"Professor Snape called a House meeting. Be in the common room at five o'clock today," Gemma said as she stopped next to where Rachel was sitting with several of the other second year students.
"What's going on?" Draco asked.
"He didn't say, I imagine he'll tell us at five o'clock. Pass the word on to others in your year when you see them," Gemma said, continuing on to deliver her message down the table.
Rachel put down her turkey sandwich, suddenly feeling sick. Professor Snape wouldn't tell the whole House what had happened, would he?
"Hair-Raising potion today then?" Theo asked, looking up from where he'd been reading in his two-way book.
"Yes," Rachel said, picking up her goblet of pumpkin juice and taking a sip in an attempt to settle her stomach.
"That's such a weird potion, why do we even learn it?" Millie asked. "It's not like it's useful."
"It demonstrates the interaction between Billywig stings and porcupine quills," Theo said. "Also, it's just brewing practice. The more we brew different potions, the better we get at it."
"The better you get at it, maybe. I suspect I'll never be anything but average in Potions," Millie said.
"You do better than most of the class, that's above average," Theo said.
"Well, we all do. Because we study. If the other students studied, they'd do well too," Millie said.
"But they don't, most of them anyway. Give yourself some credit, Millie. You do fine," Theo said.
"You're both making me sick over here. Get a room," Draco said, fake gagging onto his plate. "Besides, Millie is right. Not everyone has a natural talent in every subject. People like myself, and Rachel, are talented in Potions."
Rachel looked up upon hearing her name. "I just study, Draco. I think it's interesting."
"You study and you're talented, just like me," Draco repeated.
"Rachel studies more than you do," Millie said.
"That's because I had tutors when I was younger. Last year and this year are basically just reviews for me. Rachel, be my partner in Potions today. I'm with Theo and Blaise all the time," Draco said.
"Sorry, I already promised Neville I'd partner with him," Rachel said. She supposed partnering with Draco wouldn't be bad, but she didn't want to leave Neville on his own either.
"Theo can partner with Neville. There, problem solved," Draco said with a nod.
"Rachel can pick her own partners," Theo said, closing his book.
"Alright, if it means so much to you, we can ask Neville when we get to class if he minds partnering with you." Draco rolled his eyes. "Do the three of you even speak to anyone else?"
"Rachel and I are friends with Pansy and Daphne, right Pansy?" Millie asked, leaning so she could see where Pansy and Daphne were sitting next to Crabbe and Goyle.
"Yes, we're friends," Pansy said. "Don't bring me into this, Draco."
"And I'm friends with Blaise," Theo said.
"Then where is he?" Draco asked.
"In the library, talking to one of the Ravenclaw girls that he likes," Theo answered.
"Lisa or Mandy?" Draco asked.
Theo stood up and looked over at the Ravenclaw table. He sat back down again after a moment. "Given that Mandy is over there talking with Padma, my guess would be Lisa."
"Too bad. Mandy is prettier," Draco said.
"And with that, I think it's time we go collect our things for Potions," Millie said, standing up.
Theo stuffed the rest of his sandwich in his mouth and also stood.
Rachel pushed away her sandwich, grabbed her bag, and joined them.
"Draco's such a prat," Theo said once they were out of the Great Hall. "You should try sharing a room with him. Rachel, you can tell him no."
Rachel shrugged. "I don't care if I partner with him, I just don't want to leave Neville on his own."
"He won't be alone. If you're with Draco, I'll partner with Neville. But really, you don't have to give Draco his way just because he demands something," Theo said.
"Though Merlin knows he won't stop whining until he gets his way," Millie added.
Rachel shrugged again. She really didn't care. In the grand scheme of things it didn't matter who she partnered with in Potions. "Sapere aude," she told the blank wall that led to their common room. The doorway formed in response to the password.
"See you in a few minutes," Theo said as he broke off to go to the boys dorms.
"I'm going to the bathroom," Rachel told Millie as they went into the hallway for the girls dorms. She went inside the bathroom and walked over to the sink and stared at herself in the mirror.
