Paradigm Shift
Chapter 19: Love Shrine
The sunlight on his face stirred him from his sleep. He had had some sort of dream, though he forgot what it was about as soon as he woke up.
Instead, his first thought was the revelation that tomorrow was Megumi's birthday. It wasn't something he had actively counted down or anything like that. It had just appeared in his head, like the dream he had just forgotten.
He rubbed his eyes to wake himself up, then turned to see Mimi still sleeping beside him. He looked past her to the clock on his nightstand, indicating it was 8 AM.
That was odd. He never woke up this early.
He listened for the sound of Tai walking around the flat but heard nothing. Being the morning person that he was, he might have already left for the day. Matt could faintly remember him saying he was to see his family today.
He set his head back down on his pillow again, this time looking straight at Mimi. He felt guilty that his first thought hadn't been about her, but it wasn't his fault. It wasn't like he could control his subconscious.
When was Mimi's birthday? He had a calendar reminder in his phone but couldn't remember the exact day. He knew she was a year younger than him, just like Megumi.
Mimi was almost intimidating in that she always looked beautiful. Even in her sleep, she was so serene that she looked like she was only pretending. He wondered if she had ever gone through an awkward phase, or if she had been born this beautiful.
Probably the latter. It was a little conceited and something he'd never say aloud, but he had never gone through an awkward phase either.
He inched closer to her and kissed her awake. She stirred but didn't actually seem to have woken up, so he kissed her again.
"Morning," she murmured, though her eyes were still shut.
"Wake up."
She squeezed her eyes tighter. "What time is it?"
"Wake up."
She opened one eye slowly, then both when she saw he was staring at her. "Matt, you startled me." She started to fix her hair, self-conscious of her appearance when she already looked impeccable. "Why are you watching me sleep?"
He didn't answer her question, moving forward to kiss her again. She giggled, wrapping an arm around his neck.
After the months he had spent going to bed alone and waking up alone, it made him happy that it was no longer something he had to dread. He enjoyed waking up with her beside him, being with someone who cared for him.
"Mimi?"
"Hm?"
"Let's go on a weekend trip."
She yawned, covering her mouth with her delicate hand. "When?"
"Now." He threw the covers off of them and sat up. "Let's go now."
She pulled the duvet back over her body. "Now?"
He took her by the hand and tried to pull her up. "It's Saturday. We can go now and come back tomorrow."
She finally let him, sitting up too, staring at him in surprise. "Since when are you so spontaneous? I didn't know you had that in you."
"That's because you've built a caricature of me and exaggerate how calculated I actually am," he informed her. "What do you say? How about Hakone? It's close, and you like going to the onsen, right?"
"I do," Mimi agreed slowly, thinking it over. She didn't take much convincing. "Can we stay at a ryokan?"
"Sure."
"Can we stay at an expensive ryokan with our own private onsen?"
He chuckled. "Sure. I'd rather bathe with you than a bunch of other men."
"Then okay!" she exclaimed, suddenly excited too. "You know, you're in for a treat. I look super cute in a yukata."
"I bet you do. I'll make breakfast. You get ready, and let's go."
Matt left his room so that Mimi could freshen up, entering the main area of his flat as the front door opened. Tai came inside, sweaty and out of breath from his morning jog.
Tai often hinted that he ran in the mornings, but it was the first time Matt had woken up early enough to see him fresh from it. To him, it was something too unnecessarily tiring for a weekend morning. Weekends were for relaxing to recharge from a week of working.
Tai pulled his earphones out, looking mildly surprised. "Why are you awake? It's a Saturday."
Matt shrugged. "Mimi and I were thinking about going on a trip, but she wants breakfast first."
"Oh, she's here too?" Tai asked uninterestedly. "Does that mean I have to wait to shower?"
As if on cue, the sound of the running water could be heard from the background. Tai groaned loudly.
"You know, it's like I have two flatmates," Tai whinged, "and I don't know which of you two are worse. At least you pay rent."
"Do you want breakfast too? I'll make you some," Matt offered as a peace offering.
Tai seemed happy with that, so the two of them went into the kitchen together. Tai pulled out one of those protein powders that Matt thought was a waste of money.
"I'd offer you some, but you never work out, so you'll just gain fat instead of muscle," Tai explained, which he had no need to do as he had already informed him of this countless times.
For some reason, Tai always felt the need to point out how much more in shape he was in comparison. Matt had never been too bothered by it, save the one time Megumi had made a comment in Tai's favour. That almost inspired him to start working out, though the physical commitment made him give up immediately.
Knowing Tai was trying to get on his nerves, he ignored him and opened the refrigerator. "What do you want?"
"A gourmet continental breakfast, please."
Tai was so annoying. He didn't know why Tai enjoyed bothering him so much. He was the kind of sadistic person who enjoyed getting under his skin just because he knew how.
Matt decided to ignore him again and started pulling out the contents of the fridge. He got to work on breakfast, while Tai sat at the table, reading the morning news. They did this often where they were in each other's presence but didn't talk to each other. It wasn't weird to them, but Mimi had pointed out it was weird to her, so he had grown more conscious of it.
"Mimi and I are thinking about going to Hakone today."
Tai lifted an eyebrow. "Why?"
"Why not?"
Tai shrugged and looked back at the news.
"Are you going to your parents'?" Matt asked him, attempting again.
Tai looked up again, genuinely confused as to why his flatmate was talking to him. If ever one felt like talking, it was most certainly always Tai.
"I am," he answered.
"Oh."
Deciding it was weirder making small talk, he focused on his omelette, while Tai continued to read, giving Matt headline updates every so often. Despite coming from a family of journalists, Matt rarely read the news himself, so all of the world news he received was either from Megumi or Tai. According to this morning's paper, it seemed to him the world was ending.
