It's Mardi Gras! Long time no see. Sorry about that. The middle of the school year is a pain. Believe it or not, in 2 weeks it will be the 1-year anniversary of The Danger of a Death. I can't believe it!
Speaking of anniversaries, I just want to say happy birthday to Family Reunion - and Farewell, the last episode of Star Wars Rebels. A year ago today, Ezra and Thrawn disappeared into hyperspace with an army of purrgils, Jacen Syndulla was introduced to us, Rex was confirmed in the Battle of Endor, Sabine and Ahsoka are going to find their lost friend, and we all cried. Rebels has really changed my perception of Star Wars - so, thank you to Dave Filoni and the entire cast and crew of Rebels!
Also, Queen's Shadow is out today! I'm hoping to start reading it, but I'll have a busy afternoon. That's why I'm posting bright and early.
If you need a refresher from last chapter, Ahsoka found out Rhea is Timora, Kanan was knighted, Ezra was told to go to Malachor, Obi-Wan found out Maul was alive, Qui-Gon passed Luke's training on to Obi-Wan, and Anakin may have PTSD.
Disclaimer: If you thought I owned Star Wars, you'd be wrong.
(Published 3.5.19)
Chapter Thirty-One: There The Whole Time
3 BBY
After they got back from Lothal, Anakin had been silent for a while. Well, not silent, but he wouldn't talk about what had happened at the Jedi Temple. Padmé didn't want to bother him about it, but at the point where he began to toss and turn in his sleep, she began to worry.
Luke wasn't helping the mood. He had been pestering Anakin and Obi-Wan, however respectfully, for the past week. 'Do I get a lightsaber soon?' 'Can you show me how to do that thing that Kanan did?'
Finally, Padmé approached him and said, "Luke, maybe try not to put any stress on your father right now. He was… shaken by whatever he saw at the Temple."
"Oh." His face fell. "Do you know what he saw?"
She sadly smiled. "He hasn't been very vocal since you guys got back. I was hoping you could tell me a bit about what happened."
"I know as much as you do," Luke shrugged, and walked off.
That night, Anakin tossed in his sleep again. Padmé managed to fall asleep, but was woken up when he began to murmur and shake.
"Ani?" she said, worry etched on her face. She put her hands on his shoulders and said, "Ani, please wake up!"
"Padmé…" he said, and his eyes opened. Even in the dim light, she could see the glimmer of tears on his face.
"Anakin, what's going on?" she asked, fearing the answer.
He took a shaky breath, and his first words were cracked. "At the Jedi Temple on Lothal," he started, looking to her face for any reaction, but their faces were too shrouded in darkness that she couldn't tell what he was going for. "I was shown… visions."
"What kind of visions?" she said, running a hand over his cheek.
"First," he began shakily, "I saw Ahsoka. She was leaving the Jedi Order, and it was… it was my fault." Padmé raised her head to speak, but Anakin interrupted her thought. "Then, you were giving birth to Luke and Leia. But you were dying. And I wasn't there. Ahsoka and Rex weren't there either. Something was different. And then… Obi-Wan took the twins. You… you died. I don't know what happened to them."
"Ani," she said, her own eyes tearing up. "It was just a dream. Something that was shown to you to make you scared - "
He shook his head viciously. "That's not all. Then Luke was there. He was older… Force, he was so handsome. And he looked like me at that age. But he was fighting a Sith Lord, a monster in black armor, and his breathing…" Anakin shuddered. "The Sith, Vader, pushed Luke back to a ledge. Luke pushed him back for a second, but then the Sith cut off his arm." Padmé stifled a gasp, biting her lip. Anakin continued. "Vader told him that he wanted him to join the Sith, but Luke was strong. He refused. And then…"
Anakin paused.
"What, Ani?" Padmé asked, removing her hand from his face and intertwining it in his own hand.
"Vader asked him if he knew what happened to his father," he said quietly, the tears rolling down his face. "And he said." He took a shaky breath. "He told him - "
"Anakin."
"I can't." Now, he couldn't breathe, and Padmé was crying as well, even though she didn't know what he was going to say.
And now, she didn't need to know.
He buried his head in her chest until they fell back asleep.