She wasn't sure what was wrong.
All day she'd been feeling numb and distant, like she was observing the world around her but she had no connection to it. She could hear Millie and Theo talking in the Great Hall, but she couldn't make herself join in.
Why was she being so stupid?
Rachel took off her glasses, turned on the cold water tap, and leaned down to splash some water on her face. She had to snap out of this. She couldn't brew potions like this. If there was anything that Professor Snape had taught them it was that brewing potions without your full attention on the work was an accident waiting to happen. The last thing she needed to do was disappoint Professor Snape more than she already had.
She dried her face on her sleeves, tied her hair back, and put her glasses back on. She supposed she felt a little better. It would have to do.
She went to her dorm, collected her potions kit and her cauldron, and went back out into the common room. It was nearly deserted since most people were still at lunch.
"So, one of us needs to tell Hermione that we're not revising the entire first year curriculum, and I do not volunteer for this task," Theo said as Rachel joined them. "We can help Ginny and Luna prepare, that's fine, but we're not doing full study sessions on both first year and second year material."
"It will help us prepare for our OWLs," Millie said in a very Hermione like voice before she cracked up laughing. "Fine, I'll do it, but don't blame me if we wind up studying it all anyway."
"I will blame all of you. Rachel, help her make Hermione see sense," Theo said, smiling at Rachel.
Rachel managed a small smile back. "I'll see what I can do. I still have my notes from first year, and I bet Hermione does too. We could let Luna and Ginny prepare for year end exams off of those."
"That's a good idea. And next year, they can just borrow one of our two-way books, since we have all of our condensed notes in there," Theo said.
"We're going to need new two-way books before next year. I know it keeps adding pages, but have you noticed the pages are getting fewer at the back?" Millie asked.
Rachel had noticed that. She and Hermione had never gotten so far in the book they'd had together for them to run out of pages.
"Let's bring it up at the study session tomorrow. We can arrange to help pay for the books, Hermione shouldn't have to be the one paying for them all," Theo said.
Rachel nodded. "We can get Luna and Ginny a book too, that way they can reach us if they need to."
"Alright, but I refuse to start revising for final exams before the start of April," Theo said.
"We'll tell Hermione," Millie said. "Look, we've only got five minutes until class, we should go."
They went to Potions class and found Hermione, Neville, and Draco already there.
"Rachel's working with me today. Theo will work with you," Draco told Neville.
"Does Rachel want to work with you?" Hermione asked, staring at Draco.
"Of course she does, who wouldn't?" Draco's smile was very nearly a sneer.
"It's fine, just this once," Rachel said, not wanting to deal with a fight. "Is that okay?"
Neville nodded. "If you're sure it's okay with you."
Rachel nodded and put her things down next to Draco's.
Professor Snape entered the classroom from his office a few minutes later. "Seats. As you all know we will be brewing the Hair-Raising potion today. As this will take the full class period, I trust you have all come prepared after Monday's lecture. Inter-House partners. Send one of your group to collect three rat tails from the storeroom."
"You start powdering Billywig stings, I'll go get the rat tails," Draco instructed before getting up and going across the room.
Rachel set up her cauldron, got out her mortar and pestle, and opened her potions book to page 193 for the instructions to the Hair-Raising potion. She added seven Billywig stings to her mortar, being careful not to scratch herself with the sharp ends, and began to grind them.
"Rat tails," Draco said, plunking them down on the table. "Why haven't you ever worked with me in Potions before? We're on the Quidditch team together."
"I usually just work with my study group," Rachel said, not looking up from her work.
"Theo's in your study group, he works with me," Draco pointed out. "And I like you better than I like Theo."
Rachel didn't know what to say to that, so she just kept working.
"Other than me, you're the most talented person in potions in this class. We should work together more often," Draco persisted.
"We'll see," Rachel said, not wanting to commit to working more with Draco, but also not wanting to fight about it.