Once he finished with breakfast, he threw a plate of food to Tai, who muttered a thank you and started scarfing it down, eyes still glued to his phone. He had always found it unsettling how much Tai could eat, as if he were always at the point of starvation by the time he was ready for a meal. Matt, not wanting to be near that, stood at the counter, nibbling on leftover egg bits while he waited for Mimi.
"You guys are so weird. Why are you two in the same room not talking to each other?" Mimi asked when she finally came out of the bathroom.
"My first choice was to shower, but it was taken," Tai said darkly. He pretended not to notice that she was just wrapped in a towel—his towel.
Matt noticed, and he gave her a pointed look, which she either didn't see or chose to ignore.
"I heard from Sora you're introducing her to your parents today," Mimi said, changing the subject.
"Yes," Tai answered curtly. "I'm going to shower, now that Her Highness has finished. Matt, I'm using your towel. My other one is dirty."
Mimi looked mortified. "Ew, you only have two towels?!"
Tai walked away, leaving his empty plate on the table. Matt went to pick it up and put it in the sink, waiting until Tai was out of earshot to speak.
"Sorry," he apologised for Tai. "I don't know why he's being so annoying today."
Mimi shrugged it off. "He's always annoying. I'll give him a pass because he's probably just nervous that Sora's meeting his parents."
"I didn't know he was going to his parents' with Sora," Matt said, watching as she peeked to see what was for breakfast, he more interested in her lack of clothes. "I've told you the navy towels are mine."
She turned to him, smiling. "I like his better because they're softer than yours. You should really upgrade to Turkish cotton. It's divine." He pulled her towards her. "Plus, he's just really easy to tease. It's hilarious. He always picks on you, so I feel like it's okay that I pick on him."
"My knight in shining armour." He pressed his lips to her neck. "Er, so are you actually hungry, or…?"
"Yes, I'm hungry!" she said, pushing herself off of him.
"Let's eat later," he suggested, pulling her back to him.
"It's going to get cold!"
"It's been cold. You were in the shower forever."
"You're just saying that because you already ate."
"I didn't," he said, trailing kisses along her collarbone. "I waited for you."
She giggled as he kissed her shoulder. "Okay, fine, but we're going to hit weekend traffic."
"I'll get over it."
She led him back to his room, depositing her towel by Tai's door along the way.
They ended up leaving in the afternoon after eating reheated omelettes.
Tai was still in the flat by the time they were set to leave, and he didn't seem agitated anymore. He came out of his room as they walked past his door, Matt expecting him to tear him a new one for the whole towel incident that Tai would usually not care about.
Instead, he asked Mimi to check what he was wearing. Apparently, Sora told him to dress better just to see his parents, but he wasn't sure what she wanted him to wear.
It was the first time in Matt's life that Tai seemed to care about his appearance. Mimi, eagerly distracted, forced herself into his room, scolded him on the lack of cleanliness, and proceeded to dissect his entire wardrobe. By the time they left, she had made a fresh pile of clothes on his floor that she demanded he bin immediately.
Tai must have actually been nervous because he didn't seem bothered by that. He even thanked her.
"It's so cute how nervous he is," Mimi commented as they were putting their luggage in his car.
"Can you not call him cute?"
"Aw, it's so cute how jealous you are," she commented, pinching his cheek.
He couldn't believe his cheek had been pinched, but he didn't say anything about it. "I do think it's weird that he's acting that way. I've met his parents a few times. They're as laidback as he is."
"Tai is not laidback," Mimi retorted. "Also, his fashion sense is really disturbing. I can't believe Sora hasn't fixed that yet. I need to text her to take him shopping immediately. If I were her, I would have broken up with him over that."
"Can we not talk about Tai?" he asked, opening the passenger door for her.
She laughed, getting in. "Are you actually jealous? I can't tell."
He waited until he was in the car to answer. "No, I'm not jealous. I just don't want to talk about Tai."
"Okay," she said teasingly. "What do you want to talk about?"
"Directions."
She pouted, pulling out her phone. "You're no fun."
Mimi couldn't drive, so he put her in charge of directions, but he quickly found out she wasn't very good at those either.
"Just put it on navigation mode, and it'll tell us for you," he suggested.
She did so, then leaned back in her seat to stretch. "As soon as we get there, I'm making a beeline for the onsen."
"I'm fine with that."
"Or should we go to a shrine first?" she asked excitedly. "We've never gone together."
He shrugged. "I'm fine with that too."
"When was the last time you went to a shrine?"
"I don't really go to those."
She gasped. "Have you gone this year?"
"No."
She gasped louder, surprising him and making him swerve slightly. "Jesus, Mimi, I'm driving!"
She paid him no mind. "We need to go immediately! How have you not gone all year?"
"It's only April."
"What about your charms?!"
"I don't believe in those."
She gasped again. "Remember when I said I'd break up with Tai for his lack of fashion sense? I'm about to break up with you for this!"
She began to lecture him over the importance of spirituality. Matt considered himself neither religious nor spiritual, and it was true he hadn't visited a shrine this year.
That being said, he left out the detail of the many visits he made after Megumi left him the year prior. It was stupid when he thought back to it. He didn't believe in any of it.
"Well, I'm very spiritual, so we need to go now. I'm not going to have a boyfriend who hasn't paid his respects! It's probably bad luck for me."
"I don't think that's how it works."
She had none of it. After a quick online search, she found what she deemed the perfect shrine for them to visit, a shrine dedicated to love.