The next morning at breakfast on the Tantive III, they discussed with Senator Organa anything he knew about Enfys Nest or Crimson Dawn. Anything they could possibly do to hunt down Maul.
"Enfys Nest," said Bail, who suddenly chuckled. "I haven't heard that name in a while."
"Not since she confronted Ahsoka about an alliance?" asked Obi-Wan.
"That's right. Nest heard about a rebel informant and contacted Fulcrum. Something about coaxium, but as soon as the marauder heard any hesitation in Ahsoka's voice, she left. Who knows where that coaxium even is now," Bail explained.
"Are there any other rebel cells that aren't associated with the Rebellion?" said Padmé. "Technically, the marauders could have delivered to another source - "
"Saw Gerrera," said Bail quietly. The three adults in the room looked around at each other.
"Saw Gerrera?" asked Luke. "Who's he?"
Anakin sighed. "A rebel from the planet Onderon. We worked with him and his sister briefly during the Clone Wars. Ahsoka stayed there longer than we did, so she probably knows him better. His sister, Steela, died in the civil war."
"So, what does he have to do with Enfys Nest?" said Luke, cocking his head. It was still hard for him to understand the logistics of the Clone Wars and everything that occured during and after it.
"After refusing Fulcrum's cell, Enfys would have to find a new source to bring her coaxium, right?" said Padmé. "Well, if her new contact was someone more aggressive, more ready for action - "
"Her only option would be Saw," said Bail, nodding.
"So, can we find a way to contact her?" asked Obi-Wan.
Luke considered raising a hand to speak, but he didn't. "We can give Han a call."
Anakin groaned and Bail said, "Han Solo? The smuggler?"
"He gave me a contact, and in Ben's vision, he was told to talk to Han Solo if he wanted to find… answers." He made sure to leave out 'Maul' as to not further worry the senator.
"I suppose you could try," the senator said. "In the meantime, I'll try to scavenge anything I can find on Enfys Nest or Crimson Dawn. Leia will come over and brief you."
The temperature in the room dropped fifty degrees and Luke put down his spoon.
Now more sympathetic, Bail spoke, "You have to get over this family bump somehow. And besides, she is dying to get to know you." By 'you,' she meant 'Anakin' or 'Luke,' but not 'Padmé.' And everyone in the room knew it.
"Enfys kriffing Nest," said Han Solo over the crackling hologram. He cracked a smile. "Never thought we'd hear that name again, huh, Chewie?"
The Wookiee growled, but Luke couldn't see him. He also heard multiple shouts in the background, and the sound of glass shattering. He could only imagine that Solo was making this call from a back room of a cantina.
"So I'm assuming that you haven't been in contact with her for a while?" said Obi-Wan, who was seated in the Twilight II's co-pilot seat. Anakin, obviously, was in the pilot's place, working on something or other, trying to make himself useful without speaking.
Again, Luke had taken advice from his mother and not questioned it.
"Afraid not," said the smuggler. "The last time I spoke to her was -"
"Crimson Dawn?" asked Luke hesitantly.
Han scowled. "And this is why I don't make friends." However, after a moment, he gave in. "Yeah. We had to get a shipment of coaxium from Kessel to deliver to Dryden Vos. Enfys was after it as well. Then she said she wanted to give it to the rebellion. A resistance, or some kriffing movement."
"Do you know what happened to Dryden Vos?" asked Obi-Wan, possibly looking for answers about Darth Maul.
Han shuddered. "Dryden Vos was killed. We ended up siding with Enfys Nest, and me and Chewie brought the coaxium to her. Vos was killed by… Qi'ra."
"Qi'ra?"
"I thought she… was my friend," said Han, stuttering at 'friend.' "Then she left Chewie and me for Crimson Dawn."
"Did she tell you anything about the true leader of the crime syndicate?"
"Hey, the only thing I know about Dryden's boss is that he's more powerful than Vos or Qi'ra," said Han, shrugging, and both Luke and Obi-Wan's shoulders visibly slumped.
"Thanks, Han," said Luke with a half-hearted smile.
"Anytime, kid." The smuggler smiled, hologram crackling violently. "Me and Chewie get pretty bored around here sometimes."
