I walked into Lauren's testing room feeling drained. Even eating lunch hadn't done much to re-energize me. Knowing that we needed to come back for another round sat heavy in my gut the entire time that we were in the mess hall. I had mostly stared at my salad, poking the pieces of grilled chicken around in a pool of too much dressing. I'd regret it later, once I was done with testing and starving.

Lauren snapped the door shut, and I let out a deep breath. My last simulation with Eric had been my longest ever - nine minutes forty seconds. It was still impressive, but it had dragged on to me. Floundering around, alone in a dark ocean that threatened to consume me - I'd truly felt fear then. Now I felt like I could understand the terror that had overwhelmed poor Christina when we'd been swarmed by bugs.

I cleared my throat. "Eric wanted to make sure that you read the note in my file about my times. Same for Four, if you see him before he runs another one of my tests," I said quietly. Lauren paused in re-checking her tools to pull up this morning's simulation. I watched her eyes scan through the details, ever vigilant. Then she nodded.

"Got it. So we keep an eye on anything over eight minutes for you. Did he explain why to you?" she said. After a morning spent with loaded questions, I valued the way that Lauren was speaking completely openly to me now. She wasn't rooting around for half-truths in my answers. She honestly just wanted to make sure that I knew what was going on.

I nodded. "I'm not gonna pretend that I understand all of it," I said with a laugh, "but from what I understand I'm like… an outlier? I get what the sims are looking for while I'm under, so that's making my times better. Then to tell when I'm actually afraid of something, you guys need to look at a different time frame."

Lauren gave me a thumbs up before peeling the plastic off of a new set of electrodes. "Yep. It's nothing to worry about. It happens every once in a while," she said. I took the electrodes from her and started placing them.

She spun to look at the computer once again but turned once more back to me without so much as touching the keyboard. "He gave you the info dump about what you should be doing as we're IDing fears, right? Since that was your first actual, personal fear we've ID'd," Lauren said.

I played with the wires leading down from the leads on my collarbone. Eric had quickly gone over my "homework," as it were, right after I'd woken up for the last time. "Yeah, basically," I replied. "I'm supposed to reflect on what the simulation could have meant and where the fear might be coming from. If it's irrational, rational, stuff like that. All in prep for phase three."

"Well it's for more than just phase three," Lauren commented. "But yeah, that's the gist. Know yourself so you can't be surprised by your weaknesses - that's Dauntless for you." It was yet another interpretation of the faction. There were so many ways of looking at Dauntless that sometimes my head started spinning. With so much flexibility and nuance, was it really a surprise that there were people with multiple aptitudes like myself?

I jumped in the chair as Lauren's hand touched mine. She squeezed it lightly - reassuring me before she threw me once again to the simulations - and moved back to the computer. "I know you've had a tough morning. Let's get you in and out so that you can breathe before the next thing. Today's a long day," Lauren said cheerfully. "How d'you think you'll feel about alleyway brawls?"

Once everyone went through their second round of simulations, we were gathered together by Lauren. This time we huddled in the hallway by the bank of elevators. Two went up into the glass-windowed Spire. One delved deeper into the earth, to storage areas and the tunnels that connected our faction with the old faction shelters. Will had wanted to go explore when he'd found out about them, before Molly had been caught, and I'd staunchly refused.

They weren't our destination now. Four had us duck into the stairwell and start the long climb to the higher levels. There were too many of us to have a proper discussion in the hall without getting in the way of actual Dauntless trying to move around their normal lives. Plus it was after three now and dependents were starting to scurry around now that they were out of class. Dauntless was liveliest in these hours leading up to and after dinner.

Our destination was one of the top levels. The hallways here were bright with sunlight - the stark difference between being in the Pit versus the Spire. Four prodded us into a conference-style room. We would actually get to sit for a time. I never would have thought that I would miss the desks from my time in school, but there was something to be said about having a desk to lean on.

