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Raised the rating to M because, let's face it, life is rated M.

Paradigm Shift
Chapter 5: Charity

He went through phases when he thought he wanted a relationship. This would last approximately three weeks, when he'd start to pick out every single flaw in the girl until he convinced himself that he needed to end it. She was too clingy, too unavailable, too crazy, too boring, too different, too plain, too opinionated, too timid. No matter what, he would always find something.

Three weeks and one day later, however, Tai had yet to find a reason to end things with Sora.

They looked like any other couple walking down the bustling, bright streets of Shibuya on a Sunday night. The summer had been long that year, going well into September, but autumn had finally hit Japan, and the crisp, cool air was a nice change, even for him, who much rather preferred being warm.

His hands were tucked into his hooded jumper, and she had her left arm linked over his right. They were talking about the dinner they had just had, she raving about the quality of food while he complained that he had eaten too much. He pretended to be concerned about his bulging stomach, using it as an excuse to get her to touch it. In reality, he rarely gained weight, and two decades of football had given him the physique he wanted. He just wanted to impress her, though she disappointingly said nothing about it, only scolding him for eating more than he needed.

As usual, they were headed to her flat. He had seen it quite a few times now, though she had yet to set foot in his. He told her it was because Matt didn't like it when he brought guests over, but the reality was that he had still not told Matt about their relationship.

He told himself it was because they weren't technically set in stone or anything like that. He didn't call Sora his girlfriend, and Sora never called him her boyfriend either. He liked to believe they were casual, though it was probably a stretch to say that anymore.

For a while, he believed they weren't anything. She gave him a short kiss after the second date, a long one after the third. He used to go into every date saying it was the last and that they were nothing, but one day she asked him if he was seeing any other girls, and it made him realise he had not. She said that she wasn't seeing anyone else either, and his first reaction had been relief. They hadn't really talked about it after admitting that to each other, both knowing that the question had been each other's way of telling the other they weren't allowed to do so anymore.

He was surprisingly okay with it. Even though Sora wasn't his girlfriend and this wasn't anything serious, he didn't want her to be with anyone else. Oddly, he hadn't had the urge to be with a different girl either.

"You were checking out the waitress tonight," she said, changing the subject as they walked into her flat. She turned on the lights, giving him a front row view of her frown. He instantly laughed, leaning down to kiss her but forfeiting when she pointed to the door, telling him to lock it. He always forgot, since his own front door at home locked automatically.

"I wasn't checking her out," he explained, trying to defend himself. "I was just looking because her proportions were off. She had the smallest waist and legs but her a—butt was huge. It was weird. Didn't you notice?"

She rolled her eyes at him. "Sorry, Tai. I guess I forgot to check out the waitress' bum during our date."

He reached out to put an arm around her, using it to pull her towards him. "Come on, Sor. It wasn't like that. You're taking it out of context."

"What context?" she challenged, glaring though she didn't squirm out of his grasp. "The context is that she walked by, and you stared!"

"I like yours better," he joked to change the subject, earning him a slap on his shoulder as she pulled away.

"Yeah right. The next time we go out to dinner, I'm requesting the hottest male waiter they have, and I'm going to stare at him all night."

He knew she was not actually upset, but he apologised anyway. "Fine, I'm sorry that I was looking at the waitress. Next time, I'll only look at you."

"Hmph," she huffed lightheartedly. He leaned down to try and kiss her, but she wouldn't let him, turning her heel to go into the kitchen instead.

He laughed at her feigned anger before settling himself into one of her couches to wait for her.

Okay, so he had checked the waitress out a little bit, but if any guy in that restaurant said he hadn't, he was lying.

He waited until Sora came back, holding two beers in her hands. She handed one to him before sitting down beside him. Her back to the arm of the couch, she crossed her legs over his. He drummed a short number on her knees before she got annoyed and pretended to knee his chin. He laughed, taken aback only slightly, and took a swig of his beer, using her knee as his coaster instead. She was more allowing of that.

He thought the reason he liked Sora so much was because their friendship had progressed as well as their relationship. She was laidback and never tried hard, making it comfortable to be around her. It was almost like she was a really great friend, albeit one that he was attracted to.

On top of that, he actually enjoyed talking to her and being in her company. He could spend hours with her without ever wanting to make an excuse to leave. He admittedly had a short attention span, so he often got bored being with the same people for too long. The only person this didn't apply to was his little sister. Everyone else he would grow tired of by the second or third hour.

"I wish I had met you in the spring," he started.

Sora looked at him with a sigh. "I feel like this is going to be romantic, but I already know it isn't."

He patted her legs with his hand. "You always wear trousers."

