Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers. Only the plot and OCs.
Have a chapter, hope you enjoy.
Chapter 5
"Come again?" Bumblebee squeaked.
Like, he legit squeaked. He had entertained the idea these vorns that he was now old enough not to sound like a started sparkling anymore. However, that was apparently not the case.
"Bumblebee, it's time for you to go on now." The way the command rolled off shocked Bee enough that the squeaking and slight panicking ended. Leaving him to stare over at the white speeder that wasn't looking at him. Drift was instead staring down at his best friend that was hiding in his palms and refusing to lift his gaze.
"What?" Bee all but bit back at him.
Drift's bright blue optics lifted to him and with a tone that the youngling had never heard before calmly told him. "Go on, Bee. I'll take care of Roddy."
"But—but—"
"But nothing."
For once in his life Bumblebee didn't argue, but it wasn't because he didn't want to. No, he wanted to. He wanted to help, but it wasn't hard to see how little help he would be here. So slowly, oh so very confused, Bumblebee pulled himself out of Hot Rod's lap and headed out of the boiler room. With only one long look over his shoulder before he slip out the door leaving Drift sitting there alone holding onto Roddy.
For a moment silence fell heavy over them before Drift blew out a loud breath.
"Well," He drawled. "This was honestly not how I saw my orn going when I got up this morning."
Hot Rod leaned just enough to glare at him through his parted fingers, but at least he had stopped breathing like he was going to hyperventilate now.
Drift had the audacity to smile at him. "Oh come on, Roddy."
"Don't you come on Roddy me!" The commander hissed, shoving himself to his feet and began pacing. Leaving Drift to slowly push himself up to stand as well.
"Did you even hear me!? What the frag, mech!? Don't you even care!? You're supposed to be my best friend!"
"Of course I care!" Drift snapped, reaching out to latch hold of him and stop his frantic pacing. Only when he managed to stop the tri colored brightness that was his best friend did he pause, making spin around and face him while Roddy hissed.
"Doesn't damn well sound like it."
Drift just stared at him. Those bright blue optics knowing. So knowing that Hot Rod couldn't make himself look at them. He was afraid he'd start balling again like some spark broke youngling if he did. In fact, he probably would.
"Roddy," Drift sighed, keeping his grip firm on his friend's arm. "Come on, Roddy. I mean . . . . You can't lie to me, Roddy. I'm the one that knows, remember? I'm the one you talk to. The only one you really talk too. I know."
Some of the fight inside the bright commander died then. Rushing out of his vents in a breath that left him sagging there against his friend's front. Falling into the embrace that was suddenly awaiting him. Letting the white speedster highlighted in red tuck him into his chest, wrap his arms tight around his shoulders as he let the other sag against him.
They stayed like that in the sticky, overbearing heat of the boiler room. Vents struggling to breathe in the thickness of the air, but neither was in a hurry to go anywhere else. Roddy still too afraid to face what lie outside that old door and Drift not at all rushing his friend. Eventually though Hot Rod sighed.
"Am I an idiot?"
"You're gonna have to be more specific than that."
Roddy flicked him hard on his right audial fin.
Drift yelped, but it turned into a chuckle and neither moved from the hug.
"Don't be an aft when I need best friend council or I'll go find myself a new best friend."
"Oh really?" Drift snorted, smiling at the wall over Roddy's shoulder.
"It's doable." Roddy assured him, voice picking up a playful tease. Unable not to with the amusement ripping in Drift's calm field. It was hard to be upset when the white mech was shoving all that assurance and teasing at him.
"I'm sure it is." Drift teased right back. "But in the mean time, and to save you from having to read applications, how about you tell me what exactly you think about any of this makes you an idiot."
Roddy's grip around Drift's thin back tightened for a moment before he pulled back to stand straight. Drift didn't try and stop him. He let him go, watching him shift back and forth. Optics down and arms crossing over his chest in a tired, wary kind of way.
"You know."
"No, I really don't."
Roddy clenched his teeth. "I kissed him! Were you even listening!?"
"Yes." Drift nodded. "I was listening. I heard you. I just don't understand what the big problem is. Why are you down here freaking out about it?"
Roddy stared at him like he'd lost his mind. Which was highly likely because he just said a thing as stupid as that, but Drift just stared right back at him. Expectant and quiet. As if what he said made perfect sense and Roddy should be providing him with some kind of reason as to why his spark was breaking and his mind was rolling.
Roddy would have thought it would have been rather obvious.
He was an idiot.
He did the unthinkable.
He ruined the best thing he'd ever known.
He . . . suddenly felt like maybe he was missing something because Drift just kept standing there expectantly and a little sad.
"I . . . I . . . don't . . . Drift what are you talking about?"
Drift sighed, reaching up to rub at the base of one of his long audial fins as if he could somehow fight off the growing headache. It wasn't Roddy's fault per say, he was just being his usual self destroying self, but it didn't mean there wasn't a headache coming on.