She explained each ritual to him, despite him telling her that just because he didn't believe in it didn't mean he didn't already know how everything worked. He cleansed his hands and stood in line with the other couples, waiting for their turn.
"Do you have fifty yen?"
He dug in his pockets and found two. Evidently, he didn't know everything, because she told him it was much luckier to offer fifty yen over five, which is what he always gave whenever he was dragged to one of these.
When it approached their turn, he rang the bell and threw the coin in, Mimi nudging him to say a prayer. Ever since he was young, he'd just close his eyes and think nothing whenever he had to pray, and he found he still did the same now. He lifted one eye, watching Mimi mouth words he couldn't quite catch.
"I prayed for us to be happy," Mimi told him when they were done.
Next, she forced him to buy a fortune and a love charm, a small blue pouch made of washi.
"Remember never to open the charm," she warned him, as she fastened her matching pink one to her keys, "otherwise, it won't work."
He promised he wouldn't and pocketed it, but that made her scold him because the washi was delicate. She attached it to his car keys instead so they could match there too.
She then read their fortunes and frowned when they weren't any good. It put her in a bad mood, so he offered to attach them to a pine tree for her.
"It's just a random piece of paper," he pointed out.
"Well, I believe in it. I don't want bad luck!"
She forgot about it after he suggested eating. After a few bites of street food for lunch, they were back in the car.
"We're never getting there at this rate," Mimi complained.
"You're the one who wanted to stop at a shrine," he reminded her.
She glared at him. "You're the one who couldn't keep it in his pants."
He couldn't disagree to that.
With more traffic than expected, they arrived to Hakone in two hours, just as the sun was about to set. As Mimi wanted, they headed straight to the outdoor onsen, he watching her while she was looking straight at the sky.
"Stargaze with me, Matt."
He leaned back and looked at the dim sky that was not yet dark enough for stars. He wondered what she was actually looking at.
She sat up and positioned her head to be above his, blocking his view as she looked down at him. "Tell me a secret."
"What kind of secret?"
"A secret nobody else knows about you."
"A secret nobody else knows about me…" he repeated slowly, trying to think.
Megumi knew everything about him from the first 27 years of his life, and between Tai, TK, and Mimi, they knew the remainder.
Everyone commented that he kept to himself too much, but he didn't actually think this was so. He wasn't as closed off as people thought he was; it was just that he disclosed information to only a few select people.
"Fine, we can ask each other questions instead," she rephrased, seeing that he was struggling. "You have to answer honestly though, no matter how much you don't want to admit it."
"All right…"
"You go first."
He wasn't prepared for this either. He tried to think of something he was curious about, watching Mimi stare back down at him, seemingly eager for her own turn. He said the first thing that came to his mind. "Have you ever gone through an awkward stage?"
She didn't even think about it.
"No, I've always been pretty."
He laughed loudly.
"Have you?"
"I'm not answering that."
"You have to!" she squealed. "You know, it's not a terrible thing to admit you're attractive. People who are smart know they're smart. People who are attractive know they're attractive! Surely, you know you're good-looking."
"Okay, fine. I didn't either."
She giggled. "See? We're meant for each other." Her smile quickly faded. "It's my turn."
"All right."
She had seemed so ready that he was surprised she actually seemed to be skirmish, waiting an extra second to ask him.
"Do you actually hate being called Yamato because you don't like the name?"
He forgot to control his expression.
"It's been bothering me," she admitted. "You became so angry that time. I won't judge you. I just need to know. Is it really that?"
He considered lying, but it seemed wrong. They had just gone on their first trip, stopped at some stupid love shrine, wasted money on slips of paper that were supposed to bind them for the rest of the year…
"No," he admitted quietly. "I don't mind the name." He looked at her, and he got the feeling she already knew. "My ex-girlfriend called me Yamato. I don't like it when you call me that because it reminds me of her."
She nodded slowly, then sank down next to him as if taking it in.
"It's not because I want her over you," he clarified, turning to face her. "I just don't want to remember her. I don't want to think about her, but it's hard. I was with her for—" He remembered he had never disclosed it. "—a really long time."
"How long?"
"A long time."
"How long, Matt?"
He didn't know why he felt so guilty to admit it.
"Thirteen years."
She stared at him. "You were with her for half of your life?"
"Yes."
She didn't say anything.
"So you see? It's impossible for me to not think of her when she's been there for every memory."
She still didn't say anything.
He felt stupid. He should have lied. He didn't know what to say to make it better.
"It's not that I like that she's been there for everything. I don't like it either, but I can't change—"
She interrupted his rambling. "I should admit something to you too. I only ever wanted to date you because Sora showed me a picture of you, and I thought you were too sexy to pass up. I was trying to get over an ex-boyfriend too, and I thought it'd be fun to have a rebound fling with someone as hot as you."
He didn't know what to say to that.
"You were just supposed to be a fling, but now I really like you. I really, really like you." After staring at him so intently, she looked down at the water suddenly. "I know I like you more than you like me."
"That isn't true."
"I know it's true."
"No, it isn't. I'm just not very expressive."
"Oh, you're very expressive," she corrected him, looking back at him with the same intensity. "Maybe you won't say anything, but I can always tell when you're happy or sad or angry. People think I'm airheaded because I like nice things, but I'm not. I'm not stupid. I notice things too."
"I never thought you were airheaded or stupid. I've never said that about you ever."
"I didn't say you think that. I said people think that."
He felt like she was accusing him of something unfairly. "Why are you bringing this up? Were you angry, and you were holding it in?"
"No, I'm not angry," she said, only answering half his question. "I just want to be the only woman you think about."
"You are."
"Do you remember how you once described your ex-girlfriend to me? The time at the party, right before you kissed me."
