Chapter 8 I Apologize by Five Finger Death Punch

Why was he as pissed as he was? Was it because he witnessed everything from her perspective and couldn't do anything to protect her? Was he feeling like a failure once again? If so, it didn't sting as bad as when he lost that attempted takeover of the guild. It was either that or he just couldn't get over the intense pain she was feeling as she mourned her father. He couldn't forget the feeling of hopelessness and agony of her being violated by a complete stranger. Even now he wanted to get into the shower and scrub at his body until his skin was raw.

Now he knew why she acted the way she did. The way she tried to hide herself from the world and go unnoticed was completely understandable. Everything that made up her complex rotating emotions made sense to him now.

But it wasn't going to change the fact that he was pissed and wanted to commit murder if it came down to it. No one messed with anybody in the guild and got away with it. Gajeel had learned that the hard way from his own hands after his grandfather allowed him and Juvia to join. If it hadn't been for the fact that Gajeel took the bolt of lightning that was directed at Levy who knew what would happen then.

Quickly Laxus' eyes narrowed as his rage grew silently. It didn't help when he was nursing a bottle of alcohol that he kept stowed away in Emi's fridge for when he was in the mood for one. He knew it didn't help but it felt better than rushing out and trying to hunt someone down that he would never be able to recognize since she never saw that man's face. But it did help get things off his mind even for a short while. It was fine with him because it was better than letting the thoughts fester in his mind.

"Dammit all to hell." The lightning mage grumbled as he shifted to a laying position on the couch.

After all he had done from finding that woman and getting her to the guild his grandfather still didn't allow him to stay. It didn't surprise him since he wasn't a member of the guild but it would have been nice to get an idea on how she was doing. This was his grandfather, however. He tends to treat orphans and complete strangers better than his own family to help them get a sense of family.

Still would have been nice if someone came by to tell him how the stubborn short girl was. Even a small message by pigeon or Bixlow's babies to tell him she was okay or awake would suffice. If not he was going to go barging into the guild and get a lecture, he could hear his grandfather yelling into his ear. For someone that had stress being his number one enemy he sure let it consume his life.

Tapping his fingers against the shaped glass his gazed looked around the living room as best he could. Music was playing somewhat loudly from her recorder or whatever it was. He couldn't remember what its name was but he knew he could listen to his CDs with it. But he could feel a stillness in the air that bothered him. The entire property felt off and lonely without her there. Was this how she felt all this time before he demanded a place to stay?

A quick glance at the clock told him she would normally be hurrying in to start on dinner. Depending on the day she might have vegetables overflowing in her arms which he would call her stubborn for not asking any help. But every day she was covered in some kind of grim from working outside. Though, he didn't have room to talk. Asking for help from people he barely and being filthy from training wasn't his strong suit. By now he was going to owe her a new couch because this one had to smell of his sweat.

"Looks like it's going to be take out tonight." Laxus grumbled as he picked himself up off the couch. It was a bad move because his mind started to spin from the drink in his hand but it didn't change the fact he was alone in this house. It was too quiet without her there but he would never admit it aloud. Even the thought of no home cooked meal made her absence seem more visible.

How stupid was she to begin with? Erza he expected to not to ask for help with how bull headed she was. The same went with Gray since he seemed to be the most stubborn out of all of them that made up Team Natsu. He just knew that once he saw her again despite the lecture his grandfather gave him for being in the guild he was going to add in his own opinions.

He ceased his inner rambling as his hearing took in a noise at the front door that obviously wasn't there before. His grey eyes snapped over to the wall that hid the plain wooden door from his view. It could be Bixlow or Freed for all he knew because neither seemed to care when his temper flared.

But instead of the knock on the door like he expected he heard the jangling of keys and the locking coming undone. That meant it was only person that had a set of keys. Unless she decided to give her keys to someone in the guild to retrieve some of her things. Which if that was the case then it wouldn't be a good idea if he was spotted in the house. Though the idea of giving her something to be flustered about sounded like a plan.

