A/N: I'm so sorry that it's been ages since my last update, completely rewriting the previous chapter threw off my story plan, meaning rewriting this chapter two, only for writers block to kick in. Hopefully some of you are still with me, if so thank you.
The days that followed the vamp hunt was filled with tension and anger, and for the first time in months, Dean wasn't the cause.
Almost from the moment they'd stepped foot back in the bunker, Sam and Gabriel were at each other's throats. Gabriel understandingly pissed with his boyfriend for abandoning the adopted daughter in a motel room alone, leaving her vulnerable and unprotected, while Sam had quickly pointed out that Claire would have been just fine if she'd stayed in the room like she was supposed to, which had earned him the accusation of victim blaming that had only sparked yet more fury.
Claire had tried to calm the situation, stepping in between her parents and loudly stating that Sam was right, she shouldn't have left the motel, especially without telling Sam were she was going. "It was a rookie mistake, and I should have known better, Dad." She'd stated desperately.
Her words fell on deaf ears however, and instead of helping defuse the situation, only managed to stoke the flames into a raging fire that was still burning two days later.
Ultimately, it had results in days of tense silence and Sam bunking down in one of the spare rooms, while Claire locked herself away, only leaving her bedroom to visit the bathroom, eat, and attend school.
The tension had even been too much for Dean. The strange thing was, he'd expected to be happy about it, and in all honesty, part of him was. That deep dark part of him that wanted to cling on to Sam and keep him close, rival in the prospect of the end of his brother's relationship. Hate he hated himself for it.
Watching Sam mope around the bunker, burying himself in the men of letters files or searching for a case in an attempt to avoid his domestic argument, hurt. As unhappy and doubtful as he'd been about his brother's relationship with the ex-archangel, he couldn't deny it seemed genuine. The look on Sam's face when he looked at Gabriel spoke volumes, and over the last few months, Dean had been forced to face the fact that it wasn't just a convenience for Sam, as he'd once believed. His kid brother actually wanted this, wanted the obnoxious archangel.
It meant Dean had to acknowledge also, just what was powering his resentment. He didn't have to look too deep, he knew the reason; he just didn't want to face it. Facing it meant facing himself, and the mistakes he'd made, the mistakes he continued to make, and he wasn't ready to do that, not yet.
So Dean did what came natural, what he'd done his whole life to avoid the sharp truth of his feelings and desires, he ran. He ran right into a bottle, and then into the warm bed of a nameless stranger. Hating himself every second.
_(!)_
Gabriel hated it. He hated every second of the past three days. He wasn't talking to Sam, they weren't even sharing a bed at present, and it was torture. It had been so long since he'd slept alone, that climbing into bed at the end of the day left him feeling cold and empty.
As for his days, he spent them hauled up in the den, stretched out on the couch with the TV and a tub of Haagen Daz. Avoiding Sam and Dean, not that his boyfriend was exactly trying to spend time with him. I wasn't that he was avoiding Sam, as much as he needed time to cool off and Sam had taken that as some kind of hint to move out of their room and start leaving rooms when he walked into them.
Frankly, Gabriel shouldn't be surprised, right? It was Sam being Sam. Nothing different, it just took longer than he expected.
It was the fourth day of unbearable tension when they got the call. He was on his fifth tub of ice cream, mouth satisfying numb, much like his heart, when the door flung open and Dean glared at him, "Gabriel, library, now."
Gabriel bristled at the harsh and shot the elder Winchester a hard glare, "Do I look like a dog to you?"
Riot lifted his head from where it had been laying against his calf, huffing out a disgruntled sound.
Dean glared straight back at him, before turning. "You've got a new trial." The hunter threw back over his shoulder, and a cold shiver went through Gabriel.
A trail? Gabriel sat staring at the now empty doorway, his heart racing. He'd only just, finally, recovered from the first trail and the thought of putting himself through it again sent a cold chill down his spine. A thick ball of fear congealed in his stomach.
He dropped his gaze to his lap, hand reaching out blindly to comb through Riot's fur while he tried to calm the growing panic. Riot pressed his head into Gabriel's palm in a silent promise of support, and it caused the ex-angel's lip to curl. "I guess I should go see what's next huh?" he asked quietly, but didn't move to rise.