"No…" He could already feel his regret kicking in.
"You called her perfect."
He felt his face grow hot. He felt like he was being interrogated.
"I'll never forget it because I remember thinking at the time that this beautiful man was already taken, and I was going against some perfect being who had stolen your heart. I just kissed you back because I was single too, and I wanted to have fun."
"She isn't perfect. I just thought she was, but being with you makes me notice all of her imperfections."
"You want to know something funny? You've never once mentioned her name to me, but I know what it is. You say it in your sleep sometimes. Megumi, right?"
"Why are you doing this?" he finally asked her, cracking. "What do you trying to achieve?"
She stood up slightly, swinging a leg over him and kissing him with a passion that rivalled that morning.
"I want you to only want me. I don't want to share you with anyone, least of all with her. Tell me you love me more than you ever loved her, Matt. That's what I want."
It was a moment he dreaded, not because he was nervous whether they'd like her, because he knew they would. It was because he knew they would love her.
"Why is that a bad thing?" Sora asked when he told her this.
"Because they're going to smother you," he warned her as they boarded the first of two trains to Odaiba. "And then they'll smother me. They'll ask me about you literally every day. To be clear, when I say 'they,' I mean my mum. My dad's cool."
Sora, never one to really be vain, checked her reflection on the metro window. "Do I look okay?"
"You look fine."
"Fine?" she repeated warningly.
"You look stunning."
She opened her mouth to say something in anger, but he spoke first.
"Remember, I'm introducing you to them on the basis that you can't pick fights with me."
"Don't forget to tell me about your ex-girlfriends you've cheated on, and I won't have to."
"I knew you weren't over it," he muttered. "We can turn around."
Evidently, he finally allowing her to meet his parents outweighed their most recent fight. She reached out and locked her hand with his.
"I'm so nervous."
"Don't be nervous."
"What if they don't like me?"
"They will."
"What if they think I'm not good enough for you?"
"They won't."
"Tai, I need you to be more sensitive. I've been losing sleep over this."
He grinned at her. "My parents are chill, and all my mum wants from me is a girlfriend, so you could be a complete ogre and she'd still be thrilled I'm bringing anyone home."
She glared at him. "Again, I need you to be more sensitive."
"But you're actually perfect, so—" He laughed as she rammed her fist on his arm. "Sora, remember when we went to Kyoto, and you were freaking out—"
"I wasn't freaking out."
"—then everything worked out perfectly? It's going to be just like that. Besides, Kari said she'd go, so if anything goes wrong you'll have her to fall back on."
Sora's eyes brightened. "That's right! She told me! I can't wait to see her baby in real life! She's shown me so many pictures of him."
He raised an eyebrow.
"What?"
"How often do you guys text each other?" he asked out of curiosity.
"I don't know. I guess every few days or so. Why? Does that bother you?"
"Why would that bother me? It's just that I don't even talk to her that often." He frowned. "Why doesn't she send me pictures of her baby? I'm blood-related."
"Maybe be a better big brother."
"For your information, I'm an exemplary big brother."
"I suppose you have to be the exemplary something because you certainly aren't the exemplary boyfriend."
"You're actually hurting my feelings."
She was trying not to smile and failing, and he snuck in a kiss, which he knew she hated. He didn't expect her to be over their last fight, but the backhanded comments were actually progress. At least she was talking to him freely. The days after they had "made up" had been awkward to say the least. They were no longer fighting but cautious around each other, which he felt was almost worse. In an attempt to salvage it, he had suggested dinner with his parents, which worked like a charm.
Although they could have easily gotten to Odaiba with one train, for Sora's sake Tai decided to take the longer, more expensive way. Why?
"Sit here," Tai instructed after they boarded their transfer line. He pointed to the front seat. "You'll get a view."
She sat down where she was told, looking up at Tai, who was standing beside her. "How thoughtful of you."
"I've never bothered to make sure anyone's gotten the best view of my hometown before," he said as if he had achieved an amazing feat. "Do you see what I do for you?"
Indeed, by the time the Rainbow Bridge came into view with Odaiba in the backdrop, Sora was ogling, and he was proud he was at least able to show her that much. He wanted to show Sora the actual area, but his family was eagerly and impatiently waiting for them, so they headed straight from the station to his childhood home.
He had barely rang the doorbell when the door flew open, his mother beaming at them—or, rather, at Sora.
"You must be Sora!" she exclaimed, her eyes unashamedly scanning his girlfriend. "I have heard just the most wonderful things about you from Tai and Kari. Please, do come in!"
"I'm here too, Mum."
His mother smiled at him in acknowledgement but immediately turned back to Sora, who was being greeted by his other family members. His father stood up from his spot to give an obligatory handshake, attempting to act much more interested than he was. Tai knew he had inherited his general indifference from him.
TK and Kari, who were sitting on the floor by a little crib, also greeted Sora with familiarity. Even before they had started getting up, Sora squealed and knelt beside them, peering into the crib to look at their baby.
"Little Kouki," Sora cooed, rocking the chair so gently it hardly moved. "Kari, he's even more precious in life than he is in pictures!"
Tai leaned forward to look at the baby.
It wasn't that Tai disliked his nephew—far from it. He had his whole life enjoyed children and playing with them, but knowing that this one was his sister's baby made him much more cautious. He was too fragile, like glass. What if he dropped him?
"Hey," Tai said to the baby.
Kouki was awake but still, staring back at him with clear blue eyes that glistened with the curiosity of a newborn. He wasn't blinking. Tai shut his eyes hard and opened them again as wide as he could, exaggerating his blinking in hopes that his nephew would follow suit.
Kouki's expression remained unchanged, staring blankly at him.