"Roddy," He finally said. "How long have you wanted to do that?"
Roddy couldn't respond.
He was afraid to.
Drift knew the answer. He knew because the night after Roddy had realized it he'd ended up hiding in his best friend's berth with a pillow crushed over his head while they tried to talk out his latest mistake in between bouts of his stupid sparkling like balling.
"Yeah." Drift nodded slowly. "A long time, and what did I tell you back then?"
Roddy looked hard at the floor. "That I was allowed to want . . . and have. That I deserved it."
Drift didn't nod this time. Just stood there a little longer looking at his friend. He wished it was a statement that was easier for Roddy to believe, but he knew himself how hard that simplest of ideas was to wrap a mind around. Especially after the lies that Roddy had waded through and the mechs that had used him.
Bumblebee's mind was spinning. Confliction and confusion warring around inside of both his processor and his spark. Leaving him this distorted bundle of emotions just walking aimlessly down hallways.
He wasn't sure what he was suppose to be doing. Let alone what he should be doing.
This was far from the first time the adults had dismissed him from something, but this was the first time it had been like this. He knew Drift didn't mean anything by it. He was simply trying to help Roddy and Bee being around to hear . . . that probably wasn't what the commander needed.
But Bee had heard that.
It left him reeling.
Because what the frag?
When had he missed that?
Roddy and Mags . . . .
The thought wasn't actually that bizarre. Not when he really thought about it. If anything it was kind of . . . awesome. The longer he thought about it the more it was, but it was just he hadn't seen that coming. He'd never felt even the slightest hint that something like that was hidden in either of them.
Bee knew bonds better then he knew anything else.
He knew them better then he knew his own systems. He understood them like he could grasp nothing else. He wasn't even sure why. Not really, he just knew it was something he did. Something he did that was far from normal on many, many levels.
His family didn't have the slightest clue about just how much he saw, felt, and saw. Because it hadn't taken Bee very long into his short life to figure out what he did was not normal.
It was far from normal.
At least for everybot else. For Bumblebee it was normal. It was simply the way he was. He didn't know why he could do the things he could. He just knew he did them.
Nevertheless, he kept most of them secret. Because that was easier than watching the confused and disbelieving looks in his family. Because what he did, to them, was weird. Talking to animals, feeling far more then he probably had right too, seeing things . . . that even he couldn't explain. Before it had just been the pathways of energy among sparks. He could actually see bonds if he focused hard enough. As if he could see the life that flowed around him.
It was marvelous, but not something he knew not to explain.
And now he was seeing . . . well honestly he wasn't sure what he had saw down there in that shipwreck. Deep down, somewhere, somehow he knew. He knew it wasn't just the stress or the fear from what had happened. He hadn't been seeing things.
That had been Cyber.
Somehow.
Whether to call it a ghost or what Bee didn't know. He was kind of scared to find out.
It was no simple thought process. Being so drastically different and knowing it. Knowing he did things that weren't right, that in all reality were scary. Things he couldn't explain and probably never should try.
For he feared just what they would say.
It wasn't that he feared them, no he could never fear them. He just feared what it would mean.
Because this was his home. His family.
He was supposed to belong here.
He had to belong here.
Because if he didn't . . . where did he?
He'd circled the second base level for the fourth time by then. Mind rolling faster than stars fell with everything going on in his head. Trying to figure out what to do, or say, or even think about quite a few things. Knowing that he couldn't go and be with anybot else until he got a hold of at least some of it. So he went on with his laps.
This low in the ship, just a level above where Drift and Roddy probably still were, he wasn't likely to run across anybot. Only the maintain shifts came down here. So he was alone to think. Which was better.
Maybe it was selfish. Maybe he should have run straight to Optimus and told him something was wrong. Maybe he should have gone and found Magnus so he could say what was going on, but he didn't do either. He just went on circling the halls. Mind wondering and spark locked in its chamber because he refused to let it go looking for the answer it could probably find quite easily.
To be perfectly honest he wasn't sure how he even noticed it. His mind was wondering so much he could hardly see the steps in front of him. It wasn't even that he saw. It was more of a fleeting streak of color out of the corner of his optic, but the color and the size seized him up in a lock of joints and a flash of fear.
Ravage.
That was the first thought. As he suddenly swung left. Dagger ripped out of the subspace pocket at his lower back where he was keeping it. The long black blade glittering in the harsh red light of the standby power of the lower levels.
Only for the dagger to clatter to the ground as his whole frame went lax. To the point that he knees almost gave out under him. His thrown out hand against the wall beside him only just saved him from a faceplate to the floor. However, other than catching his balance he found he could do nothing else.
All he could do was stand there and stare with his jaw dropped open and his optics wide. He was pretty sure he wasn't breathing either. Instead simply standing there locked in some cloud of shock as he stared down at the lean, longish, silver and blue spotted form of a robo-cat. Though the color was more of a transparent sheen. Just like before he was sort of looking through the image as much as he was looking at it.
