The Malfoy Manor loomed beyond the gates like a stone beast. I had been there before, but it felt like a fever dream to be arriving in the middle of the day, the sunshine beamed down on the bright patches of snow collecting on the balconies and roofs. The carriages were pulling up rapidly, and after Malfoy had banished the fake mustache and silenced our hysterical laughter, we sauntered towards the building slowly. Other people were moving much faster, but unfortunately my drunkenness was becoming a major problem for my gait as I struggled to walk independently, casually grabbing at perfectly squared off hedges for assistance.
"Look at her," he was saying with disdain, as he reached out for the fourth time in a two minute period of walking to steady me, "You've really outdone yourself this time, Fawley. I don't know how you're going to top this event, maybe just go straight to liver failure next time." His voice was moving in and out of my ears at different volumes as I struggled to straighten my vision.
I heard Hilda dismiss him, strolling along casually like a character straight out of the Great Gatsby, "Oh, whatever Malfoy. The girl will harden up over time. She's having a ton of fun, a word you should learn."
"You call this fun?" he said as he lost his patience and wrapped his arm permanently around my waist, tugging me hard against his side with no choice but to practically drag me. His hand was firmly planted across my stomach. I reached my arms around him misunderstanding the gesture, and hazily hugged him sideways with a stupid grin on my face. He stopped, huffing with edginess, pushing my hands down, "Madeleine, can you please pay attention? We have to make it quite a bit farther."
"Jesus Malfoy, you're completely useless," Hilda scolded him, fishing around in her purse. A group of wealthy looking adults passed by us on the long gravel pathway, shooting Malfoy dirty looks of confusion. "Here," Hilda said, holding out a glass vile of white powder, "This will wake her up right away."
Malfoy stared in disbelief, "You're a fucking drug addict. You need help." He pushed the vile away and turned back to me, trying to pry my fingers out from his undershirt. He gave up on that approach, grabbing my face with both hands so I would look up at him. I blinked as the sun seared right into my watery eyes.
"Madeleine. Listen to me. This is serious. Can you walk independently right now? Do you know where we are?" His voice was laced with growing panic as he searched my face for any indication of consciousness.
I pressed my eyes shut and stuffed my face into his chest where everything was warm and smelled good. Fuck I heard him whisper through the vibration of his ribcage on my cheek.
"Okay Malfoy, you wanna stop being so stuck up so we can get on our way?" Hilda asked, her voice shaking from the cold temperature.
"What's in it?" He growled.
"All the good stuff, wizard grade of course. Sorry, it's all I can offer right now."
There was a long pause, I felt his chest rising and falling and his heart sped up, "Is she going to be normal tonight? Could it kill her?"
Hilda laughed dreamily, "Oh she'll be fantastic. No chance she'll die, she might even be so charming that she becomes the center of attention. I had been saving it for my own nerves tonight, but clearly she needs it more than me now."
"Fine." Malfoy shuffled and I pulled my face back from the motion, blinking in the brightness as I watched a portly wizard our age lumbering down the lane backwards so he could inspect us, "How does she need to take it?"
Hilda bent down into my face with a kind grin, "Oh, Frenchness. You don't deserve this, you're already too pretty, it's unfair." She looked back at him, "she should snort it."
Malfoy looked positively enraged, "No, no chance."
"Relax, it's Felix Felicis, powdered of course. Much easier to transport and take in smaller quantities." She shrugged, sending a dirty defensive glare at another group of ogling passers by.
I felt a strong hand lift my face up and suddenly I was face to face with his pale blue eyes again. He was shaking as he pushed me back against the bush, looming over me, his leg moving between mine to steady my wavering form, "Pay attention: you need to snort this right now so we can go inside. We have to be discrete. I'm going to put it on the bridge of my nose and we're going to pretend we're kissing. You're going to snort it. We only have one chance." His frown spoke volumes to his doubt that it would actually work.
I nodded, squinting at him. Snort. Got it. No, wait what?
"Okay, don't move," his voice was papery as he shook his hair around his face to mask the action as much as possible, and quickly tapped the bottle along the bridge of his nose, his eyes crisscrossed, wide with concentration. Then he wrapped his arms around my waist and dipped his face towards mine. My heart started fluttering uncontrollably. I had almost forgot what we were doing when I felt his nose tap against mine. I snorted the fiery powder and my nose exploded like a bomb. I coughed and he pulled back, searching my face for reassurance. There was some remaining powder along his nose - it looked like he had spread sunscreen there.