She kicked one leg up to show her disapproval. "It's cold. You wear a skirt, and I will too."

"Shorts for shorts?" he compromised hopefully.

"It's cold," she repeated, shooting him down.

He rolled his eyes. "And you wonder why I was checking out the waitress."

She reached up to put an arm around his neck, pretending to wrestle him. He laughed, letting her do so until it started to actually hurt, in which he peeled her off him, laying her down on the couch and shifting his own weight on top of her. He kissed her, and for once she didn't seem to mind, slinging her arms over his neck and arching her back to him, even letting him slip in some tongue. Using his left elbow to support their weight, he slid his right hand from her face to her neck, past her shoulder blades and down her back, kissing her fervently as he tried his luck and grazed her bottom.

She instantly broke the moment, pulling away from the kiss to move his hand for him, moving it back to her waist while giving him a stern look.

"Tai," she warned.

This was it. The minor detail of her refusal to get intimate with him was her downside.

Well, it had started out minor anyway. It was now starting to creep into major crisis territory.

It wasn't just sex. It was everything. She barely let him touch her, and they never went past kissing. Even then, she would pull away at the best parts. It was like he was a preteen all over again, when holding hands had been a big deal and a kiss scandalous.

"Oops," he said with a small smile, pretending like he hadn't known what he was doing. He leaned down to kiss her again, but she put a hand to his chest, gently pushing him away.

"It's getting late. Don't you have to get up early for work tomorrow?"

And this. Whenever he did try to pass a boundary she had set up, she would promptly send him home. It was almost like she was conditioning him, though it did little to stop him from trying again.

"I can spend the night," he suggested hazily, meeting her lips.

She wiggled underneath him and slipped off the couch. "Come on."

She outstretched a hand for him to hold so she could help him up. He groaned loudly as he obliged.

"But I'm tired," he complained, trying to kiss her again.

She allowed him a single one before pulling back. "Call me tomorrow."

"Fine," he muttered, slightly frustrated. He let her lead him to the front door, and perhaps she saw him looking disappointed, as she reached up to kiss him one more time before she said her final good night. The kiss was better than a peck, but it wasn't anything special.

He expected to see the usual weekend scenario at his flat: Matt sulking in his room, wallowing in self-pity as he drowned himself in alcohol and choked himself with cigarette smoke. Thankfully, Matt had stopped getting inebriated on a daily basis, but he claimed it was only because it was getting too difficult going to work everyday with a hangover. Weekends were when he caught up.

Instead, he came home to a rare sight as of late. The lights were on, and after a bit of searching, Tai found his flatmate in the bathroom, looking as if he had somewhere to go.

"Hey," Matt greeted him distractedly, checking his reflection in their newly fixed mirror. His hair was done, his facial stubble gone, his clothes presentable.

Confused by his sudden cleaned-up appearance, Tai asked, "Are you going out?"

Matt moved pieces of his fringe out of his eyes. "Yeah."

When Matt didn't elaborate, he continued, "Where are you going?"

"Strip club."

He lifted a brow. "You're going to a strip club?"

Matt didn't appear to catch the disbelief in his tone. "Yeah. Want to come?"

"Nah, I'm all right." He leaned against the door, grinning a little. "I can't believe you're going to a strip club. You know tomorrow's Monday, don't you?"

"Yes, well, apparently, Sunday's the best night to go."

He raised an eyebrow because Matt was one of the last people who would have known something like that. "Says who?"

"TAI!" came a sudden, overenthusiastic voice.

From Matt's room emerged Davis Motomiya, a friend of Tai's from his schooling days. They had been on the same football team together, and Davis practically worshipped him.

"Hey Davis," Tai greeted, slightly puzzled. Matt and Davis never hung out together. He didn't even think they were on terms where they even went out of their ways to talk to each other without a mutual friend present.

"I ran into him on the way back from the market," Matt explained, reading the confusion in Tai's voice.

"Come to the strip club with us!" Davis suggested excitedly.

"I would, but I'm really tired, and I have to get up early in the morning," he lied.

In all honesty, he wouldn't mind going out, but something told him Sora would not be okay with that.

"Come onnnn," Davis pleaded, his face falling instantly. "We never hang out anymore. It's like you dropped off the face of the planet."

Tai shrugged, used to Davis' dramatic whinging. "I've just been really busy with work."

"But Matt has officially been single for a month! We're going to celebrate by buying him his very first lap dance!"

"I went to a strip club with Megumi once," Matt muttered to no one in particular, scowling at the memory. "She bought me a lap dance."

Davis ignored him, which made Tai believe Matt had spent a great deal talking about his ex-girlfriend already. That was all Matt talked about anymore, if he even felt like talking at all.

