Amy's Story
Chapter 10:
As Mrs. Muir, Mrs. Whitman and Amy boarded the train to Boston on that April morning, A.A. Cooper, and his wife Phyllida boarded also. A.A. had decided that a honeymoon touring Europe for the next four months would be just the thing to finally bring their marriage to consummation, and he had booked passage for them from Boston to England. When they returned to Schooner Bay in the fall, they were expecting their first child.
Buffalo was a good-sized city, and Amy had been on a much longer train trip from there to her brother's home, but she was still enthralled with everything in and outside the train car on their trip. She was full of questions, only some of which Agnes and Carolyn were able to answer. Finally, when they were on the outskirts of Boston, she was struck dumb as she absorbed the largeness of the city, it's streets, it's harbor, and it's buildings.
Junius Porter was at the train depot to meet them. He had secured the services of a hack to transport the ladies to their hotel and escorted them safely inside. After their baggage was deposited in their rooms, he took them to a small tea-room nearby for a light lunch. Amy had never been in such an establishment, and her excitement was contagious. It was all the quartet could do to keep their conversation to a polite level, and the Colonel found himself enjoying the younger woman's questions and comments so much, that he promised to take everyone site-seeing after all their shopping was done in a few days.
The happy scene was repeated that evening when they all gathered together again in the ornate dining room of the hotel. This time, everyone was dressed in their best dinner clothes and Amy had a sprig of silk flowers in the bun of hair that Agnes had put up for her. She giggled heartily when Junius picked up her hand and placed a kiss on it. She would definitely teach Red to do that. It was so elegant! Carolyn Muir was so fortunate to have a man like Colonel Porter courting her. He was exceptionally nice, and she liked how sweet he smelled when he was close to her. And he was handsome, and dashing and refined! She hoped that he and her friend would marry and have a beautiful wedding and maybe even a baby or two. That would be so wonderful. Naturally, she would enjoy being at the celebration and perhaps Carolyn would even ask her to be in the wedding party. That would mean a new fancy gown, of course and Red would need something better than his usual Sunday clothes. There were so many things she would have to think of!
It was a good thing that Carolyn had no idea of what Amy was thinking because she would have burst out laughing. She liked Colonel Porter, but she hardly knew him. They had exchanged letters for the past six weeks and he was clearly well-educated, knowledgeable and had traveled abroad. He was definitely someone she wanted to get to know better, but marriage was not something she was thinking about. Agnes Whitman, on the other hand, knew her sister-in-law well enough to know what Amy's expression meant. The young woman was off in her own fantasy land and probably thinking of something to do with the Colonel, which was fine as far as it went. However, if she voiced her thoughts on whatever she was thinking about, it could prove to be quite embarrassing. They had talked often in the last week before the trip about not saying the first thing that jumped into her mind, and what was and was not appropriate conversational material between herself and a gentleman. Agnes hoped and prayed that Amy would remember those lessons now amid her excitement.
The next morning, the ladies headed to the cloth shops. The men of The Schooner Bay Home for Invalid and Indigent Seamen needed new and lighter pants and shirts for summer, Carolyn and Martha were in need of summer shirtwaists, skirts and aprons and Agnes and Amy were looking for a light-weight suit material for the Reverend. They all needed to restock thread and sewing notions as well. After arranging for their purchases to be shipped back home, Carolyn, Agnes and Amy stopped into a shop specializing in leather goods. All of the seamen needed new belts and Amy only had heavy winter boots that were in acceptable condition, so the purchase of lighter shoes for her was a priority. After a brief stop for lunch, they decided that it wouldn't hurt to look at the hats in a millinery shop. While none of them needed a new hat, they gathered ideas for how to refresh the ones that they did have. This led them back to the large notions store where there were stuffed birds and feathers of every description, a garden of silk flowers and a jungle of silk leaves and gutta percha berries, nuts, and fruits to fill a large fruit bowl. Amy was entranced by a stuffed red squirrel with one paw raised as if in greeting, but Agnes felt it was too much for Schooner Bay. She and Amy soon agreed upon some silk flowers and a few feathers to put into her best hat. Carolyn found some pretty, pink-tinted tulle and silk rosebuds for a summer straw boater and a few new feathers and silk bows to freshen up her "going-to-church" hat.
By the time they left the notions store, they realized that they had walked a long way from their hotel. It still wasn't too late in the afternoon, and they would have plenty of time to rest and refresh themselves before Colonel Porter met them again for dinner, so they strolled along, looking into the storefronts that they passed. They came across a bookshop which gave Carolyn a few ideas. Her seamen were always looking for more books to read, especially if it had anything to do with the sea. She needed another daybook and while she would be browsing, she just might find a little present for someone special. She thought for a while about a collection of sonnets, beautifully bound. She knew he liked good literature and who was better than Shakespeare, Coleridge, Byron, and Elizabeth Barrett Browning? But the love poems would seem much too forward. She continued looking until Amy became restless and even Agnes was looking bored. She finally found the perfect book, hidden in a little corner and swiftly paid for it with her own money.
