Chapter 5:

Sam lay staring up at the ceiling of his room, the sound of silence pressing down on him, his heart pounding. He'd woken up covered in sweat and panting to refill his lungs with much needed air. He was used to the nightmares, even before Dean's disappearance. - Though since his brother had vanished into thin air they'd slowly been getting worst. He was still staring into the darkness when he heard the door slowly begin to open. He expected himself to react, knew he should, but part of him just didn't care at that moment. If something was there to kill him, let it.

He did briefly worry about Claire and Gabriel, fearing for their safety, but before he could do anything he heard a soft familiar whisper of concern.

"Sammy?"

Sam swallowed, squeezing his eyes closed tight. Every time he was called Sammy it hurt, cut deeply. - But at the same time it eased the pain. Though he'd never tell Gabriel that, the ex-archangel was already too friendly. - Which in itself freaked Sam out. Not because of Gabriel's behaviour, but his own reaction to it. The feeling that he couldn't or didn't want to name.

When the bed dipped beside him, he almost argued. He almost yelled and punched, but his chest ached and the silence was too much. So he just let the ex-archangel position himself in the bed beside him and waited to see what happened next.

But nothing happened. Gabriel just turned onto his side, facing away from Sam and remained silent. The warmth rolled off his body and seeped into Sam's marrow, though they didn't touch. The only sound in the room was that of calming, gentle breathing that was not his own. Focusing on that, Sam allowed it to comfort him back to sleep. Thankfully a calmer, warmer, less blood soaked sleep.

_What Doesn't Kill You_

Sam inhaled deeply as sleep slowly receded and the real world began to take hold. A warmth was spread across his chest and thighs, the familiar warmth of a body close by. With his mind still fogy from sleep Sam pressed closer to the heat, his arm tightening around the body in front of him. There was a soft moan and then silence. A heavy silence that felt almost suffocating. When the warm body pulled cautiously away, the bed dipping, Sam forced himself to crack an eye open. He didn't know who his sleep-addled brain was expecting to see, but it wasn't Gabriel.

His heart leapt into his throat at the sight of ex-archangel slowly walking away from him, heading for the bedroom door. Sam opened his mouth to demand to know what the hell was going on, only to suddenly remember the night before, the horrific dream and the way Gabriel had snuck into his room to, what Sam could only imagine, was offer comfort.

Sam waited, expecting Gabriel to say something, make some ill-timed joke on his way out of the room, but instead the man simply pulled the door gently closed behind him, leaving Sam staring after him, bemused.

As the bedroom door clicked closed Sam rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling, his heart pounding in his chest. He hadn't slept so soundly in years, and that terrified him. Not even Dean's presents had allowed him to fully give himself over to rest. Yet here with Gabriel he'd found himself waking feeling like the past eight years of his life hadn't happened. Like the whole thing had been a dream.

Sam pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes closed trying to block it all out, before rolling once more onto his side, facing the window that was filled with morning light. Wanting to hide from everything in the abyss of sleep Sam flipped himself away from the daylight and pressed his face into the pillow, only to be overwhelmed by the scent of Gabriel. Growling angrily to himself, he tugged the pillow from beneath his head and threw it across the room, turning his face into the mattress. But the scent lingered and with it the uneasy feeling in Sam's gut.

_What Doesn't Kill You_

It was another two hours before Sam could bring himself to leave his bed. He slowly took the stairs, his heart pounding the closer he got to the living room. He could already hear Gabriel and Claire chatting and laughing casually. Inhaling deeply he stepped off the bottom step and walked through the room on his way to the kitchen, trying to act nonchalant and not draw either of their attention.

"About time you got your ass out of bed." Gabriel laughed from the couch.

Sam paused, closing his eyes and waiting for the inevitable.

"We've got a barbeque in an hour. - Don't you think you should shower and shave." Gabriel said indifferently.

Sam turned to look at the man only to find his attention back on Claire, frowning at the lack of back-handed remarks, of teasing and eyebrow action. It was as if Gabriel didn't remember what had happened the previous night or that morning. Which he knew wasn't true. Gabriel just wasn't…..using it, and that made Sam more uncomfortable.

He turned back to head to the kitchen, pouring himself a cup of strong coffee. He took his time drinking it and when the mug was empty he poured himself another. With a fresh cup in hand he inhaled a fortifying breath and headed out of the small tidy kitchen towards the stairs. He spared a glance at the couch and found Gabriel still focused solely on Claire and whatever she was reading.

_What Doesn't Kill You_

"Gabriel!" Annabelle called the moment they stepped out of the rusted pick-up truck.