"Hey, Tai, can I borrow a shirt?" Davis asked, changing the subject. "I don't want to go out looking like this, but all of Matt's clothes are too small on me."

"Tai and I wear the same size," Matt snapped.

While Tai and Davis enjoyed exercising, Matt avoided it as much as possible. It wasn't that he was lazy. He just didn't like sport or the gym. The difference in body type was something they liked to tease him about, though Matt would come back with a comment about his taller height.

"Knock yourself out," Tai offered, and Davis left to go to his room. He raised a questioning eyebrow at Matt. "Why are you going to a strip club with Davis?"

Matt sighed. "I don't know. I told him I didn't want to go, but because he's been so influenced by a certain somebody"—he glared at Tai—"here I am."

Tai frowned.

"You're going too," Matt informed him.

"No, I really can't. I have work tomorrow."

Matt scowled at him. "And I don't?"

He opened his mouth to protest but realised he had nothing.

"I'm tired," he tried again, already knowing it sounded like an excuse.

"You always are," Matt grumbled, turning back to the mirror.

He leaned against the counter, the sarcasm not lost in him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

He held in the urge to roll his eyes. Sometimes, Matt could act like such a little girl.

"Just tell me. Come on, humour me, Matt."

He expected Matt to just ignore him as he always did, but, to his surprise, he answered.

"You're the one who always tells me to go out, yet you never have time to do anything anymore," Matt explained, glaring at him sourly. He then sighed, turning on the faucet to wash the hair gel from his hands. "I only agreed to go because I thought it wouldn't remind me of her, but thanks to Davis just now, I remember that we went together once during uni. How is it that I even went there with her? Maybe I should just stay home too. I don't even like strip clubs."

Tai contained his sigh, pushing Matt's shoulder roughly to let him know that he was not pleased by the guilt trip. "Fine, I'll go, you bastard. Give me five minutes to change. Have your stupid hair ready by then."

"I don't want to go anymore."

"Well, I do," he retorted firmly. "If we don't go tonight, I'll never forgive you, so stop thinking about that bitch and get ready."

He turned his heel and began the trek to his room, faintly hearing Matt autocorrecting him. "She's not a bitch."

Despite the lie, he liked to believe this was progress. This was the first time since the breakup that Matt had willingly wanted to go out. It had to mean something.

Davis raised an eyebrow as Matt took out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. "I thought you quit ages ago."

Matt didn't answer him, pausing momentarily to light one before storing the carton in his pockets again.

"He's addicted," Tai explained for him.

"I'm not addicted," Matt snapped crabbily. "I can stop if I want to."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say. Just get the hell away from me. The smoke is getting in my face."

Matt rolled his eyes at Tai, not saying anything as he simply stepped back to walk downwind of him and Davis. Tai turned around with a small grin to say he hadn't meant any harm, but Matt brushed it off, remaining behind the other two.

"So where have you been, Tai?" Davis asked, stretching his arms over his head. "Nobody's heard from you in ages. We all thought you died."

Considering the second pair of ears behind them, Tai shrugged nonchalantly. "Work's been hectic."

Davis raised an eyebrow. "Even on the weekends? Come on, you've always been down to hang out, but I haven't seen you for a month! What, do you have a girlfriend or something?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Tai shot down immediately, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "Why would I have a girlfriend?"

It wasn't really a lie. Despite everything, neither he nor Sora had ever established that they were boyfriend and girlfriend. Technically, he was not tied down to her.

Davis cracked a smile. "I don't know. I just thought I'd ask for the hell of it." He broke eye contact, staring straight ahead. "So, anyway, Kari's pregnant," he started, saying as if Tai didn't already know. "What's that all about? We're only 24…"

Tai could tell Davis was trying his hardest to act like he hadn't been thinking about bringing it up for a while, but Davis was a terrible liar.

Tai smirked. "Yeah, now you really have no chance with my sister."

Davis scowled, looked quite displeased. "You're never going to let me live that down, are you? It was just a stupid crush I had when I was a kid." He cleared his throat. "It's just weird how old we are now, isn't it? My friends are getting married, they're having kids…" He shuddered. "I couldn't do that. We're so young."

"We're not that young."

"Well, I'm that young," Davis rephrased cheekily. "As for the two of you, your biological clocks are ticking."

Matt sighed as he sipped his drink. Davis currently had his face buried in some stripper's chest. Tai was flirting with another, who would probably con him of his cash by the end of the night, which he probably deserved. He hated strip clubs. What the hell had he been thinking when he agreed to this? This was a waste of money and time.

"Hey love. Would you like a dance?"

