Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer, not me.

Author/Note 1: This story is the sequel to Our Dawn 5. For the ones who don't know anything about Our Dawn Series, you can always read Our Dawn 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5, and Our Dawn Series Specials but if you don't want to bother I have a resume on my profile page. As it would be expected this is a next-generation story and as such, it's focused on Jake and Leah's children.

A/Note 2: A huge thank you to everyone who reviewed Our Dawn Series so far.

A/Note 3: I'm not a native English speaker so I'm sorry for my grammar and spelling. Thank you for reading.

Alpha

Book IV – The Matriarch

Sarah Black

84. Irreversible

I never thought I would be moving away from La Push at the age of seventeen in the middle of a school year.

"Don't worry about classes, you're going to have the best home-teachers ever! You'll still be able to do your finals this year and you'll pass with the best grades in the state of Washington."

Those had been Alice's words a few hours ago. By the best home-teachers of all times, she was referring to herself and the rest of her family. I didn't doubt their ability to teach me Maths or Biology or any other subject given the fact that they had been attending highschool classes since probably centuries, the problem was that I wouldn't stay in Grimes Creek long enough to have home lessons. I had a plan and I was going to follow it.

"It will be temporary," Isaac said handing me a small bag. "I packed all of your school books. If you have any doubts about a subject, call me. I'll be glad to help you."

Isaac was a kind soul, he had forgiven me already for drugging him three days ago. Out of the five of us, he was the most helpful and the most honest. Grandpa Billy said once that he shared those traits with Grandma Sarah and Uncle Seth. Even though none of us had met the grandmother I shared my name with, we all had heard stories about her generosity and her cooking skills. Dad often said she cooked the best blueberry pies of the entire country.

"They're not doing this to punish you."

"I know." I shrugged because it didn't matter.

Last night the Tribal Council had decided to accept my parents' suggestion about relocating me to a place where I would be safe until the mating season was over. Mom had tried to speak to Odessa Clearview to demand her to reverse whatever she had done to me, but she hadn't succeeded and according to Dana, Odessa's vessel, my condition was not reversible.

But the truth was that I would leave no matter what they'd decide because I had made an agreement with Odessa Clearview and I couldn't break my promise. The deal was simple: she'd tell me how to turn into a wolf, and in exchange, I would go to her if Jay couldn't fight the imprint. I didn't turn into a wolf immediately but I was one now so Odessa's part of the deal had been kept.

Three days ago I had confirmed my worst fears. Jay's feelings for me were faltering. Even though he had warned my father about what had happened, he didn't love me anymore. He still liked me enough to care but Ella was now his priority and I wouldn't be second best to anyone.

"Are you ready?" My brother asked from the door.

"Yes, but I think I need a minute alone." I sat down on my recently-made bed.

Isaac looked at me and then he glanced at the window as if he feared I would jump. I couldn't blame him. I had done a lot of stupid things lately but I wasn't going to run today.

"I'm not going to bail through the window."

"Okay. I'll take your bags and I'll wait downstairs with the others. Just... don't do anything reckless."

I nodded and he left. Things had changed fast in such a short period. I didn't know what Odessa Clearview wanted from me, but I would keep my word and go to her. It would be better for me to spend some time away from La Push. According to Odessa, if I stayed bad things would happen and I already felt guilty about a lot of things.

"Sarah?" Dad called coming into my bedroom. "Can we talk?"

So he wanted to talk now? For three days all I had met was my parents' silence and disappointed looks whenever we were in the same room, and now he wanted to talk to me? To tell me what? That I had fucked everything up? Newsflash, I already knew that.

"I already heard too many lectures," I stated, not bothering to get up.

It was true. For the last three days, almost everyone from my family had had the kindness to come to our house and share their opinion on the recent events. Some, such as my aunts, had been discreet and slightly caring. At least both of them had the decency to ask if I had gotten hurt before telling me I had been a very stupid girl. Others, like Grandma Sue, had been straight to the point and told me I was too young to know what true love really is. Granddad Billy, on the other hand, had been almost kind and said that I was too much like my mother. And I had yet to face the people I had placed in danger.

Danny was still recovering. Uncle Seth had made him wear a collar to make sure his spine was healing right. EJ and Quinn were fine now, their gun-inflicted wounds had healed but while Quinn had just forgotten about it, EJ was thirsty for vengeance. The only reason why he hadn't acted yet was that Levi was still recovering. But we all knew that once Levi was up and walking, he would be on his doorstep and force a confrontation.

