Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer not me.
Author/Note 1: This story is the sequel of Our Dawn 5. For the ones who don't know anything about Our Dawn Series, you can always read Our Dawn 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5, and Our Dawn Series Specials but if you don't want to bother I have a resume on my profile page. As it would be expected this is a next generation story and as such, it's focused on Jake and Leah's children.
A/Note 2: A huge thank you for everyone who reviewed Our Dawn Series so far.
A/Note 3: I'm not a native English speaker so I'm sorry for my grammar and spelling. Thank you for reading.
Alpha
Book III – The Challenger
William Black
43. Repeat
It's funny how you keep telling yourself that you won't make the same mistake twice and then you do it anyways. Then you try to think of an excuse to justify your actions and you fail miserably because there's no valid justification for what you just did. You know you shouldn't have done it and yet you did it and then you have to face the consequences.
I escaped the consequences the first time I slept with Rhea because I blamed it on my drunken state even though I wasn't as drunk as I said I was. I just wanted a safe way out. I didn't feel regrets about sleeping with her but I had a reputation to keep so I cowardly pushed Rhea away breaking her heart in the process.
My friends would mock me for all eternity if I had started dating Rhea back then so I never told a soul about what had happened between us. Only Harry knew. He lectured me a few times for what I had done to Rhea but I was stubborn and ignored the advice he gave me.
That was a mistake. I know that now. I should've listened to my brother when he told me I should go after Rhea when she left our house the morning after we slept together. And because I didn't listen to him, Rhea left La Push and I didn't even have the chance to apologise.
I was an idiot when I was seventeen but I was a bigger idiot now because somehow I had made the same mistake.
History never repeats itself. That was a common saying but in my case it proved to be a complete bullshit.
I shouldn't have let her leave. I thought bitterly closing my eyes and listening to the waves crashing against the rocks at a distance. The ocean was rough so I doubted that any fishing boat would leave La Push's small harbour today.
First Beach was deserted at six in the morning. Most people were still sleeping in their beds at this hour. The sun was about to rise. The black night sky was slowly turning blue and soon it would be morning. Rhea had left a few minutes ago. I woke up when she was putting her clothes on but I didn't tell her I was awake and then she just left without a sound or a word. And it hurt because I knew what it meant.
Regrets. The word itself enraged me. She had left because she had regrets about last night.
The kiss we shared was the beginning of something more powerful, something that neither of us was able to stop though we knew that it was wrong for more reasons than one: first, Rhea was engaged and officially Lex was still my girlfriend; second, there was a crowd in First Beach, not too far from where we were, and amongst that crowd were several wolves with super hearing powers; and third I didn't have any condoms with me since a night of steamy sex with Rhea was the last thing on my mind ever since she had told me she was still going to marry her boyfriend.
I'm so going to kick Uncle Paul's ass. I thought bitterly. A few days ago Uncle Paul had told me that sex was the answer to solve my problems with Rhea. Sex and a kid if I remember his words.
Now I knew why mum was constantly saying he was an idiot. If sex was the answer to my problems why the hell was I alone and half-naked at First Beach? Why had Rhea left me behind?
And if Rhea was feeling regrets about our two-night stand, how would she react if she got pregnant? In fact, how would I feel if I knocked her up?
It's not that easy to conceive. I thought, recalling some of my Biology classes. I had never paid too much attention to what our teachers said but if I could remember correctly conception depended on ovulation and fertility and certain details had to be observed thoroughly for it to happen.
However dad hit the jackpot on the second time he was with mum. Could I have inherited this trait from him? I surely hoped not. Having a kid at my age was not so bad. Dad was eighteen when he became a father. By the time he was my age he aldready had three children. But getting Rhea pregnant while she was engaged to another guy would somehow be a damn nightmare.
I'm freaking out for no reason. Damn it. I took a deep breath to calm down.
There was probably like only a fifteen per cent chance that a girl would end up pregnant when she has sex, even couples trying to have a baby end up trying for months. Besides Rhea was probably taking the pill which meant that I shouldn't be worrying about not having used protection after all I didn't have any STD and I doubted she had one too. Even if she had I wouldn't get sick.
