I thought that I understood what chaos looked like. What it smelled like. The tenor in the air. I knew that it terrified me - why else did I keep returning to a furious ocean every time that my fear landscape ran? - but I didn't know until now just what it would feel like in the flesh.
Dauntless had been holding itself together when Uriah and I had arrived. Barely so, but enough. Once the word spread that the faction had been mobilized to infiltrate Abnegation, the last bit of self-restraint broke issue with being in a faction trained to fight from day one is just that.
I don't know who threw the first punch. Or the next ones, if I was counting the hits that Griffin and the others had gotten in on the comm officers beforehand. One moment there was deadly quiet as the realization sunk in. The next, Dauntless erupted. A few people tried to keep the furious crowd away from the comms officers, but there was only so much they could do against the wave.
Equal parts shouts of anger and cries of pain filled the air. Zeke kept his hands on Uriah's shoulders as we remained above the chaos atop our table. I followed suit in keeping the anger spilling over away from us by kicking, punching, yelling at anyone who tried to pull us in.
That was before the first crack of gunfire went off. Tactics changed, then. Shauna pushed me down, hard, on top of someone before joining me on the floor. She dragged me down, all the way to the concrete. Her hand was rough on the back of my head.
"Keep as low as you can," she hissed in my ear. I had to keep my arms around my face otherwise I was about to have my nose broken by a stray boot. Crawling forward to cram ourselves under the table felt like it took an age. I still took more than a few bruising hits to my limbs and torso. Everything was happening so quickly and yet getting somewhere safe was agony.
Zeke pulled Uriah down with us, mirroring Shauna's protective grip. Each occasional snap of gunfire was punctuated by a fever pitch of shouts and screams. There were vehement orders to stand down, you're making a huge mistake!
"We can't stay here," Uriah insisted. No one disagreed.
Someone slammed into the table, shifting it over nearly a foot. We all scurried to stay underneath, to keep the semblance of protection. I watched as another table got flipped up into a makeshift barricade. All the while the gunfire popped off with ever increasing frequency.
"We can't leave. That's where the shooting's going on. By the doors," I said. I didn't dare look but I could guess from how the sound moved through the room.
Zeke crawled over to where I was crouched and watched for a long handful of seconds. He got closer to the table's edge than either I dared or Shauna allowed. His face grew more stern. "She's right."
"We can't be kettled in here," Uriah said, his voice hitching in desperation. I heard a heavy thunk as another table was flipped. There was the sound of splintering as well. Either bodies or maybe the stray gunfire were punching through the thick wooden tabletops and benches.
Shauna cursed over and over under her breath while she thought. Then she jabbed a finger over Uriah's shoulder. "The kitchens! There's utility halls there. The factionless come in through them. They go to storage. To one of the stairwells. I think even there's a loading bay, small though," she hissed.
There wasn't time to consider further. Our table was next, pushed again and flipped to expose us like beetles under a stone. "Shauna, go! We'll follow," Zeke roared. She sprang from the floor gracefully. I launched myself more or less in her footsteps, feeling Uriah's breath on my neck as he kept close behind. Like a twisted schoolyard game, I kept my hand gripped on Shauna's shoulder even as people battered into us. Uriah's was on mine and I would have bet my entire points balance that Zeke was taking up the rear just the same.
I don't think anyone knew exactly why we were fighting each other. And that was the wonder, wasn't it? Who could you trust? Who knew something and wasn't saying it? I had to rip someone off of Shauna's back as she struggled to kick through a barricade in front of the kitchen doors. We weren't the only ones who thought of it as an escape, but it seemed that made us targets.
"No one's running away from this!" they shouted as they tried to grab her by the hair. I slammed a foot into their chest, knocking the wind out of them and giving Shauna a chance to shove the rest of the makeshift barricade aside.
For my trouble I got socked in the jaw. I think someone tried to claw at my arm, too, but my shirt sleeves protected me from the brunt of it. I returned the favor with a flurry of slams with my elbow, and then Shauna was through the barricade.
She tumbled through the door, followed by Uriah. He had slipped between us when I'd been attacked. I didn't even have to think as Zeke dragged me bodily by the vest through with him. I ended up on the floor again as someone stuck out their foot to trip me. The door slammed shut, crunching a few fingers if I interpreted the yelling correctly.
"Idiots!" A familiar voice - Tori's - snarled. "Don't let those maniacs in here. We don't all want to end up with a bullet to the brain."
Shauna threw herself at the other woman only to be pulled off by two Dauntless who melted out of the shadows of the kitchen. Zeke jumped in to help and the four Dauntless stood at odds with one another, measuring the others up. My heart hammered painfully in my chest, joined by the throbs of fresh bruises. "We're not here to kill each other," Tori said after taking her own assessment of us. She blinked when she took in Uriah and myself. "And you kids really need to get out of here."
Through the kitchen door, the angry rapport of gunfire continued. I swallowed any pride that was stung by being called a kid still. "We're all fine staying the hell away," I said. I hadn't dared to stand back up yet. Uriah warily moved to a crouch and looked expectantly at his brother.