"I'm not here to lecture you, Sarah. I know that deep inside you know that you messed up."

"Thank you for reminding me again, dad."

"Look, I made a mistake with Isaac, I'm not making the same mistake with you."

"What are you talking about?"

"When that werewolf bit him, I felt ashamed and guilty and my relationship with Isaac was affected because I was unable to speak to him. He grew up thinking I didn't love him but I do love him. I just couldn't show him because I was afraid that he would hate me when he found out the truth."

"But he doesn't hate you. He worships you... you were both idiots. But, what does that have to do with me?"

"What you did... drugging your brother, leaving the house against our orders, leaving La Push after talking to Jay... it wasn't your fault. I mean, not totally. Part of it was mine."

I had heard about my dad's altruist nature for years. Because he was a leader, he always felt that everything was his fault. I did appreciate hear him say that, but it wasn't true. He was only blaming himself because he wanted to protect me.

"What happened to Isaac was a lot different from this."

"I know... but still the real problem here was the lack of dialogue between us." He said and he sat down on my bed with his back to me so I wouldn't see his face. "I was eighteen when the twins were born. I don't have regrets but I know that I wasn't ready to be a father then. Your mother and I faced a lot of shit and we made many mistakes but we did the best we could, we did what we thought was right. With the twins, it was easy because they learned about the wolf gene and the pack when they were ten but everyone thought we should have been more careful with them, especially after Will's transformation, that's why we decided not to tell you and Isaac about the gene. Maybe we should have."

"Yeah, you should have," I whispered. It would have changed everything if I had known about the pack when I was younger.

Dad got up and circled the bed so now we were face to face.

"I'm sorry you had to go through this. I'm sorry that you had to lose the person you loved. I'm sorry your life will never be normal again." He kneeled in front of me and hugged me tightly. I knew he was being honest because dad wasn't a liar. Without noticing I had started crying.

"What am I going to do, dad? His love for me is gone."

"It's not gone but it will never be the same. His priorities changed, Ella will always come first, her needs will always be more important because she's his imprint."

"And what will I be?"

"You're going to be yourself, Sarah. My daughter, an alpha, and in future you'll be someone's wife, and someone's mother."

"I don't want that! I only wanted that life if I could have it with Jay."

"You won't feel that way forever."

"You say that because you didn't have to see the person you love leave you like this!" I fought in his arms so he would let me go.

"You think it's easy to be on my shoes?"

I didn't understand what he meant. All I knew was that I had gotten the shortest end of the stick. I had broken rules and disobeyed my parents only to become a wolf and be with Jay, but in the end, I was still alone.

"Don't think for one minute that it was easier for me. When a couple is separated because of an imprint, they are not the only people affected. You and Jay are not the only ones hurting. And you're not the only victim here."

"Really? Because Jay just got the perfect match for him. Once he forgets about me, he'll marry Ella and she'll have his children. They're going to be happily ever after. What about me? I'm going to be lonely and forgotten! How is that fair?" I raised my voice.

"What about the person that ends up falling in love with you? How do you think he'll feel? Do you know how hard it is? Do you know how frustrating it is to convince a person that she can love again? That you won't leave her as her former lover did when he imprinted? It's not exactly a walk in a park!" Dad let me go and started pacing back and forth. "I loved her and she loved me but she was too damn scared to give me a chance because of that douchebag that broke her heart. She didn't believe she could love again, and she was strongly convinced that no one could ever love her back. But I never gave up! Never! I couldn't because I knew she was the one. The real one. Not just a fling nor a crush. Not a charity project nor a replacement. And it took her months to trust me so don't think that you're the only one who'll suffer because you're not."

That's when I remembered what mom had told me after Jay and I were forced to annul our short-lived marriage about being dumped by her first boyfriend.

"She wasn't dumped by her boyfriend, was she?" I asked. Dad nodded negatively. "I mean mom."

"He imprinted," Dad admitted. "Left her heartbroken."

"And you picked up the pieces."

"Yes." He finally said. "She thought she would never love again and look at us now. We got married, we had wonderful kids, and there's nothing that can break us apart."

"Mom was lucky because she had someone to pick up the pieces." I sat down on my bed again.

"There will be someone out there for you too, Sarah. You just have to be patient."

xxxxxxxxxx

Patience had never been my thing though. That's why I wanted to leave La Push. It wasn't just because I had promised Odessa. It was because I didn't want to wait for things to happen. Because while I waited, Jay would start falling for Ella, and Ella would start having feelings about him, and then one day, I would eventually meet them out in the street, and I would be forced to see how happy and perfect they looked together, and I wasn't ready for that.