But it was there.
Oh Primus was it there.
Image shivering slightly, not flickering really, but so obviously not tangible that it hurt.
The first instinct of Ravage hadn't been that far off. For it was very much a robo-cat. But the image was smaller, and while the transparent quality made the blue a bit harder to see it shone just enough to overpower the silver. Those ice colored blue optics. Tall twitchy audios. Rounded, pointed tail. And long wire whiskers twitching from a short muzzle.
Risk.
Spark constricting in its chamber Bee tried to take a breath and found that his vents didn't want to. All he could do was stand there and stare down at the robo-cat sitting on his haunches. Long tail wrapped around his clawed paws. Head tilted ever so slightly as those clear but not blue optics sparkled up at him.
The cat was smiling. Anybot else might have thought that was impossible, but Bee knew all too well that it wasn't.
"Risk . . . ?" This time the word managed to roll off his tongue, but it was more of a hiccup than anything else. His spark so tight and processor so confused that his vocal processor had trouble calling up the right sounds.
It came out all the same though. That robo-cat—his first friend, the one that had died for him—gave a light purr. It was more of a feeling then a sound though. Bee couldn't tell if he heard it with his audios or his spark, but he didn't actually have the processor power at the moment to try and figure it out.
Because suddenly Risk pushed himself to his clawed paws, turned, glanced once over his shoulder, and then sprinted off down the hall behind him.
Bee was off after him like a shot.
Shouting for him to wait as he did. Running as fast as he could. Sliding around corners and tripping through cross sections. The whole time trying to catch up to the springing cat that managed to just keep in front of him.
Bee was almost sure he was going to disappear when he rounded another corner in front of him, but when the young yellow mech skidded around it he found he could only trip, crash, and tumble to the ground. Hardly feeling a moment of it because he was too busy with his jaw hanging open staring up at the misty image flickering at the end of the hall in front of him.
Risk—or at least the ghost of a thing that looked like Risk—stood there beside where he fell. Looking down at him with an amused twitch of his wire whiskers. Bumblebee couldn't find it in himself to even look over at the there but not there image of the robo-cat.
Instead all he could do was shakily push himself into a seated position and stare. At the foggy picture spread out like a trapped cloud at the end of the hall. Distorted and wispy. Hard to really make out. Like looking through a dirty window, or water.
Hard to really see, but still there. Enough that if one tried hard enough they could make out what it was. Even if the longer Bee stared at the more confused he became.
It was like looking at a close up shot of the sun. A glowing mass of energy and life in the center. Though it was square, not round. And massive. Somehow Bee knew this. The image of the thing above him making him feel absolutely tiny.
Watching as it pulsed and swayed. Bright arches of bright blue, purple, green, yellow, pink, red, and white arched off the center of blinding light. As if it was throwing out burst of life. Flashing like lightening off it. Some disconnecting and flickering out, other snapping back in to take in power and then arch out again. As if the whole thing was fighting to flare its power out into the world around it.
Like it was screaming, silently, calling and beckoning with the flares and pulls of light. Bee's spark gave a hard tug. Some place deep inside of him suddenly still before it went to shoving. As if his spark was trying to force him to his feet.
Like it wanted closer.
Like it could hear something.
An echo of something drifted through Bee. Something he couldn't make out. Like a voice too far out of range. You knew it was talking, but no matter how hard you tried, you just couldn't make it out.
Vents heaving, optics wide, Bee stared up at the thing he knew somehow was furious. Screaming. Angry and loud. He couldn't hear it, but he could all the same. At least a piece of him could.
His spark slammed against its chamber. As if it was trying to get out and go to it. Whatever it was.
"Understand?" The voice snapped him to the left. Doorwings flaring wide behind him as his gaze swung around and he found himself staring down at Risk's optics. The cat sitting beside him. It had been so long since he'd heard that voice he almost didn't recognize it, but he had never truly forgotten. He knew he never would.
It was the fact that he talked but he was dead.
Gone.
Forever.
Yet here.
Sitting beside him in this flickering mist kind of way with those optics staring up at him expectantly.
"What?" He asked.
Risk looked back to the strange image. Audios tilting forward and twitching his tail toward it.
"Understand?"
"No." Bee shook his head hard.
No.
No he really didn't. He didn't understand any of it.
Risk sighed. Optics looking a little sad as he looked back to the mechling. He blinked for a moment as Bee sat there on his knees staring back at him before the robo-cat huffed out a sigh.
"Sorry. All got. Have to understand on own."
"Risk, I don't—how—what is—"
But the images were fading. Right before his optics they were both flickering out as if they had never been there in the first place. Bee reached out. Knowing he wouldn't be able to touch but desperately doing it all the same. Swiping for the robo-cat's form. His hand flew right through and with one last long look it was all gone.
