Swaying sluggishly, the army of the love-sick undead scattered without any clear direction to head to. Miscellaneous objects were thrown around and kicked at. Grumble, grumble, coarse voices would mingle from these people's loose smiles. Some were aggressive, as Gintoki feared and observed behind the trash bags, angling his body away from the slithering hands eager for a neck to clutch on. A grim shadow of fate covered the permhead's face. N-No-Nothing worse will happen if I hide, right? Or, maybe, I can just act as if I'm one of their kin. It works in zombie stories, didn't it? Alright, I should be fine!

And so were the thoughts of the naive. Until his bloodshot eyes witness the death of an honorable man.

Said honorable man did exactly as Gintoki thought. Pink heart-shaped cookies glued on his eyelids, painted his quivering lips with a cherry-flavored candy, and somewhat transformed into a Walking Madao in seconds = A perfect impersonation! What bravery, such courage! But Gintoki could only feel his pale face cringe at the conclusion of the battle. What loss, such defeat! We shall make peace for this one's last moments, offering silence for the honorable man's sacrifice.

"Unfortunately, the experimental drugs they ingested are powerful. They can immediately differentiate those who are affected and from their would-be victims upon seeing them." Gintoki blinked. He accidentally let go of the garbage cover and heard two hard thump's! Searching the dim lighting within the huge garbage bin, his eyes met silver orbs glinting and shining in the dark. Sarutobi Ayame continued, ignoring the growing bulge atop their heads. "But no matter what happens, even if you turn into a skinny, white, awkward, undead teenager, both of us can still have W*rm B*die- GWAH!"

The stalker landed on the trash bags beside the garbage bin. Gintoki vehemently scoffed, a bulbous vein on his temple and neck as he screamed, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SCARING ME FOR?! NOT THAT I'M SCARED THOUGH!"

"Ah, such violence..." Everyone could see that there's no use talking nonsense to this blushing woman. And so, he cleared his throat and started anew with a sensical conversation, as if his outburst was a fog meant to fade away into nothing.

"You said something about drugs? Since you know about this, is the government involve- GINTAMAN OF THE DEAD!" Our lame hero seemed to forget the current predicament he is in. Once honorable, now degraded with the nauseous infection, a man grabbed Gintoki's scarf with the former's lips puckered up.

Gintoki escaped with a kick trembling in rage- definitely not fear, you hear?! -and proceeds to pull Ayame's scarf, dragging her with him. "A-Ah, Gin-san! Starting with hardcore foreplay already? Ah, while my heart trembles so, I must-"

"Stop talking nonsense already! Tell me everything about this drug and help me escape!" Cold sweat began to pour from his skin as he asks, "Will children be affected by this outrageous scene?"

Ayame felt her lips curl up. He'll be a good father to our kids! "Only those who are old enough, specifically those 18 years of age and above. Now, put this on, Gin-san. We'll be able to escape this together and find a train to bu-"

"OI, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?! ISN'T THIS SOME PASTA OR SOMETHING?! ACK, IT STINKS! WHAT DOES THIS DO ANYWAY?!" The ninja balanced Gintoki on her arms as she evaded the jealous, hungry individuals. Upon noticing the change in scenery, his eyes squinted and a nerve appeared under the deformed wig. "AND WHERE THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?! THIS IS NOT THE TIME FOR YOUR S&M HOBBY, YOU M!"

"No, you misunderstand me, Gin-san. We will just spend time together until you become infected with my love in peninsu- BWAHGRAK!"

Busy explaining herself, Ayame hasn't able to avoid the disturbance in her landing, causing them to crash on a window. Within the empty room of the building lie three people yet to be affected by the drugs. Gintoki caressed his head while Ayame sprained her leg. Both glared at the shaggy ninja miserably clutching on his butt. Still kneeling to save his butt the pain, Hattori Zenzou trembled before his childhood friend. Another idiot has joined their small party.

"W-What! I already gave it to you! Who would wear that, anyway?!" He halts when he sees Gintoki. "Hm, only you would bear the embarrassment to wear that, I guess."

"She forced me into this! I'll rip this off if only it wasn't glued like a sticky dumpling on my head!"

A boot forcefully pushed Zenzou's butt down. "And whose fault is that, you fugly hunter?"

"I- Forgive me." Zenzou let out a long breath once she limps towards Gintoki. "Why were you in my place, anyways..."

"Killer Mode: On!"

"Alright, alright! I'm sorry! I won't ask anymore! You can do anything in my house!"

"Huh? You did this in his house?"

Ayame turned to him with a smile on her face. "Yes, Gin-san! That man's house is so boring and empty that I could hide these things from the government's eyes! The funds at the back of his closet really helped too!"

"Oi, oi, oi, what's with this favoritism? And what funds?! Did you go through my things again?!"

Before they could continue with their nonsense conversation, a continuous banging on the door caught their attention. Gintoki took a peek out the window and grunted. "Are we the only unaffected ones in the area? That crash must've been a good thing for them, those, uh, what? Five chapters in and we got no name for them."

"Just a few days ago in the den of some corrupted government officials, what's left of Harusame pirates introduced a certain substance rich in Vitamin B and have similar properties with an aphrodisiac. It is not properly scientifically studied yet so I have limited information."

"Gametoogen, a drug I was ordered to collect in Yoshiwara along with a supposed counterdrug. Orders from some sinister-looking dog wearing the nation's seal." The hemorrhoids ninja interjected while still struggling to stand up. "It would not be far off if they hid it somewhere as indecent as that place. This is as good as World War G, don't you think?"

The insistent noise behind the door got harsher, meshed with scratches and vulgar voices. Gintoki and Zenzou simultaneously swallowed a considerable amount of saliva when a deep, guttural growl emerged from the other side. A laugh made them turn to Ayame, leaning beside the broken window. "Go, Gin-san, Boss. I wouldn't have you lying here like pitiful kittens. It just doesn't suit you, you know?"

"Sarutobi, you-"

"Okay, I'll get going then." Zenzou kicked Gintoki before he leaves through the window. He grunted, "She said it herself!"

"Carry her towards Yoshiwara and do something about that drug. She won't get affected and she's really ugly when she cries so-" Gintoki pushed a shard to Zenzou's butt, effective in silencing his nagging words.

"You stay here then. You like fuglies, what's the loss?" Ayame halted in preparing her kunai when she saw Gintoki crouching before her. She momentarily dazes once he was done mending her ankle. "Oi, Sa-chan. This scarf is said to bring vitality. Make sure to kick my Jump rival when you heal, 'kay?"

Zenzou lightly scoffed when the permhead caught the Jump magazine he threw at him. "Jump rivals got to have some jump to fight over with. Go, so I'll retrieve it once you're covered in lipstick in the Kamakko club."

A grin was his only reply before disappearing in the light outside the vacant room.