Today was the only day that the men and women from Dauntless' career initiative were available all at the same time. Lauren introduced them quickly while a packet of printouts went around the table. I flipped idly through the pages once I got mine. My first reaction was to treat this the way any presentation had gone in Mid Levels: keep my eyes open long enough to survive and nod along to the jokes the presenters made. Then I actually looked at the info in the packets.

Fence detail, E-call response, driver specialization, support staffing, teaching and training - there were more than a dozen areas currently looking for new recruits and even more listed with filled capacity that still sounded astounding. My interest was no longer forced. I sat up straighter in my chair and lapped up the information about the training tracks available immediately upon completing initiation.

"You may be thinking now that once you pass through these last two phases and complete the examination that you're ready to anything that Dauntless can throw at you," the lieutenant said. Nods went around the table, myself among them. Wasn't that the point of Initiation?

His lip quirked into a smile. "It's easy to fall into that trap. Actually, you're still a few months out from being a functional Dauntless and more than likely you'll never quite be ready for anything that being Dauntless can bring," he said lightly. "And that's the truth. I've been Initiated for sixteen years now. Haven't seen everything. Won't ever see everything that this crazy place can throw at you.

"And that's alright. We're gonna train you up good, give you a base skill set to build from, and then you're gonna pick a speciality. That's what all these people here are gonna talk to you about. I'm in the training corps, the backbone of Dauntless." He jutted his chin and flipped open the closest packet to him.

"In here's an overview, but there's more training for you all to work through in the weeks after Initiation. You'll get a break - we're not monsters and you've been going non-stop from High-Levels to here - but then you're going right back to the grindstone. Current procedures, hand-to-hand mastery, marksmanship - all the basics drilled over and over till you can do it without thinking," the lieutenant said cheerfully. My pencil drooped in my hand. It made sense… but I was tired just thinking about it.

The lieutenant went on to describe several specialized units with the Dauntless defense corps that we would be able to opt into upon completing basic. Training to get into something like the drivers unit went on year-round and wasn't too intense. Other units like field medics had very specific, very rigorous weeks of training in conjunction with time spent at the hospital working under Erudite doctors there. There was something for everyone, even just within this one facet of Dauntless.

I scribbled down a few notes from his presentation - notably the one week buffer we'd have between completion of Initiation and the start of the two month long basic training - and felt more than a bit sorry that we couldn't hear more from him. But today was an overview; we were more than welcome to either ask our instructors for more information or find the LT in the mess hall to ask about specific units.

The other presenters were just as interesting. The only dud might have been the woman speaking about the fence guard. It was the least popular division of Dauntless for good reason; standing guard out in the elements was boring and taxing. It was difficult for the woman to try and give it some hype. No one wrote anything down while she was speaking. There was just no comparing those who learned and used free climbing skills to check and repair solar panels to standing around in the pouring rain or freezing snow to watch a barren wasteland.

Max came in at the end of the afternoon, just before we were going to get released for dinner. He interrupted my dwindling attention to the final bit of the repair team's session, standing just behind Four. Their whispering caught my ear. I was completely sapped of the energy to listen to more details about specializations. The day had just been too long. I wheeled my chair a few inches to the side to try and catch what Max was saying.

I couldn't hear everything, but I did hear some. "They've really been… got our backs. So when you're back... be sure to just let 'em through. Full access," Max murmured.

Four shifted uncomfortably. His arms were crossed already but I watched his forehead furrow. "That's not protocol. Has Buck okay'd this?" he asked.

"...matter if he did. I okay'd it," Max retorted. "'S'all for good reasons… Might even be wrapped before you're back." Four didn't look convinced. His eyes were locked on the ceiling as he chewed on his lower lip.

Before Four was back? Back from what? I couldn't shuffle any closer without shoving into Will. I flipped over one of my info sheets and scribbled a note to him. Is Four going somewhere? Have you heard anything?

