"Connie, can you wrap Ryder's hands?" Hanji instructed Connie.
"Yes!" I sat down on a crate and held out my hands for Connie to wrap.
"I don't think they need to be wrapped." I said to him. Connie pulled my wrist, so my right hand was closer and I slightly flinched at the pain.
"Ryder, you're bleeding a lot. You need to get your hands wrapped." Connie said to me.
"I guess it'll also help with stopping any type of infection." I mumbled. We sat in silence as Connie tried his best to clean off my wounds and wrap them with the bandages that we did have. Maybe we were silent because we were tired? Maybe it was because we didn't know what to say to each other?
"Thanks, Ryder." I looked at Connie with a confused face. "For taking charge today." He clarified.
"I only did what any one of you could have done, Connie. You all did amazing work today. You've made me very proud." I praised him and his teammates.
"I wonder how the others are doing." Connie tied my last bandage and that's when my head snapped towards the wall.
"Levi…" I abruptly stood up and began walking towards the wall. Where is Levi? Is he alive? Is he dead? He said he would only die after I died, so he has to be alive. Levi isn't allowed to be dead. Where is he? I stopped in my tracks and started examining the edges of the wall. My heart start pounding in my chest at the thought of Levi lying on the ground covered in blood and alone.
"Ryder!" I turned around as I heard my name saw Jean and Hanji on the floor while a four-legged titan grabbed Reiner in its mouth. It past by me and I made eyes with the man who was sitting on top of the titan. He wore circular glasses and had a goatee of sorts. His hair was shabby and unkempt. Who was this man? He didn't look familiar.
"Connie! Save your gas! We need to get to Eren and the others!" I heard Hanji tell our squad member. I ran over to Hanji and helped Jean back up onto his feet.
"We should get going." I told Hanji. She nodded her head.
"How much gas do you have?" She asked me.
"Enough to get there." I informed her.
"Okay, I know about your hands, but can you take Sasha on your back there? Connie will have to take me because I don't have any gas left and Jean has enough to get himself there."
"Of course." I quickly jumped up the roof where Sasha was and kneeled down next to her. "Okay Sasha, you're going to get on my back and we're going to get you to the others." I told her. Whether she heard me or not is a different story because her eyes were closed and she was still unconscious. "Connie, can you help me get Sasha onto my back?" Connie helped me place Sasha onto my back and secured her with some spare fabric that we had. I stood at the edge of the roof and looked over at Jean, Connie and Hanji.
"Are we ready?" Hanji asked me.
"Yes!" I nodded my head.
"Then let's move out." She instructed and I followed the three towards the wall. The whole way there I could only think about Levi and where he could be. I bit down on my lower lip to stop myself from crying due to the morbid thoughts that were swirling around in my brain. As we reached closer I saw a blonde haired boy standing to the side of an unconscious blonde haired man. I landed on the roof and could make out that the body that was lying on the roof was Erwin. My eyes quickly darted to Mikasa as I heard her yell at Levi and pounce forward. My right leg began moving forward as I yelled,
"No! Mikasa!" She pulled out her blade and pushed Levi onto his back. She brought up her arm and Hanji quickly swooped in behind her and pulled her back.
"Hanji!" Levi looked surprised to see his comrade. I quickly put Sasha down and walked towards Levi. I took a closer look at the bodies that were lying on top of the roof and saw that Erwin was bleeding profusely, Bertolt was pulled out of his titan form with his arms and legs cut off and Armin was so burnt from the steam that his skin had completed melted off and he was only exposed tissue. My bottom lip began to quiver as my eyes darted from one body to the next. I felt tears begin to gather in my eyes as I looked at the people in front of me – how could this have happened? None of us were supposed to end up like this. My eyes lingered on Erwin's body as my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach. I couldn't believe that Erwin could die at this very moment – we were supposed to go to the basement together. He was a dear friend to me and all I could do was stand there and stare at his body. I was brought back from my thoughts when I heard Mikasa scream.
"Mikasa! We still need Erwin! The Survey Corps has nearly been wiped out! If the Commander dies too…then humanity will lose its symbol! We can't allow the flames of hope to be extinguished within those walls!" Hanji yelled at Mikasa. I looked over and saw the tears cascading down Mikasa's cheeks as she responded,
"But…Armin could do that too."
