When the train pulled up to the castle I was ready to explode. The entire ride had been stiff and excruciating. People had made zero effort to mask their gossiping, and Zabini had continuously made jokes about marriage. Every time Draco ignored him or yelled at him it just threw fuel on the fire. I was pinned against the window like a chihuahua in a small handbag, a pet as Malfoy had pointed out. I hadn't said a word, just watched them take shots at each other.
When we reached the common room I wanted to turn inside out at the entry wall. Malfoy looked down at me with similar exhaustion, "Go to bed." He went in first and practically ran to his room. I did the same, skipping stairs two at a time, desperate to get out of the clothing that smelled like Narcissa and into my own bed.
I opened the door to my shared room and all of the girls looked up with judgement. Hilda instead stared at the floor. I was having trouble discerning what was going through her head.
Was she mad at me? Was she uncomfortable?
I went to my trunk and tugged out a pink cami nightgown, quickly changing out of the ridiculously expensive black clothing with the Malfoy crest on it. Pansy and the other girls sent me looks filled with questions and mockery, whispering amongst themselves. I sat on the edge of my bed feeling relaxation slowly creeping over me for the first time that day. I was so numb from everything that had already happened that I didn't really register the insults. The familiar smell of the dormitory was such a smack to my senses after being trapped in the Malfoy Manor for over a month and a half. Hilda was on her bed, her arms folded behind her head, staring at her bed canopy with intense focus. She was angry, confirmed.
"Hilda..." I began, with no real sense of where I was going with the sentence. It was more of a probe than anything.
She glanced sideways at me with a look that could turn clay to stone, "Oh, hey, how's your life going Madeleine. Anything new to report?"
I fumbled with the hem of my nightdress. "You know I 'ave a lot to say. I'm sorry..."
She looked at me with an icy glare. "No? No way!" Her sarcasm was precarious and I felt instantly exposed and helpless. Several other girls looked our way, and snickers erupted around the room.
"Can we just.. talk?" I begged in a low voice. The desperation in my tone went unconcealed. She turned over on her side away from me and I did the same, clutching at my pillows and fighting tears sliding down my face.
The first day back was severely punishing. Malfoy had made sure to wait at the base of the girl's stairs in the morning so he could escort me directly to potions class like a criminal at a jail. The Slytherin common room was filled with whispering, and the hallways were even worse where people from other houses stared without hesitation. I felt like a dog on a leash and the embarrassment was so intense that all I could bring myself to do was look at the ground utterly horrified while he tugged me around, either holding my hand or putting his arm around my neck.
Hilda had refused to speak to me since the night of my arrival back, leaving me swimming in a pool of anxiety. I needed the support of my best friend more than ever. I was chained to a maniac and I was in serious trouble if I couldn't count on anyone helping me get free.
As the days crept by I gradually began struggling to eat and sleep. Malfoy was constantly at my side like a hawk and I was withering away from the pressure and isolation, my normally glowing face had sunken - my skin was persistently puffy from crying and dark circles were brewing below my golden eyes.
Malfoy went on with his life as normal not even giving me a shred of consolation; he continued to bully younger years and laugh with his friends, marching me through the hallways with a display of authority. Harry and his Gryffindor crew consistently gawked at me in the great hall during meals, not even bothering to mask their chattering and glances. Hermione looked pallid and resentful and my remorse reached an all time high that I hadn't come clean with her in the girl's lavatory the day she confronted me about who gave me the bequeathment mark.
The breaking point was reached almost two weeks after returning to school. The Slytherin team was walking back from Quidditch, the entire group of boys save for myself was boisterous in the courtyard from the hype of winning a second consecutive game in a row. McGonagall stormed across the open space with an air of fortitude. Her appearance was stern and unforgiving, green robes billowing around her frame in the wind.
"Malfoy, you will follow me right now. Both of you," she looked between me and Draco as if unsure what to address me by. Nobody moved, the sounds of snickering and whispering from the other players drifted through the space. I focused my gaze on her pointed hat, feeling fear sinking into me. I had become quite docile from Malfoy's constant threats to involve his lethal father if I tried anything he didn't approve of. I was ghastly aware of his stance to my right and his arm slung possessively over my shoulder. I waited for his reaction to gauge what to do.
Malfoy looked antagonistic, gripping his broom tightly. His pointed features twisted into his typical sneer as he stood frozen in place.
"It is not a question," McGonagall lowered her voice and cast Malfoy a dangerous stare, "Right now, Mr. Malfoy."