That evening the women regaled Junius with their tales of shopping, and he had the good manners to look interested, despite his complete lack of disinterest in the different types of cloth and accessories they bought. The bookshop was more aligned with his interests and he listened closely to what Carolyn had picked out for Gull Cottage. Nevertheless, she didn't mention her other purchase.
The next morning was delightfully warm and just right for some sightseeing. Colonel Porter took them to seen the Commons, Faneuil Hall, the newly opened Boston Museum of Fine Arts, and the Old North Church. While they were strolling on Boston Commons, they noticed a baby in a large and ornate perambulator. The baby's parents were nearby, admiring something or other when the little group looked into the carriage and ooohed and ahhhed over the child, a boy of about six months with a little bit of reddish hair at the top of his head. His mother glanced over and smiled when she saw the respectable-looking group, and then turned her attention back to her own red-headed husband. The Colonel, Carolyn, and Mrs. Whitman began to continue their stroll, not realizing at first that Amy had not joined them. It didn't take long for Agnes to look around for her though and she gasped at what she saw; Amy had taken the baby out of the carriage and had turned toward then as if to steal away with the child. Suddenly, there was a rush of people around Amy and the baby, raised voices, raised fists and some nasty epithets. Amy was shocked at the commotion she had seemingly caused and kept explaining to anyone who would listen that she imagined that the little boy looked like he could have been son to her and Red, and she just wanted to hold him for a moment. She would never hurt him, and she knew she couldn't take him home with her. Quickly but gently, she laid him back in the perambulator and tucked the blankets around him securely. The boy's father had Colonel Porter by the arm, and he demanded that the group remove "that ugly creature" to someplace secure, where she couldn't harm others and steal their children. Porter was about to remonstrate with the younger man, but the baby's mother was sobbing in relief and Agnes had dragged Amy down the lane to give her a talking to. Carolyn stepped up to the father and with a few quiet words of apology, put her arm on her friend's elbow and urged him along.
Agnes had never planned for her and Amy to join Mrs. Muir and Colonel Porter that evening. It was very clear that they wished to have supper alone at the elegant Parker House Restaurant. But even if they had been invited, Agnes was still so angry at Amy that she was thinking some very uncharitable thoughts about bread and water for an evening meal. Fortunately for Amy, their hotel included meals in its rates and the two Whitman women silently went down to their evening repast at six while Carolyn was still dressing.
Junius was all smiles when Carolyn descended the stairs. She wore the blue and ecru dress she had worn at the Cooper's engagement party the year before and thanked her stars that due to Captain Gregg's involvement, the Colonel would have no memory of it. Unfortunately, that started her thinking once again about Daniel Gregg and his long absence from her life. She really missed him terribly, even after all these months, but she seemed to have no control over his comings and goings.
A light rain was falling that evening and while she and Porter were crossing the short distance between the hotel and the door of the hansom cab, Junius gathered her close to him. It felt quite nice to be protected against his shoulder. He was always quite solicitous of her, well-mannered and yet obviously eager to be in her company. She thought he was a dear man, and quite handsome as well. She enjoyed being with him of course, but later that night as she was thinking of her evening, she admitted that it wasn't the same passion as she had felt with her late husband. And it wasn't the same soul-connection as she had known with Daniel. Nothing would or could feel like that, she knew, and that was what was the crux of the problem. While she was with Junius at the Parker House, however, it had been a beautiful evening. The wine was excellent, and the food was first rate. He had gone all out to impress her, ordering caviar, oysters, terrapin soup, squab, and a most outrageous dessert. Her head was spinning from the food, wine and the warmth of the room and his smile as well. It was the reason why she didn't see it coming. After they had finished their meal, the Colonel reached into his breast pocket and removed a small velvet pouch.
"My dear Carolyn," he began in a soft voice so only she could hear him, "I have been enchanted with you from the start," a start which he couldn't quite remember. "I have lived my life in large cities and small towns, in garrisons and in the fields and I've met many women, high-born and low. But I've never met one whom I could love as much as I love you. I took a long time to find a wife and help-meet. I despaired of living out the rest of my life alone and was almost resigned to that fact when I met you. And then you stepped into my world and everything changed. Would you do me the honor of agreeing to become my wife?" He withdrew a gold band with a deeply set diamond in it and moved to pick up her left hand.
Carolyn was stunned. She quickly removed her hand from the vicinity of his and saw how he immediately began to frown, closing his eyes tightly to prevent tears from forming.