"Yes, Armin is an incredible talent, but our battle is nowhere near over yet! We still need Erwin's experience and leadership. I have people I wish I could bring back too. Hundreds of them! Ever since I joined the Survey Corps, I've had to say nothing but goodbyes. But you understand, don't you? No matter who you meet, some day you're going to have to tell them goodbye. I don't want to accept that. I can't. I can barely cling to my own sanity knowing that…it hurt. It hurts, I know that. But even so, we need to move forward." Hanji wrapped her arms around Mikasa. Mikasa's face looked so defeated as she stood there crying. She looked as if she had just aged twenty years in those few seconds. I looked up and saw Levi walk towards Erwin with the serum and kneel down until we heard a gasp. Eren had clung to Levi's ankle.
"Captain…have you heard of the ocean?" Eren asked. My mind quickly raced back to the night when Levi and I overheard Armin talking about the ocean to Eren and Mikasa after dinner. "It's like a gigantic lake…that stretches as far as the eye can see. Not only that…apparently it's all made out of salt water…that's what Armin said." Eren was cut off when the other blonde soldier grabbed Eren's arms and pulled him back.
"Hey! Stop it already!"
"Let him go!" I yelled over to the blonde soldier. Everyone turned to look at me as I made my way over to Eren. The blonde soldier had a face filled with terror as he watched him walk in front of him. He let go of Eren and took a few steps back as I glared at him. I kneeled down in front of Eren and placed my hands on his shoulders.
"He said someday we'd go see the oceans on the other side of the walls. But that…was a dream we had as little kids. I'd forgotten it a long time ago…all I had left in my head was hate…getting revenge for my mom…and killing the titans." Eren looked at me with tears falling from his eyes. "He's different, though. Fighting isn't all he has. He dreams too!" There was a moment of silence while a breeze passed by us.
"Everyone, get away from here! I'm having Erwin eat Bertolt, and that's final!" Levi commanded.
"I'm sorry, Eren." I apologized before standing back up.
"Ryder-" I looked over my shoulder to meet eyes with Levi. "I need you to stay." I nodded my head and waited for everyone else to clear the roof. I turned around to look at Levi and I felt a tight feeling in my chest as I did.
"Levi…"
"Ryder, I don't know what to do." With those words I ran over to Levi and wrapped my arms around him. He let go of Bertolt and stood up straight in my embrace. I let go of him and placed my hands on his cheeks.
"You want to bring Erwin back, right?" I asked him. He nodded his head. "Then I will support you in that decision."
"He's the only one who will know how to lead us to victory." Levi told me. I nodded my head and took a step back. Levi grabbed Bertolt by his collar again and dragged him off to the edge of the roof. It was so silent around us. The only thing we could hear was our light footsteps, the slight hissing sound from the steam that Berolt was emulating and the breeze…the light breeze. "Every last one of them…they are like kids…the way they scream and flail." Levi muttered under his breath. I looked up and saw the sun in what felt like years. That same breeze blew past me and left me with a familiar feeling.
"Teacher…" My head snapped in the direction of the familiar voice. I saw that Erwin's arm was raised as he continued to mumble, "How…find out…don't exist?" Levi looked at me with wide eyes as I copied his face.
"Erwin?" I asked as I walked closer to him. My hand found its way onto Levi's shoulder. He looked up at me from his kneeling position. "He looks like he's sleeping, Levi. Like he's finally at peace." Levi's gaze dropped back down to Erwin's body and I think even he noticed what I was seeing.
"He should rest." Levi said as he stood up. I kneeled down next to Erwin and moved a few stray blonde strands away from his pale face.
"You look like you've lost a bit of colour to you." I lightly smiled as I continued to run my fingers through his hair. "I forgot how soft your hair is." I muttered. I leaned down and placed my lips on his forehead. "Thank you, Erwin, for everything."
Then I felt that breeze gently pass by me again. It was warm, soft and gentle. That familiar feeling engulfed my lungs again as I continued to gaze upon my dear friend. Levi would have said that I was crazy, but in that moment, I believed that that breeze was Erwin telling me that he was finally free.
Gave you guys a bit of a longer chapter this time around! Thank you for all the reviews! I really do read them all and cherish them all! I wish I could update weekly again, but Isayama doesn't give me enough to work with! Ughhhhhh