After that they worked in near silence, each of them announcing what they were doing before they added to the cauldron, stirred it, or changed the heat. She ground up dried nettles and porcupine quills and measured them into a two-fifths mixture. In between her work she looked up and watched Professor Snape, wondering what he was going to say at the House meeting. She was tempted to go ask him not to say anything, but she didn't think he'd listen when he'd already told everyone about the House meeting.
"See, perfect," Draco said as he lifted the stirring rod from the cauldron. Their potion was a bright emerald green. "You don't get results like that working with a Gryffindor."
Rachel filled two vials and passed one to Draco so he could write his name on it.
They were the first to bring Professor Snape their vials and he nodded after examining the vials. "Good work."
"If Professor Snape were another professor, he'd be announcing to the class how well we did," Draco said as Rachel started to clean up their table. "Professor Snape likes to keep his praise more private, because he has decorum. Not that I would mind if he did announce it to the class, of course. So everyone else could know what to strive for."
Rachel looked away and rolled her eyes. Their potion was fine, but it was nothing she couldn't have done working with anyone in her study group.
"You're dismissed once your workstations are clean," Professor Snape called.
Rachel finished packing up her potions kit and went over to her study group just in time to hear Millie explain that they couldn't come to the study room because they had a House meeting.
"Professor McGonagall never holds House meetings," Hermione said. "I wish she would. Our common room can be such a disaster. Does Professor Snape hold House meetings often?"
"Not often, just when he has something to say to all of us," Theo said, picking up his cauldron. "We should get going. We have a Transfiguration study group tonight after dinner, so we won't see you until Herbology tomorrow."
"See you then," Neville said.
They went back to the Slytherin common room and split up to go put their stuff away. Rachel sat on her bed for a moment, wondering if Professor Snape would notice if she didn't attend the House meeting.
"Are you okay?" Millie asked, coming over to sit next to Rachel. "You've seemed a little off these past two days."
Rachel shrugged. She didn't want to tell Millie what had happened. She didn't want to tell anyone.
Daphne and Pansy came in a moment later, carrying their cauldrons and potions kits.
"I heard Professor Snape is going to tell us why Leander is missing," Daphne said as she went to her wardrobe to put things away.
"I heard his parents removed him from school because of a secret marriage contract," Pansy said.
"To who?" Daphne asked.
"A princess," Pansy said.
"That's ridiculous," Millie said. "A princess from where? And no one uses marriage contracts anymore."
"Some pure-blood families still do," Daphne said. "Not many, but some. And it isn't unheard of for the child not to know until they turn of age."
"Leander has already turned eighteen. He would have found out a year ago," Millie pointed out.
Pansy sighed. "Don't you have any sense of romance?"
"I don't find it romantic to become married to someone I haven't even met," Millie said.
"Not even if he was a prince?" Pansy asked.
"Especially not a prince," Millie said firmly. "Come on, let's go out there before we're all the way in the back."
Rachel reluctantly followed her roommates back out into the common room.
Theo hurried over to join them. "You would not believe some of the rumors that are going around. Have either of you seen Leander since yesterday?"
"No, but I haven't really looked for him," Millie said.
"Rachel?" Theo asked.
"I haven't seen him," Rachel said quietly.
"Me neither," Theo said.
Before they could discuss it further a hush rippled over the room.
Professor Snape walked through the crowd of students and stood next to the fireplace. He looked around, seeming to search through them to see who was missing. "I need to speak to you regarding a very serious matter. As some of you may have noticed, your former seventh year prefect Leander Wickes is no longer at Hogwarts. He has been expelled and is in the custody of the MLE pending trial. Mr. Wickes has assaulted a number of younger students."
The room broke out in whispers and Rachel carefully edged herself further back.
"If any of you would like to speak to me regarding this matter, I am available in my office. I will also be here in the common room until dinner time to answer any questions you may have," Professor Snape continued, the room falling quiet again.
"Will you be choosing another seventh year prefect?" someone called.
"No, Miss Greenford will be the only seventh year Slytherin prefect for the remainder of the year. However, I am asking for volunteers who would be interested in leading the first and second year potions study groups to come speak to me so arrangements can be made," Professor Snape answered. "If anyone has any additional questions or concerns, please come see me. You are dismissed."