"He's our pride and joy," his mother commented.
"Like I used to be," he joked just to bother her. He stood back up. "When are we eating?"
His mother ignored his question, staring at Sora instead. "You know, Tai hasn't brought a girl home since he was a schoolboy. You must be so special."
"Mum."
"Well, isn't she?" his mother demanded.
He rarely got embarrassed but felt the feeling creep in because he had no answer that wouldn't cause an unwanted reaction.
Kari giggled. "I've never seen you look so shy."
TK also chuckled beside her.
"I'm not shy," Tai snapped. He cleared his throat and tried to sound confident. "Of course she is."
Kari giggled again, to his annoyance. "You two are cute."
"I'm your older brother," he reminded her.
"I can still think you're cute."
"They are your seniors when it comes to relationships," his father pointed out. "You could learn a thing or two from her."
His sister was such a daddy's girl.
"Sora, please make yourself comfortable," his mother suddenly exclaimed, motioning for the couch. "We'll have dinner set up in a minute, and then we want to hear all about you! You must be starving. Tai, help me set the table."
"I can help," Sora offered immediately.
"No, no! Please, sit down. You're our guest!" His mother grabbed his arm and pulled him away into the kitchen. She lowered her voice. "Tai, she seems just lovely. I'm so pleased you brought her over."
"Good." He saw the piles of food on the counters and picked up two of what looked heaviest.
He had to admit, although cooking wasn't one of his mother's strengths, he appreciated that she always tried and had been doing so his entire life.
She beamed. "It makes me think you've finally grown up. I worry about you all the time, you know."
"Oh, believe me. I know. As challenging as it may seem, between your calls, texts, emails, and using Kari as a messenger, I have caught on."
Despite he being a smart-ass, she looked at him lovingly as if she hadn't seen him in a million years. He was balancing two platters of food, but his mother suddenly reached out, running her hands over his shirt to smooth the edges, complaining he hadn't ironed it.
"Mum, can you do that after I put this down?" he muttered as she did the same with his hair. She only treated him like a child when she was feeling emotional.
"Yes, of course," she said, though she continued moving pieces of his hair around. "I'm just so happy you're finally settling down."
"Mum, just try not to overwhelm her by saying things like that, okay?" He took a step back to force her to stop primping him. "Let me put these down first."
He walked out of the kitchen and saw Sora back on the floor by Kouki's crib, though she was actually talking to his father.
"Do you want help?" Sora asked him when she caught sight of him.
"No, no," he answered swiftly, setting down the plates. "I've got this."
She had already walked up to him and arranged the plates to be in the centre.
"Let me help you."
"Mum'll kill me if I put you to work." He gave her a light push back in the direction of the living room.
He went back and forth from the kitchen several times to set the table, and despite his protests, Sora always met him to arrange the food.
As expected, the moment his mother saw, she reprimanded him for being inhospitable and demanded Sora to rest, which finally did make her stop, though she sat edgily, as if the thought of being served was the rudest thing on the planet.
Once plates had been moved and his mother was back in the kitchen for god-knows-what, he sat beside Sora and squeezed her knee.
"Stop being nervous," he said, lowering his voice so the rest of his family members couldn't hear him. "My family is nice."
"I'm nervous," was her only reply.
He leaned forward and kissed her. She pushed him away, hissing at him as if he had done something illegal. "Tai! Your parents are right there!"
"Pretty sure my parents assume you and I kiss," he responded without whispering.
She was glaring, so he got up to help his mother again. Just to bother her, he kissed the top of her head too. She hit his leg.
"Stop being nervous," he repeated.
But she was still nervous, and she remained so even as the family gathered for dinner. It was a far cry from her usual self.
His mother made sure everyone had large portions, including his sister, who barely ate. He watched as Sora took a bite of his mother's meal, impressed when her facial expression showed no sign of repulsion.
"So, Sora," his mother started, "tell us about yourself. Tell us your story."
He listened as Sora gave her spiel that she had practiced in front of him a thousand times. Although she couldn't deny that he had made a good impression on her parents, she had still made it clear that she hadn't liked his style of introducing himself. He watched her as if that'd encourage her, though he'd find out later that he had made her even more anxious.
"I'm so happy Tai has found such a lovely woman," his mother concluded happily, beaming at Sora.
"If there's anything you want to know about Tai, you can ask us," his father added with a mischievous grin. "We have everything on him."
"That's what you think," Tai shot back. "I'm not afraid."
"Tai, that's no way to talk to your father," his mother said sternly while simultaneously shooting her husband a look for encouraging their son's behaviour. She then looked apologetically at Sora. "You might be able to tell Tai takes after his father. It has been a source of my headaches for 28 years."
"I'm 27," Tai corrected.
"I'm counting the nine months of hardships you put me through too, mister." She looked to Sora to explain what Tai had heard a million times. "Tai put me through so much morning sickness I thought I wasn't going to make it. I prepared for the worst with Kari, but she was such an easy pregnancy compared to him."
"Yeah, yeah. My little baby sister is perfect, and I was the bane of your existence. I know, Mum." He laughed as he avoided her smacking him with her napkin for his word choice. Sora giggled too, though she hit his arm for his mother.
He looked at his sister, who was quiet as usual. It seemed she only spoke when asked to do so. "Are you guys getting enough sleep, or are the rumours of parenthood true?"
"He's very quiet and well-behaved," Kari answered. She looked at her husband with a small smile. "I was scared he'd be a crybaby like TK was."
"You're never going to let me live that down," TK said with a laugh. "I wasn't that bad. And I was young."
"You were bad. And you were eight."
"She's exaggerating," TK explained to Sora, attempting to save face. "In any case, I agree that Kouki being like you makes things easier."
