{~}
Kondou has finally arrived at the Shinsengumi headquarters. He was incredibly tired after pursuing his mission of courting Otae at her workplace but every punch he took was worth it.
Just as he was heading to his room, he caught Toshi leaning, no, hiding behind a pillar. Kondou tilted his head in surprise and confusion.
"Toshi, what are you doing? You'll set a bad example for our men, you know."
In a flash, Toshi has pulled him beside him, sweat rolling on his face to the collar of his uniform. "Like you're one to talk Kondou-san. For now, let's keep quiet before they find us."
At this, Kondou's eyes got sharper. "Terrorists? Early this morning, huh." He tried to look where Toshi was hiding from but all he could see was a heavy mist enveloping the compound.
"No, it's far more dangerous than terrorists. But Yamazaki already called for some backup."
"Eh?! If its that dangerous, then shouldn't we attack them before they cause any more trouble?" To even call for a backup like Toshi isn't strong enough to discipline them... "Just who are these people?"
In a hushed tone that Kondou thought sounded slightly terrified, the Vice Commander of the Shinsengumi answered, "The first squadron, assigned with the bathroom cleaning duty."
As if on cue, they appeared behind the two superiors. Their men were wearing masks with what looked like deranged eyes, holding buckets, sprays, plungers, and Matsui sticks like they're a form of weapons. Stumbling over them, they croaked their names while Kondou cannot decide whether they're cosplaying zombies or impersonification of clowns.
"Germs, germs, germs!"
"Kondou-san, run-"
Screams echoed throughout the compound.
Kamiyama groggily saluted to their captain, a plunger stuck in his butt. "Capt'n, germs are away!"
The first division captain keeps on spraying a tissue box, his eyes black and face vacant.
"The amount of dirt we had to witness... This disaster shall end soon, Capt'n!"
Two unforgiving and accusing pairs of eyes were aimed at Gintoki, who couldn't control his nervous laughter as they hide behind the barracks. He tried to properly apologize and admit his grave fault but in doing so, he barfed all the alcohol he shared with Sakamoto just a while ago. He couldn't contain it. How could he when they drank all night long, talking about the stars and the girls and the bills to be sent to Mutsu?
"Gin-san! Avoid getting this mess worse than it already is!"
"Do not ever come home stinking like that, Johnny."
Shinpachi and Kagura heaved Gintoki off the Shinsengumi's walls in a futile attempt to lessen their crimes.
But before they could escape, the Shinsengumi First Division arrived.
"Germs, germs, germs!"
"Aaaaah!"
Gintoki was immediately let go of his two idiotic friends, gurgling his signature scream in the middle of barfing.
This is not war, this is an apocalypse!
Not long after throwing their guardian away, Shinpachi felt two strong grips on his ankles. Hijikata and Kondou struggled through the disinfectants and detergents as they crawled towards him. "Be one with us."
At least, Shinpachi got to voice out his signature screech.
Kagura looked back at the sound. "Shinpachi?! Did you get eaten by them?! Don't worry, your Otsuu merch is safe in Sadaharu's mouth!"
"Oh," Sougo's blank stare gave her goosebumps, unsure what action to take. But when he raised his spray, not even the mighty Yato could evade his uncharacteristic attack. "Germs."
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Cockroach.
Cockroaches everywhere.
And they're not decreasing. But neither their disgust and determination to drive the pests away.
Clumped inside the small closet Kagura calls her room were the Odd Jobs idiots. Down on their floor is a den of evil crawling bastards lurking in every room. And Gintoki had enough of this chapter.
They ought to get pest control.
"I told you to throw away the empty boxes of sukonbu! Look, they barely touched the strawberry milk. It's definitely not my fault!"
"How dare you point that piece of wood to me! That cheap sword reeks like your foot. It's definitely your wooden sword and your feet' fault!"
"Stop it, both of you! Look, the Shinsengumi is going house to house in this time of the pest season so let's calmly wait for them, okay?"
"And why are they appearing after that huge screentime above? Tch, screen-grabbing bastards."
"They can't even clean the germs properly. Tch incompetent bastards."
"Apparently, the Shogun is about to go somewhere with the Shinsengumi director. They're cleaning the place before he shows up."
"So they'll just barge in uninvited to our home like before."
"Oh! I just had an amazing idea, yes!"
"Kagura-chan, what are you doing with your sukonbu?"
Just when Hijikata and the others barged in their home, Kagura threw an empty box of sukonbu to his face.
"What the-" Before he could retort, Gintoki did the same with thrice the number.
Shinpachi brazenly watched the roaches to engulf the supposedly 'Demon' Vice Commander, along with the troop he brought in. From inside his coat, a radio cackled before a voice came out.
"Hijikata-san, we're done spraying here. The shogun can come now, right?"
Only screams and cries and barfs can be heard.
"Hijikata-san? Could it be the poison I put in your mayonnaise earlier?"
No response.
When Sougo and his troop arrived at the Snacks Otose bar, they could only wonder why the upper floor is as lively as ever. But when he opened the door as if he has the right, he could feel slight pity when he saw their superior being feasted by pests. His comrades shouted at the sight.
Well, well, if pests can take this demon down, then pests may be the rulers of hell.
Sougo only took a couple of steps before he deftly caught an empty familiar box. He was about to erase the smug grin off of China but he stilled when she pointed a finger.
"You're it, Sadist."
That's when he truly understood.
Do not ever underestimate the power of the pests you grew at home.