Rachel let out a sigh of relief. She hadn't really thought Professor Snape was going to announce what had happened to the whole House, but she hadn't known that he wouldn't either.
"Well, it's a good thing that Professor Snape found out what was happening and stopped it," Theo said.
Millie looked worried. "It is."
"Millie, nothing happened to you, did it?" Theo asked, his brow furrowing as he looked at her.
"What? No! I just, it's unsettling. To think of that happening here at Hogwarts," Millie said, still looking worried.
"Yeah, it is," Theo agreed. "Since the meeting is over so quickly, do we want to go join the others in the study room before dinner?"
"Yes, let's," Rachel said, eager to be out of the common room and away from this conversation.
"Feel free to send a letter or fire call me if you want to speak again," Severus said as he stood up from behind his desk.
Margaret and Thomas Monkleigh both stood as well, their expressions solemn.
"We'll want to be here when the MLE interviews Agnes, and we want her to come home for the Easter holiday," Margaret said.
"Of course, that can be arranged," Severus said immediately. He was amazed that none of the parents had removed their daughters from the school entirely.
"We'll contact you once the MLE gives us a time and date," Thomas said. "May we use your floo?"
"Yes, floo powder is on the mantle," Severus said, gesturing toward the tin.
The Monkleighs left by floo and Severus went into his quarters and sunk down into the armchair next to his fireplace. That had been the last of the meetings he'd needed to have with parents to inform them that their daughters had been assaulted while at Hogwarts.
Abigail Pugh had denied it vehemently while her mother sobbed. It wasn't until Severus explained that the MLE had given Leander Veritaserum to interview him that Abigail had admitted that something had happened and she had remained stone faced while her mother held her.
Tracey Nettlebed had said that she'd been too afraid of what Leander would do if she had told someone. Her father had angrily asked what Severus had been thinking, appointing a boy like that to be a prefect. Severus had explained that he had been unaware that Leander had abused any students until a student made a report.
Agnes Monkleigh had just cried while her parents had asked questions, though she'd been firm that she wanted to remain at Hogwarts when her mother started asking her if she wanted to transfer to Beauxbatons.
Severus sighed and put his hand to his forehead. He had to leave soon to go to London to speak with Torey. He had sent an owl to Torey on Tuesday night, hoping to meet with her as soon as possible, but she hadn't had any availability until today. As it was, Severus suspected she was staying late to see him. He only hoped she could help.
After allowing himself to wallow for another minute, he went and changed into attire that wouldn't draw any attention in muggle London and made his way out of the castle. The air was still chilly, as it was the second week of March, but it was a welcome relief after being in his classroom and his office all day. He made it past the gates and apparated.
The walk to Torey's office was short and he had only just sat down in the waiting area when Torey's door opened.
"Come in, Severus," she said.
Severus stood back up and went into her office, sitting in the chair he always took when he visited Torey to check on Rachel's progress.
"I understand from your owl that this meeting was urgent. Has something happened?" Torey asked as she sat in her desk chair and picked up a pen.
"Yes," Severus started, and then found himself reaching for the right words.
"Is Rachel alright?" Torey asked.
"She is alive and physically well," Severus said. He couldn't speak to her mental state. "She was assaulted by a prefect on Monday."
Torey's lips thinned slightly as she maintained her gaze. "When you say she was assaulted, what do you mean by that exactly?"
"A male prefect, my seventh year Slytherin prefect, took her to the prefect's bathroom, brought her into the bath, and forced her to masturbate him to completion," Severus said, gritting his teeth after the words were out of his mouth.
"Rachel told you this?" she asked, her tone and expression neutral.
"Rachel wrote me a note describing as such, though her words were less precise. I used legilimency on the prefect and witnessed his memory of the events, as well as him assaulting three other students," Severus explained.
