Chapter 22
-Alec-
"So why did we pick the time before they made enough money to be worth stealing, again?" I asked Lisa. Tattletale, now that she was in costume. Aisha was behind her, wearing the mask she got from the crazy girl. I wasn't quite sure how the grey demon mask was supposed to go with the fashion disaster that was her purple hoodie, beyond Aisha's crack that "they wouldn't believe it if they saw it". Brian had been more annoyed that this was apparently the most clothes he'd seen her in since fourth grade.
"You'd rather do this when Hookwolf's around instead?" she snapped back, taking her eyes off the decrepit-looking building Aisha had found for us.
"Half the dogs would be dead by then," Rachel grumbled. Her foot was tapping restlessly, the dogs behind us lion-sized and growing.
"Alright, gimme a moment and then it's time to go," Grue commanded, smoke pouring off him. The blackness pooled at his feet for a moment before thin tendrils started to ooze out along the ground around the corner. I had to resist the urge to laugh. Even with half the street lights burnt out and the overcast sky tonight, Grue's power made everything else look bright in comparison. The tendrils fanned out. Some of them started flowing slowly towards the building while the rest slithered over and started to inch their way up the backsides of the nearest streetlights. When they reached the top, Grue pumped more of his power through them until there were little disks of darkness hovering just above them.
"You know, Skullface, if your power wasn't completely intangible you'd be a shoo-in for the tentacle monster club."
Grue's helmet twisted towards me, probably to glare, but he didn't otherwise respond before Lisa groaned. "Why is that a thing that exists? I mean… No. Not going there."
"...Can we just do this?" Grue held up three fingers, slowly counting down. The smoke pouring off of him redoubled, and suddenly the thin disks above the lights grew into small blobs, blotting them out. The tendrils aimed towards the building thickened as his power flooded through them to envelop the guards. "And…" His countdown reached zero. "Go."
I flipped him off, then had to double time it to keep up so I didn't lose track of him in the dark - the last time that happened sucked pretty hard - as we followed him around the corner. Rachel whistled, and what little sound wasn't already eaten by Grue's smoke was immediately drowned out by her still-growing dogs charging ahead. The first guard didn't even know what hit him. Another apparently managed to fall over in surprise.
The guards were pinned beneath the dogs by the time we ran up to the warehouse, which was a little boring, but I preferred being bored to getting shot. Judging by the shouting I heard each time Grue uncovered one of them, the Nazis were eager to make that choice for me. I poked the nearest one with my scepter a few times until the dog let his limp ass go and then moved on as Grue opened up a path to the next one. The last one wasn't actually being held down by a dog, but trying and failing to stand up. Isn't that the guy who tripped on his own feet?
The moment Grue turned toward me as if to ask if I had anything to do about it, Imp reappeared, sitting on his back. She waved at us and jumped off. What was I doing again? Oh, right. I tazed the last Nazi while Grue approached the warehouse. He stopped to the side of the entrance, keeping watch as he began to pour darkness through it, his earlier tendrils having already spread out to wrap around almost the entire building to block off cell service, in case they hadn't called for help yet. The response was a salvo of bullets punching through the door. He waited until the shots stopped, then signaled Rachel. I really wasn't sure why he bothered, it wasn't like her dogs haven't shrugged off being shot before, but… eh, what do I care.
I stood at the edge of Grue's smoke, poking my face out of it to keep watch on the street with Lisa while Grue, Rachel and the dogs mopped up the mooks inside. Watch duty was boring as shit, but this was pretty far into Empire turf so I was still debating if it was worth using my power on the unconscious guards to make them slap themselves for my amusement or hold off just in case I needed it later when we got the all clear from inside and Grue's smoke started to pull back.
The van we'd brought for the rescued dogs drove up, some girl Lisa must've hired sitting in the driver's seat. The others loaded the caged dogs in the back and dragged the beaten-up Nazis out on the sidewalk. Lisa and Rachel had matching frowns when they noticed the animals pressed against the bars of the cages, away from the front of the car. A few of the smaller ones were even whining. Still, we managed to wrap the task up before long. Now for the fun part, I noted when Lisa got in the shotgun seat and handed Grue the box of glass bottles. She gestured at me to come over.
"'Sup?" I asked. She just handed me the phone.
"You make the call," she said. "Since your aim sucks."
"Oh, c'mon! My aim isn't that... Fucking…" I slumped slightly. "Fine!" I still couldn't believe they'd make me do this, but I took the burner phone and dialed 911. "Yeah. Whatever. Hi." I interrupted the dispatch lady who answered. "They want me to tell you that we're setting fire to that ugly ass warehouse on Tremont Street. The one with the- Ho...ly… shit!"
Grue's first throw had gone wide, and instead of smashing through the window the bottle full of that gasoline and packing peanuts stuff had shattered against the wall next to it and there was fire dripping down the side of the building. "Dude!" I hung up on the 911 lady and ran over to grab one of the bottles before he could throw them all. "That's fucking awesome!"
Grue just pushed me aside with his free hand, the jerk. Suddenly, the van's engine roared behind us, and we turned around to watch it speed away. Lisa's screaming was easily heard through the open window.
"WHAT? Cass, nooo…" her voice trailed off as the van rode off into the distance.
Brian and I looked at each other, then dashed towards the dogs waiting for us. Rachel whistled almost before I managed to get a good grip on the ugly thing's spikes, and we started chasing the van.