I'm definitely going to kick Uncle Paul's ass later. I decided. Sex was not the answer, actually it probably made everything worse, and there was a very small chance that Rhea could be pregnant. I'm worrying about nothing.
I still had to figure out what to do next. I closed my eyes and I was surprised because I could still feel Reah's touch, her scent and her taste. The wolf inside of me was suddenly anxious. He wanted more. He wanted me to replay last night's events in my mind over and over again.
I tried to focus on something else instead. The sound of the birds on the shore. The wild waves colliding into the rocks. A distant car on the road.
It worked for a half second. The next thing I knew I was picturing Rhea on top of me, taking the lead to show me she wasn't the same Rhea from eight years ago.
We were teenagers then. Neither of us knew exactly what we were doing. I was an overconfident jerk when I was seventeen years old but I remember that my hands were trembling when I took off her underwear and Rhea kept her eyes shut most of the time, opposite last night.
The way she looked at me while we were trying to make up for the lost time made me think that it meant something to her. Something more than just sex. We were so in sync that I lost track of our surroundings especially when she started to chant my name in soft whispers.
Restless moans filled the night air while I took her to the edge. She held me so tightly that there was no space between our bodies, and she kissed me so hard that we almost passed out from the lack of oxygen.
When I tried to slow down, she incited me to go faster. When I tried to tell her I loved her, she hushed me by biting my lip. When I tried to stop after our first round she rolled us over and straddled me only stopping when she was completely satisfied.
The demanding and defying Rhea pleased me for it matched my competitive and impulsive nature. The wolf inside of me had obviously played some part in last night's events because for the first time in many years I could feel both my human and animal parts reaching a balance.
During the time I was with Rhea I forgot where we were, who I was, who she was and all the reasons we shouldn't be doing that. I forgot we were outdoors and only a few miles separated us from our families, I forgot she was going to get married in a few months and I had a girlfriend, I forgot she smelled like beer and would probably forget about this in the morning, I forgot we shouldn't be having sex without wearing protection, I forgot that our families hated each other and I forgot that I had to patrol in a few hours.
Contradictory feelings rushed through my body. My wolf tried to take control but he never succeeded because I remembered what my father had told me years ago when Harry asked him the difference between wolves' sexual and primal instincts and human feelings.
He said that it was like the difference between love and sex. Wolves don't have the ability to love. When they have mates, they just give in to each other's physical needs. They want to claim and reproduce. Love is entirely different. My parents' wolves had mated but it wasn't that bond that had kept them together. It was love.
The question was: was I really in love with Rhea or was this just a product of my wolf's desires?
In that moment I opened my eyes again. The sun was finally up in the sky and I heard voices. A group of teenagers carrying surf boards were approaching the beach. Three boys and four girls. They were too far to see me but I could see them perfectly.
People would be waking up at any moment to begin their daily routines and that was my cue to leave. I had to go back home. I couldn't stay there all day wallowing in self-pity recalling a night of sex with a girl that had abandoned me.
I gathered the rest of my clothes that were scattered in the sand and noticed Rhea had left her leather jacket behind. I took it with me and headed home on foot. I really didn't want anyone in my head right now and I knew that there were probably two wolves running the perimeter.
When I reached home I noticed the house was packed. Mum and dad were out. I had no idea where they were or what they were doing, nor did I care. Isaac's bedroom had been occupied by Quinn, who was snoring lightly. Hannah and her three children were sleeping in Sarah's bedroom while Season and her siblings were in JJ's.
I found a small piece of paper on my bed with Harry's handwriting. It said 'You owe me one.' So my brother had taken my shift. I took clean clothes with me and went to the shower. I didn't want to remove Rhea's scent from my body but I was covered in sand so I didn't have a choice.
After the shower my stomach began to rumble loudly. I needed food. I was about to pour down some coffee when Quinn joined me in the kitchen.
"You back yet?" He grumbled yawning. "I thought you were on patrol duty."