Sam slammed the door and glared over at the ex-archangel as he waved enthusiastically at the approaching woman. Claire at his side, a bright smile spread across her face. Inhaling slowly Sam braced himself for an hour or two of awkward conversations and tension.

"Sorry we're a little late, Sammy just wouldn't stop fussing with his hair." Gabriel grinned, handing over the pie he'd baked that morning. - It was actually the third. The previous two having burnt to a crisp.

Annabelle shot a glance at Sam. An odd expression on her face like she was figuring something out, and Sam didn't like to think about what that might be. "It's fine. I understand completely. - Come meet everyone. Claire, Jinny's in the house with the others if you want to go inside. I don't know what they're doing." she smiled at Gabriel as Claire paused to look between Sam and the ex-archangel before rushing off to join the 'others'. "And honestly, remembering what it was like being a sixteen years old, I don't want too." she laughed, tugging on Gabriel's sleeve, the man laughing just as enthusiastically.

Sam tightened his jaw and followed reluctantly behind the pair. His memories of being sixteen weren't anything like what he imagined Annabelle's to be. His had been filled with horrors beyond imagination. He glanced towards the house. He didn't want Claire to live his life and he was pretty damn sure that her parents wouldn't want that either.

"Everyone." Annabelle's voice pulled him from his thoughts. "This is Gabriel and Sam Winchester." she introduced, waving an arm at them. "And that is their daughter Claire." she pointed as the girls appeared for a few moments.

"Hi-diddli-ho neighbours." Gabriel chuckled, giving a random wave. "I'm not actually his husband…yet." He grinned, winking up at Sam.

Sam forced an awkward smile, shifting his body uncomfortably. He stiffened completely when Gabriel wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him close, grinning almost manically at the group, exchanging hello's so naturally no one would ever believe that Gabriel wasn't human.

*_*/\*_*

The next four hours were the most awkward of his life, yet strangely enjoyable. Annabelle's husband was a decent enough guy, along with a couple of his buddies, Sam had to admit he was surprised by their warm reception. He hadn't expected to be welcomed so easily with everyone thinking he was gay and not only in a relationship with another man, but raising a teenage daughter to boot.

He was pretty ashamed of himself in all honesty, he'd judged them before meeting them. Just because certain parts of the US, namely the Bible belt had a reputation for being bigoted, didn't mean every small town was like that. The twenty-first century had reached a large proportion of the country after all, and it wasn't like he hadn't met his fair share of people over the last few years that had assumed - Very wrongly. - that he and Dean were something other than brothers. It seemed to be a common misconception that had never really bothered him, not like it did Dean. So he wasn't overly sure why he'd flipped his shit over Gabriel telling the town that they were together. It wasn't like he hadn't just blurted something out when put on the spot, and had been the sensible thing to do.

Sam excused himself to visit the bathroom, after having a twenty minute conversation with Harvey, Annabelle's husband, about big game hunting. Passing Claire in the den, he paused to watch her for a few moments as she talked in hushed voices with a couple of other girls, seemingly normally. They all looked up at his appearance and smiled awkwardly. He nodded back at them and turned, carrying on to the bathroom. He didn't fail to hear the wave of giggles ringing behind him.

After dealing with his bladder Sam washed his hands, then paused to stare at himself in the mirror. He suddenly wondered if maybe Gabriel had had a point when he'd made the call to lie about them being a modern family. Would he have been so against the lie if Gabriel hadn't been….well, Gabriel? Was Gabriel right, was he being…a superficial jerk? - Would he have been so obstinate if Gabriel had looked more like Brad Pitt or Huge Jackman?

Staring at his reflection he tried to answer that question but couldn't. How was he meant to? All he knew was that Gabriel got beneath his skin, and he wasn't even sure whether it was in a good or bad way. Bad. Most definitely bad. That night in the motel proved that. When he was left alone, without his big brother to watch out for him, to keep him on track, he made back choices. The thousand Tuesday, Ruby and that year with Samuel taught him that.

And whatever it was that he was feeling towards Gabriel, it was just because he was lost at sea with no anchor. He didn't have Bobby or Dean to keep him in line. That's all it was. Loneliness and bad judgement.

Splashing cold water on his face, Sam vowed to himself that he was going to just ignore it. All of it. Gabriel's jibs and lies, as well as whatever it was running around in his head and making him do stupid things like kissing the son of a bitch. He straightened, wiped his hands and face, took a deep breath, then made his way back out to the barbeque.

Standing in the French doors he watched as Gabriel laughed, joked and flirted with the leggy brunette who'd been eyeing him almost from the moment she'd arrived three hours ago. Annabelle's cousin, Rita. As Sam watched, the woman leant further into Gabriel, her hand sweeping over his arm as she leant forward and whispered something into the man's ear.