"Maybe the next one will be more like you," his mother suggested, patting TK's arm. "I think it would be nice to have two children close in age, don't you agree?"
TK offered a nervous laugh in response.
"Mum. Honestly. Stop," Tai provided as aid. "You're making everyone uncomfortable."
"Well, when are you planning on giving me grandchildren?"
He looked at Sora, unable to pass up the opportunity for her sake. "Not sure at the moment. Sora, what do you think?"
She glared at him with a look so insidious that he almost expected her to yell at him in front of his parents.
"Sorry," he mumbled quickly. He cleared his throat, avoiding eye contact with her. "Dessert anyone? I'll get it."
"Look at you, son," his father teased as he stood up. "You never offer to help with anything that doesn't directly affect you."
"That's not true," Tai retorted.
"Don't be fooled," his father whispered to Sora. "He's usually not this helpful."
"Dad, if you're the reason Sora breaks up with me today, I'll never forgive you," Tai said as he walked into the kitchen. He looked around the counters and opened the refrigerator. "Mum, where's the dessert?"
Rather than answer, she walked in, then pulled him aside to the far side of the kitchen.
"Tai."
"Yes?"
"I love Sora," she whispered excitedly, eyes growing wider as she clutched his arm in desperation. "She seems to be perfect wife material. Are you going to marry her?"
"Please don't overwhelm her by saying that in front of her," Tai said darkly.
"That's why I'm asking you here," his mother explained. "She keeps playing with the baby too. She'll make a fine mother."
"You're overwhelming me too," he said hurriedly. "I'm not thinking about marriage yet, Mum. I'm certainly not thinking about kids."
"Your sister—"
"That's a terrible comparison, and you know it," he interrupted, even though he knew it was rude to do so. "Mum, I'm begging you. I know you're excited for me, but can we please take things one at a time?"
The look on her saddened face stopped him from blurting that he was afraid his mother falling in love with Sora would scare him into falling out of commitment.
"You aren't getting younger, Tai."
"I'm in my twenties," Tai reminded her. "I'm still young. You can nag at me in my thirties."
She reached up to him, unnecessarily smoothing down the non-existent lines of his shirt again, and he instantly felt bad.
He couldn't blame her too much. His sister had gotten extraordinarily lucky with love, but surely his mother must have known his sister had lived out some fairy tale story that most people didn't experience.
As a mother, she just wanted the same happiness for him, but he wasn't his sister or his brother-in law. He would never say this aloud, but he found them both impossible to relate to. What they saw as happiness, he saw as an impediment of life.
"Are you guys all right?" Sora's voice cut through, and he looked up to see she had walked in. He was suddenly embarrassed that his mother was still fussing over him. "I thought you might need some help."
"Oops, sorry," his mother exclaimed. "I was keeping him. The dessert is here, Tai."
She opened the oven, which he hadn't checked. She had made a strawberry cake, one of the few things she made that he actually enjoyed ingesting, but he was nervous whether Sora would like it.
"Mum," he nagged when they had gone back to the table and his mother had offered her an enormous slice. "Most people can't eat that much." He turned to Sora. "If you can't eat it, I can eat both."
"As impressive as your voracious appetite is, I also want dessert," she quipped.
"Can you imagine raising him?" his mother offered.
The two of them laughed, and he wondered how many more jokes would be offered at his expense. He didn't really mind, since it was much better than them not getting along.
Kouki began crying, and both parents immediately went to the dim living room to check on him, though Kari was first to come back.
"Nappy change," she explained as she sat back down.
Tai stretched his neck out to see TK. It wasn't that he necessarily wanted to watch, but it was kind of intriguing to see TK, a kid he always saw as a younger brother, changing nappies.
"Looks difficult," Tai called out to him.
TK looked up and gave him an easy smile. "I get the easy part."
Tai could feel the hearts forming in his mother's eyes. He was definitely going to get an earful later. He knew it was petty, but lately his mother seemed to either be talking about how proud she was of Kari or how great TK was. He knew it was childish that he missed when his mother would brag about him instead.
Kari checked her watch. "It's his bedtime soon. We should leave before he gets cranky."
"Already?"
Their mother pouted, and even his father looked disappointed.
"Such proud grandparents," Kari teased. "Don't worry. We'll visit again tomorrow."
"If you guys are leaving, I guess we'll head back too," Tai said, looking at Sora for clues to see if she was tired. He couldn't tell.
"Nonsense!" his mother exclaimed. "You and Sora should spend the night here."
"No, thank you," Tai rejected immediately.
"It's a Saturday. Surely you don't have plans tomorrow more important than your mother."
"Mum, we—" He winced, seeing the hurt look on his mother's face. She never used to be like this, but with age he felt she missed him more. He looked at Sora. "What do you think?"
Sora was controlling her expression, so he couldn't tell what she thought.
"Sora, you must stay," his mother insisted, taking her by the hands. "We just met you, and you're the loveliest girl. Of course you can sleep in Tai's bedroom with him—"
"Please don't try to be a cool mum right now," Tai cut in. "It's a nice offer, but I think it's best if we go home. We'll visit again soon, Mum. I promise."
His mother looked devastated, which made him feel bad, which probably made Sora feel bad, as she eventually did agree.
Satisfied at her success in guilt-tripping her son, she turned to her daughter. She managed to get an extra thirty minutes of fruit eating in before Kari insisted that Kouki needed to be put to bed. They headed for the door, TK lugging most of the luggage while his mother inspected every inch of Kari to ensure she was okay.
With Kari gone, she turned back to him and Sora again, then proceeded in another round of twenty questions with a thinly veiled motive to get her to marry him.