He was still sat on the edge of the couch ten minutes later, when Sam stepped into the room, his jaw tightly clenched. Gabriel looked up when he entered and felt his heart down a double jump. His boyfriend opened his mouth to say something, only to slam it shut again. Inhaling deeply, Gabriel pushed Riot's head gently from his lap, waking the dog, who instantly clambered off the couch and trotted over to nose at Sam's limp hanging hand.
"So?" Gabriel sighed, dragging his fingers through his hair.
Sam brushed his fingers over Riot's muzzle, "Kevin called." He muttered, "He's deciphered the next trail."
"Dean said. What is it this time?"
Sam remained silent for so long that Gabriel turned away from where he was distractedly clearing up the mess he'd made around the couch, to fix the hunter with a suspicious look. "Sam?" he pressed, brows pinched.
Licking at his lips, Sam lifted his gaze reluctantly, "Hell." He whispered, voice tight. "Rescue a soul from hell."
Gabriel stared at him, eyes wide, "Are you kidding?" he demanded, "Not a chance." He shook his head angrily, hurriedly marching to the door.
Sam's arm snatched out to grip Gabriel's bicep, stopping him, "You're the…"
"Find someone else." He snapped, "Send Dean after a hellhound!" he yanked his arm free and walked quickly from the room.
Sam rushed after him, "Gabe, we can't just…" he sighed, "We already asked, I already asked. Kevin made it clear that there's no start over. One you killed that Hellhound, you became the only one capable of finishing it." He yelled after the retreating ex-archangel.
"Then I guess you and Dean are going to just have to keep fighting the good fight." He snapped back over his shoulder.
Long fingers clamped down on his shoulder, forcing Gabriel to stop with a jerk. "Gabriel, you can't just…stop. This could…"
Gabriel span, glaring up at him, "What? Save the world? I did that once, remember."
Sam clenched his jaw, "Gabe." He sighed.
"You have no idea what you're asking!" he yelled, face contorting furiously.
Sam frowned, "It's just hell, Gabe."
Scoffing, Gabriel narrowed his eyes, "Just hell is it?" he seethed, "So, you'd come with?" here was a long silence, and Gabriel watched the fear play over his boyfriend's features, "Thought so." he muttered finally, turning to march away.
The heavy hurried sound of Sam's feet echoed behind him but Gabriel ignored them, quickening his pace to get away from the younger man. He turned the corner into the Crow's Nest and sighed when he saw Dean sat at the map table. He wasn't in the mood for this, for any of it.
"Gabe, please."
Storming past Dean, Gabriel headed for the stairs, he needed air. He needed to think and reign in the panic that was slowly working its way through him.
"Gabriel!" Sam yelled, just as he reached the top.
Gripping the railing, Gabriel closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Purgatory." he muttered, aware Sam wouldn't be able to hear him.
"What?"
He paused for another few seconds before turning to regard the brothers'. Leaning heavily on the metal railing and looking down at the pairs up turned faces, Gabriel cleared his throat. Surely Dean would understand, he'd lived through the same nightmare. "There's..." Gabriel sighed, "There's only one way to get into Hell if you aren't dead." he swallowed, "Purgatory. I'd have to go through Purgatory."
Sam's face fell as understanding flooded in, and his shoulder's slumped. Gabriel shook his head, pushing himself off the railing and turning to leave.
_(!)_
"Gabe?" Sam said cautiously, approaching the other man slowly.
There was a long tired sigh before Gabriel spoke, "What now Sam?"
Stepping up beside him, Sam threw his leg over the rickety fence his boyfriend was sat on, before setting his arse on the rotting wood. "I'm sorry." He whispered, staring out over the patch of dried dirt and grass.
The last few days had been the worst he'd felt since return back to Gabriel and Claire over six months ago, and whilst it wasn't his fault, Gabe was the one who was being completely irrational.
Shaking his head, Sam clenched his fists in his lap and pressed his lips into a tight line. "I know..."
"What? What do you know Sam?"
Gritted his teeth and taking a calming breath, Sam twisted on the fence, "I know how hard that place was for you." Gabriel scoffed, but Sam kept talking, "Are you forgetting I was there for the nightmares? That it was my bed you crawled into every night?"
Gabriel stiffened at the reminder and turned his head further away. Sam reached over and set his hand on the ex-archangel's thigh, giving it just a little reassuring squeeze. "Gabe?"
"You have no idea what you're asking?" Gabriel muttered, voice lower and thick with pain and fear. But didn't pull away, for the first time in days.