My energy rocketed from zero to one hundred in the matter of a minute. I stood gracefully suddenly, pushing him off me and grabbing the hem of my dress, "Thanks, Draco." I heard myself coo at him with unusual flattery, my eyelashes literally batting. His eyes widened and his eyebrows shot up.
"You should really see your face right now," Hilda chuckled, as we both turned to walk up to the manor with confidence and poise, Draco stood glued to his spot next to the bushes. I felt like a dream, filling suddenly with egotistical arrogance; I was the most beautiful, sophisticated female there. I was perfection; the golden girl, fiancée to the Slytherin prince. I winked at Hilda and she looked incredibly pleased, "That's my Frenchie. Knock em' dead."
Inside, the dark manor was beginning to buzz. There were far more candles than when I had been there last, and clusters of large white flowers everywhere. Dozens of wealthy people were milling around in ball gowns and suits, drinking and socializing in the massive foyer. Draco caught up to us in the doorway still looking thrown off. He grabbed at my waist and I pushed him off with a direct look.
"Do-do you still need to come to my room or are you stable?" He was tripping on his words, unheard of. His eyes were scanning every part of my body in awe.
"She's fine," Hilda brushed him off, "We're going to get changed. Go...be angry, or whatever it is you're into." She ripped at my arm and I followed her without giving him a second glance.
We were weaving between snippy looking guests towards the central stair well. I desperately searched faces to see if I would recognize anyone but found no luck, "Hilda, do you even know where we are supposed to change?" I queried suspiciously, pulling back on her arm.
She smiled, "Nope. But you do. Take the lead."
I did just that, following a strong gut instinct to climb to the second level. I turned around corners until we'd reached a short hallway, where a bunch of girls were sorting through the trunks, piled in the dead end across from two double doors. Pansy was leaning against the wall with a flat expression, watching girls in front of her try to locate their luggage.
She looked up at us as we approached, "I have to say, I thought you were going to make a bed out of those hedges, Desrosiers. It was a good show. Poor Draco must be dying of embarrassment." She flashed a wicked smirk.
I ignored her and smartly jabbed my hand under two trunks, finding mine lurking mysteriously below. I located Hilda's with equal lightning speed and then we were in the massive room where girls were changing into glittering gowns, putting on makeup and styling their hair.
It was at that moment that my attitude did a complete 180 degree spin regarding the need to pack an actual ball gown. I took inventory of the gorgeous sparkly dresses of all shapes and shades and instantly wanted to kick myself for being so stubborn earlier. I would embarrass the Malfoy's if I went back down in the tea dress I was currently in. Hilda watched my face, reading my mind, "Oh, don't be ridiculous. You're not going in that. I brought you something, I knew this would happen. Come over here this corner's not taken!"
She went to the far corner and repositioned an ornate, maroon partition so it provided more privacy and dug around in her trunk, lifting out a white, glittering mass. It unfurled in front me and I realized how utterly jaw dropping it was - an A line cut tight at the waist, long lace sleeves and lace up to the neckline, it was white as snow with gold glittering down the lower part of the gown like speckles of expensive, alluring dust.
"Hilda, it is spectacular!" I gasped.
She looked at the garment nonchalantly like it was a paper bag she'd just discovered in the street, "I'd wear it myself, but to be honest it just makes me sad. It was my mother's wedding dress...she passed away last year and I can hardly stand to look at it." She held it out to me, "It's yours now."
"I cannot..." I blushed, but trailed off feeling uneasy as she shoved it into my hands.
"You can, and you will," she dictated, as she bent back down to dig out another equally stunning black dress for herself. She looked at me straight in the face as she was unzipping her clothing to change, "You recall our little conversation about that brat downstairs? We need to stay focused. He's already starting to break. Honestly I thought he was going to faint earlier when you purred at him out by the hedges."
Almost an hour later we stood inspecting ourselves at the wall which was a head to toe mirror, expansive, making the room appear twice the size. Similar to what one might find in a ballet studio. There was about a dozen girls dripping like fine wine in expensive fabrics, most of them Slytherin from the faces I could recognize.
I was acutely of the impression that I had transformed into a goddess, twirling around in the gown with egotistical confidence that normally never occurred to me. My golden eyes were dark and light simultaneously, with gold glitter sprinkled across my face, and my long loose hair was filled with tiny golden butterflies, gently pinching their wings and glinting in the light. Briefly, I thought back to the house elf's disgust with me for wearing anything but black on the Malfoy property, but tonight was completely different. He'd surely be blind before midnight.