Sam wasn't even aware he was clenching his jaw until a sharp pain shot through it. Before he even realized it he was calling for Claire and making his way over to Annabelle.

"Sammy?" Gabriel frowned.

"Thank you for having us, Annabelle. Really it's been a wonderful afternoon, but I'm afraid we should be going." Sam shook the woman's hand before shaking that of her husband. "Claire, come on, we're leaving now!" he could feel Gabriel's eyes burning into him as he headed for the truck.

"Sorry. I….hopefully we can do this again, maybe over at our place. - Harvey. Rita." Gabriel nodded. Kissing Annabelle's cheek, he stormed off to catch up with Sam.

Sam already had the engine running when Claire and Gabriel climbed into the large front seat. The moment the doors closed, he reversed out of the large country drive and headed in the direction of the house.

"Okay, Sammy, what the hell? I was having a good time."

"I could tell." Sam snapped through gritted teeth, his attention focused on the road ahead of him.

"What's that meant to mean?" Gabriel demanded sharply.

"It means you and Rita were getting along perfectly." He grunted, fingers tight around the wheel.

"What, you jealous?" Gabriel chuckled.

Sam's head snapped around to glare at the shorter man. "No. But we can't afford anyone sniffing around, and considering this whole 'relationship' thing was your idea, it would probably be better if you didn't try to seduce every girl in town."

"What can I say?" Gabriel sneered, glaring across at the hunter. "If I'm not getting any at home, I have to look elsewhere."

Sam's face tightened with fury, his knuckles whitening on the steering wheel. "Just keep it in your damn pants!" he said in a dangerous whisper. "We don't need the attention."

"Maybe I do."

"Then you stay here, and we'll move somewhere else."

"If you think I'm letting you fuck off to god knows where with Claire, you've got another thing coming Pal!" Gabriel yelled.

"Then do what I say."

The truck swerved onto the dirt lane that lead to the house. The moment the vehicle stopped Gabriel threw open the door and jumped out, storming up to the house, slamming inside. Sam tried to breathe slowly, closing his eyes and resting his forehead on the wheel, until he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. Groaning he straightened and turned to meet Claire concerned, and almost pained gaze.

"Shit." Sam growled before remember he wasn't alone. "Sorry, Claire." he sighed pitifully. "I…." he shook his head, unable to explain what was currently going through his head.

Claire returned his sigh as she shuffled towards the door and climbed out, leaving Sam alone to stare after the pair and ask himself over and over why he'd been so angry.

_What Doesn't Kill You_

Sam was both surprised and resigned when he heard his bedroom door open. He didn't remember having another dream, in fact he couldn't even remember falling asleep. He'd spent the last few hours, he was sure, staring up at his ceiling. He wasn't really thinking about anything, at least nothing he could actually pin down. His mind was pretty much a buzz with thoughts and confusion.

After they'd returned from the barbeque, Gabriel had barely said to words two him. - Okay, they'd been practically giving each other the silent treatment for days, if he were honest, but this time was different. It felt different. Harsher. Colder. Gabriel had taken up residence in the kitchen, leaving him to watch TV alone. Clare had sort respite from the tension in her room for most of the day, only venturing down to grab a drink or something to eat. He couldn't even say what they were arguing about. Yeah he'd harshly pulled Gabriel up on his behaviour with the young woman at the party but he was just pointing out the mess Gabriel could easily get them all into. That was all it was.

His breath caught in his throat as he heard the distant sound of the door closing, and then footstep making their way towards the bed. He closed his eyes before he saw Gabriel, released the breath and slowly rolled over onto his side, facing the wall. The bed dipped a moment later and he felt the covers being tugged off him a little. Strangely he didn't fight Gabriel's attempt to steal more of the blanket, or demand to know what the man was doing in his room. - Again.

Instead Sam simply relaxed his body, savouring the extra warmth the man's body brought to the bed and let sleep drag him under, the sound of Gabriel gentle breathing paving its way.

_What Doesn't Kill You_

Sam tightened his arm around the warmth that lay pressed to his chest. His face turned into the soft skin, the sweet scent of honey filling his nose. He wasn't fully awake yet, clinging onto the edges of a dream he couldn't quiet keep in focus. Despite that he knew he was aroused and that there was a warm body fitted snugly against his.

His hips rolled forward, rubbing up against the firm buttocks of his bed mate, his mouth worked the warm skin of their shoulder. Slowly the inviting rear moved back to meet him, increasing the hardness of Sam's dick and making him thrust frantically.