"I'm William, you moron."
"Oh… sorry. Your brother said you wouldn't be coming back anytime soon so I assumed you were him."
"He was clearly wrong."
Harry probably thought that a night of mind-blowing sex would convince Rhea that I was the right man for her but I guess Rhea needed more from me besides sexual gratification. She needed to be able to trust me and I guess I hadn't done anything yet to deserve it.
Fuck. Overanalysing this isn't getting me anywhere.
"Hey, Will… your toast is burning."
So is my brain. I thought miserably taking a burnt piece of bread from the toaster and tossing it to the garbage.
"Do you know where my parents are?"
"I heard them leave the house a few minutes before your brother."
"Which direction did they take?"
"East."
In that case they had gone to the Cullens. I had a feeling that something was going on. Something they weren't telling us but right now I didn't have the patience or even the interest on finding out.
"Your mother is awesome." Quinn said calling my attention.
Having a mother who looked about ten years younger her age had turned out to be quite upsetting. No problem came from that when we were kids but as soon as we reached our teenage years things changed considerably. Let's just say that teenage boys are assholes whose brains are focused on sex 99.9% of the time.
When Harry and I were sixteen we caught Yancy Armstrong spying on our mother on more than one occasion. It ended up with my fist on his face after the third time. And even our closest friends used to tease us about it. We used to hear comments like "Your dad is a lucky bastard" or "I wouldn't mind being harassed by an older lady if it was your mother" all the time. Fortunately our friends never pushed our buttons too much otherwise things would've gone really bad for them.
"My mum is twice your age." I warned Quinn. "So I suggest you keep your little fantasies to yourself if you want to live."
"Oh, no, I didn't mean that…" He said immediately with embarrassment. "I was talking about the way she faced the other lady… Vanessa… I think that was her name. She was about to rip her a new one."
I studied him squinting my eyes and decided he was actually being sincere, so I let it go.
"Mum and Vanessa hate each other. I never really understood why."
Harry had told me recently that he suspected Vanessa had had a crush on our father in the past but he wasn't really sure and I didn't press the subject because I really didn't care about whom Vanessa White had liked when she was younger.
"It was something about the Council." He explained.
I simply shrugged. I couldn't care less about the Council or its members but Quinn was probably right because ever since Hal had been admitted into the Small Council, Vanessa and Rhonda White had decided to turn every meeting into an argument. No wonder mum wanted to bitch slap her all the time.
Women… They turn our lives a misery but we can't seem to live without them.
One hour, twenty-five minutes and fourteen seconds was the time I spent in front of the TV, changing channels non-stop after breakfast. Quinn was now in the shower and soon the other people sleeping in our house would start waking up. I realised then that I was inside of a house with strangers.
I knew who they were but I didn't know them for real. Quinn was a decent kid. He reminded me of Isaac. Right now he was a wolf without a pack but I didn't doubt that sooner or later he would submit to Isaac's leadership.
I'm a fucking loser. I thought when I realised that all the new wolves had chosen my younger brother as their leader. Maybe I'm not alpha material. Maybe everyone's right about me. I'm not fit to lead. I'd only cause more trouble. I mean I'm not even capable of keeping my mate.
The wolf inside of me was displeased with my thoughts. He seemed to think that I should be an alpha soon. It was my birth right as much it was Isaac's or Harry's. Actually Harry and I had equal claims while Isaac was only dad's third son. I should be alpha before him.
I can always leave the pack and go rogue. Let's face it Isaac's got a pack, Harry's got a girlfriend and I've got shit so why not start a pack of my own?
"Good morning." A female voice came from behind me. "I thought I've heard some noise downstairs."
I turned my head and watched Season coming to join me in the living room.
"I'm sorry. Did I wake you up?" I pushed the mute button on the remote.
"No, you didn't wake me up. Quinn did. He's singing in the shower."
We both laughed.
"I never knew the Gladstones had relatives in the Quileute's reservation." She said taking a seat on the couch next to me.