Leaving Bee sitting there on his knees at the end of a hall with his spark hammering.
What was happening to him?
It took quite a lot of coaxing to get Hot Rod out of the boiler room, but Drift had more than a little experience in the area of coaxing Roddy out of hiding. They had their fair share of things to hide from; they'd gotten into more than enough trouble throughout the Academy and afterward. Some things worse than others and the ghost that was hanging over Roddy's head now was almost as scary as the truth was.
Drift didn't blame him.
It wasn't a place Hot Rod let himself fall back to often. Sentinel and all he had done was nothing short of a taboo topic for the Autobots now. Especially after what War and Dust had brought to light with their little field trip with Trickster they took after the last Ring was destroyed.
But there were other things about that old mech that were put away because the one that had suffered for them didn't want to remember. And no bot around here—at least the ones that knew the whole story—could say they did either. Grayscale was not a mech or an event that any of them liked to recall.
But there was a very good reason Roddy thought—deep down in a place that was hard to flush out—he didn't deserve to have happiness. It all ran back to that lie.
Tucked into Drift's side the bright colored commander let his friend lead him up out of the sublevels and back toward his room. Roddy's arms held tight to himself while Drift's left one was wrapped snuggling around his shoulders and the other lifted to hold Roddy's fingers lightly as they walked.
He had calmed down, but that didn't mean he was in a good mindset. If Drift was kind enough to keep supporting him as they walked along, staying out of sight only by a miracle of Primus as they headed toward Roddy's quarters, then Hot Rod was by no means going to complain.
He was still in the processes of trying to brush it off. Trying not to think about it. All while his mind was running every horrible possibly he knew came next. This was not something he could get away from, he knew that, but that didn't mean he had any idea how to face it.
So instead of talking about the real problem like Hot Rod knew Drift wanted to he was content to take the topics elsewhere as they walked along.
"Have you been thinking about what I asked you?" He started.
Drift's surprise was obvious in his field for a moment before the white mech nodded. "Yeah, I have."
Roddy's bright blue optics held those paler ones in a sideways kind of watch. "Well?"
"I would be honored." Drift smiled at him. "But you're kind of without a ship at the moment."
Hot Rod snorted. "Yeah, I know. But that doesn't mean you can't be promoted. What's left of my crew is still my crew. Just because we're all on one ship doesn't mean that has changed. At least, I don't think. Maybe it should . . . I—"
"Stop that." Drift cut in with a hard breath making Roddy falter half a step before he picked up their pace again. "Really, Roddy. I mean it. You have to stop that. What happened isn't your fault. Optimus isn't taking your rank or your crew away from you. You're a wonderful captain. If it hadn't been for your quick thinking with that warp drive we'd all be dead. You did that, Roddy. You saved us."
Roddy knew that was true. Honestly, he did, but that didn't make it easy to except.
"Okay." He sighed. "I'm sorry. I just . . . well you know . . . I'm me."
"Yeah," Drift rolled his optics with a duh tone. "I'm kinda your best friend. I know who you are."
Roddy couldn't help but laugh at that. Optics sliding over to shine with a silent 'thank you' that Drift only grinned a bit more at.
"Yeah, Roddy. I'll be your SIC. I'd be honored."
"I think it would be fitting." Roddy couldn't help but smile a bit at the pleased flexing of Drift's field. "Probably should have done it vorns ago."
Drift snorted a laugh at that. "I wasn't a part of your crew vorns ago. Technically, I'm still not. You had me burrowed."
Roddy huffed. "Well Optimus can get over it. He can't have you back."
Drift full on giggled at that. Roddy taking up the sound as well as they walked along down the hall. Pressed together, field brushing happily. It was hard for Roddy's processor to haunt him like this. All the bad fell away when Drift was close by. It was so hard to be sad when Drift wanted him to be happy.
The same was the reverse for the white mech too. Ever since their Academy orns they had held each other up. Leaning on and standing up for the other over and over again. Even when back then it was not the smartest place for a mech like Drift to be. Standing beside the Prime's embarrassment he was constantly trying to both hide and secretly get rid of.
That didn't stop Drift though. He had growled to every long, demeaning look. He had fluffed his armor at every spy that thought he didn't notice them.
Roddy had spent so much time back then trying to fit in, trying to do right, trying to be liked he had been blind to it all. Blind to what was happening apart from the obvious stuff that even he couldn't deny when Drift flung the truth under his noseplate. It was that desperation to be what he thought he was suppose to be that lead to Grayscale.
Roddy hadn't listened to Drift back then and Optimus, Elita, Chromia, Arcee, Magnus, Ironhide, Jazz, Prowl, and Ratchet had been too busy to notice. That is until Roddy was leaking in the dark of his apartment where Drift found him the morning after it had all gone so very wrong. After the lying glitch had almost accomplished what Sentinel's Council—not that they could prove it, but they all knew—had paid him to do.