Although it wasn't really a fight, they had makeup sex and dinner in the room, followed by another fervent lovemaking session. He was sleepy, but she wanted to stargaze now that it was darker, insisting they had to do it now because such sweeping views of the stars didn't exist under the bright lights of Tokyo. She dragged him out of the room and back outdoors, leading him down to the onsen.
She was making up constellations when he interrupted her, wondering if it was the right time.
"I thought of something I've never told anyone."
"Oh?" She leaned against him, then looked at him with her doe eyes that glimmered with anticipation. "What is it?"
"Have I ever told you I never want to get married?"
"No, but you're raising a red flag," she joked lightheartedly. "I want a giant princess wedding."
His face maintained its solemnity. "I'm serious. I'm never getting married."
Her smile faded. Although she wasn't saying anything, he knew she didn't like it. She probably thought she could change him, but she never could. Even Megumi hadn't.
Still, he didn't like that she seemed so earnest, so he smiled at her, which made her smile too. He really liked that it was all it ever took to get her to smile back at him.
"That isn't the secret," he clarified now that she looked happier. "What it actually is is that I've also always said I don't want to have any children, but lately I've been thinking it wouldn't be the end of the world if I did."
"Oh?"
"It's because of my nephew," Matt admitted. "He's… cute, and he's interesting. In some ways, he looks so much like my brother, and in other ways he looks like my sister-in-law. It makes me wonder what my kid will be like if I ever have one. I've never really liked children, but I suppose I'd love my own."
"Show me a picture of him."
His phone was back in the room.
"I'll show you later," he promised. "Or, even better, we should pay him a visit."
She looked delighted at the prospect. "Really?"
"Of course."
She squealed, the sound ringing through the quiet serenity that was the ryokan's ambience. "Eek, finally! I've only been waiting a million years for you to invite me! You know, I was starting to get nervous because here are Tai and Sora meeting each other's families, but I've only ever met your brother once–and it was on accident! Do you know I still have all of my baby gifts sitting in my flat?"
He laughed at her outburst. "I didn't realise you were looking so forward to it."
"Of course I've been looking forward to it! Oh, oops!" She lowered her voice, realising she was being too loud. "I can't wait to meet TK's wife and son! Does the baby look like you at all?"
Matt tried to think. "No, not really."
"That's too bad. He could grow up to be as cute as you." She rested her head on his shoulder and sighed contently. "What do you think our children will look like?"
"That's an intense question."
"It's just a hypothetical one."
He felt like he should be alarmed but strangely found that he wasn't. "All right. Well, first of all, they'll hopefully have your personality."
She giggled and reached up to kiss him, satisfied with his answer. "I will admit my personality is way more fun than yours. They can have your height though. I'm too short."
He smiled too. "You aren't that short."
"I'm pretty short. I just have good proportions." She stuck her leg out of the water so he could see. "See? Long legs, but I'm tiny. Your legs are long too, so our children will get lucky in that department."
He kissed her leg.
"And don't forget our kids will be beautiful with no awkward phases," she reminded him.
He laughed, then swirled the water around them.
"I'm getting dizzy from the hot water," he told her. "I think I'm going to go inside."
"I'm going to stay." She sunk deeper into the water. "I want to keep stargazing."
He went inside first, watching her from their futon as she stared straight at the sky. He didn't know what she found so interesting about looking off into nothing. When she finally got up from the onsen, his eyes traced her naked silhouette as pat herself dry, slipping into her yukata again before coming back inside to him.
His parents fell asleep much earlier than he did, so he took Sora to the beach, stopping for beers along the way. He sat on the sand, urging her to join him even though she was nervous to soil her only clothes.
"You can sit on my lap," he offered, half-jokingly.
That made her sit on the sand. He stared off at the brightly lit bridge, though he could see her looking at him through the corner of his eye.
"What?" he asked, still staring ahead.
To his surprise, she put her arms around his shoulders and leaned up to him, nuzzling her head against his neck. He wanted to point out that people could see, but he knew she was already aware, and he didn't want to break the rare moment of public affection.
"I'm sorry I got so angry about your boss and your ex-girlfriend," she started, still in the same position.
He tried to look at her face, though she wasn't showing it to him.
"Don't be sorry," he mumbled awkwardly. "I'm the one who should be sorry. And I am."
Even though he couldn't see, he could feel her lips turn to a smile against his skin. "I know you are. You hit home too… when you said that thing about my ex-boyfriend."
"I forgot what I said."
"You said I wasn't over my ex-boyfriend cheating on me."
"Oh." He tried not to look like he cared, though he knew he was having little success. "And that hit home? Are you trying to tell me you aren't over him?"
She must have felt his body tighten, so she gently stroked his chest, and he relaxed.
"No, that's not it. Believe me, I wouldn't forgive him even if he came to me on his knees, which he'd never do. I guess I'm just a little traumatised." He could now feel her scowling. "You think you know someone for years, and it turns out everything was a lie." She finally looked up at him. He fixed his facial expression. "Are you jealous?"
"Kind of," he answered honestly. "No, I'm not. I'm not jealous. I just don't want to talk about him." He cleared his throat, though he fumbled over the next few words anyway. "I'm not him, you know."
She was staring at him, and he felt awkward, as if he were being analysed.
"You're nothing like him," she confirmed. "You're way better looking."
"You said that last time."
"Well, you are."
"I am handsome," he agreed, nudging her when she rolled her eyes, "but can't you say something else? Like I'm nicer or more accomplished or something?"
She smiled slightly. "I thought you didn't want to talk about him."
"I don't want to talk about him. I want to talk about me. I want to hear my girlfriend say nice things about me. Is that so bad?"