"This will be temporary." Mom said when I was saying goodbye to my grandparents. "She's going to stay in Alice's house for a few weeks, and then we'll see."

My parents didn't like that almost everyone knew where I was staying, but the Cullens had guaranteed that no one would be able to pass them, plus my brothers would be staying too. William didn't have permission to be in La Push and Harry wanted to be closer to his wife. Isaac was going to stay home, he and his pack were going to keep practicing.

"Try to behave while you're there, okay?" Grandma Sue asked while hugging me.

"Bella will take good care of you." Granddad Charlie offered. His back problem was getting better but he still needed a lot of rest.

"You're truly your mother's daughter." Granddad Billy told me again. "You just have to find that amazing strength inside you and you'll be fine."

"Have you thought about my request?" I asked with hope.

"I'm sorry, honey... we can't allow it." It was Grandma Sue who let me know. I had requested the Tribal Council to speak to two people before leaving La Push. "It's dangerous."

I looked at my parents. I knew they had been the ones that had made the Council decide that way.

"Oh, come on... really?" I fumed. "I agreed to take someone with me! Anyone! I don't care, I just need to speak to Jay! He's not even affected by this whole heat-thing."

"The boy is a mess. He blames himself for what happened. Just leave him be." My mother said.

"I need to speak to him!" I insisted and she glared at me.

"No, you don't."

"Fine!" I retorted. "What about Levi? Why can't I speak to him? I know he's hurt and recovering but as far as I was told, his voice wasn't affected."

"It's better for Levi's recovery if no one disturbs him."

"I just want to have a word with him! Two fucking minutes won't kill him!"

"Language, Sarah!"

"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked almost in despair. "I'm leaving La Push as you wanted! I've been reprehended, lectured, and blamed by everything that has happened! I've accepted that I'm guilty and I even asked Aunt Rachel's forgiveness for what happened to Danny! I've behaved for the last three days! So why can't I have two minutes alone with Levi fucking Uley?" I snapped.

"Because it's not safe!" Mom yelled at me.

"I'm not going to hurt him!"

"It's not safe for you," Harry said joining the conversation. He had been quiet until now.

"Me? What are you talking about? Levi's not affected by this either. He saved me."

"That's not what happened. You probably don't remember but... in the end, after all the wolves were beaten, his wolf came out and tried to... he attacked us."

"What?" I didn't remember anything.

"He fought against his wolf as long as he could," Dad explained. "And when he realized he didn't have more competition, he attacked Harry and Will. If he succeeded he would have forced you to mate with him."

"He put on quite a fight. He even fought against an alpha command." Harry added.

"So, he was affected? Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm his alpha, I was in his head."

I couldn't believe that. Levi had helped me and he had never made a single move on me. Not even when it was just the two of us in the forest. He could've seized that opportunity when we were alone but he didn't. So that meant that my family was lying to me. They were lying because they didn't want me to speak to Levi. I just didn't know why.

"I'm going to the Uley's house no matter what you say!" I decided at that precise moment. "If you stop me today, I'll find a way to come from Grimes Creek to talk to Levi tomorrow or the day after, or the other. I'll do whatever it takes, do you understand?"

My parents sighed. Grandma Sue shook her head displeased with my rebellion while Granddad Charlie winked at me. Harry and Isaac simply shrugged and Granddad Billy grinned with amusement.

"She's a piece of work." He turned his wheelchair to my dad who rolled his eyes. "Just like Leah."

And with that our family reunion was over and Harry took me over to see Levi.

"Are his injuries that serious?" I asked before knocking. My brother didn't answer immediately.

"He has several broken bones, a mild concussion, several lacerations, and his spine was crushed."

I was astonished. That was a lot of injuries. Too many to have been caused by the two wolves that belonged to the White Pack.

"What the hell happened to him?"

"Will and I had to protect you. We probably overreacted but at that moment, we didn't think about his wellbeing, only about the danger he represented to you."

"He would never hurt me. He had a chance when you were away and when we were alone. If it wasn't for Levi, I could've been raped."

"I know and that's the only reason why he's still alive."

"Don't you think I would remember if he'd tried to attack me?"

"Carlisle has a theory about that. Ask him when you see him. For now, all you have to know is that Levi is being affected by the mating season as much as any other non-imprinted wolf out there and if he so much tries to get up from his bed while you're inside his bedroom, I'll kick his ass again."

"You're not coming?"