Drift had busted down Roddy's door that morning after not being able to get a hold of him the night before or that morning. Had finally listened to the worry in his spark and sprinted over to his friend's apartment. Tripping over the corpse of the bastard his best friend was being courted by. The one that was lying, spying, and paid to kill him.
He had almost succeed too, because Roddy had been so desperate to have somebot want him that he didn't see the truth in front of his optics until it tired to but a plasma round through his spark.
Roddy had been sprawled in the middle of his berthroom floor. Half dead, leaking out. The glitch had almost succeeded. Only Roddy's youth in the streets of Hive City had saved him. Drift found him leaking there, crying there. In a pool of energon that was and wasn't his. Next to that cold grey frame he had somehow managed to stop.
Drift had panicked.
He still didn't really remember the call he made to Ratchet. He didn't remember them all rushing in. He didn't remember what had been said or done really. All he remembered was huddling there on the floor in a pool of energon as he held his best friend. Letting Roddy cry into his shoulder as he desperately tried to stop the leaking until Ratchet got there. Pressing his white fingers into the deep gashes and wounds.
Only moving when Ironhide had to quite literally tear him away from Roddy's side to let Ratchet and Arcee save him. Even now the yelling and cursing that had followed the orns after was nothing but dull noise in the back of his mind.
He didn't remember.
He didn't need to.
All he had needed to do then was stand by his friends' side. Which was what he did. From a medical berth, to Optimus' apartment, to an investigation that had ended in Magnus, Optimus, Elita, Ironhide, Prowl, and Chromia finding that not even they had any power over the Councils lies.
There was nothing they could do.
Those old greedy fools—by Sentinel's orders or not—had taken Roddy's life, his very spark, and played with it in the worst way possible. Paying a mech to befriend him, romance him, court him, pretend to want to be something Roddy so desperately wanted, and then murder him after getting close enough to make it hurt in the worse way possible. To make Roddy watch his wants and hopes shatter before him as the mech he was trusting his spark with pulled a trigger over his spark.
And there was nothing any of them had been able to do about it.
Roddy killed the mech to save his own life and all the evidence had died with him. The proof was gone, but they all knew the truth. Knew that the Council—Sentinel—wanted the Prime's bastard mistake gone so bad they were willing to go that far to make it happen.
It was that moment that something inside Roddy had changed forever. He healed, sure, but a piece inside him never did. From then on out Optimus had hid him. In every shape and form. For the war had started not long after and while Megatron never knew who Roddy was Optimus went to even greater links to assure that it never happened. That piece of Roddy that had died that night Grayscale tried to kill him would always be there though.
It was the part that made him think he wasn't right. That he didn't deserve to have what he had been given or what he wanted. It was why when he realized he loved Magnus all those vorns ago he come running scared to Drift.
Because the last mech he thought he loved had all been a lie. Had in fact been sent to do nothing but lie to him until he tried to kill him. It wasn't that Roddy had thought Magnus ever capable of doing the same thing, but it was not something that went away. No, it haunted Roddy. It made him fear anything his spark thought was true and had for a long time.
On top of all the other reason he knew he couldn't feel this way because of, that one made it all the more worse. No matter how long Drift spent telling him that what he felt for Magnus was not the same thing.
That it was different.
It still scared Roddy.
Drift knew that it might always, unless Magnus felt the same way. Unless Magnus did and could show Roddy what real love was.
Drift thought he might. He'd been growing this sneaking suspicion for a while, but he couldn't know for sure.
Well, that is, he couldn't know for sure until he keyed open Roddy's door, watching it slide away letting them slip inside to find Magnus sitting on Roddy's berth with his head in his hands. The way the big mech looked up and then jerked to his feet at the sight of the red, yellow, and orange commander told Drift all he needed to know.
And something in his spark became a little lighter because of it.
He was shivering by the time he made it back to the room. Armor rattling against his protoform. Doorwings plastered down to his back. Breathing hitching. The door hardly shut behind him before Scout and Echo had sprang off the berth. Bounding the room in two steps before they were both winding around him.
High, distresses whimpers ringing from Echo while Scout growled a low rumble. Bee ignored them both. Unable to even pulse them an answer to what was wrong until he crashed down to the smaller berth pressed against Hide and Mia's slightly larger one. Faceplate first into his pillow he paused only to take a breath before he snatched for his covers and went to pulling. Not stopping until he was burrowed deep under his covers. Scout and Echo had climbed up onto the end of the berth after him. Having gone quite at his actions. Only low whines rising from either of them as they crawled forward. One on each side of him, flattening out onto their bellies, heads tucked low until they were right down the sides of him. Pressing against his sides, nosing in at his face from where he had it pressed firmly into the pillow.
His breathing was still ragged but with the two black hounds licking at his cheeks it was something of a ground. Allowing him to slow down his rolling process just enough to pull out a hand, reaching for Echo. The femme hound allowed herself to be pulled as he rolled to bury his faceplate into her thickening armor of her shoulder. She gave a soft whine. Licking at his pinned antennas unsure what else to do.
