Chapter 4 I'm With You by Avril Lavigne

"Emi, do you need another cheesecake? You devoured that piece pretty fast." Mira's usually chirpy voice almost made the auburn haired woman jump of her skin. It was either that or off the barstool that she was perched on.

Looking up at the mage she slowly nodded as she laid her head back down on the counter. She couldn't help but feel the familiar ping of jealousy towards the retired mage. She was beautiful, had a nice body, and her magic was useful for a lot of situations. Then there was her who wasn't that pretty in her own eyes, can only farm, and whose magic was only useful for recalling forgotten memories. So she could be jealous right?

"Can you add a sangria to that too please Mira? I feel like I deserve it." Emi called out as she tried to keep her headache at bay. She couldn't blame Cana for trying to drink her problems away even if it wasn't the answer.

Ever since she had that incident with her memories flooding her she swore that it never really left. Nothing was helping her medically which concerned her more than it should considering normally it would keep it at bay when she tried to sleep. But instead she could only toss and turn and get a small amount that was starting to show with how irritable she was getting. Laxus wasn't helping either since it felt like he was getting more and more on her nerves. If she didn't have to worry about her secret job then she would have kicked him out a long time ago.

But, that second job was keeping him there. She didn't want it exposed.

"Damn it all to hell," she grumbled as a plate of dessert and a glass of fruity alcohol was set in front of her. Just in time too in her opinion.

"You seem down in the dumps for some reason Emi. Something the matter?" Mira's voice caught her attention again but didn't scare her like last time. Worry was written clearly on her face as she watched the young woman in front of her stab her fork into the dessert. Something was the matter.

Should she even bother to tell her? Most people knew that suppressing your magic wasn't the way to go. But, she's done it for years with it bursting out when it become too much for her to handle. She also didn't feel like hearing the same lecture she used to get as a child from anyone since it would only remind her of Laxus and his complaining.

But knowing how Mira was she wouldn't let the subject drop until she was satisfied with an answer.

"Let me take a wild guess. You have a crush on someone and you don't know how to tell them." Mira blurted out as she leaned against the counter. The silence that she was getting from the young woman bothered her since noise was the normal to her in this guild hall.

Turning her attention to the retired S-class mage she shook her head quickly. Why couldn't Kinana be working today? She enjoyed Mira's company, but she tried too hard to set people up with others if not just butting into their business. "No."

"Aw. I was hoping that was the case. I really wanted it to be Freed or Bixlow because those two deserve all the love in the world for putting up with some of the things Laxus has done over the years."

This was coming from someone that was seeing their leader, Emi thought as she shoved a piece into her mouth to keep herself from speaking it aloud.

There was no way she could go for either of them but could give them a chance if it was possible. Freed came off as someone that didn't want a woman's company intimately. Not that she had anything against it, but she did consider him more of a friend than anything else.

Bixlow was something else all entirely. With his magic she knew that there could be no type of surprises or secrets between them. So, he was out of the question if she did feel that way towards him.

Besides love wasn't something she wanted in her life at the moment. Her life was too screwed up to begin with to throw in loving someone and considering their feelings. She had to get everything back in order if it was possible.

"Why should I be interested in anyone? I'm not strong." She muttered. Though it was a small lie all the way through if she thought about it. But she had to get that woman off her back somehow or else she would never be able to leave.

"You don't have to strong to love someone Emi. You should know that. Look at Levy. She has her own weaknesses and Gajeel is there to compensate for them." Mira argued as she watched the other woman shove what was left of the cheesecake into her mouth. "You have a lot of good things going for you that anyone would love. You just haven't found the right one yet."

An auburn eyebrow rose at the comment as she took a drink of the fruity alcohol. What good things? Were they invisible to the point everyone else could see them? What did she mean by not finding the right one yet? There was no such thing like that for her. Besides who would want to call someone like her as their significant other when she was too ashamed of her second job?