Hilda looked on the other hand like my evil twin. She stood as though the queen of hell with the blackest dress I'd ever seen, it appeared to be absorbing any tendrils of light that passed over it. The cut and style of dress was similar, save for the fact that hers was open in the back and her skin showed provocatively low. She'd gone and twisted a black metal headpiece into the front of her straightened brown hair that resembled a crown of thorns.
"Well aren't we prepared to fight over the world?" She remarked with a sly grin and I nodded, "Let's get going. I'll need to manually retrieve champagne tonight because that little fuck threw away my flask." I lifted up my dress with both hands to avoid tripping as I followed her out.
As we approached the familiar ballroom entrance on the second floor, I was stunned to find that I felt no nervousness whatsoever. Instead I was walking with a seductive sway, feeling eyes dragging along with me as I passed by them, and relishing it. The large silver double doors with the falling leaves were both thrown open against the wall. Guests were packed at the entrance, moving slowly inside.
When we'd finally pushed through the bottle neck - Hilda stopping briefly to cuss at a drunken man who'd stepped on her long train - she demanded we go to the bar in the closest corner. I rolled my eyes, but obliged her, not intending to join in after my close call on the walkway.
She leaned over the bar to place a request with the thin, mustached man behind the counter. I faced the opposite way out into the ball watching couples lightheartedly dancing. Others were seated at the wingback chairs socializing at tables with dark green cloth. My elbows leaned gracefully on the counter behind me, my back slightly arched as I scanned for any of the hosts in the crowd. The dusty rose hues found on the wallpaper and in the ancient, drab carpets seemed slightly brighter that evening. The ceiling was shrouded by a charmed cloudy night sky. Little stars rotated around slowly like a miniature model of the galaxy. My eyes rested on the piano, which was playing itself.
"Are you out of your mind?" I heard him before I saw him. Draco pushed through the crowd with a look of heated bewilderment across his face at finding me near the liquor, reaching out to grip my shoulder, "If you think you're drinking anything else tonight then I'll personally lock you upstairs." The threat was filled with desperation, even though he'd obviously meant it to be stern. I lazily scanned his formal wear, the tuxedo and bow tie, how incredibly proper he held himself with a straight spine. He looked like an evil Ken doll.
"Draco, kindly don' grab me against my will again. I will not tolerate it," I unflinchingly slipped out of his fingers, watching his face contort, "And enough of dis panicking. 'Tis' not a cute look on you." I shot him a flirty, devilish look I had seen him send at me countless times before when intending to demean me.
His lips parted; speechless. I felt the warmth of his hand as it hovered still by my shoulder, as if he were trying to decide whether to grab me again anyways. He looked around the room suddenly appearing to be sick.
Hilda re-emerged with a massive glass of dark liquid in her gloved fingers, "Oh great, look who's here." She scanned him with fatigue, sipping slowly.
"You're in my house, don't forget it, Fawley" he seethed. All of his attention had turned to Hilda now, "Whatever this is that you gave her is worse, now she's just insolent and cocky. This won't go down well with my father." He swallowed with evident worry, pressing his lips into a thin line.
"Relax," Hilda took another sip and swiveled her head around, clearly seeking out better company, "You just can't handle a girl with a backbone, can you?" Her dark blue eyes trained on him with intent to antagonize. "Ah, I see my parents. I'll catch you two lovebirds later." And then she was gone, like black mist in the crowd.
I reached out my hand to Draco who looked like he was about to start sweating from a cesspool of conflicting emotions; anger, fear, disgust. The lump in his throat was bobbing as he scanned the room fearfully, swallowing and pulling at his collar. I wrapped my arm through his arm and gave him a soft smile, "See? Not so 'ard to let me come to you." He looked down at where my fingers were now gripping his suit and relaxed a little.
I watched his breathing level slightly now that Hilda had dissipated from our proximity and I was not being so evasive. He truly hated the manor, he seemed on edge as if any moment he would be slapped across the face. A completely different boy seemed to emerge at the Malfoy property than the one I knew at Hogwarts; one filled with terror and vulnerability.
The grand piano played deep, lulling classical music in the corner. The room was still darker than it needed to be, although most of the guests looked quite content with the moody atmosphere. Men with long tail coats and white gloves puffed cigars which only added a smoky element to the twilight of the room. Women stood gracefully and restrained their movements to small gestures. It felt like we had time travelled onto the titanic, and I wondered when it would all start to sink.