"We need to find the others. Our family, friends. See who's safe. Then we can ask more questions," Zeke added gruffly. "We don't have any more answers than anyone else. We were all on the same trains."
Apparently satisfied that we weren't going to tear one another apart, one of the Dauntless moved back to the door to study the seething brawl. I took that as permission to stand again. "Tori," the man called quickly, "it's madness in there. I see at least half a dozen people down." We all winced as another volley of gunshots were exchanged. Lines were being drawn. The shouts grew more demanding, more unified.
Against what, though? Against who? Shauna gestured for Uriah and I to step away from the door, deeper into the kitchens. "That's our cue," she said in a low voice.
Tori once more studied us. Her gaze focused on me in that same way it had last night - had the party really only been last night? "None of you know what happened? You're all just as blank? Nothing at all?" she pressed.
Uriah tugged once more on the shoulder of my vest. I shook my head, confident at least in this. "One minute I was asleep. The next I was on the train. Like Zeke said," I insisted. We all held our breath as Tori's gaze swept across the four of us.
She jerked her chin and moved back to the kitchen doors. "Fine," she said, releasing us. "But make sure you get those things out of your arm. Sooner rather than later."
"What do you mean?" Zeke pressed. Next to him, Shauna was looking ahead at the next hallway.
Twisting my wrist up, I tugged my sleeve out of the way and examined the tiny red mark from last night. "The trackers. They weren't just for safety," I realized.
Tori snapped her fingers but otherwise didn't respond. Zeke pushed past Shauna and grabbed Tori on the shoulder. He was again pulled off of her by the other Dauntless. "What do you know?" he snarled, demanding.
"I know enough that you should listen to me and go find your families before you lose them!" Tori shouted. Another shooting match thundered behind her, the faction tearing itself apart minute by minute. "All of you!"
Zeke fumed. My stomach churned and all I wanted was to stay rooted exactly where I was. I could hardly fathom what it was Tori had to say, yet I needed to hear it. It was Shauna's hand wrapping around mine that pulled me from my fog. "Zeke," she implored with a quiet voice. Her other hand held Uriah's. He was wavering on his feet.
With a frustrated growl, Zeke turned away from Tori and followed Shauna into the back halls of the faction. I let myself get pulled along, my mind skipping as it tried to rectify exactly what Tori was insinuating.
Once we left the heart of the faction it was easier to breathe if only by inches. Zeke and Shauna returned to their head and foot positions in our single file line as we wound through the corridors. I started to feel a bit like I was being railroaded around, but what exactly was I going to do in the interim? We had only just been initiated. I didn't know where to begin with something like this.
The Pedrad family quarters were nondescript compared to every other door in the hallway we arrived in. Zeke punched in the door code in the manual lock and let out an audible sigh when it popped open. "Ma? It's Zeke. I've got Uri, too," he called out.
Above us, the speakers inset in the ceilings crackled. Every few minutes there had been call I didn't understand being given from people I didn't recognize. "Pull back from sector five is go. Authorization finalized by Corporals Dixon, Widener, Reed, and Hoover. Oh, and West. Sorry, Charlie. Didn't mean to leave you off," another voice called. They sounded exhausted.
I slumped in my boots. Even if everything was going to hell in a handbasket, I took some relief that the middle ranks were banding together at least on some level to get our people fully pulled out of whatever we'd been sent into. Things here still weren't much better, but we couldn't help anyone if we didn't get a grip first.
From inside the Pedrad home came a rush of motion. Arms swept Zeke into an aggressive hug as an older woman surged into view. After a moment there was a cry and Uriah was added to the crushing embrace. "Thank God you're both alright," the woman gushed. The communal relief between the three Pedrads was palpable, and I felt another layer of tension slough off my own shoulders.
Shaking her head, she quickly turned to usher us inside. "Shauna, I'm not surprised to see you keeping Ezekiel safe and sound," she gushed. "And you, give me a minute and I'll remember the name. Trish? Trisha? You're one of Uriah's classmates, right? I'm sorry, dear, my son should have introduced us last night. It's good to see you are alright as well."
It had been a long time since I had been swept up by a rush of maternal attention. I mumbled inaudibly that it was Tris, actually, and let her direct us to a pair of couches tucked into the back corner of the living space.
Uriah's mother apologized and, after another tight pair of hugs with her sons, introduced herself as Hana. "But you can call me Mrs. P if that's easier."
She disappeared into a side room for a bit. I sank into the corner of the couch. I could hear Zeke and Shauna going back and forth with one another but the details eluded me. I found myself focusing on the little facets of the room around me rather than anything anyone was saying.
There was a clearly recently vacated open section of floor plan by the windows on the wall. It was a much better place for the couches we were on now. I also noted the shotgun on the rack above the door we had come through which had two visibly empty loops on the strap among the other filled ones.
How long had Hana been back in her home to take these measures? The timeline of the day was still too fuzzy. When we - Uriah and I, at least - had gotten off the train there had already been that huge collection of Dauntless. Had we been the last to shake off whatever fog had been over us all? Maybe his brother and mother had been in a different group or one that hadn't been sent out to sector five at all.