Luckily for Lisa's sanity, Taylor slowed the van down once the burning building was out of sight and managed to drive the van somewhat more sanely. We finally caught up to her when, a couple of blocks away, she was stopped by a red light. She likely would have escaped us again when it turned green, but she'd apparently decided that this was an excellent place to jump out of the van.
Riding towards her, we watched her run up to the car in front of her, where the crazy girl proceeded to knock enthusiastically on the driver's window. He tried to ignore her, but that was made... difficult... when she punched through the window to rip the phone he'd been talking on out of his hand, then crush it. He was about to yell at her, but she beat him to it, ranting incoherently, at least from as far away as we were, about using his phone while driving. His final straw was when he noticed us - or rather, the dogs we were riding - and suddenly decided he had other places to be, his car be damned.
Taylor watched him climb out of the car and flee down the street before she made her way back to the van. She tried to climb back into the driver's seat only to find Lisa had taken it over during her absence. After her puppy eyes failed on Lisa, the vampire haughtily walked away and disappeared around a corner. While all this happened, the light had cycled back around to red again. Given that this is Brockton Bay, that slight delay meant we got front row seats as some girl stole the dude's car and drove off with it as soon as the light changed back to green. Lisa just sort of stared forward for a moment, mouth opening and closing, before she shook herself and drove the van the rest of the way to the shelter with us following along behind her. Once the van was safely parked and her hands were off the wheel, she broke down in hysterical laughter.
When she didn't respond to being poked, I put my finger on my nose and let Brian know he'd be the one carrying her back to the loft.
An hour later, Taylor and Aisha showed up at the loft, holding ice cream cones. Aisha was already eating hers, while Taylor offered her untouched one to Lisa.
"Fine, fine, I forgive you," the blonde sighed. "But you do understand that's not going to make me more willing to let you drive again, right?"
Taylor nodded sheepishly.
"Oh no, genius, you don't get to go 'apology accepted' yet!" Aisha cut in. "Why the hell did you guys leave me behind at that warehouse? I had to walk all the way back here on foot!"
"Hey, don't look at me!" Lisa said defensively. "I was stuck riding shotgun with your crazy friend. I get that you're pyrophobic, Taylor," she said, looking at the vampire, "but did you have to give me a heart attack too?"
"...Perhaps it is a poor day for navigation, when Mars shines bright in the sky," the other girl hedged. Lisa gave her an unimpressed look, then turned back to Aisha.
"And don't think you're off the hook, either. I know it wasn't Taylor that stole the keys from me."
"Aisha. What the hell. Were you thinking?" Brian asked, sticking his head in and clearly trying not to yell.
"...That I'd get to drive the van too?" She turned to look at her partner in crime, gesturing at her with the remains of her ice cream cone. "Taylor promised!"
"Forsooth, my words did indeed lend themselves to such conclusions, but I must confess 'twas not my intent." Even I could practically feel Brian's relief at that as Taylor shrugged apologetically. "While useful in relocating our canine companions to their new home, I do fear that you would find it difficult to drive when forced to choose between your feet reaching the pedals and your eyes reaching the road." She held out her hand, indicating how the top of Aisha's head stopped below her nonexistent tits.
"Oh come on, Taylor!" Aisha protested. "I could do it just fine!"
"But I shall indeed make good my promise to you of a chance at driving!" She ruffled Aisha's hair, then produced a second set of keys from nowhere. "For reasons still lost even to me, a man chose to be most foolish this day and risked not only his own life but that of the nice lady who would cross the street in front of him as he argued on his phone. He is unlikely to thank us for depriving him of his prison sentence, yet as I find myself unconcerned with his opinions, I see no reason why you should let them concern you either."
Aisha grabbed at the keys with a delighted look and a "Gimme!", but Taylor lifted them up, just out of her reach. "A promise of your own first, Little Imp. We loop around the block only twice, not thrice. On this I must insist."
"Hey! Don't I get a say in this?" Brian asked indignantly.
"No!" I answered alongside the two of them, almost managing to join the creepy unison thing they pulled off. I shrugged as Lisa looked over at me and laughed.
"Why?" Aisha asked, shooting me a smile as Lisa settled down. "What's so bad about going 'around' three times?"
"As that very same nice lady does not wish to live forevermore in the market, she finds herself forced to leave and travel home. I shall be most cross if my efforts today yield naught but delaying her fate by mere hours."
"So… If I go around three times I'll hit her? And it's the same lady the guy you took the car from would have hit?" Aisha asked with a thoughtful look. "I mean… Dayum, some people have just the worst luck." She shook her head before brightening up again. "Wait...can't you tell me where she'll be so I can just not hit her?"
"But then we shall be late!" Taylor said, shaking her head.
"Late?"
"Yes! Very late indeed! For while the fool is not a fit man, his walk home does eventually complete and then the watchmen will be called."
"We're… giving him his car back?" Aisha tilted her head, looking as confused as I was. I'd been thinking about going with them, but walking back? Gross. Then again, I'd probably get to stare at her ass… Meh. Aisha's hot, but I can always just fire up DDR when– Wait, no. Doing anything like that when the sun is down is like volunteering to get fucking eaten. Heh! I'm only likely to be beaten by a Grue when it's bright out. If it's pitch black, the vampire gets me first.
"Why would we keep it?" Taylor frowned, cocking her head to the side. "It has a broken window."
"...Fair enough," Aisha agreed after a pause, jumped to her feet and started dragging Taylor by the hand. "Come on then, let's go!"