Will was my go-to for gossip and rumors. Something about them seemed to always catch his ear. He glanced down at the note and slowly slid it on top of his packet. It was really like being back in school now. He made sure to keep his eyes on the person speaking in the front of the room as he carefully wrote his response.

In the meantime, Four grumbled under his breath about not liking the sacrifice that was being made of security for… whoever's sake. I still wasn't clear who was getting let through and through what. The fence? When the speaker turned to verify something in their notes, Will slid the paper back.

I haven't heard anything. You listening in on Max, too?

Yeah, I wrote back. You know what they're talking about? I wasn't as careful as Will was, chancing a moment when the speaker was answering Lynn's question to give the paper back. Four had said something more, but it had been masked by Lynn.

Max chuckled quietly and shook his head. "You can't leave Lauren in the middle of Initiation. If we need you, we'll ask. For now, you're staying on as Instructor," he replied. I tugged my paper back from Will.

He's not leaving until after Initiation, apparently, I added and passed it once again.

Will twisted his head slightly to look at me solely to roll his eyes. He mouthed something to me. He'd heard Max. Let's talk later, he wrote back to me on the paper. No one else had questions after Lynn. The speaker stepped aside, Max's cue to take his place. Whatever conversation he was having with Four was now over.

Max sauntered to the front of the conference table, his hands folded behind his back. "So now you've got a better idea of what life will and can be like in Dauntless. LT Terrence will get those of you who make it ready for generalist work and from there you'll be moving into whatever available specializations are up," he summarized.

I looked down at my packet of papers, all marked up with the different areas that had sounded most interesting to me. Picking Dauntless had been a decision that I'd made in under a day. Seeing all the options laid out now, I wondered if maybe we would have gotten more than just nine transfers based on aptitude alone.

If people knew that being Dauntless meant not only carrying a gun but also carrying people from burning buildings, would they be more inclined to brave the faction of the bold? If they knew we were the ones aiding Candor with rehabilitating those convicted of violent offenses, few as they may be, would that keep people away instead?

I certainly hadn't understood the breadth of duties necessary to keep Dauntless running. Hearing them now, though, made me more excited even than I had been before. There was so much more to this faction than being a tattoo'd grunt stomping around the fence - though there was still a place even there for someone whose strengths didn't lie in strategy or agility.

Max continued on with his speech, commending all paths of life within Dauntless and reminding us that all options still required us to embody the core tenants of bravery and bold action. His finger pointed around the table as he said so. "We believe in action. We believe in violent justice over an unjust peace. Make sure you listen to what was said today so that you can pick the place where you can accomplish your own bold actions, to be the Dauntless that we need from you and not one who serves themself alone," he said firmly.

He rapped his knuckles on the table. "Think carefully. If you believe that you can do that, can put yourself aside for the good of the faction, then you may be selected to follow the Leadership track. Candidates are nominated after basic. You don't ask to be Leadership: you're chosen. There's only a few slots that open each year. So, be your best Dauntless and you may one day stand here now where I am," Max concluded. "Even if you don't get your own stripes, still be that Dauntless for the sake of Chicago. Not for your own ego or pride."

It was a fine speech. Lauren was nodding along and more than a few around the table had scribbled down key points about what was and wasn't honorable as a Dauntless. I had returned halfway through to puzzling out the curious question of just what he and Four had been discussing. It could be nothing. More than likely, it was nothing - or at least nothing that concerned an uninitiated transfer - but dammit I wanted to know. Back in Abnegation, even though Caleb and I weren't adults our parents had no problems telling us exactly what was going on in the Council. Dauntless should have that same freedom of information, right?

Christina nudged me when we were finally freed to head down to the mess hall. "They hand-pick Leadership, but did you see the way that Peter looked when Max mentioned it? He thinks he's gonna get one of those slots," she said with a snort of derision.

I laughed along with her. I hadn't noticed but I wasn't surprised. "Wait, wait, show me," I begged. She pantomimed jumping up and down with obnoxiously wide eyes. I stuffed my fist in front of my mouth to keep my laughter from echoing down the stairwell.