The couch cushion next to me sank down when Uriah dropped to sit finally. He had been pacing back and forth. Even while sitting down his fist bounced unendingly off of his knee in a nervous staccato.
"What have we done?" I heard him mutter to himself. The question remained unanswered, knocking around my thoughts recklessly. All I could think about was the smell of burnt gunpowder. I lifted my knuckles to my face. The stretchy fabric of my fingerless gloves kept the smell captured there. Eventually the sickly scent of sweat would overtake it. I still felt like I was melting in my turnout gear.
I looked up as Hana re-entered the room. She didn't have the same style vest on as the rest of us. Hers was missing the velcro patch on the back and shoulder that signified a squad.
Uriah and I had the same number embroidered on ours. That made some sense to me. We had been on the same train after all. Zeke and Shauna both had matching numbers as well.
It still didn't mean anything, though. We had been deployed in groups. That was what Dauntless did, according to every drill Four and Lauren had run us through. The question was still outstanding - what had been the op? Why couldn't we remember anything about it?
I licked my lips and opened my mouth. "Tori said something-" I started before letting Hana speak up over me.
"They're sending up someone to cut those things out before anything worse happens," she said matter of factly. She looked at me and nodded. "Is that what you were going to say?"
I shook my head. "I- not really. It was about them though," I replied.
Hana twisted her wrist to show the stretch of skin there. She had a trio of names inked on her dark skin. Among the names was a thin cut covered in liquid bandage. "You mentioned Tori. She's one of the good ones. Her people are getting things back under control. They're sending the piercers around to take these out. We started earlier, but, well, we didn't get enough out before they activated."
If I hadn't seen how the Dauntless downstairs had clustered around her, I would have been baffled. "She's a tattoo artist though," I protested. "Why's she getting people rallied against… whatever this all is?"
"And what do you mean 'we started earlier'," Zeke added. "Did they know before?"
Hana regarded her son with an expression that was difficult to discern. I could make out concern, wariness, and exhaustion. The cocktail of the day it seemed. She let out a heavy sigh and held her arms across her stomach.
"Mom?" Uriah pressed. We all waited on baited breath for the answer.
She shook her head. "We didn't know, not really," Hana explained slowly.
"But we suspected. Dauntless is an army first but not everyone's skills are so much appreciated. Tori would have been on the Leadership track if she had been in my year. With folks like Max running things? They don't much like women like her.
"We don't like to cause trouble of course. The chain of command is still important and, well, nothing too terrible has gone on, not until now. None of us like the new attitude about strength and brute force being more important than good sense - especially not with how it's affected who gets in the faction. But we are still all Dauntless. It seemed important to just keep an ear to the ground and an eye on those in power. So that was what we did," Hana said. She pursed her lips and cast her eyes to the ceiling. Some recollection or thought kept her silent for a long moment.
Still looking upwards, Hana sighed. "We should have done more sooner," she admitted. "The trackers came out of nowhere and we believed the lie for what it was when it was brought up last week. Laurence and Yvette were the ones who put it together with the rumors coming out of Erudite and only last night, too late."
I remembered suddenly how Tori had vanished amongst the start of the tracker rollout. It hadn't mattered to me then, not really, but it seemed almost obvious now. I hadn't questioned the program. No one had. If we had, could this have been avoided?
Zeke edged forward on the couch and put a hand on his mother's arm. "What rumors though? What did these things do?" he demanded.
Hana finally looked back down at us. Her eyes were wet and she pressed the heel of her palm to them briefly. "They turned us into killers," she said. "Dutiful little soldiers imposing our strength and brute force on those poor Abnegation."
"We don't know that for sure," Shauna countered softly. "The reports aren't clear." I wanted to believe her. It was easier to think that way, to hide in the uncertainty. Hearing Hana's claims made me want to say the same - we didn't know, so surely we shouldn't jump to the worst conclusion.
A withering glare from Hana silenced Shauna and dug that sharp feeling in my gut deeper. "Don't be obtuse, girl," Hana snapped. Tension sparked in the air and all I wanted was to sink further into the couch. "What do you really think their goal was by getting all of us marching in clockwork down to sector five? What just and practical reason could there be? There isn't one. And I for one will not let them make my sons into their instruments of death again. Nor should you."
I was looking down at that tiny red mark again, dread spreading like venom through my veins. "What do we do, though?" I asked, the question spilling out without restraint. What could we do to pick up the pieces? Leadership had apparently put this on us - perhaps only upper leadership based on the complete chaos that had erupted on the trains and down in the cafeteria - so how exactly were we supposed to move forward?
I picked my head up and pulled my sleeve back down. "After we get these out, what do we do next? We have to make it right," I insisted.
A slight smile crept across Hana's face. Her shoulders dropped slightly, losing that tense edge. "Of course. That's what we all signed up for. We're Dauntless. We won't back down from a challenge, no matter what."
A/N: This chapter ended up being really frustratingly difficult to coax out. I hope that the next takes far fewer weeks of back and forth to finish! Please let me know your thoughts as always. Thanks for reading! - Dragon