"I do." Sam whispered. "Which is why, if you want me to go with you..." He inhaled deeply, chest heaving as his heart hammered painfully against his ribs, "I'm going with you." He finished with more confidence than he actually felt.
Gabriel stared up at him, eyes searching his face. "Are you serious?"
The silent nod Sam delivered was a little too enthusiastic to be genuine, and Gabe frowned, his stomach twisting. His shoulders slumped and he turned away from his boyfriend, walking a few feet into the overgrown grass. His shook his head as he muttered warily. "No."
"What?" Sam frowned the ex -angels retreating back.
Gabriel didn't turn, instead staring out across the field that flanked the old pumping station, towards the river. He knew deep down he'd go, it was inevitable. Though not because it was the right thing to do, nor because Dean would make his life a living hell if he didn't. - And bizarrely, not because Sam wanted him to, but rather because he wouldn't be able to live with the disappointment in Claire's eyes if he didn't. "Fine." He muttered just loud enough for Sam to hear, and slid his hands into his pockets, his head lulling forward. "I'll go, but... You're not coming with me."
As pissed as he'd been with Sam the last week, and how furious he felt at that moment, he wasn't vindictive enough to force the man he loved to waltz back into his worst nightmare. No-one else needed to suffer.
And sure, there was a level of vanity there too. He didn't want Sam seeing him as weak, not again. He couldn't take the pity in Sam's eyes. He couldn't risk Sam finally realizing how worthless he was. What a waste of effort. As much as he knew it would all end eventually, that Sam would come to his senses, he wanted to postpone it for as long as possible. - Preferably, until his death bed.
Gabriel jumped as a set of large hands settled on his shoulders, and the warmth of Sam's breathe played at his hair. "Gabe…" Sam whispered, "I want... "
"I said no, Sam." Gabriel snapped, attempting to pull away. "Sam, please."
With a sorrowful sigh, Sam released him, a deep dark hollow opening up in his gut. He slipped his hands into his pockets to stop from reaching for his boyfriend again. "So... How do we...you do this?"
Gabriel inhaled deeply, tilting his head up to stare at the clear blue sky. "There's only two creatures that can travel between all three realms. My father and a reaper."
"Well we know God's out of the question," Sam muttered, curling his fingers. "Which I guess means we're hunting for a reaper."
With a huffy that didn't much as an ounce of humor, Gabriel turned look up at Sam. "Lucky for us, I know a guy. He owes me a favor."
Sam frowned, looking a little concerned. "Are you sure?"
"If he's still around." Gabe shrugged, "He'll cross me over." With that Gabe turned and began marching back to the bunker.
Sam watched him go with a heavy heart and an overwhelming feeling of dread. Also a firm determination that Gabriel, wasn't going back to purgatory alone, and the ex-archangel could argue all he wanted.
_(!)_
Gabriel had tried to brush them all off and go it alone, but to Sam's surprise Dean had stopped him dead in his tracks, harshly informing him that he wasn't going to let that happen. "In this family, we don't hunt alone."
"Firstly, it's not a hunt." Gabriel had argued stubbornly, his hand dropping to the floor of the crow's nest in preparation for a fight. "Secondly, I know for a fact you've both gone off halfcocked on solo hunts."
Sam scoffed coldly, leaning awkwardly on the map table. "Yeah, and nothing ever went wrong."
Dean shot him a hard look, then shifted his focus back to Gabriel. "Look, we're going with you, whether you like it or not."
"What about Claire?" Gabriel asked, folding his arms.
"I'm coming too." She suddenly announced from the corridor enterence, causing all three men to turn and frown at her.
"Like hell." Gabriel snapped, "You never hunting again."
Smirking Claire breezed into the crow's nest, "It's not a hunt, right?" she looked to Dean for confirmation and the elder Winchester nodded.
Gabriel looked between each member of the group and knew he'd already lost. "Fine." He sighed, shaking his head. "But you're not coming with me." He repeated, fixing Sam with a determined look.
Reluctantly Sam nodded, pushing himself off the table top. "Fine. – I'll grab my stuff."
_(!)_
With everyone piled into the car, including the damn dog, who Claire had flat-out refused to leave at the bunker alone, they headed along the highway towards Warsaw, Missouri. Dean insisting they drop in and check on Kevin. He hadn't sounded quite right on the phone and while he didn't want to come across as a fussing mother hen, he was concerned.