He sighed heavily in aggravation and gripped my wrist tightly in his white glove, dragging me behind him. McGonagall looked perversely disturbed at the gesture as she directed us through the hallways, moving down into the dungeons. After we had been walking for almost ten minutes she lost her patience and swiveled around to look at Malfoy with an expression of distaste, "Please tell me you do not intend to drag this poor girl this entire journey. Remove your grasp at once or I will be forced to deduct house points." She gave him a warning look and he finally released my wrist. I rubbed at the bruised area without saying anything.
Eventually, we came to a halt outside of Snape's personal office. McGonagall didn't bother knocking only pushed the door open and gestured us inside. Snape was situated at his desk, a green fire was lazily burning in the corner. He looked up from parchments that he was marking with a raised eyebrow, "And to what do I owe this pleasure, Minerva?" He quipped in irritation, black eyes scanning skeptically over Malfoy and I and then back to her.
McGonagall looked uncomfortable for a moment, waving at me and Malfoy standing there in our Quidditch uniforms, "Are we not going to address this Severus? It's clearly unhealthy. Just look at her she's a pile of bones."
I felt Draco eye's shoot to my face threateningly. I stared at my Quidditch boots, my long blond hair fell down over my face pathetically. Snape didn't acknowledge him and obediently scanned my thin frame and apparent lack of vitality, pressing his mouth into a thin line, "Miss...Malfoy, as it is now, has made her decision. It is not my place to dictate family matters." His voice was slow and apathetic, and his expression was blank.
McGonagall didn't flinch; she appeared to be searching for her next words carefully, a distraught look of heartache seeping into her face, "Severus, no. This girl needs to...to have her independence back. She may be betrothed as you suggest, but I will not stand idly by and allow this level of torment and abuse to continue. Hogwarts has never supported this type of affectation."
Snape seemed bored. He looked at all three intruders to his office clearly weighing his options. The fire snapped loudly as a piece of wood gave way to the inferno, the only sound in the room besides our breathing.
Draco's curt voice suddenly breaking the void of silence caused me to snap my head up, "Professor, I see no issue with allowing Madeleine more flexibility. So long as it does not result in...disorder." He was looking down at me now with wide, cautious eyes. I nodded my head eagerly at everyone in the room, feeling alive for the first time in weeks.
"Very well..," Snape drawled without moving a muscle, his black eyes darted to Malfoy's face with indication, "You will allow her to go about her day as she did before, Draco. I don't want to have to, revisit, this topic."
The moment McGonagall dismissed us in the dungeon hallway and had disappeared around the corner Malfoy slammed me into the wall. He had pinned my back on the bricks by his arm against my throat, "Don't mistake this as a free pass. I'll be close behind you. Always." His voice was icy as his eyes darted back and forth between mine.
I grabbed at his arm in defiance, pulling at it desperately as the pressure was really quite uncomfortable and was making it difficult to respond. My golden broom clattered to the ground loudly and clusters of Slytherins heading to the common room sent concerned looks at the display, "Draco...," I choked and he pushed at me harder from the incorrect name usage, "I...I cannot live like dis. Please. What...changed?" My eyes welled up as I searched his face frantically. He had shown me kindness before, I knew it had been real. Why it had disappeared just as quickly was the biggest mystery.
He looked me over slowly, finally releasing the pressure against my throat, "My father sensed insubordination in you. He wasn't wrong, either, was he? If I don't keep you in line, he will. You'll find that he is far less...magnanimous, than I am." His expression was vacant but I noticed his mouth twitch. A sign of sadness? Fear?
I coughed, trying to clear the pain from my throat, "You are not dis person. I know it. Come back from wherever you 'ave gone to." My lip trembled and I felt a tear slide down my cheek as I held his gaze. He seemed to be thinking, and for the first time in weeks I felt like the progress we had made at the manor was returning in tiny ripples. I reached up a weak gloved hand to caress his cheek, trying to find some sort of connection, hoping he would let the brutality slip away as he had before.
He pressed his mouth firmly together, wickedness drilling into his beautiful eyes, "Predictable. You think you can just buy me over with sex all the time? I guess that would be the same behavior that got you into this situation in the first place." He pulled away and shook my hand off of his body with a snarl.
My disappointment at his reaction couldn't be greater - maybe he really was gone for good. Whatever Lucius had said to him the morning before we'd left the manor had been astringent enough to completely ruin all of Draco's emotional progress.
I acted on instinct and took the opportunity to bring my knee up as a fast as possible between his legs, causing him to topple over against the wall with a shocked yelp. I grabbed my broom from the stone floor and turned to his wincing face, "I don' 'ave to use sex. Don' flatter yourself." I spat on the ground next to him, "And if you want to stalk me around, den so be it. You 'ave lost your ability to make me your pet." And with that I was gone, furiously stomping down the corridor, ignoring the students who had stopped to watch the show, and feeling energy returning to my soul with the renewed freedom.