Peeking over the back of the couch he took in the sight that could be mistaken for being in a fight when he caught sight of the person. It was Emi but she looked like she had fought a war all by herself or didn't sleep for a couple days when he knew it hadn't been that long. The usually wavy or straightened shoulder length auburn hair that shined and looked cared for looked flat and a rat's nest at the same time. Bags had already settled under her eyes as if sleep was evading her when it was the exact opposite. Unless it wasn't a restful sleep. Even her usually sparkling grass green eyes were dull and almost lifeless.

Slowly Emi peeked over at him and sighed as if she was admitting defeat. "Your grandfather scares me sometimes."

He almost burst into a laughing fit at the confession but held it back by snorting. That was something he could have told her all about especially witnessing it firsthand. It made people learn to second guess some of their actions unless they weren't smart enough to do that. Like Natsu.

Letting her shoulders slump even if they felt like they were on the verge of falling off with how far they were hunched already she let another sigh out. Her gaze fell to the worn hardwood floors. How was she going to tell him everything? She could already picture his objections over taking care of the place for a couple days. Most of the animals weren't fond of them since she helped raise them or did raise them from birth.

"What's your punishment from the old man?"

Looking up at him she felt a shiver race up her spine. A lecture would have suffice but apparently not to the old man. The part of staying with Lucy for a couple days wasn't bad but the other half was what scared her. Biting her lip Emi quickly looked away. "I'm going to be staying with Lucy for a couple days. So that means you'll have to fend for yourself and take care of the farm unless I get up early enough over there to get here."

His scarred eyebrow rose in question as he watched her. That was it? That couldn't be it. There had to be more because he knew his grandfather pretty well considering he practically raised him. "That can't be it. There has to be more."

"And I have to be a barmaid for him." She muttered under her breath. The thought embarrassed her because everyone knew their guild master had a dirty, perverse mind. So, knowing him he was going to have her in some kind of skimpy outfit. Even Mira might join in since she enjoyed tormenting people at times.

"What was that?" Laxus questioned as he stood up from the couch. Did he hear her say something or was he imagining it? He saw her lips move but did't hear anything come out because he swore he heard a part of it but it wasn't something he wanted to hear.

For someone who wasn't a first-generation dragon slayer he wasn't in tune with that beast like he should be by now. Instead he abused it in the past especially when he was trying to take control of Fairy Tail. He probably owed it an apology and then some if he could get in tune with it.

She could feel the heat gather in her face as her skin darkened as she looked away. All she wanted to do was run away and hide so she wouldn't have to do any of the punishments. She would even go as far as run until the ends of the earth if that's what it took.

"Well?"

"I-I have to be a barmaid for Master and Mira too." She answered louder this time. With no hesitation she ducked her head in an attempt to hide her blush.

"And that's a problem because?" Laxus asked as he shrugged. That didn't surprise him in the slightest. It was his grandfather after all, so it was a normal thing to him. He couldn't even recall the amount of times he had walked in to find his grandfather looking at some kind of dirty magazine.

Snapping her head to his direction she stared at him with wide eyes. Was he nuts? Had he not noticed how she barely went out with friends or dressed up like a lot of the female population in Fairy Tail. She was more conserved compared to Levy which should say something. But it didn't click for him apparently.

"I-I don't l-like showing skin." She replied shyly as she glanced down at her feet.

A roll of his grey eyes answered her. It was time for her to grow up even if it sounded like a lie to him. If she hated that way of dressing, then why did she become a stripper? It sounded hypocritical to him.

"Anyway, I gotta get some clothes. Lucy wants me over for dinner but I'll try to be over to do the animals." She stated as she walked away. Unconsciously her grip on his sound pod that she almost forgot she had tightened as a bit of pain echoed in her chest. The roll of his eyes made her want to rewind time and not say anything about the punishment.

She didn't wait for any type of reply even if she felt like she was walking in slow motion. The faster she got what she came to get meant the faster she could use the walk to calm herself down. Maybe she wasn't in control of her emotions like she originally thought she was. The thing she wasn't expecting was him to follow as if there were unfinished business between the two of them.