Suddenly, a bob of brown hair entered the room. Luke turned around to see his sister, Leia, holding a stack of datapads, flanked by two Alderaanian royal guards.
"Leia!" he said, smoothly rising from his seat and embracing her (without knocking over all the datpads).
She smiled. "Hi, Luke. Have you been well?"
"Yeah," he said.
"Good morning, Princess," said Obi-Wan, bowing his head slightly.
"Hello, Master Kenobi," Leia said, then turned to Anakin, whose head was ducked under the control panel and his hands were fiddling with some wires. "Uh, hello, Father," she said awkwardly.
He looked up and smiled. "Hi, Leia." He looked her up and down, again reminded of how much she looked like Padme. "You don't need to call me father. You have a father. We can… work on it."
She laughed. "Alright."
Then, a voice: "Mm, this is awkward." Han was still there.
"Captain Solo," said Leia politely, though there was an undertone in her voice.
"Of course, the angry Princess!" he said, raising his hands. "How are you?"
Luke could see that Leia had just realized that she was being played. "Worse now that I've talked to you."
Luke almost sniggered, but he held himself back.
"Now, that's no way to greet me," said the smuggler, giving her a look.
She gritted her teeth and rolled her eyes, turning to the others. Han didn't end the call. "Me and my father did some digging, and we found that Crimson Dawn was founded soon after the Clone Wars ended. It hasn't truly been active for a few years now, but the rest of any information is shrouded in mystery. There's a bit more on these datapads, but that's really it. Kier would love…"
The room went silent for a moment and Leia looked down. Luke could feel sorrow at this person, Kier, in Leia's heart.
"Who's Kier?" asked Han.
She weakly smiled. "Just a friend who died a few months ago. He wanted to be a historian, and he would've loved to learn more about the Clone Wars and all that."
"Oh," said the smuggler, looking sincerely apologetic, but also awkward.
"I'm sorry, Leia," said Anakin, seeming troubled, and Luke saw the conflict in his eyes.
"It's over now, but thank you." She caught Luke's eyes and their bond only grew stronger.
After a moment, Han spoke, "Look, good talk with all of you, but my time's running out back here."
"Don't be a stranger, Han," said Luke, mustering a bit of courage.
"Will do." He gave a two-fingered salute, took one last curious look at Leia, and then the hologram flickered out.
"So, that didn't really help at all," said Luke, falling back into his chair.
"Wouldn't expect anything else from a scoundrel," scoffed Leia.
He shrugged. "I think Han is nice."
"Oh. Sorry."
"So, what happened with this guy Kier?" asked Anakin quietly.
"Uh, Kier was in the Apprentice Legislature with me a few months ago when I began doing it. I met him in a pathfinding lesson for one of my trials."
"Trials?" asked Luke.
"The three trials that a royal of Alderaan has to take before they officially become heir to the throne," she explained, and Luke was on the verge of fully realizing that his sister was a kriffing princess. "I had already been active for a while with the Rebellion, but not much of anything that my parents would tell me. Me and my friend Amilyn tried to stop the Empire from finding a rebel fleet in the Paucris system, but Kier came looking for us and died in the shockwave."
"I'm so sorry, Leia. He sounded… close to you," said Anakin, Luke still looking at Leia.
Ben shook his head. "Too young to die."
"Yeah." Leia sighed. "Anyway, I just wanted to drop these off, say hi, and I guess I'll be on my way?"
"Of course." Anakin gestured around. "You're welcome whenever, besides, the Twilight needs some tune-ups. It seems to need a woman's touch, and Padmé doesn't exactly do well with this sort of stuff."
She laughed. "Then I'll be around. Bye, Luke."
"Bye." He smiled.
She gestured to the two guards who had been hanging outside the whole conversation, and then walked out.
"Oh!" called Anakin. "You might want to talk to Padmé sometime soon, too."
Leia ignored him and kept walking.
With no useful intel, Luke and Ben began to plan out their trip to Ilum.
"I have no idea what's going on with the Empire and this planet, but it used to be one of the Jedi's most sacred places," the Jedi explained. "We used to have a ceremony for younglings where Master Yoda instructed them and a droid called Huyang provided the pieces to their lightsabers. However, you're hardly a youngling, and there is no Master Yoda or Huyang, so I suppose we'll have to get creative."