Scout pushed up on his front paws behind them. Wiggling over until his head was draped across Bee's shoulder. Front paws pressed between Bee's wings. The two of them whined and for a moment that was it until finally they realized they weren't going to get any answers until they made him talk.
"Bee?" Echo called over the pack bond.
They didn't get an answer.
His mind and spark were too full to focus.
Scout tried next. "Bee? What matter?"
Bee finally rolled up onto his back. Allowing the two hounds to rest their muzzles against his chest. Those black optics shining in worry up at him.
"You okay?" Echo pressed.
Bee didn't know how to explain what he was. Though that was a statement that went far beyond this moment right here. For the moment though he couldn't think of an explanation. That was why he was in his berth and not in the medical bay. Technically he wasn't hurt—at least he was pretty sure he wasn't—his insides just felt weird. His spark unhappy on a level that it hadn't been in any way he could remember.
It didn't hurt it was just unhappy. Like it wanted something.
What that was though he had no idea. No fraggin' idea what so ever.
"Do you two believe in ghosts?" He finally asked.
Echo's head tilted against his chest while Scout picked his up a little and flicked his scarred audio.
"Ghosts?" He mimicked. "What a ghost?"
"A dead thing that comes back. Not to life, but back to the world." Bee didn't really know how to explain it. Not even this part. How did he put this into a way that they hounds would understand it? They didn't have any grasp of life and death like the ones Bee had grown up with. Their idea of it was very different.
They processed it similar, but not completely the same.
However, the two hounds take of the explanation was nothing like he thought it would be.
"Oh." Echo said. "Spirits."
Bee paused. Because, yeah technically he suppose that could be the same thing, but the way Echo said it made him wonder as to how for some reason that was the term they understood.
"Spirits?" Bee repeated.
"Gone sparks." She said. "Sparks that already dead, but seen. Only Spirit Seer see them."
Bee stared at her. "Spirit Seer? What is a Spirit Seer?"
"Can see." Scout replied.
"See what?"
"Truth."
Bee stared at the both of them. Spark calming in its chamber. Almost purring as the word sank in. He didn't completely comprehend what it was the pups were saying, and while he kept asking them to explain there wasn't much more of an explanation the hounds could give him. They seemed to know this simple answer and understand it on a level that Bee couldn't wrap his mind around.
To Scout and Echo it seemed so simple and when he told them the things he had seen, while they didn't get the last thing he described the rest of it didn't seem to bother them at all.
He didn't know what to do next.
He felt better now—for some reason—but he didn't know what any of it meant. More than that though, he didn't know what to do now. Let alone what to do with the sinking suspicion that he was going to be figuring out very soon. Whether he liked it or not.
Roddy froze.
Optics widening, backstrut straightening, armor tightening. He found he could do nothing but stand there and stare. Watching as Magnus pushed himself fully upright, optics locking on his own. Stepping forward a pace only to freeze himself when Hot Rod flinched back from him.
The only reason he didn't take off running again was because of Drift's arms around him. The white mech highlighted in red stopping him before he could flee.
And then they all stood there staring at each other.
For far longer than they should have until Ultra Magnus spoke.
"Roddy,"
That seemed to be all he was capable of saying at the moment. Those light optics fixed down on to Hot Rod's even brighter ones. The two of them staring at each other in the tiny supply closet that was Roddy's new room. The one that still smelt a bit too much like highgrade and now played containment box for fields doing too much flexing in too small a space.
Drift uncurling his arms from Roddy's frame and stepping away almost went without notice. Hot Rod was too busy staring up at the taller commander. It was only when Drift spoke that Roddy realized what was happening.
"I suppose I'll leave you two to it then." The swordsmech was stepping away then. Backing out the door with a twinkle in his optics that Roddy didn't have the processor power at the moment to define. No matter if he had been trying to or not.
He was too busy squeaking like a sparkling and reaching out of his friend. "Drift—"
But the quick cut of those blue optics back into his own stopped him. For a few klicks Roddy didn't get it. Drift . . . Drift was leaving him?
Why?
What had he done wrong now?
Drift . . . Drift had always been there. Since that first intro class at Primus-awful o'clock in the morning when Roddy had almost been late to class and fell into the seat next to him. Having been in such a hurry because his alarm hadn't gone off that he forgot everything. Datapads, textbooks, pens. Everything. Just knowing that he'd already screwed up. That he was already going to get kicked out and Optimus wasn't going to be able to do anything.
Then, this complete strange sitting in the chair next to him pushed his open textbook into the space between them. Surprising Roddy out of his silent panic enough that he looked up into blue optics and a slight smile.
'You can read with me, if you like.' He had said. Smile open and inviting. 'I'm Drift, by the way.'