Automatically she went into her closet and grabbed a ragged newsletter type bag and tossed it onto the bed. From the look of it being made and not smelling of cinnamon and rain told her that he hadn't touched it since yesterday. She figured he would have considering that couch wasn't exactly comfortable.

"Just a couple days?" His voice scared her even if she could feel his eyes focused on her back.

Glancing at him from over her shoulder she nodded meekly. "If you want you can use my bed so you don't have to sleep on the couch. I'm sure it's probably killing your back or something."

Like how his body feeling from sleeping on the couch crossed his mind. All he wanted to do at the moment was go on a man hunt and kill the son of a bitch that hurt her still. Sleeping arrangements were the last thing he wanted to worry about. For all he cared about at the moment he could sleep on the floor. Even outside didn't matter to him as long as she didn't have to deal with the possibility of that man showing back up in her life again.

Quickly he closed his eyes and growled as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Are we going to talk about the fact that I witnessed your memories even if Bixlow was the one that found you?"

She stopped folding a pair of sweats and looked down at the grey material. But everyone said Laxus was the one that found her. Master Makarov said he looked almost frantic so why would someone say different? This meant she would have to ask Bixlow when she saw him next time.

Harshly, to the point she wanted to feel the slow ooze of blood, she bit down onto her lower lip. It meant being sucked back into the past which Porlyusica said was normal for traumatic events. She didn't want that to happen. Reliving it once a year was enough for her to handle and even then, it became too much.

"No." Emi whispered though it sounded like a hiss. "No, I don't."

His blond eyebrow rose in question. Even from where he stood in the doorway he could see the slight trembling of her shoulders. Was she crying or trying to hold back her anger? She was a complete mystery with how she reacted to things so it kept him on his toes.

Clamping her eyes shut she tried to will herself to not let the sobs escape her. He would call her weak and pathetic for letting her emotions get the best of her all the time most likely. She wanted to have it all be over so she could try to live a normal life even if anything normal wasn't possible with this guild. "I just want to keep running away from it all. All I want is to pretend to be normal when deep down I'm shutting down because I'm not normal. I'm living with invisible scars that no one will ever understand. I hate being by myself when it comes to getting groceries and such because I'm afraid it going to keep happening again and again."

Angst was all he could hear in her words It tugged at his heart because he knew what it was like. He felt like that when his mother disappeared out of his life when he could barely remember her. Then for his father to be expelled from the guild only made it worse. It felt like the world was out to conspire against him. But normally when it came to her he was unfazed by the range of emotions she had day by day.

"Why haven't you said anything? Why keep quiet?" Laxus questioned as he stepped into the room. Something told him to do it as if there was someone controlling his body but he wasn't about to fight it. He wasn't sure if it was just his gut, the dragon inside him, or something he didn't know.

It wasn't as simple as he made it out to be. He had his own life to live so she couldn't cause a burden every time she needed to go out into town or something.

Snapping her head around she stared at the blurred form that was the lightning mage. Why did she have to cry every time she got upset? Why couldn't she be like her father and keep a mask up when all she wanted to do was cry? "Be-Because you have your life. I didn't want rumors to spread and hu-hurt Mira. And I figured you didn't want to be caught out in public with me whether it be simple errands."

His eyelid twitched unconsciously as his hands balled into fists by his sides. The desire to yell built up in his chest but he pushed that ache back down to the depths it came from. Yelling wasn't the answer this time. He had to be gentle like when he had to deal with a younger Lisanna.

But to see how much pain she was putting herself through angered him. Everyone deserved to have someone to be a rock to lean on when times got tough. She didn't have one of those because that's what she decided when it was the wrong answer. "Fuck other peoples' opinions. If they gossip, they gossip. They can go kiss my ass for all I care because those things will go away. You need someone in your life that is going to be strong when you are at your weakest. I learned that a long time ago thanks to my stupid actions and shit like that."