A deep moan rumbled beneath Sam's arm and he instinctively tightened his hold. He felt the turn of his bed partners head, seeking out the contact of his mouth and he instantly turned to meet it. Their lips slid naturally against one another, the kiss intense and deep. So swallowed up by it Sam paid little attention to the strap of stubble, rough against his chin. He was just so lost in the ocean of sensation. Fingers combed possessively through Sam's hair, tugging lightly. Sam moaned, his hips rocking more insistently forward, grinding hard against the backside of his bed partner, filling the room with a rough hoarse moan that wasn't his.

Caught in the riptide of lust, Sam's hand began its decent down the warm body in front of him. Beneath his palm soft, well-worn fabric began to ride up exposing more hot flesh to Sam's touch. Hair tickled his palm, but he didn't pay it any attention. Strange fingers wrapped smoothly around his wrist, guiding it south, till his heated hand found rock hard muscle.

It took a few seconds for it to seep into Sam's mind what he was touching, and in that time he groped and stroked at it, inhaling deeply as its owner pressed back against his own painfully hard dick. Then it was there, jolted to first position by a rough desperate groan.

Then he remembered. Where he was, who he was with, and he reacted. Leaping backwards off the bed, flushed, breathless and angry. The force of his movement causing Gabriel to hit the floor. Sam stood on the other side of the iron bedstead, his hands shaking, sweat licking at his spine and his pants tenting humiliatingly. His eyes burned as Gabriel staggered to his feet and stared at him with fury mirrored in every inch of his features.

"What the fuck!" Gabriel yelled.

"I was about to ask you the same!"

Gabriel stared at him, mouth slightly gaping as if he didn't quite understand what the man was talking about.

"What are you doing in my bed?" Sam snapped, feigning ignorance.

"Don't stand there and act like you didn't know, dickhead."

Sam's jaw tightened. He wanted to argue. Wanted to continue lying about the whole thing.

"And don't act like the innocent party here, you were the one sucking on my neck like a damn vampire, and whose dick was trying to crawl up my ass!"

"I was dreaming! - About Jessica." Sam hated the way that lie rolled off his tongue. He hated using the name of his dead girlfriend as a smoke screen. - He hated that it was a lie.

Gabriel's eyes bored into him, and that spark of vengeful angel lit up. "Right." he murmured dangerously.

Sam waited for him to argue some more, to call him on the lie, but Gabriel did neither, he just turned his back and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Sam demanded before thinking.

Gabriel paused at the door, his hand on the handle. "I'm leaving obviously. Don't worry Sam, I won't be invading your personal space again." he said far too quietly as he pulled the door open and stepped through.

Sam lingers only a few seconds before rushing towards the door. In the hall he saw Claire, blurry eyed, in the doorway of her room. Gabriel's grey t-shirt vanishing down the stairs.

"What's wrong?" Claire asked sleepily. "What happened?"

Sam wasn't sure what got to him more, the fact that they'd woken Claire, or that she didn't seem all that surprised or disturbed by Gabriel's presents in his room. "Nothing. Go back to bed." he murmured, walking past her to go after Gabriel. Though he had no idea why he was bothering.

"Sam?" she said, her voiced filled with renewed concern.

Sam paused at the stairs and looked back at her. "It's fine. I promise. Just go back to bed." it was still too early.

Claire nodded once before vanishing back into her room and closing the door. As soon as he heard the click of the latch, he was down the stairs. Looking around he found no sign of the ex-archangel and turned towards the kitchen. - But that was empty too. Clearly he'd left the house and Sam felt a spark of guilt, regret and concern, which only added to the anger he was feeling. He dropped down onto one of the kitchen chairs and let his head fall into his hands unsure who he was actually angry at.

No, that wasn't true. He was angry at himself. He couldn't really blame Gabriel, after all the man was right, he'd started it. Which was the problem. He should have told Gabriel to get out of his room that first night. He sound have yelled then and told the man where the line was. - Hell, he should have kicked him to the curb after what happened in that motel room. But he hadn't, because he was alone again and hurting, and confused. And he made bad choices when he was like that. That was how he'd ended up with Ruby wasn't it? Because he'd lost Dean and she'd offered him comfort and support, and the chance at revenge.

Yeah, if anyone was to blame for this, it was him. - And maybe Dean, for dragging him back into this life. Though he knew now that he would have always ended up on this path. It was God's plan after all. Right?

Sam scrubbed at his face, lifting his head and glancing at the clock on the wall. 6:23 am. He needed to clear his head. He needed to get away from Gabriel before he found himself deeper in another disastrous mess. Pushing himself out of the chair he headed back to his room and snatched his cell off the nightstand, scrolling through his contact list.

When Garth's voice echoed down the line he felt the weight lift. "Hey man. You go anything?" he asked the second Garth paused.

A/N: Sorry it's been so long. Hope you like. Feedback is always appreciated, thank you.