Torey waited for a moment before speaking. "Usually I would say something here about legilimency being invasive, especially when the person you're using it on is a student and cannot consent. I can understand why you felt the need to corroborate what Rachel had told you."
"I had not believed that she'd lied," Severus said shortly. "However, I was not certain that she had written about all that took place."
Torey nodded. "Is this prefect still at Hogwarts?"
"No. I called the Headmaster and he expelled Leander and summoned the MLE. Leander is being held at the Ministry until his trial," Severus explained.
"That's something we'll need to prepare Rachel for," Torey said. "How is she handling this?"
"I don't know that she is. When I found her after I'd read the note, she had hidden herself away and I'd had to search for her. Her main concern was whether or not I was angry with her."
Torey nodded again. "That's a common concern among children who have been sexually abused or assaulted. They blame themselves for what has happened and they expect that other people will as well."
"She didn't understand why the MLE was involved or why Leander was removed from the school," Severus said, thinking back to his conversation with her. "I tried to explain to her that what Leander did was against the law, but she just seemed confused. She said that Leander hadn't hurt her."
"We've discussed before that Rachel was likely subjected to ongoing sexual abuse. Her frame of reference for this is skewed. Most likely the person who was abusing her was never caught and subject to the law, so Rachel doesn't have any understanding of how that system should work. To her, the abuse was just normal and a part of her life," Torey explained.
Severus looked away, guilt curdling in his stomach. If he hadn't sat idly by while Albus handed Lily's daughter over to Petunia this never would have happened. Not to mention, if he'd never made Leander a prefect, he wouldn't have had the opportunity to prey on any students. "I must admit my responsibility," he said stiffly.
"Because you chose Leander as a prefect?" Torey asked.
Severus inclined his head.
"Was there any doubts that you had when you chose him as a prefect?" Torey asked.
"No. He was the best student in the House in his year, and he got along well with the other students. A natural leader," Severus said, remembering making the decision three years ago. It had been obvious at the time, he hadn't even needed to put any thought into it.
"Then how were you supposed to know that he'd abuse other students?" Torey asked.
He shook his head, wondering if there had been anything to find in Leander's mind three years ago that would have caused him doubt.
"Some people who commit acts of sexual abuse are naturally gregarious and maneuver themselves into positions of power or into positions of authority over children. That Leander did so is not your fault," Torey said. "Blaming yourself will not stop this from happening again."
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"People who will hurt others to gain power over them are out there. There is nothing we can do about that except for pay attention and stop them when we see something happening."
Severus knew many people like that, most of them Death Eaters.
"We can't stop things from happening before they happen. We're witches and wizards, not gods. The best we can do is to stop them happening again when we can," Torey continued. "Also, think about how much progress you've made with Rachel. She came to you and told you that someone had hurt her. This time last year she was still rather wary of you."
"In her note, she wrote that she was telling me this because I had asked her to," Severus said.
"Good. That means she's listening to you," Torey said. "It also means you need to stop blaming yourself. Rachel will look to you for how she's supposed to respond and likely she'll interpret your guilt as being her fault. We both need to send the message to her that none of this was her fault and that nothing she did caused it."
Severus nodded. "There will be someone from MLE coming to interview her and the other students who were assaulted by Leander."
"And that's something we'll need to prepare her for as well. Tell her about it in advance and reinforce that she is the one that gets to choose who is there with her when she has the interview, if she wants someone there at all. In the meantime, I'll work with her on bodily autonomy and consent. I think it would be wise if our sessions returned to once a week for the time being," Torey said.
"I was going to suggest that as well," Severus said. "What am I supposed to say to her, to comfort her?"
"I think what will likely help the most is to keep things normal and to offer support. Offer to let her talk to you about anything she wants. Maybe offer if she wants to have dinner with you twice a week so she can spend more time with you," Torey suggested.
Severus nodded. He could do that.
"Are your other students receiving support?" Torey asked.
"I had their parents in to inform them of what had happened. It went about as well as you would expect." Which was to say, not very well at all.