For him it was easy. He was use to people doing just that especially when the Thunder Legion were articles in Sorcerer Weekly. It was like a walk in the park for him especially since he's dating a model for the magazine.

She was the complete opposite of Mira. The spotlight was something she tend to shy away from. She preferred a small group or being alone instead of having complete strangers invading her private life. Being at home curled up in her father's chair doing a puzzle or reading a book is what filled her past time if not tending to the farm. Being a popular person that was always in the news for something was definitely not her.

"That's so easy for you to say Mister I don't give a rat's ass. I actually give a fuck because of how things are. Since that damn incident it's constantly watching my back and stay home. I don't even see myself getting married or having kids like you. You at least have that chance with Mira."

Why was she bringing Mira into this? There was nothing between them anymore so who cares what she had going on in her life. He was living the way he wanted it to be.

"So you're letting something you can heal from dictate your future? You're letting that damn man win. If you're a part of Fairy Tail then you don't give up and continue to fight until your last breath." Laxus snapped which caused her to jump in surprise or fear. He wasn't for sure. Letting someone automatically win wasn't the Fairy Tail way. Everyone in the guild knew that.

Turning around fully she wiped at her eyes to stare at him clearly. He might have a point but there was no way she could see herself dating someone. Even if that person looked past her trauma there was no way she could be intimate with someone. It could bring back memories for all she knew. That was the last thing she wanted nor to lead someone one.

"I need to get going. Lucy's probably worried about me." She muttered as her gaze fell to the old wooden floor. The desire to stand there and argue with him was gone just like the sparkle in her grass green eyes. It was like the desire to live was snuffed out by their argument.

Hissing air through his teeth he crossed his arms. What would Natsu do in this type of situation? He hated to admit that he was relying on the dragon slayer's way of thinking but if it worked then that was all that mattered. Knowing the young man he probably try to beat the guy up after comforting her. He would even try his hardest to get her to smile in some reassurance that she would eventually go back to her old self.

The sound of a zipper closing caught his attention as he rattled his brain for a solution. Did she rush through packing just to get away from him? He must have touched a nerve if that was the case. He also had to change it if that meant saving his ass from being thrown out and what he figured was a friendship of some kind. "Hey Emi."

"Leave me alone Laxus. You've done enough to prove that I'm a person that deserves what I got coming for me."

That hit a nerve. He never even hinted at what she was talking about. So why was she putting words in his mouth. "No, you need to listen."
Throwing the bag over her shoulder she turned to look at him. The dull glare that was focused on him stung. Maybe even worse when his grandfather expelled him from the guild. "What?"

"You need to stop reading into everything. If you need help just reach out. If someone is giving you a hard time then let me know. I'll handle it." He stated calmly even though on the inside he wanted to rush over to her and shake her shoulders until she could understand what he was saying. The thought of lecturing her came to him but he didn't act on any of them.

What crawled up him all of a sudden? She couldn't help but wonder that as she stared at him in confusion. It made her curious as to why he was sticking up for her and willing to be a bodyguard almost.

"I can't help it." She whispered as she glanced down at her feet.

"Then it's time for you to try. Its obvious Fairy Tail isn't going to leave you behind or our resident cosplayer wouldn't have opened her home to you."

She nodded softly as she listened. He had a point. They could have left her behind to suffer but instead they stayed with her even when some of them missed out on seven years of their lives. Looking up she bit the inside of her cheek as she ran thoughts through her head.

Should she bother telling him what happened at the guild? Would it even matter at this point? Would it change the fact that he was trying to black mail her?

"Um . . . Laxus they know." She muttered as she clamped her eyes shut. She couldn't bear to see his reaction once the news sunk in. His voice would be a good enough indication for him to know if he was pissed or not. But to be around him was a bad idea since he seemed to get violent unless he's changed from the last time she saw him.

They know? Know what? It felt like she was beating around the bush which annoyed him. Crossing the room to where she stood next to the bed, he grabbed hold of her shoulders and shook him. It also made him realize once again how short she was compared to him even if she seemed short next to Evergreen if he thought about it. But it felt good to act on his impulse but with some that he was feeling he couldn't act on since he wasn't out and about with Bixlow. "What the hell are you talking about Emi?"