"Yeah. Right. Whatever you say Mira." She uttered harshly then finished off the drink. Quickly she pulled out some jewel and put it on the counter.

Mira's eyebrows knitted together as she watched the young woman. She was completely different from the person she once was seven years ago. She had her moments similar to this, but this was considered extreme compared to them. Something must have happened while they were gone, and she didn't want to talk about it.

"Emi―"

"Where's Natsu and Iron boy at? I thought they were here." Emi interrupted as her gaze danced around the ramshackle guild hall. It was empty much like when they were gone. It caused an all too familiar ache to grow in her chest as more memories flooded her.

"They're looking for pieces of a clock. Lucy's dad had a fragment to it, so they wanted to try to make her happy again."

Biting her lip as hard as she could without drawing blood, she kept quiet as she looked towards the simple calendar behind the bar. Deep down she knew what Lucy was going through but had no way to reach out to the blond. They might be guildmates, but she was still a complete stranger to Emi.

"Oh. I see." She answered and hurried out of the shack.

The urge to go home consumed her all of a sudden that it almost surprised her. She didn't care if Laxus was there or not. She felt all alone regardless which made her feel scared all over again. It wasn't on par to how scared she was back then, but it still made her throat constrict and her heart beat frantically in her chest. His obnoxious behavior could fill some of the void that consumed her, but it could never fill it all the way.

"Emi." A voice called out to her.

Stopping her stride, she looked around for the source. Could she be going crazy from the lack of magic usage? Or was she just overlooking the person?

"Emilia." The same voice called out once more but this time she noted that it was masculine with age. Once more she looked around. Unlike last time she found the owner of the voice.

"M-Master." She stumbled as her gaze fell to her feet as if she was in shame of doing something. "If Mira sent you to check on me. I'm fine. I promise you that I'm completely fine."

"No, you're not child. You're not how you used to be. The Emi that I know and watched grow wasn't afraid to smile through the pain. She was willing to speak about what was troubling her even if it meant crying because it made her angry." Makarov stated calmly though deep down inside he was not calm. He worried about her like the others and wanted to give whoever caused her to be like this a piece of his mind. "Answer my question please Emi."

She bit down on her cheek to keep herself silent. The pain hurt but not as much as what her head was causing. The desire to just spill everything was consuming her but he wouldn't be able to understand. He had a family left to love. She didn't so she was on a whole different plane than him.

"Talk to me child. I was the one you called grandpa when you were just a child." He said softly in some hope that it would break that wall she had built up.

"Because I had none." She whimpered as her throat burned. The desire to run also consumed her with wanting to break down. There was no way he would understand so why should she try to explain it to him? He was just like Mira who thought things would eventually get better.

"I guess that was a good start. Now what is weighing you down Emi?" He asked gently.

Looking up to meet the older man's gaze she let a small smile crack her emotionless mask before she allowed herself to follow her desires. She could never tell anyone what happened during the time they were gone. They wouldn't believe her or blame her for allowing it to happen.

"Emi! Wait!" Makarov called out as he reached out to catch the fleeing woman only to grasp air. If he had realized sooner, he would have grabbed her to force her to talk. But instead she ran like a spooked animal.

She ran as fast as she could. She didn't care if branches scratched her skin or caught her clothes. Nothing mattered but running from her problems once more. No destination even came to mind but she knew she had to get away from people that knew her. All she wanted was to be alone and allow her magic to run rampant like it was going to do whether she wanted it or not.

Skidding to a stop her grass green eyes danced to take in the scenery that was around her. The worn path in the grass that was before her told her one thing. Along with the trees that were a few yards in front of her. It was all too familiar because it wasn't far from the farm with how often she visited this place.

"There." Emi whispered as she followed the path to her destination.

I'm going to admit. I was going to originally use Mavis for this but something told me to use Makarov. Maybe because he is a grandfatherly type of person? Who knows. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and cliffhanger. Please review. :3