"Beautiful," I snorted between barely managed breaths. Al groaned behind us, not joining in with the conversation. My laughter died out and I quickly averted my eyes away from him. I still hadn't found the time to talk to him. Tonight wasn't the right night, I told myself. Maybe tomorrow if I was less tired.

Lynn and Marlene didn't let us just mope around in our dorm after dinner. The two Dauntless-born girls threw open the door, pointed around the room, and demanded that we all get off our asses and follow them. I wasn't pleased when Peter and Drew joined in, but if they were going to stop being isolated loners glowering at the rest of us now that Molly had been exposed, this was how it was going to happen.

Attempts to ask either girl just where they were taking us didn't work. They exchanged knowing smirks and just shrugged. "You'll find out when we get there," Lynn answered Christina.

Winding through the halls of Dauntless, we were heading somewhere near the Pit but not directly connected. I didn't recognize it at all. My face broke into a grin though as we crossed over the threshold into the room.

"Oh, hell yes," I said under my breath. I clenched my fist to my chest as I looked around the room.

Uriah stood with another boy with pool cues in hand. There was no doubt that they were siblings; this had to be Uriah's older brother, Zeke. He waved at our crowd of transfers before tossing another cue to Marlene. "See, that didn't take too long. We just broke here," he said.

The Petrad brothers weren't the only ones in the game room, nor was there just one pool table. Their blue-felted table was front and center, but there was a second table - this one with green felt - just down from there with a pair of older Dauntless that I didn't recognize finishing up a game. On the left side of the room was a table tennis table complete with a scoreboard mounted on the wal. The rest of the walls were lined with small two and four person tables stained and pockmarked from use.

"Alright, so it's been long enough that Zeke here thought you guys would be into something they did his year," Uriah said. He twirled the pool cue in one hand, grimacing as it slapped into his leg and nearly went flying. Clearing his throat, he continued on. "To keep from overthinking all the stupid psych stuff that comes with Phase Two, they set up a bracket. Singles and doubles. Best overall gets bragging rights and a tribute of chocolate cake the next time it's served."

Will bounced on his heels and surged to stand next to Uriah as they gathered the balls back into formation to break again. Zeke walked around with a clipboard gathering everyone's names. I looked at Christina. "What about people who suck at pool?" I asked.

"Guess we're screwed," she said with a laugh. "Maybe we can run our own bracket for last place players. Worst one gets sympathy cake."

I still wrote down my name on the clipboard. There was still some fun to be had in trying. Zeke pointed to the table tennis setup when he took the list back. "We all sucked my year, but there's ping-pong there, too. Or a couple strat games on the shelf behind Bud and Charlie," he offered.

Chris shrugged. "I'm good for whatever. It'll be a bit before we're up on the list anyways," she said. I grimaced as Peter and Drew immediately scribbled their names on the scoreboard for table-tennis. That left the non-table games or just standing around watching the game. Much as I liked Uriah and Marlene, I wasn't that into watching someone else play pool.

I was however pleasantly surprised when I found a sturdy box labelled "Conquest." I yanked it from the pile and flipped the lid to show Christina. "Please tell me you know how to play," I said, unable to stop from grinning slyly.

Many, many afternoons had been spent in the library at school playing Conquest instead of doing the homework that Caleb and I had been assigned. It was my game. The rules were simple but there were so many different ways to finagle them. Christina tapped her chin with one finger before shrugging.

"I'm sure it'll come back to me," she said. We claimed a spot next to the blue pool table so we could cheer whenever either player made a good play. I started to lay out the board as Christina studied the instructions printed on the inside of the box lid.

A heavy hand lay on my shoulder. "Mmm?" I said, turning to look. Al stood there, his eyes on his hand and not on mine.