"Stupid." She grumbled as she opened her eyes only to look away from him. All she could smell was fresh rain with a hint of spice instead of the usual lavender and lilac. It took her back to the simpler days of playing in the rain at home or guild especially after a hot summer day. It was intoxicating to the point she almost got lost in the forgotten childhood memories.

Narrowing his eyes he leaned in closer until his face was inches away from hers. Staring into her grass green orbs he tried to figure out what she was being so chatty but secretive about. He wasn't even sure if he could get use to her being like this instead of the quiet, meek girl he blackmailed. It definitely was a change of pace that was needed because it was getting boring around her.

"I'm stupid huh?"

A squeak escaped her as she felt heat gather in her face. The scent of warm alcohol made her look into the grey eyes that reminded her of storm clouds with how much they reflected his growing annoyance. The warmth of his breath was slightly comforting because it meant he was still next to her. Though it scared her since he was rash like Natsu at times. It had to be a trait all of Fairy Tail members had.

"N-No."

"It sounded like you said just that. Now spill it clearly or I might have to force it out of you." Laxus threatened. Using his weight to win the battle against her would be easy. From watching her on the farm he knew she had a small definition of muscle but not enough that it would overpower him.

Quickly she shook her head in defiance. But it caused some of the layers locks to slap him in the face.

"Fine. Your funeral." The lightning mage muttered with a shrug. With no hesitation in his actions he shoved her back first into the plush of the comforter. If she wanted to stand up to him and be sassy, then he wasn't afraid to push back and show his alpha status.

Another squeak escaped Emi as she watched the usually calm grey eyes dance more and more like storm clouds. Deeps down she knew she screwed up and pissed him off but a part of her actually enjoyed seeing him all riled up. It reminded her of the past when he used to constantly demand to go on certain requests and somehow got his way.

"Now Emi let's try this again. Did you call me stupid or not?" The dragon slayer whispered dangerously as he leaned down. He could feel her short and shaky breaths on his face but didn't know whether they were from fear or not. "And while we're at it tell me what you said."

Should she give in to his demands? Would he even be satisfied with them when she did? It could be asking for a death wish if she didn't because of how unpredictable he could be.

Silence stretched between them as they both sized up the pros and cons of what to say. Though Laxus could feel a laugh threatening to come because the thought of someone walking in on them like this would be a prized piece to him. He couldn't understand why he enjoyed seeing her flustered but for some reason it was always comical.

Looking away once more the farmer tried to ignore the threat and closeness of him. It felt comfortable but uncomfortable at the same time. "Get off me Laxus."

"Answer the question first."

Her eyes narrowed as they snapped back to him. The look in his eyes reminded her of a predator that was after its prey which unnerved her. It didn't sit right with her, causing her skin to crawl. Fear crept its way through her body as her mind filled with the images she longed to forget. But, every now and then they would fade into him being involved instead of that stranger that damaged her.

"Laxus I said get off me." She whimpered as she tried her best to shove him off. Instead she found him rigid with determination.

"Just answer me and I will." He stated calmly as he watched her closely. He couldn't help but keep watch as her grass green eyes widened at the hidden threat. Even from where he held her or grazed her body by accident, he could feel heat rolling off her in waves. It reminded him of Natsu and how the dragon slayer barely got a chill on the coldest days.

"Get off me!" Raising her voice wasn't something she wanted to do along with kick at him. Like she wanted to try to cause harm and piss him off more than he already was.

For someone that he was so used to being so timid around him and other people he was surprised at the balls she had hidden. Most people would try to stay out of his way while Natsu actively sought his ass getting kicked. There had to be something wrong with him if he enjoyed coming back for more.

"I don't want to alright?! Even if people say talking about it will make the healing easier it doesn't for me. Instead I just relive it. I can feel that man's hands on my neck and body as he defiled me. I can scrub my body clean for as long as I want to but I can still feel it." Emi whispered as she felt a sob escape her. Clamping her eyes shut the fight that he saw had drained from her body as she turned her head.