"How so?" asked Luke, lazing in the cockpit of the Twilight.
"First of all, I've been tracking day on Ilum." When Luke gave him a look, Ben nodded and explained, "Day only comes every 19 days on Ilum. The ice in the crystal caves melts only long enough for one to get their kyber crystal and come back out again. We'll have to leave tomorrow if we want to make it in time for the thaw."
Luke nodded, though somewhat thoughtfully. "So what do we do when we get there? I mean, if it was so important to the Jedi Order, wouldn't the Empire know about it?"
"That's our problem," he said. "I asked Ahsoka, and she said that she went there soon after the Empire was formed, about a year after, in fact. She told me that there were already two Imperial cruisers in its orbit and one mining ship. They're doing something to Ilum, I just know it."
After planning that they had to leave tomorrow to get to the thawed cave, they confronted Anakin.
Which… wasn't easy.
"I swear, Obi-Wan, if you and Luke get into any trouble like we used to - "
"We won't, Anakin," said the older man, then paused. "Well, I suppose if he's anything like you, we'll get into some sort of predicament, but that's hardly the point."
"What do you mean that's hardly the point?" yelled Anakin, causing Luke to cringe. Why did his dad have to be so overprotective?
"Dad, we'll be okay," said Luke, getting closer to his father. "Besides, Artoo told me that he was going with us, so we'll be fine."
Luke winked at the droid, and he whirred in delight, something that translated to, You're kriffing right I'm going.
Anakin's hands balled up into fists. "Not you, too, Artoo? Look, I just want you to know that I don't approve of any of this."
"You've told us," said Obi-Wan.
"A million times!" said Luke in exasperation. "I don't understand why you won't just let me be a Jedi."
Suddenly, Luke felt his father's anger levels spike up, causing him to close his eyes, waiting for the brunt of an attack.
Anakin yelled, "You don't understand, Luke! Do you even know why we went into hiding?"
Luke, paralyzed with shock, only stood there. I don't know. I don't know, he wanted to whimper, but his mouth wouldn't move. Behind him, Ben put his hands on Luke's shoulders protectively.
"We were massacred, Luke. Massacred. And not just the knights. The padawans, and the younglings, too. Children your age - all so that Palpatine could become Emperor. Kriff, some of the strongest people I knew died. You'll never understand how dangerous it is to be a Jedi, and I…" Anakin's resistance totally crumbled, and in Luke's mind, he heard his father's voice:
I feel like I'm being a bad father by letting you become one.
Luke again failed to say a word.
His mother came rushing in to the room. "Anakin! I heard yelling, and…" Padmé trailed off, realizing what had just happened. She put her arm around Anakin's shoulders, hardly reaching because of the height difference.
Luke had never seen his father like this - not even on Empire Day, when he always became quiet and seemed somewhat mournful to Luke.
Now, he understood. Not fully, but sort of.
"Go to Ilum," said Padmé, her lips pressed together. She began to lead Anakin out of the Twilight, inclining her head to whisper to them. "Be safe. Come back."
With how everyone was reacting to Ilum, Luke really hoped that they would come home.
So, Anakin couldn't admit to Padme the extent of his visions (which broke my heart), they started tracking down Maul by researching about the Crimson Dawn, there is a Han and Leia moment (yay!), and Anakin is really stressed so he yells at Luke. Next chapter, Obi-Wan and Luke go to Ilum to look for Luke's lightsaber crystal, but they need to get past the Imperial occupation first. Stay tuned for the chapter on the anniversary of this story!
Thanks to all who reviewed last chapter. I believe I responded to everyone who had their PM enabled, but here are my responses to the ones who didn't:
BooksAreEverything3: I'm so sorry I made you cry! That happens to me when I read fanfictions as well, though.
Guest: Oh my goodness thank you! I'm so glad that you reread it and loved it. :)
Zukafew119: I kind of forget if I responded to you, but thanks for reviewing! It's an interesting point you make.
donutstar123: Of course! Thanks for your ideas and for your reviews.
Anyway, I love all of you guys! May the Force be with you and God bless.
-HH