"Can we talk?" he whispered. With the growing volume of people around us, only I could hear him. Lynn booed loudly as Uriah made a trick shot with the cue behind his back. The hair on the back of my neck raised.

"Uhm, I guess?" I replied, keeping my voice low as well. Christina still needed to finish going over the rules. She waved half-heartedly as I excused myself.

Al walked us out of the room, back to the dim hallway. His expression seemed somehow more morose in the blue lighting here. "What?" I said once we were alone.

His hands wrung as he continued to look down at them. "I… I wanted to talk about what happened at the party," Al said softly. My stomach churned and my cheeks warmed. I wished in that moment that I could have been somewhere else. Maybe under a sim again. Or in the training room running that teamwork course again.

"We were drinking and betting each other stupid things. It's not that big a deal," I said. If I dismissed everything now, that could be enough to get Al back to his usual level of awkwardness. One that I could deal with without avoiding him.

He cringed and his hands stopped. "It kinda is, though," he insisted.

"Why? You bet me a thing and I had the option to not do it. It's fine," I said firmly. "It's really fine." It wasn't, not when the bet had been to guilt me into kissing him, but it was something that I could ignore. Could pretend was just a stupid, drunken mistake of his with no real meaning.

Al's mouth opened and closed a few times before he managed to spit something out. "I don't want to say it," he whined.

"There's nothing to say," I said. I didn't care that he felt he needed to say something about his painfully apparent feelings. I mean, not that I didn't care, but I sure as hell didn't want him to actually spill his guts here and-

"I like you, Tris. And I was using the party to try and move that… forward… in some way," Al admitted. I flinched and looked away. No. This wasn't happening. His feet shuffled closer to me, into my bubble of personal space. My shoulders locked as I all but screamed "Do Not Touch" with every inch of my body.

Between clenched teeth, I said quickly, "I could tell." Please, please get the message.

He reached over me to place one palm on the wall. Maybe he thought it was casual and friendly. I looked all around trying to find the best way to duck out from under him. Al was a big kid. I fit under his arm easily and not in a comfortable manner. "So? What do you… think? I thought I should just say something. That maybe I'd been too direct for a St- er, well. That maybe you needed to hear me say it before you'd try and, uh, reciprocate," Al said.

Desperation has a stench. Noxious and putrid, I couldn't breathe without taking it in. My head spun. "Al, no," I hissed.

"You're not in Abnegation anymore," he offered. "It's fine." His other hand came up to touch my shoulder.

My world tipped sideways at his touch. I threw his hand off and shoved him away. I backed away as far as I could, the cold stone of the wall leeching instantly through my tank top. It grounded me slightly but not enough to quell my frantic response.

"It is not fine," I yelled. "Maybe you didn't learn about reading the damn room when you were growing up, but we Stiffs are more than capable of understanding flirting. We just know how to let someone down gently to save face."

I could see the horror and mortification spelled across his face as I yelled. I just kept going. Everything had been bottled up for too long. He'd broken the dam and it all needed to rush out. The world was still a narrow tunnel in my sight. Had been since he'd broken my bubble.

"Now I'm gonna spell it out real clear." A nervous laugh broke through my anger - the sound seemed off in the stone hall - as I realized I could I throw his words right back at him. "You seem to need to hear me say it before you stop: I'm not into you. I've never been into you," I said sharply.

"Tris, hang on. Just give me a- a minute," he pled. Once again he stepped closer. He wasn't getting it. I couldn't deal with him here: in my space. I coiled my leg as much as I could before stomping down on his toes with my heel.

"Leave me alone," I yelled once again. He'd tumbled to one side to grasp at his foot. I shoved past him, ran past the open game room door. My heart was hammering in my throat. Adrenaline raced through me and compelled me on and on.

This was just too much. I'd tried to explain what I felt and he had continued to press towards me. That conversation. Al. They screamed "wrong" to me, and I needed to get away. I passed the Pit. Passed the way to the dorms and garages. Stopping wasn't an option.

I kept running.