The anger he once was feeling at the man returned tenfold but it mingled with the pain for the young farmer. Slowly he let go of her and crawled off her. Him being in her personal space probably didn't help matters. Was this what that trauma caused? People tend to put on faces and act like everything was right with the world but not her. It was obvious how much that man took from her and the price she was still paying.

Covering her face with a pillow she tried to muffle any noise she made. She hated all the crying that she's done today because of how weak she felt. That didn't include the mental strain that it also cause. Mentally she thanked the mage for getting off her so she could attempt to calm down.

That man will pay. One day he'll find him and make him pay for hurting someone in his family. Laxus will make sure of that.

Peeking over at her he watched as her breathing slowly calmed as she laid there. He was even thankful when she pulled the pillow away to show her bloodshot eyes. The fact that she was calming down made a part of him grateful though he wasn't sure what that part of him was.

Taking a shaky breath Emi watched him from the corner of her eye on the off chance he tried to pin her down again. "They know about you staying here and why Laxus. I told them everything."

Looking at her he almost expected her to grow a second head. Even sprouting a tail and saying she was a demon was something he almost expected to come out of her mouth. This wasn't the Emi he was used to. He was so used to her being secretive and trying her hardest to keep people from knowing about the situation she was in. It was almost like the old Emi was trying to prove she could do anything was back. It almost scared him like Mira being pissed or Acnologia attacking.

He seemed speechless to her as she watched him for any type of reaction. But instead of him spouting something off or storming around he was just silent. Which scared her to say the least.

"Laxus?"

"What did gramps say?" He asked as he looked away. Already he could hear the disappointment in his voice as he lectured him for the millionth time. He probably was disappointed in him all together.

"Nothing really. He was more in shock I think." Emi answered with a small shrug.

Picking herself off the bed she glanced over at the blond. For someone that still acted like a jerk at times and what not he had changed. His eyes weren't as hard as stone but reminded her of grey clouds heavy with rain. Even if he acted like he was looking out for only himself she knew he was putting others in front of him. At least that's what she thought when she overheard him talking to someone from the Thunder Legion outside.

"What? Do I have something on my face?" Laxus questioned cautiously. Having her back as a blubbering mess wasn't something he needed.

She replied with a shake of her head. Grabbing the sound pod she held it out to him with a small smile. "Thanks for letting me use it Laxus. It . . . um . . . helped me out with the storm."

He almost rolled his eyes but stopped himself from giving into the desire. Now she was being sappy but he could see why when he stuck himself in her shoes. She was the only person he knew that was petrified of storms but with the trauma she endured during one anyone would be like that.

A gasp escaped him suddenly as he felt arms wrap around his torso gently and her chin sit on his chest. Instead of getting the faint whiffs of lavender and lilac he got the full force with a soft scent of honey in her hair. That scent surprised him as he breathed it in. He expected the smell of vanilla or something that was kind of girly.

But why was she hugging him all of a sudden?

"Even if we get on each other's nerves I'm glad you're here Laxus. Thank you for finding me and letting me use your sound pod. I really appreciate it." She whispered. The aroma of rain and cinnamon didn't seem like the type of scents to mix but right now it was comforting just like hugging him. Having someone at the house was also comforting instead of her being tormented by the ghosts of what could have been.

Looking into the auburn hair he felt shock and surprise run through his system. The last thing he expected was for her to thank him let alone hug him to show appreciation. She was slowly changing back into her old self with different parts of her changed. This wasn't the same girl that got on his nerve constantly but a young woman that knew when to talk and keep quiet.

Closing his eyes he took a deep breath without meaning to and let it out as a sigh. This Emi was someone he could get used to. "It got you to stop jumping around from the thunder. Gramps was at his wits end and I got drenched in the process of getting it. But, whenever you need it just ask."

A soft nod answered him which he was content with the silence between them.

I hope there was fluff there for you guys. Please review!