"When you communicate with the parents next, perhaps suggest to them that if their child seems to need additional support, there are Mind Healers and therapists who can help. You're welcome to have them send an owl to me, and I can direct them to the appropriate resources," Torey said.
"I will," Severus said. After what he'd seen in his office, he thought they likely did need more support than they were getting.
"Is there anything else we should discuss before I see Rachel on Saturday?" Torey asked.
"No, thank you. I think we've covered everything," Severus said as he stood.
Torey stood up as well. "Thank you for contacting me when you did. It helps for me to be prepared."
"Of course," Severus said. He had come to Torey in order to get help for Rachel, but she had also given him a lot to think about.
"Rachel, come on in," Torey said shortly after she opened the door to her office.
Rachel glanced at Professor Snape and then got up and went into Torey's office, taking her usual spot on the couch. She hadn't really decided what she was going to do yet - she didn't want to lie when Torey asked her about the last two weeks, but she also didn't really want to talk about what was going on either.
"How are you doing?" Torey asked as she sat in her chair.
Rachel shrugged. "I'm okay."
"Professor Snape came to see me on Thursday. He told me about what happened on Monday," Torey said.
Rachel looked away. She kind of wished he hadn't done that.
"Does it bother you that Professor Snape told me?" Torey asked when Rachel didn't reply.
"No," Rachel said. It didn't bother her exactly, she just didn't want to talk about it and now she had to.
"When Professor Snape talks to me, I keep what you say to me confidential. The only reason I would tell him something is if I was worried about your safety or the safety of someone else, and I would talk to you about talking to him beforehand," Torey explained.
"What does he ask you?" Rachel asked. She'd known Professor Snape had talked to Torey occasionally, but she wasn't sure what they talked about.
"He asks me how you are doing in general, and I tell him that we're making progress. Sometimes he asks me for parenting advice."
Rachel blinked. "Parenting advice? I thought parenting was just something that people kind of did?"
"This is his first time being a parent, so it's natural he has some questions. Everyone gets parenting advice, even people who are starting off with newborn babies or people who have been parents for years. Raising a child isn't something you just know how to do," Torey explained.
"Oh. I thought parents sort of had a thing, where they knew, because of biology or something," Rachel said. Her memories of school where they'd talked about animals raising their young seemed like a long time ago.
"There are some instincts that are natural, that's true. But even new mothers who are breastfeeding can use some advice about how to help their baby latch, or when they might consider bottle feeding instead of breastfeeding. Parenting, like everything else, is a learning process. Trial by error can be useful, but a lot of the time it makes sense to ask for help," Torey said.
"Do you have children?" Rachel asked, realizing that she didn't know.
"No, I don't, though I've worked with children for about twenty years now," Torey said.
"Are you married?" Rachel asked.
"No, I'm not, though I did have a fiance for a while, though that didn't work out in the end."
Rachel shifted about on the couch. "Is it okay, not to want to get married or have children? Do lots of people do that? Professor Snape's not married, and I don't think the other professors at Hogwarts are either."
"It's certainly okay. There are plenty of people who don't get married and don't have children, or do get married and don't have children, or don't get married and have children anyway. It's not something you have to decide now. Do you think you might want to be married or have children in the future?" Torey asked.
"I don't know. I don't think so," Rachel said. "Aunt Petunia said people were supposed to though. There was a woman who lived near us who had two children, but she'd never been married. Aunt Petunia said that she was a loose woman."
The corner of Torey's mouth twitched in a near smile. "Some people do judge people for their choices, but there's really no need to. If that woman was happy with her children and with not being married, there's nothing wrong with that. Anyway, you have plenty of time to decide if you want to be married or have children. People often don't decide that until they're in their thirties or even later."
Rachel nodded. She really didn't think she would get married or have children, but that was still a long way off.
"Can we talk about how you've been doing this past week?" Torey asked.
Rachel shrugged and then had an idea. Maybe Torey could help her after all. "Can I ask you about something?"
"Absolutely," Torey said.