A woman had come up to him. She had platinum blonde hair curled and pinned intricately, glitter all over her exposed body. He felt awkward talking to a naked woman he was not attracted to. He began to shake his head no, but Tai appeared beside him in a flash, wallet in hand. "I've got it! I've got it!"

"No, I don't want—"

But the woman was already straddling him. He shot Tai a death glare.

"You're welcome," Tai said, laughing at his expense.

He hated this. He hated this stripper. He hated Tai. He hated Davis. He hated everything in the world. Why the hell had he agreed to come here? Had he really been that desperate for a distraction?

"You're really cute," the stripper said to him, annoyingly interrupting his inner rant. "What's your name?"

"Matt," he answered dully, not really knowing where to point his eyes.

"Pleased to meet you, Matt. My name's Charity."

Of course it is.

He felt a drink and a wallet being stuffed in his hand. He looked over and saw a tuft of brown hair disappearing into the crowd.

Tai, that bastard. Just wait until he got his hands on him.

He had chosen the girl who looked the least like Megumi to give Matt a dance. Tai, satisfied that Matt was distracted for now, took out his mobile to write Sora back. She had messaged him to say she couldn't sleep.

'You should have let me spend the night then.'

A second later, Sora answered, predictably ignoring what he had said.

'Why aren't you sleeping either? You're going to be tired in the morning.'

A dancer asked him for a dance, and he politely declined.

'Matt made me go out. He's still trying to get over his ex.'

He took a sip of his drink and settled himself further into the plush seat he had picked out for himself. A part of him felt like he had no business here, so he was just going to sit here until Matt was ready to go. Knowing Matt, that wouldn't be far from now. He'd entertain himself with Sora's virtual presence in the meantime.

'The poor dear. Where did you guys go?'

Damn.

He set his drink on the table and stared at his mobile. His first instinct was to tell a little white lie, but he decided there was no need. She'd understand that he was only here for his friend, and it wasn't like they were on serious terms anyway.

Besides, Megumi let Matt go to a strip club once, and Sora was much cooler than Megumi ever was. She'd understand.

'Strip club lol'

Still, just in case, he added the "lol" to indicate the trifling nature of the situation. He took his drink again, taking sips as he waited.

A few minutes later, she had yet to respond, and he began to grow nervous. Unless she had fallen asleep, she was purposely not responding. He seriously doubted the former. He cursed to himself, wishing he could go back in time to say something else to her.

"Tai!" Davis suddenly plopped down next to him, drunkenly throwing an arm over his shoulder and leaning his body against his. "Where's Matt?"

"Uh, over there," Tai said hurriedly, standing up. "Hey, I have to take a call really quickly. Buy him a drink or something to loosen him up. You can put it on my tab."

"What about me?" Davis asked, looking at him with glazed eyes.

"Yeah, go nuts," Tai said hurriedly, wanting him to go away. Davis had a habit of attaching himself to him, but the permission to use Tai's tab was enough to get rid of him. Davis saluted him, then wobbled out of the couch towards their friend. Tai dashed to the exit, dialling Sora's number the moment he was outside.

"You're at a strip club?!" she hissed upon answering, sounding furious.

"For Matt," Tai clarified quickly. "He wanted to go out, so—"

"So you went to a strip club," she finished for him, quite pointedly making him realise that perhaps that hadn't been the best decision after all.

"Well, yeah…"

"And when were you planning to tell me this, Tai? Do you do this a lot? Go to these kind of places and not tell me about it?"

"No! Sor, I haven't gone out at all since I started dating you. I didn't think you'd care…"

"You're right. Because why would I care that my boyfriend sneaks out to a strip club without telling me?!"

He flinched. It was the first time either of them had called the other a boyfriend or girlfriend. He wasn't sure if he was okay with it, but he would have liked the chance to think about it before she broke up with him over this.

Not really knowing what to say, he settled with, "I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."

"Obviously not. Good night, Tai."

"Sora, I—" She hung up, fuelling a nerve. He couldn't stand when girls did that, but he did what he knew she wanted him to do, which was to ring her back.

Unsurprisingly, she didn't answer. He groaned in frustration, wishing she would pick up just so he could tell her that she was acting stupid. He dialled again; it went to voicemail again.

Well, there was nothing more he could do about that. She could ring him whenever she was ready, but he wasn't going to let this petty thing ruin his night.

Despite thinking this, he could already feel his mood suffering. He sighed, turned back towards the entrance of the building and noticed for the first time that there was a massive bouncer at the door, doing his job of looking intimidating extremely well.

"I just came out to take a call," Tai explained, raising his mobile to him.

"You can't come back in once you've gone out."