Besides, they couldn't exactly risk losing their prophet. Not when they were so close to their goal.
His gaze flickered to the rear view mirror. Claire was still mopping in the backseat, one hand stroking through the mutts fur as it squeezed into the seat beside her, much to Dean's irritation. He would swear she'd brought the dog just to piss him off. Despite the truce they'd managed to forge after the previous hunt, they hadn't spoken in two days. He has no clue what he'd done to upset her this time, but when she looked at him, he had the strong impression she wanted to shoot him.
That anger had only intensified when he'd mentioned Kevin. Understandably, she wasn't eager to visit the prophet, and had even attempted to talk him out of it. He'd countered by suggested she remain at the bunker, leading to a loud and heated argument.
Dean had only won because she wasn't willing to let Gabriel go with them alone. However, she had insisted on bringing the mutt with them.
Claire's other hand was supporting her head as she stared out of the window, watching the passing landscape, and occasionally kicking at the back of his step. It took all Dean's self-control not to pull over and make her walk.
His focus drifted to the other side of the backseat, where Gabriel mirrored his adopted daughter. Staring out at the late afternoon sunlight. The look of his face one of resignation and fear. - And for the first time ever, he genuinely felt sympathy for the ex-archangel.
He knew better than anyone just what it was going to take to return to Purgatory. Just what it was doing to Gabriel. He knew what was going around in his head as he stared out the window, because it was going through Dean's head too.
The misery. The emptiness that seem to surround you. The fear and anger coursing through you as time seemed to drag by at a snail's pace.
The primitive needs that were awakened within you when there was no anchor to hold to steady. The restraint melting away until there was little difference between you and the creatures you fought. The dark cold nights with no light to guide you or keep you warm.
Was it any wonder that a man would find warmth and comfort where he could?
Was it so wrong to continue to accept that comfort once you were free?
Even if it meant betraying deeper feelings.
"Dean!" Sam scolded, knocking hid shoulder and drawing his attention back to the road ahead.
"It's cool." Dean dismissed, even as his heart raced and his stomach twisted with guilt once more. The haunting sensation of betrayal and shame wrapping tight around him once more. "We should stop off and grab some food for the kid, he's probably not eating." The last world came out with a jolt, as Claire foot connected with the back of his seat.
_(!)_
"I'll wait here." Claire announced when the Impala pulled to a stop next to the Fizzle's Folly.
Gabriel turned to her sadly, "I'll wait with you."
"You need to speak to Kevin." Sam said tightly, his gaze flickering between the pair of them. "To find out what you're going to have to do."
"Or you could just, you know, get the information and bring it back to me." Gabriel said harshly, his eyes burning into Sam.
"Gabe." The younger Winchester sighted, his shoulders slumping. "I don't want to do this anymore than you do!" he argued, voice thick with emotion. "I…."
Meeting the pained hazel eyes, Gabriel felt his heart skip a little, but quickly shook it off. "Fine. I'll go in with Dean, you stay with Claire." He grumbled, shoving the door open.
"I don't need a babysitter!" Claire snapped.
Gabriel scoffed, looking at her with a raised challenging brow, "Don't you?" with that he claimed out of the Impala, slamming the door closed behind him. He hovered at the bottom of the gangway, waiting for Dean, then followed the hunter up.
Despite never having met the young prophet before, Gabriel knew there was something wrong with him the second the door opened. It wasn't just the dark shadows beneath his red-rimmed eyes, or the deathly pale complexion. Or even the cast iron frying pan he was wielding like a sword. There was something more…spiritual. Something in the depths of the young man that cried out for help. A thick, choking waves of anxiety that rolled off him, crashing over Gabriel again and again.
It was strange. He hadn't felt anything so powerful and stomach churning since he'd lost his powers, and wasn't all that sure why he was feeling it now, but it was there. Loud and clear. He stagger slightly as he stepped into the cabin.
A familiar sensation that trickled down his spine and the hairs on the back of his neck rose. He looked around, head snapping left and right, before settling on Kevin. Moving closer, eyes narrowing, staring into the young man's eyes.
"Hey!" Kevin snapped, attempting to back away, only for the desk to hit his thighs. "What the hell?"
"Kevin, this is Gabriel." Dean introduced belatedly, watching them with a deep frown while setting the bag of food they'd picked up on the way, down on the counter of the small kitchenette. "Gabriel, what are you…?"