"They don't." I was suddenly aware that we had no back up story to tell people about Quinn's presence in La Push. "He's just a family friend. My cousin Ella used to tutor him."
"Oh… Ella Uley…" Season whispered spiking up my curiosity.
"You know my cousin?"
Season raised her eyebrows. "Who doesn't?" She inquired. "Ella is a celebrity in the Makah Reservation. She's perfect in everything she does. She helps her grandparents, her neighbours and she still has time to run the Makah People Native-American Heritage Council while still keeping her job."
Ella was a very determined and ambitious girl. She had earned a scholarship and entered the community college where she had studied Law. Four years later she had graduated and began working part-time in a Law firm but she had never stopped helping at home.
"Yeah, so I've heard." I said.
"Plus… her cinnamon muffins are legendary." Season commented with a small trace of sarcasm.
"You don't seem to like Ella very much."
"Of course I like her. She's a good person." Season stated immediately. "But I'm allergic to cinnamon."
I smiled with that comment and its implications. My cousin was perfect but not in everyone's eyes.
We were in silence for a while. I noticed Season was wearing one of my brother's t-shirts. It almost reached her knees. I had never thought that a fake relationship would actually turn real, especially when Harry was involved.
My brother wasn't shy with the ladies but he was a bit uptight. He didn't jump into relationships like I did. He was more careful because he knew we could imprint any second and he didn't want to hurt anyone.
But somehow with Season he was different. He was bolder and more spontaneous. They knew each other only for a couple of weeks or so but she was definitely a good influence on him. Maybe better than I was.
"I'm sorry about last night." I said suddenly. "I never meant to kiss you. Not that you're not pretty or attractive… it's just that you're my brother's girlfriend and I should've shown a little more of respect for the both of you."
"Did you get her to notice?"
"Harry told you?" I asked surprised and angry at the same time. Harry had no right to tell other people about this.
"He didn't have to. I saw the look on her face when she saw you speaking to Hannah."
"She did notice but… things didn't go well."
Actually everything failed except for the sex part. I was tempted to say.
"Why?"
"I hurt her a long time ago. She doesn't trust me."
"But she's in love with you." It wasn't a question.
"It doesn't matter. She doesn't want to sacrifice what she has now for someone like me."
"So, you're giving up?"
Interesting question. I didn't know the answer though.
"Maybe it's better this way."
"It's never better when you're not with the person you love." She stated matter-of-factly. "Are you sure there's nothing you can do to make her change her mind and trust you?"
There was but I couldn't be sure Rhea would accept the truth that easily.
"Maybe… but it might blow up in my face instead." I admitted.
"If you love her as much as she loves you, she'll worth the risk."
"How do you know she really loves me?"
"I know the look on people's face and they're in love."
"Good morning. I thought you were coming home later." Harry greeted standing behind us. I had felt him approaching for a couple of minutes.
Season and I got up and turned to face him. I noticed the way they looked at each other. Her eyes were suddenly alight just by seeing my brother there. As for Harry, I had never seen him look at a girl like that. Their relationship was a fake but their feelings were definitely real.
People in love. I thought with amusement. Season was right; it was easy to identity people in love especially when they were right in front of me.
I moved to the door quickly. I was going to try to fix things with Rhea one last time.
"Where are you going?" Harry asked me when I passed him by.
"Thanks for covering for me during patrol. I'm going to try to fix things between me and Rhea." I replied with a smile. "And you… please just sleep with Season already. The sexual tension between you two is killing me." I whispered.
Harry turned bright red and diverted his eyes from the girl wearing his t-shirt. I grinned. My brother was clueless sometimes. Could he not see Season wanted him? How could he be so damn blind?
"Just remember there are kids in the house." I teased him.
"Just shut up!" Harry growled.
I left through the front door laughing.
It took me a few minutes to reach Rhea's house. By then my smile had already died being replaced by a weary expression. How was I supposed to tell Rhea that she was my mate? How could I make her believe in me without traumatizing her for life?
But Season was right. I owed Rhea the truth about what had happened eight years ago and about who I really was.