Disbelief had surged stronger through Roddy in that moment then he knew what to do with, but quietly, with his own smile slipping into place he said back. 'Hot Rod, but everybot calls me Roddy.'
And from that moment a lifelong friendship was born.
But now Drift was walking away. Roddy didn't understand and it must have shown in his optics because Drift smiled that same smile he had the orn they met and nodded reassuring at him. A silent it'll be okay, then he nodded respectfully to Magnus and was gone.
Leaving Roddy standing there just inside the doorway of his new room looking up at the mech who had meant more to him through his life then anybot else ever had. The steady presence that lead him back to center more times than he could count. The steady, sure, and steadfast. The unflinching faith in him he'd never thought he deserved but always secretly craved when he looked into those slightly darker optics.
They looked down at him now with fear, uncertainty, and something that looked remarkably like hope. None of which Roddy got because he'd been expecting anger, disgust, and regret.
It wasn't there though.
Why?
Why wasn't it there?
Magnus opened his mouth again after another handful of klicks. Seeming to have gathered himself if the way he straightened his back and the resolve in his optics was anything to go by, but all of a sudden Hot Rod was terribly afraid of it.
"I'm sorry." The words burst out before he could stop them and they came with a frantic hand movement that if he wasn't the one making he would have made fun off. Because it really did look pretty ridiculous. This odd mix of waving and slashing around in front of his faceplate as he suddenly stepped forward to gaze up Magnus' front.
The bigger mech's optics flashed in surprise at the words. Something dimming in those pools. "You're sorry?"
"Yes." Roddy nodded rapidly, processor slipping and spark sobbing, but he ignored it. This was what had to be done. He would blame the highgrade, and the hangover. That would be believable.
Probably.
Well, it would work well enough. He would call it all an accident and maybe Magnus would forgive him and they could go on like it didn't happen. Roddy would go back to hiding his emotions away in the bottom of his spark. Sitting on them and refusing to acknowledge them and eventually they would go away.
Drift was right about deserving happiness. Well, at least Roddy told himself that. He wasn't sure he completely understood it nor could he except it, but he would nod along with Drift said it all the same. For this though, Drift couldn't be right.
He just couldn't.
So Roddy went on. He swallowed his crying spark and he pressed on.
"Yes, yes, I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean too. It was an accident."
"Accident?" Magnus echoed him. Big shoulders drooping and optics dimming even further. If Roddy didn't know any better he'd say the big mech looked like his spark was slowly shattering. But that . . . that couldn't be right.
"Yeah. Of course." He forged ahead. "Too much highgrade. Hungover. Upset."
Maybe if he said it out loud, he too would believe it.
"It was an accident. I mean come on; I screw up all the time right? Not that hard to believe. It wasn't on purpose. I mean, I wanted too, Primus I wanted too but—"
He cut himself off with a startled choke. Vocalizer freezing up with the realization of what it just allowed his spark to slip out.
No. No, no, no, no, no!
Optics widening in horror he snapped his gaze to Magnus' suddenly widening optics. For a moment something between confusion and shock warred on Magnus' faceplate before slowly it fell away as the big mech picked himself up out of his slump. Optics brightening again and a small tilt of his lips that might possibly be a smile came to life.
Roddy was too busy panicking to take much note of it. Rapidly trying to backtrack he threw his hands up again. Waving them frantically back and forth.
"No! I mean—I was just—I didn't—you see it's totally not—"
Huge, white hands wrapped gently around his flying wrist forcing him to a stop.
Roddy locked up.
Optics darting up to find Magnus' again only to stall at the warmth he found there. The fond smile curling up his lips as the big mech stepped closer.
Roddy didn't realize he was retreating until he found himself backing into the little slab of wall to the left of the door next to the berth. It was instinctual. His frame still afraid and trying to flee even as he stared shocked up at the big mech.
Magnus wasn't letting him go this time though. Normally the big mech let Roddy run when he was flighty, but this time those huge hands stayed wrapped tightly around Roddy's wrist. His huge frame shadowing Roddy there against the wall.
Roddy found his vocal processor and tongue turned to lead. Even if his spark and processor that normally ran a million miles per breem was stalled stuck. Leaving him staring up with wide optics to the larger mech as one of Magnus' hands wrapped fully around Roddy's wrist and the other lifted away.
Slowly, measured, making sure every move was easy to see and clear. He was going to touch, and while he had Roddy held if the smaller mech really wanted out of his grip he could do it. At least he should be able to do it. In all honesty, at the moment, Con could press a blade to his neck and demand movement right now and all he'd be able to do would be stand there limply and stare.
He couldn't tear his optics away from the shine staring down at him. Even with Magnus' hand finally cupped the side of his face. Fingers brushing gently over the edge of his bright yellow crest while his thumb edged the corner of his lips. Not touching those lips, but close enough that Roddy felt his breath catch and then refuse to come out.
At all.
Like he kind of wondered if he was dead. Or dreaming.
Yeah.