Rachel pulled her knee up to her chest as she tried to figure out a way to explain. "Sometimes, before I went to Hogwarts, if something bad was happening I could go to my nowhere place. When I was with Leander, I tried and I couldn't go and I don't know why. Do you know why it didn't work?"
Torey tilted her head slightly. "Can you tell me about your nowhere place? What is it like?"
"It's like nothingness. I still know where I am, but I'm not really there anymore. I don't feel what's happening to my body and I'm not really looking at anything, I'm just kind of nowhere at all," Rachel explained.
"That sounds a lot like disassociation," Torey said. "People often describe it as being away from their body or not connected to their body. Sometimes people will lose time and be surprised when they check the clock. When it happens, do you notice if you're missing time?"
Rachel nodded and wrapped her arms around her leg, pulling it against her chest. "It gets dark really fast when I go there. It was usually light out when we left the house, and then it would be dark but it didn't seem like much time had passed. But why couldn't I go there this time?"
"I don't know. For most people disassociation is something that happens to them, not something that they initiate," Torey said.
"But I could do it before," Rachel said quickly. "Was what happened with Leander just not bad enough for it to work?"
"There really isn't such a thing as bad enough. Abuse or assault doesn't have to be a specific act to be bad. All of it is a violation of yourself and your bodily autonomy. You have the right to decide what happens to your body, not anyone else," Torey said.
Rachel shrugged. "Leander didn't really do much of anything to me."
"He used your body against your will to fulfill his sexual desires. What he did was wrong, on multiple levels. Do you remember when we talked about consent?" Torey asked.
Rachel nodded and pulled her other leg up on the couch.
"You were not in a position to consent to that, even if you had wanted to. You are twelve years old, Leander is an adult. He was in a position of authority over you. What happened is his fault, not yours," Torey said firmly.
"I don't want to talk about this right now," Rachel said into her knees. Her stomach felt like it was tied in knots, just like it had been when Professor Snape had come to find her after she'd left the note.
"Okay. We can talk about it when you're ready to talk about it. But it is important that we do talk about it. Talking is one of the ways we learn to understand things and process things. It helps us manage our emotions and reduces shame we might feel about things that have happened."
Rachel shrugged. She didn't care. There were just some things that it didn't make sense to talk about. Nothing could be done about them anyway.
"Do you want to tell me about anything else that's happened over these past two weeks?" Torey asked.
Rachel thought about it. "Hermione and Theo are bickering."
"About something specific?"
"Revision for our exams. Hermione's ready to start but Theo refuses to start before April. I'm kind of with Theo on this one. If we start revising now we won't remember the earlier stuff when it comes time to take our exams," Rachel explained.
"That makes sense. Has anyone suggested a compromise?" Torey asked.
"Like what?" Rachel asked.
"Maybe if you wait until April to start, you can all contribute to a revision schedule. Having a schedule set up in advance might help Hermione feel less anxious about the exams," Torey suggested.
Rachel sat up straighter. "I think the better compromise would be we don't start until April and Hermione gets to make up the whole schedule. She probably would anyway, but if it's offered this way, she might be willing to wait."
"There you go," Torey said.
"Pansy and Daphne say that if a girl and a boy argue, that means they like each other. Is that true?" Rachel asked.
Torey smiled. "In general, no. People argue for many reasons. Do you think Hermione and Theo like each other?"
Rachel shook her head. "No. I think they're just friends. I think Pansy and Daphne just like talking about who likes each other."
"There's a wide range of maturity at your age. Some boys and girls are ready to start thinking about liking people, and might even have a boyfriend or a girlfriend they like to spend time with and hold hands, but many aren't yet. Both are okay," Torey said.
"I think it's silly," Rachel said. "People should just be friends, it's a lot less work."
"That's true, but sometimes people have feelings that make them want to be a different kind of friend with someone. It's okay if you don't though."
Rachel wrinkled her nose. "I don't ever want to have those feelings. I just want to stay friends with my friends, and for Hermione and Theo to stop arguing."
"That would be nice," Torey agreed.
Rachel nodded. It was the only thing that made sense, really.