He glared at the guard, mostly because he wasn't even looking his way. "Are you serious?"

"Those are the rules."

His arse.

"My friend came out for a cigarette thirty minutes ago! He got back in!"

"You get a stamp on the hand if you're a smoker," the bouncer informed him, holding one up and finally looking in his direction for once.

"Well, give me a stamp," he demanded testily, even though he knew his attitude was progressively ruining his chances to get back inside.

The doorman scowled, not amused by Tai's demanding tone. "You get the stamp before you go out, hotshot. Pay up, or go home."

He wanted to argue further, but considering this guard was easily three times his weight, Tai angrily reached to his back pocket for his wallet. It took him several pats to realise that it wasn't there. He swore silently as he remembered he had given it to Matt to use.

"My wallet's inside," he explained.

"Yeah, I'm sure it is. Get out of here."

The bouncer rolled his eyes and pushed him out to the pavement, further triggering Tai's anger. He took a deep breath to calm himself, knowing there would be no good arguing with this man. Instead, he took out his mobile. He rang Matt, then Davis, then Matt, then Davis. Neither of them answered.

He tried his luck and tried bargaining with the guard again, but to no avail.

With no options left, he did the only thing he could do. He messaged Matt and Davis that he had gone, then began his long walk home.

It was a familiar feeling, being drunk, but this time, he found that instead of wanting to kill himself, he was rather enjoying it.

He drank the last bit of his drink that no longer had any taste and clumsily sat up to put the glass on the table, accidentally knocking into Charity's chest on the way.

He thought he understood why his friends liked strip clubs so much now.

"Touching costs you extra, love," she purred to him, pushing him back down.

He opened Tai's wallet and saw that he had somehow spent all the notes inside. For a fleeting second, he wondered if Tai would care. He grinned at her. "Oops, no more."

She smirked back. "You're lucky you're cute." She leaned in and put the empty wallet in his back pocket, squeezing his bum as she did so.

"You're cute too," he slurred drunkenly, hiccoughing once. "Y-you're the sexiest girl I've ever met!"

He couldn't make out her facial features anymore, but he meant it.

"Why, thank you," she accepted.

"You're blonde." He took a lock of her hair between his fingers, then held it up to his. "I am too. We're practically made for each other. You and I should—hic—have babies. My brother's having a baby. He's blonde too. You'd like him. Did I tell you he's having a baby? They'll be sexy stripper babies. Yours and mine, not his. We can name them—hey, where are you going?"

She got off him, smiling warmly. He stood up too, using the table as support, blinking hard as the blood rushed to his head.

He was drunker than he thought.

He took one arm off the table, reaching forward to grab Charity. He couldn't tell whether this was her arm or her waist or her leg or her neck, but he was holding onto something.

"Did you stop because I'm not giving you money anymore? Come on, Charity, don't be like that."

"My shift is over."

His face fell. "So you're leaving me?"

She smiled at him once more, then leaned in to his ear, hands on his shoulders. "Come with me to the back. Maybe we can go somewhere and hang out after I change."

She intertwined her fingers with his, then led him through the club. He drunkenly wobbled behind her, not really paying attention to where he was going. She opened a large metal door at the back of the venue that led to a small corridor. He squinted, trying to adjust to the change in lighting as they entered a brightly lit dressing room.

"You're sparkly and naked," he slurred, blinking repeatedly to try and turn the blurry mass in front of him into a discernable figure.

She picked up a robe from a chair and slipped it on. "Give me a second to change."

"Why are you putting clothes on?" he asked disappointedly, snatching the shirt she had pulled out of a bag. He pointed at what appeared to be a couch. "You and me. Right here. Let's go. I'll give you a million yen."

She frowned as he fumbled with his belt. "I'm not a prostitute."

He laughed as if she had something immensely hilarious, pulling her by the arm to him. "I know that. I'm—hic—not like that. I'm a nice guy, I swear. Ask anyone. I don't judge you, Charity. Do you judge me? Am I talking too much? This is funny because I don't actually talk that much—"

She shushed him with a finger to her lips. There was a pause, and he took it as permission to try to kiss her. She wouldn't let him, putting a hand to his chest to stop him. He wished he could see her face more clearly to see what her expression was. It would have helped him decide his next move.

"How drunk are you, love?"

He removed her hand from his chest, taking a step closer to her again. "Not that drunk," he promised, truly believing his words. "I want you. You're everything I've ever wanted."

She seemed unsure, so he leaned down to kiss her. It was sloppy and clumsy and not particularly any good, but he kept going anyway. Whether it was his drunkenness or his loneliness feeling it for him, it felt good to kiss someone—even if that person wasn't his Megumi.