"Demons have been here?"
"What?" Dean snapped, hurriedly looking around.
"Here." Gabriel clarified quietly, tapping the tip of his finger against Kevin's forehead. At Dean's confused look, Gabriel rolled his eyes and stepped out of Kevin's personal space. "Angels aren't the only once that can take a trip into a person's dreams, Dean-o."
"Kevin?" Dean's head snapped around to stare at the young prophet.
The tired young man looked between the pair, his whole body beginning to shake. "They're just…dreams."
Dean sighed, "Dammit. How long?"
Kevin swallowed thickly, eyes drifting to the calendar, "I couple of….weeks."
"Weeks?" Dean snapped, "Why didn't you tell us!"
"I did, you brought me pills and told me it was just a nightmare."
Gabriel looked at Dean, unimpressed. "Seriously?"
Dean bristled, "He said he was having nightmares, how was I meant to know? I figured it was just the stress." He argued defensively, "I thought he was just being paranoid."
"Just because you're paranoid, Dean-o, doesn't mean someone's not out to get you." Gabriel huffed, "You should know that by now." Turning back to the prophet, Gabriel sighed, dragging his hand through his hair. Suddenly feeling tried and drained. "Grab your stuff kid." He said quietly.
"What?" Dean and Kevin said simultaneously.
"He can't stay here, this…" he waved around at the warding on the windows. "Isn't strong enough."
Dean frowned, looking at the windows. "He's practically in an iron box."
Gabriel rolled his eyes. "Which is exactly why they're messing with is head. They'll break him down until he finally snaps and runs. They've probably got people watching the boat."
The sentence was barely dead in the air, before Dean was racing out of the cabin. Gabriel didn't follow after him, instead turning back to Kevin. "Let's start packing this up."
"Where are you taking him now?" Kevin asked, frowning.
"Where they should have taken you in the first place." Gabriel snapped, frustrated. He couldn't believe they'd been so stupid as to leave the Prophet unprotected on a friggin' boat. It was hard to believe the knuckle heads had outwitted heaven and hell, and stopped the apocalypse. – Though they hadn't done it alone, had they.
By the time the heavy metal door burst open again, Gabriel and Kevin had piled all the young man's research and translations into a pile on the desk. Kevin stood with the tablet pressed protectively to his chest. Gabriel looked up from where he was lounging on a chair, fingers pressed to his head. A headache having begun the second he'd stepped foot into the small room.
"Gabe?" Sam frowned, hurrying over to his side. "Are you alright?"
"I need to get off this boat. We all do." He nodded to the papers, and without hesitation Sam grabbed them. "Where's Claire?"
"In the car." Dean replied.
"Alone?" Gabriel snapped, eyes widening. "For fuck's sake, Dean!" he rushed past the hunter and out into the fresh afternoon air. Sam at his heels.
The moment he was outside, the headache eased, and Gabriel hurried to the car, where Claire was stood, Riot at her side, weapon in hand.
"Dad?" She said, rushing towards him. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." He reassured with a smile.
"What's going on? Dean said there were demons." She looked past him worriedly, only for her features to grow stony. "Dad?"
"I'm sorry sweetheart, but there's no other option."
"He's not coming with us." She snapped furiously, shaking her head.
"He has to. It's not safe for him here." Sam replied pleadingly.
"I don't give a shit." Claire snapped. "He almost got me kill!" she yelled at Sam, before letting her eyes drift to Kevin. "He got my mom kill!"
Kevin stiffened, eyes widening, looking between them all.
"We'll sort this out later." Dean announced, cutting through the sudden tension. "Right now, we need to get out of here."
"I'm not getting in a car with him." Claire replied. Beside her Riot began to growl, staring off into the distance.
They all looked in the direction. With his hand on Kevin's arm, Dean dragged him to the car, shoving him into the backseat. "Claire, get in the front." He ordered.
Riot barked and Gabriel grabbed the front passenger side door, yanking it open and shoving Claire inside before slamming it closed. Then he jumped into the back, squeezing up close to Kevin. "Riot. Here." He tapped his thigh and instantly the large dog leapt in. Climbing up over Gabriel and Kevin's lap.
While Sam contorted himself into the backseat, slamming the door closed behind him, Dean climbed behind the wheel and started the engine. The Impala's tires screeched as it pulled away from the boat.