"Junius….I'm without words. I had no idea you felt this way, so soon in our friendship. I feel like I'm just getting to know you. I'm…I'm not ready for this. For this step. To think of such a deep and consequential committment."
"My apologies, Carolyn. I assumed you….I assumed too much."
"I'm not saying 'no', Junius. I would like to get to know you better…"
"Yes, of course. I understand."
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When the women arrived home the next evening, there was a whole reception committee waiting for them at the station. Carolyn had been unusually quiet all the way from Boston, and Agnes intuited the reason why and let her have her space. Even Amy felt the sadness emanating from her. Once back in Schooner Bay, all she wanted to do was get back to Gull Cottage. The answers she needed would be found there, she knew, and if not, at least she would be home in her own place with her own things and her own bed. While most of the men hugged and kissed her like she'd been away for four months instead of four days, Martha and Nate quietly took her to the smaller wagon where Sunshine was patiently waiting to be directed up the hill.
Amy, of course, had only Red on her mind. There had to be a way for them to get married and have a little home of their own. She had missed him very much, even though it was only a few days, and for once, Red admitted that he had missed her, too. There, in front of everyone, he finally gave her a kiss, and not one on the hand or cheek either. He kissed her full on the lips and told her that it was all he could do to wait until she got back. The crowd around them looked at each other, astonished at what they were witnessing. That night, Reverend and Agnes Whitman began the first of several very serious talks. Was there a way that Red and Amy could marry and be together? Did they understand the seriousness of marriage? How independent could they be? The couple themselves talked about those very things over the next few weeks. Red had come to understand that Amy was an important part of his life and the days were better whenever they had time together, but it seemed like those hours were never enough. The men of the Home also spoke with them and what their responsibilities to each would be if they married. It was Sam and Hannibal who finally came up with a solution.
It was clear that neither could the couple manage a home of their own, even a small one, without supervision and the involvement of others. It was equally clear that Amy could not move into Gull Cottage with Red. However, there was plenty of room on the grounds to erect a small three-room house; a parlor, bedroom, and bathroom. They could still have meals, socialize, and work in Gull Cottage itself, but have their privacy. Nate and Sam went to talk to the Trustees of the Schooner Bay Home for Invalid and Indigent Seaman who were agreeable, as long as someone could be found to finance the cost of the building. When Albert Allan and Phyllida Cooper heard of the scheme, they wired Adolphus Adam and pledged the entire cost of the project. And it was Martha who named the little house "Wren Cottage". Red and Amy were married by Reverend Whitman in the front yard of Gull Cottage on July 4th and she was a beautiful bride, and he was a proud groom. After the wedding cake and champagne punch, the new couple made their way to Wren Cottage to begin their married life together.
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Carolyn was also wrapped up in her own thoughts that night back from Boston and for many nights to come. Junius Porter was a good man and would make an excellent husband. But did she want that? She knew what she really wanted, but that was not possible, not in this life at any rate. After getting back into her usual routine, she remembered the little book she had bought in Boston. She had always meant it as a peace-offering to Captain Gregg. It had never been intended for the Colonel and it was a book of excellent etchings of the finest American sailing ships.
One night a few weeks after she had returned home, she laid the book, wrapped in fine paper, on the mantlepiece of her side of the fireplace. The Captain's portrait still graced the other side in the parlor. Saying a little prayer, Carolyn called out to the seaman.
"Captain Gregg, please won't you show yourself? I have something for you, from Boston and I think you will like it. It's a little peace-offering from me to you." The room remained silent. She wondered how everything had gotten so mixed up and so wrong? She had written to Porter and he had answered, but the correspondence was formal and stilted. The last time she had seen Daniel Gregg, she had been dancing until dawn with him. He had wanted her as much as she wanted him. If she felt like her heart was being held in a vice over him, did he not feel the same way? It finally came to her that he had removed himself from her to encourage her relationship with the army man, and she felt like a fool for not seeing what was right in front of her nose.
"You should know that Junius Porter asked me to marry him. I couldn't say 'yes' to him because I was still hoping that you…you and I….might find something, somehow…to…share". Tears were running down her cheeks as she turned away from the fireplace. The room continued to remain silent. "Daniel, please!" It was a cry from her heart. What was the point of going on if he would not even speak with her? Her tears continued to stream down her face as she held on to the back of her desk chair. Finally, she could stand no more, even with the assistance of the chair back and sunk to the floor. Her heart was broken, she was broken, the world was broken.
She felt his presence before she heard his voice. He gathered her close to him and rocked her like one would rock a child, smoothing the loose strands of hair away from her face. There on the floor he murmured soft words to her, apologizing over and over again. Then, when she had calmed at last, he picked her up and carried her to her bed and joined her there at last.
The End