"I don't think he'll be happy to see me."

Emily was not very pleased to see me at her doorstep either. She only allowed me to get inside when she saw that Harry was there too.

"Sam's at work and Levi just took his medicine."

"It will only take two minutes, I promise."

She nodded and led me to Levi's room. Then she returned to the kitchen to give us some privacy.

Levi's bedroom reeked of antiseptics and medicine but I could still feel his scent. Judging by the small containers of morphine on his bedside table, he was heavily sedated. He seemed to be sleeping so I took the opportunity to inspect him carefully. His face showed marks of small cuts and bruises. The top of his left ear was gone. There was a bandage covering his entire left arm and part of his torso.

"What are you doing here, Black?" I jumped.

"You scared me, asshole! I thought you were sleeping."

"I'm not." His voice seemed deeper than usual and I shuddered but it wasn't from the cold. "Why are you here?" He insisted.

"I came to..."

I didn't know what to say now that I was here. I had come to apologize and thank him for what he had done for me, but now I was confused.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked him out flat.

"About what?"

"That my scent was affecting you."

"Because if I did no one would let me help and you wouldn't trust me."

He wasn't just conceited, he was also cunning. And apparently, my family was telling the truth.

"That's true but what you did was incredibly..."

"Save it, Spitfire!" He cut me off. "I've been lectured by probably the entire Reservation! I know it was stupid, I know it was reckless and I'm fully aware that things could have backfired on me, but I don't give a damn."

"Why?"

"Because I knew from the start that if there was someone who could fight that primal instinct, it was me."

"And how did you know that, Uley?"

"Because I'm better than everyone else."

"You really are full of yourself."

He grinned, satisfied with himself. I had no idea why my wolf felt attracted to this guy. He was Jay's total opposite.

"So you don't want to hear what I have to say, do you?" I insisted.

"No, I don't. Actually, there's nothing you can tell me that I don't already know."

"You think you know a lot about me, don't you?"

"I know you well enough to know that you're a selfish brat who fell for a stupid idiot and now has become as equally stupid to the point of wanting to turn into a giant furball just to be with an imprinted fool who will never look at her again." Those words made me feel really stupid. "I can go on if you want. I haven't reached the part where you put yourself and several lives in danger just to call the attention of your Don Juan, who by the way, didn't move a fucking muscle to save you."

"Shut up!" I yelled at him, clenching my fists. I had never wanted to hit anyone so badly in my life.

"Oh... did I hit a nerve?" He dared to mock me.

"You are an asshole, Uley!"

"Yeah, I guess I am."

"I never wanted to hurt my family or my friends. I never wanted to be chased like a bitch in heat. I never wanted this to happen. But everyone thought they had to ruin my life so I just did what I had to do to regain control of it."

"And did that include being raped?"

"No! It didn't include being raped! It included Jay and me out of this place! We got married and we were ready to leave but my brothers brought us back!" I was beyond angry now. "Then dad forced us to annul the marriage and after that Jay imprinted. I had no other option but to transform into a wolf too. He just had to fight the imprint... just for a while, but he... he couldn't."

I don't know if he felt sorry for me or if he was tired of arguing, but his next words were spoken more softly.

"You're not the only heartbroken person in the world, you know?"

I nodded and we remained in silence for a few seconds.

"Anyway, for your information, I came here to thank you and to apologize for being the reason you had to leave La Push and fight those wolves getting hurt in the process."

He looked at me surprised.

"See? You don't know me that well, do you?"

Levi put his good elbow on the bed and forced himself up.

"I guess you are full of surprises."

"You're bleeding!" I pointed to the place where his bandage was showing a red stain. I realized then that my wolf was worried about his health, however when I got near him to take a better look, he slapped my hand away.

"It will heal eventually." He said indifferently. "I don't need your help. You better go now. Your brother is waiting for you."

I pretended that his indifference didn't affect me as I walked to the door.

"Black?" I turned back to face him and I met a different Levi looking expectantly at me. "Whatever your brother tells you about what he saw in my head when I attacked you... it's not what seems. I didn't want to hurt you or force you... the wolf kept telling me to do it, but I fought it as hard as I could. You have to believe me."

"I do," I told him truthfully. "And you should too."

I watched him lie down again and then I left. Emily waved at me from the kitchen and from the corner of my eye I saw Ella in the living room, reading a book.

"Fucking finally," Harry commented when I left the Uley manor. "One more minute and I was going to get you."

"Just shut up and drive, Harrison."

And for once, my request was attended.

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Karisan.