I can start by telling her the legends. I tried to draw a plan before knocking on the door. Then I'll explain my shapeshifting abilities and if she doesn't freak out maybe I can show her my wolf form.
I was so wrapped up on my thoughts that I didn't notice the smell of fuel immediately and when I did, something was already on fire.
I burst inside the house without knocking and found Rhea standing on her small backyard with an empty container on one of her hands and a box of matches on the other. On her feet a small pile of unidentified items was burning sending a cloud of dark smoke into the air.
"What the hell are you doing?" I asked her. She jumped when she heard my voice but didn't falter.
The scent of the black smoke wasn't enough to hide the scent of wildflowers of Rhea's shampoo. She had showered and was now wearing a navy blue sweatshirt and black jeans.
"Get out, William." She said quietly, watching the fire consume the items on the floor.
"Are you trying to burn your house down or something?"
"Why are you here?"
"I was walking by and decided to come over." I replied with sarcasm. Rhea took the hint because she finally turned to face me. "You know why I'm here." I added now more seriously. "Though I wasn't expecting to find you setting shit on fire after last night..."
"How were you expecting to find me?"
I shrugged and put my hands in my pockets.
"Why did you leave?" I wasn't supposed to talk about last night before telling her the truth but I just couldn't help it.
"Why should I have stayed?" She shot back. "You did the same the first time, didn't you?"
"So… this was what? A payback?"
"No… Don't be so conceited."
"I think I'm entitled to be conceited. If I remember correctly you enjoyed every second of our night together."
"I don't want to talk about it." She said blushing.
"What do you want to talk about then? The weather?" Things were getting out of hand again. "Or maybe you're going to tell me you don't remember what happened because you were drunk."
"I don't need to copy your lame excuses William. I know what I did… what we did… that's why I'm leaving as soon as my mother returns."
"You're leaving?" I couldn't fake my surprise upon hearing that.
"I can't stay here. Not after last night."
"Why?"
Rhea rolled her eyes and walked inside the house. I followed her closely to her bedroom. It looked like a hurricane had hit the place. Honestly my bedroom hadn't look like that not even in its worst days.
I noticed she had her things packed and a few items on boxes to return the sender.
"Are you going to run back to your fiancé's arms?"
"Of course not!" She spat. "What do you think I am? Do you really think I can just go back to Art after what I did to him?"
"Okay…" I put my arms up in the air in surrender. "So… does that mean the wedding is off?"
If looks could kill, I'd be dead. I guess I was being a bit rude but I needed a confirmation.
Rhea shoved me out of her way taking several envelopes with wedding invitations from her desk. She went to the backyard again and threw them into the fire.
"Does that answer your damn question?" She pointed to the small fire where the white envelopes were turning into ashes.
"Where are you going?" I asked trying to repress a grin. I was feeling a bit bad about what had happened but at least she wasn't getting married anymore. Now all I had to do was to convince her to stay.
"Anywhere but here."
"You don't have to go."
Rhea stared at me again with that fierce look that made me fear for my life.
"It's pretty obvious that I can't trust myself when I'm near you, so I have to leave."
"Is that such a bad thing?"
"YES!" She yelled. "Yes, it is! I was engaged! I was going to get married! Art didn't deserve this!"
She was having regrets just like I thought she would. I should be having them too since I hadn't officially broken up with Lex yet but I wasn't because I'd always known deep inside that Lex was only meant to be a brief romance.
It lasted more than it should.
"Last night proved that you have feelings for me. Why don't you just accept it?"
"I've accepted that already but that doesn't mean I'm willing to put myself through…"
"Through what?" I pressed when she hesitated.
"The heartache of losing you to another person." She finally said.
"Losing me? Wasn't I clear enough last night?" I asked her. "I've been trying to tell you that we belong together ever since you came back from Seattle. I know I acted like an asshole sometimes but I made it pretty clear that I'm in love with you. Last night…"
"Last night won't mean a thing if you imprint, William! So I'm leaving and that's final."
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Karisan