Maybe he was dreaming.
Because this could not be happening.
"Oh Roddy," Magnus whispered it so softly that Roddy almost didn't hear it. In fact, if he'd been breathing he probably would have missed it all together, but he didn't miss it. He heard it.
Some piece of his spark started dancing while his processor skipped a beat and he found himself unable to do anything but stare up into Magnus' optics.
"Did you know I had an arranged mating?"
Roddy's draw dropped open.
Because . . . what? He . . . huh?
"What?" He blinked.
That . . . that hadn't been what he was expecting.
Magnus knew that. It was far from the thing he wanted to say right now, but he had too, because he knew what was brewing in Roddy's processor. Under the levels of his horrible habit of thinking he wasn't good enough was an excuse the massive mech knew he would use. And he wasn't going to let him.
No.
Not now.
Not after he just said that.
He was going to get this out of the way right here and now so there wasn't anything else Roddy could hide behind.
"Artemis and I had an arrange mating." He repeated himself, seeing in the younger mech's optics that he didn't understand. He figured he wouldn't. It hadn't been common knowledge. Stuff like that had happened all the time in the society they lived in, it was very common for high chaste to arrange their sparkling's bondings. For political ties, for money, for power, just because they could.
It was the way things were done.
It was common.
It was normal.
It was excepted.
It had never been fair.
But Magnus had been nothing if not a good son. It was all he had striven for in those vorns. To do exactly what was expected of him.
It took a whole lot for him to learn that wasn't the path he wanted to walk and it wasn't the path any should walk.
"You remember arrange bondings don't you?" He asked.
When Roddy nodded slowly he took that as good enough and went on.
"Well that was what my sparkmate and I were. Our creators set up the whole thing before either of us were even born. I never met Artemis until the night of the ceremony."
Roddy blinked at him. Optics comically wide as he slowly shook his head. "But . . . but I thought . . . . You two . . . you . . . ."
"We were complete strangers." Magnus cut him off. "But that was the normal way things were. We did as our creators expected. We bonded, mated, and went on with our lives. Don't get me wrong, she was wonderful. Clever and beautiful. She became my best friend."
Roddy wasn't sure if he should be crying or yelling.
Because . . . what? What was this?
What was happening?
"And I grew to love her, in our own way, very much."
Roddy felt sick.
What . . . why?
He didn't realize there were tears in his optics until that thumb at the edge of his lips lifted to wipe them away. Magnus' bright optics dimming slightly at the sight of them, but what else was the big mech expecting?
Roddy . . . he . . . he loved him and here he was saying this. Everything Roddy knew was the reason he'd never have a chance. Because Magnus had already had a mate. He had already loved and Roddy was nothing but the scrap of a mechling he was stuck looking after.
He was a fool. He was—
"But that was nothing like I love you."
—Hearing things. That was what he was. He was hearing things.
Gaze snapping back up, to widen even more Roddy's jaw dropped back open from where it had sometime snapped close in tension.
"Wh-wh-a?" He squeaked.
Smiling down at him, Magnus' optics shown brighter then Hot Rod ever remembered seeing them as he spoke again. "I love you, Roddy."
For a few klicks nothing happened. All Roddy could do was stand there and stare. Shock making everything in him far too still, but then, his spark started swelling. Joy bursting to life in is center in a flare like a super nova before it started singing.
"You . . . you . . . what?"
He was pretty sure he heard right, at least, he was mostly sure. But he . . . he could so hear it again.
"I love you." Magnus said again.
Feeling the bright beam curling up his lips Roddy whispered. "You do?"
Magnus nodded. "Yes."
Roddy knew he should probably reply. Something along the lines of 'I love you too'. Or that they should have some conversation about these things.
That was probably the responsible thing to do.
Roddy didn't much care for responsible or anything logical at the moment. Instead he surged forward. Almost climbing Magnus' front in the motion of crashing his lips into his. This wasn't like the time before. There was no flare of shock or stillness from the larger.
Oh no.
The flare of energy through his energy field this time was nothing but happiness, disbelief, and something far heavier, want. Roddy stopped noticing after two nanos though. Because Magnus was kissing him back. That massive frame rocking forward as his arms came around. Wrapping tight around Hot Rod as he pressed forward to lock him against the wall.
The happy hum of their sparks surging against their chambers in a gleeful song.
And for my Valentines gift to you all, Roddy and Mags stop being idiots! *throws flowers*
Hope you liked it! ^-^ Thank you all once again for reading and reviewing. I can't wait to see what you have to say about this one! So much important stuff!
By the way, I'm still working on those prompts on both blogs-so, so, so many-I just took a break to get this chapter done. I didn't figure you'd all mind. I'm going to put them up with the other shorts soon and as I get the rest of them done. The challenge is still open, I'm thinking I'll leave it open for a few more days at least.
Anyway, I adore you all. Thanks for reading and I'll see you next time!
-Jaycee