She laughed and pecked him, but he noticed she didn't actually give him anything. They sat in silence, Sora finally breaking it.
"Don't you think we fight too much?"
Tai shrugged. "I think we're both hot-headed."
"I'm not hot-headed," Sora refuted, hitting his shoulder when he raised an eyebrow at her. "I'm not!"
"All right. You're not," he said for the sake of agreeing. "Maybe we should keep track of who starts a fight, and each time we have to put in 100 yen. At the end of the year, we can pool the money and get a nice dinner or something. Between the two of us, I reckon we'll be able to have a kobe beef dinner at the Park Hyatt, right?"
She hit him again. "You aren't funny!"
He pulled her chin to him to kiss her. Being a weekend, there were plenty of people, but even Sora didn't seem to mind, kissing him back.
She pulled away suddenly.
"You know, I still can't believe I really was the first girl you've ever taken home with you," she said, looking pleased. "I had assumed you were lying."
"Believe it or not, I don't always lie. I told you I never date."
"I can tell you have no experience," she agreed, smirking.
"Kiss me," he said, leaning to her again. She leaned back to stop him.
"I really appreciate that you introduced me, Tai."
"It's no problem. I told you. They love you." He leaned in again. She leaned back again.
"My ex-boyfriend's family hated me. They thought I wasn't good enough for their son, so that's why I was so nervous."
"I don't want to talk about your stupid ex-boyfriend."
She laughed. "Fine. What do you want to talk about?"
"I don't really want to talk."
He kissed her once, but she stood up, reaching out her arms to pull him up. "Let's go back. I'm tired."
He groaned but took her hands, pretending he needed them to hoist himself up. "Tell me, was your ex-boyfriend as patient as me?"
"Give me a tour of Odaiba tomorrow since I gave you a tour of Kyoto."
He sighed loudly to let her know he had noticed she didn't answer him, but he chose to drop it. "Odaiba's just a shopping district where people go on dates. There's nothing to do here."
"Well, I have always wanted to come here on a date, so that's fine. We can go shopping."
"I can hold all your bags."
"I can hold my own bags, thank you very much."
His parents' flat was only across the street from the beach, so they were home within minutes, careful to be quiet so as to not disturb his parents. After washing up, they went to their separate rooms, but he found himself unable to sleep.
He rolled in his childhood bed that was now too small for him. He played with his phone, but that got boring too, so he finally got up to sneak into Kari's room where Sora was. The light was still on, so he quietly knocked, then let himself inside.
"Whatever you're thinking, the answer is no."
He frowned. "Gross, we're in my sister's room. What kind of person do you think I am?"
"What's wrong, Tai?"
"Nothing. I just can't sleep and wanted to see if you were still awake too."
"I am," she confirmed.
He sat on the swivel chair, feeling something was inherently wrong about sitting on his sister's bed with his girlfriend.
"Look what I did," he said, taking out his phone and flashing the screen to her.
He could instantly tell how pleased she was. He had changed his phone background from a generic FC Tokyo logo he had used for years to the photo she had taken of them at the beach.
He grinned, looking at his phone proudly. "I'm doing it so when my boss is flirting with me in Hong Kong, I can pretend to look at the time, and she'll see your photo."
The happiness in her face disappeared, replaced by irritation. "That's why? I thought you were doing it to be cute."
"I'm also doing it to be cute," he added. "It's protection. She can look into your scary eyes and remember I'm a taken man."
"I do not have scary eyes."
"You do. You're scaring me with them right now."
She stopped glaring at him, which made him laugh.
When he had told her he had to go to Hong Kong, she had told him she was uncomfortable. It didn't seem to matter to her at all that he had no interest in his boss. The fact that he had once fooled around with her was reason enough for her to be nervous.
"You trust me, right?" he asked her suddenly.
She hesitated. "Yes, of course I do."
He couldn't help but feel a little hurt by the fact her answer hadn't been instant. He covered it up with a joke. "Why would I cheat on my hot girlfriend for some old hag?"
"Probably because she'll sleep with you."
He laughed even though he didn't want to. "That much is true."
She reached forward to pinch him.
"I was joking," he protested, massaging the now painful area of his arm. "Believe me, there's not even a small part of me that's thinking of that."
"I know… I'm sorry I sound so accusatory."
"It's fine."
"No, I know it isn't," she said firmly. "You just introduced me to your parents too. I'm sorry I'm doubting you. It's not that I doubt you. I'm just uncomfortable."
"I won't talk to her unless I have to," he promised. He paused. "To be fair, that'll be quite often, but I promise I won't deviate from work topics. If she tries, I'll change the topic to my wonderful girlfriend who I love so much."
She smiled a little bit. "All right."
He rolled his chair to her, kissing her lightly. "Am I keeping you up?"
She rubbed his face. "No."
"You're keeping me up."
She frowned, pushing his face away so that he rolled back to his original place. "Leave then. I'm not the one who came in here."
He laughed and got up. "Fine. I'll see you in the morning, okay?"
"Okay."
"I love you," he said before turning the knob.
He could tell she liked it.
"I love you too."
He walked back to her to kiss her good night once more, then left.
27 December 2018
Merry belated Christmas! Sorry for the long absence, and thank you as always for the reviews! I'm in Japan for the Emperor's last address and felt inspired to update. It's the end of the Heisei era, which started when I was born, so it's quite a surreal experience for me to be here for the end of it.
Note:
- Ryokan are traditional Japanese hotels, and onsen are public hot spring baths. Hakone is famous for both, and I'd highly recommend checking it out if you're ever in Japan. Oita is even better if you ever find yourself in Kyushu.