted her chin up as she paused, steeling herself in order to convey the information. "...is asking Abigail to marry him tonight. Possibly right at this very moment," she added with snark.
"Oh wow! That's great!" he replied with enthusiasm, then immediately realized he had the absolute wrong reaction as he was leveled by Mary's death glare. "I mean...oh...that's...what am I supposed to mean?"
"Mark!" Mary complained as she thrust Norah's overnight bag into his open arm.
"What?!" he whined in response, semi-mocking her. "So, I guess it's true then," he added with a smile.
"What's true?" she glared.
"You do kinda like him," he answered with a tilt of his chin and a knowing look.
"I hate you."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"Not really," she said with thinly veiled aggravation.
"Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me," he said tenderly as he touched her shoulder.
She walked him and Norah to the door, giving her daughter a kiss on the cheek before they left.
"Call me tomorrow when you are ready to pick her up."
"Okay," she replied as she closed the door. She leaned up against it after it was shut and as painful as the solitude was, she was grateful to have the next twelve hours to herself so she could fall apart, then slowly piece herself back together.
xxxxx
After his run, Marshall returned to the hotel, took a long hot shower, then promptly fell asleep. He woke up around eleven, confused as to his whereabouts. The events of the day rushed back to him like a tidal wave, in that painful way of when you've fallen asleep, and managed to temporarily forget your tragedy, only to be assaulted with it all over again upon waking. He roughly pushed himself out of bed, knowing the memory will prevent him from acquiring any more sleep for at least a few hours. He cursed having nothing to do to occupy his time as running had early. Suddenly, he decided he needed to talk to Mary immediately. He didn't want to wait until a few days had passed. He picked up his keys and wallet but left his belongings. He put a 'do not disturb' sign out on his door and stopped at the front desk to pay for another night. He was going to drive back to Albuquerque to talk to her, but wanted to force himself to return here to further process the new information he would gain before making a move that he could not undo.