His eyes locked on something across the floor and his body grew quite rigid. He was suddenly slipping his arm upwards to entwine his fingers through mine, pulling our arms straight down together, leaning to whisper in my ear, "Follow me." He tugged me unapologetically, dividing people as he went with short taps on their shoulders. I gripped his warm hand like it was a lifeline as he moved rather rapidly through the ballroom. Guests gossiped openly at us as we passed through them, their eyes mainly glued to me.
Up ahead the density of the crowd subdued, providing view of a group of familiar, gaunt people next to a shiny suit of armor: the Malfoy's, accompanied by multiple other guests, including Astoria who was watching beadily as we closed the gap. Lucius Malfoy was eyeing me down like candy as we approached, swirling around a glass of brandy. His expression however was not one of disproval, indicating perhaps that he had no clue how much grief had been going on between Draco and I at school in his absence. Narcissa was in a dark black dress that shot straight down to her shoes like a silky waterfall, and was nodding at a story another gentleman was saying, who amusingly had an old-fashioned monocle hanging from his waist coat.
We stopped in front of Draco's family and he nodded to Lucius first, pointing his eyes down at his dress shoes, "Father."
Before Lucius could quip a brusque reply the man with the monocle barked, "Ah I see what you were talking about, Narcissa. She's a dream - you sure this isn't the wedding tonight?" He pointed his cane at the bottom of my long white gown while chewing on his cigar. I boldly raised an eyebrow back at him.
Lucius narrowed his blackening oceanic eyes at the man for the intrusion on his line, "Yes, well, all in good time, Greengrass. You are well aware these are delicate times. Priorities, of course." I stole a glance at Draco to see if his face would give away any indication of what Lucius meant by delicate times. His expression remained blank, his eyebrows slightly furrowed, staring at the suit of Armor's helmet behind Narcissa's bright blond hair.
Narcissa was sizing up my appearance with an air of authority, her face also unreadable. Why did the Malfoy's always have to be so difficult to read? Contrarily, Astoria's face was far from unreadable as she took in mine and Draco's clasped hands with a look of betrayal. A girl next to her who appeared older but related to her was also shooting dirty looks in our direction.
"That mark must be burnt halfway down to her spine by now," the Greengrass man kept pushing mockingly, "Hell of a pain to ask a young lady to endure for so long. What is the meaning behind the hesitation? Surely current politics aren't preventing a ceremony that much." His hand levitated to land on Astoria's tiny shoulder as he spoke.
Lucius looked positively murderous, "No hesitation, Calhoun. I understand your...resentment," his gaze landed down on Astoria suggestively in his classic singsong tone, "The date has been set. Draco is satisfied with this arrangement, isn't that right, Draco?" Narcissa and Lucius both darted nods towards Draco.
His mouth twitched, "Yes, father." My mind raced with the new information; the date has been set. The cage was closing, the time I had to plan any escape from the situation was decidedly shorter than I'd expected. Never mind my complex feelings for their son. Never mind the daily irritation of the crest - I was strong enough to endure that.
When was the date set to? I was about to interject against my better senses when Astoria took the opportunity from me, "Oh he looks terribly satisfied. They even hold hands. Since when do Malfoy's hold hands?" Her childish voice was coming out high pitched, the pain visible in her eyes. The comment was absurd in the current setting, and the silence that preoccupied the group was sickening. I half expected Lucius to use his cane to split our hands apart. Draco instead edged closer to me, shifting our entwined fingers into the fabric of our clothing and out of sight. He was looking more or less at the ground, horrified once again, but he held my hand tightly even still.
Finally the Greengrass man cleared his throat, scowling down at his daughter, "You'll excuse Astoria for her brashness. She is but a child still." Astoria's face went pink.
"So Madeleine, are you educated in ball room etiquettes?" Narcissa said in a smooth voice, changing the subject. Her eyes moved to the center of the room where people were dancing in pairs, elegant and rhythmically. She once again had her soft hands clasped in front of her, waiting.
The Felix Felicis pulsed through my veins, encouraging me to make a success out of the evening. I beamed adorably, "Why, yes of course. Naturally the regality of my upbringing fostered expertise in multiple forms of dancing, ballet not excluded."
Lucius sneered at Greengrass competitively but Narcissa's reaction was noble and pleased, "Obviously you will have to show us sometime. Tonight however, we were hoping to debut you and Draco officially as the first formal dance. You are of course, the future of the blood line and only heirs to the manor. It is fitting." Her face was polite but her eyes flashed managerially. Attendance is mandatory. Dancing is mandatory.
She played her role well keeping me in line, I noted.
"It would be my honor," I said simply. I felt Draco let his breath out loudly in relief, his hand loosening in mine.