AN: I hope you all are safe and well wherever you are :) Thank you to the amazing ASadAir who continues to edit and improve this story, I am so grateful!
The one thing that makes Blair grateful for the Vanderbilts, who swooped into Nate's life that fateful Freshman Year, is the luxury of heated leather seats and a premium sound system. It makes her forget about the chilly interior of the train and the monotonous elevator soundtrack that will never merit a place on any of her playlists. Though she does think to herself, it's not as cozy as Dan's car – not that she'd ever admit that to Dan.
She convinced Nate into coming to Raina's New Year's Eve party just by showing him a photo of her obnoxiously beautiful friend. A year ago, she would have felt jealous at his lingering stare but now, the envy doesn't stir. Instead, she just feels happy she will be getting into the city sooner than she would have on the next Manhattan-bound Amtrak.
As she and Nate head further south, in a companionable silence, she stares out the window watching the highway blur past.
"So Raina is single, right?" Nate asks, again. She's getting a bit exhausted by this line of questioning.
"Yes," Blair shakes her head. "I already told you that, remember? When I showed you her photo?"
"Good." Nate winks at her. "I need someone to kiss at midnight."
"Ew," Blair wrinkles her nose. "Spare me the details in the morning, okay?"
"What about you?" Nate asks, glancing over at her as they speed along the traffic-less highway in the early morning light. "Who's this Dan guy you keep talking about? I'm wondering if I should find out what his intentions are."
Nate's big brother act is not new to Blair, he pulled the same thing with Marcus way back in high school. But now, instead of irritating her, it endears her. "You definitely don't need to worry. We're just friends."
Nate seems to accept this, nodding and refocusing his attention on the road. Blair types a quick text to Raina with their ETA, also letting her know that Nate is excited to meet her.
She responds with a screenshot of Nate's Instagram feed which she must have been cyberstalking and says:
How have you hidden him this long?
Blair didn't tell Raina that Nate was the "will they or won't they" who led her to banish any thoughts of pursuing relationships with any future male best friends. Like Dan Humphrey. It was irrelevant now, she thought so at least. Nate hadn't even managed to elicit a single heart palpitation which was all the confirmation Blair needed that she was finally over him.
So he was Raina's now, for all Blair cared. At best, for one night. She wasn't even too concerned that her friend was more excited to see Nate than her because at least she knew Dan would be relieved to see her again. Dan had told her that he "weirdly missed" seeing her every day, as though it was an unfathomable concept.
She didn't tell him that she missed him too. When she tried, she couldn't physically type out the words with her clammy hands and was relieved he couldn't see her face over text.
The idea of Nate and Dan meeting was strange to her, as though her two worlds were colliding.
And for some reason, she wasn't quite ready.
Dan had planned to pick Blair up from the station on the day of New Year's Eve. But instead, he had awoken to a text from her saying that she caught a ride with Nate and she would just see him at the party.
Disappointment clouds his morning as he eats a piece of burnt toast and lukewarm coffee. He had been excited to pick her up and have the whole day together in the city. They could have gone to the best bagel spot he knew of and maybe even hopped on a subway bound for Brooklyn so he could show her where he was from.
There was even a playlist – one she maybe would have approved of. Okay, probably not, he thinks to himself, but still.
As he halts this train of thought, he decides he can at least be happy for her that she is getting more time with her best friend. Or maybe more-than-a-friend. Either way, it was fine. If Nate and Blair had begun dating over the break, he and Blair would still be friends and everything would be the same.
Because his feelings were strictly platonic and not of the romantic nature. He bites into his toast and feels satisfied by this thought as it crunches beneath his teeth.
A tiny ray of pain seems to shoot out of his chest just then, as though his heart was trying to disagree with his head.
Writing has always been the best distraction from his emotions so he sets aside his sad breakfast and opens up his laptop. Immediately he begins typing, desperate to lose himself in the words that will make him forget the wave of confusing feelings rushing through him this morning. At first, it's just gibberish, but by noon it begins to morph into something that with a few revisions, could be his greatest work yet.
"Hey Dan," Serena glides into the kitchen. "What time is your friend getting in?"
Serena has taken to humanizing Blair, it seems, by calling her his friend rather than by his name. It is more favorable than 'charity case' as Georgina insists on referring to her as so he doesn't correct her. "She's meeting me at the party."
"I'm kind of bummed you're missing Chuck's annual NYE rager." Serena sits on a barstool across from him and gives him a devious look. "What if I subdue Georgina with a special concoction? Then would you and your friends come?"
Dan shakes his head. "No, although, maybe you can do me that favor when I'm back at school. She's been unbearable lately."
"I know." Serena huffs. "I'm sort of dodging her today. Sometimes she's a little much even for me."
Dan looks up from his keyboard curiously. "Really? This is interesting. Why the change?"
As fast as the annoyance was on Serena's face, it disappears. "Who knows," She shrugs. "Anyway, I should go start getting ready for tonight. If you change your mind tonight, you know where to find us."
"See you, Serena." He says as she walks away. He shuts his laptop and decides to go back to his room where he left his phone, maybe Blair has texted him by now.
There's a message on his screen:
Nate and I just got into the city! See you at Raina's tonight, 7 PM? :)
Dan types back:
Sure, see you then
He glances at the clock, seeing he still has six hours to kill before tonight. Making a grudging retreat back to his laptop, he decides there's no excuse to not keep writing.
The elevator ascends to Raina's penthouse and within a few floors, Dan can feel the pulsing of the music. Blair had told him that it wouldn't actually start till nine but clearly she was off.
He finds Georgina getting in his head just as the doors open and a shadow of envy hangs over him as he crosses the threshold. But then, Blair is crossing the tiled floors beaming at him. A gimlet hangs loosely between her fingers and if he weren't so relieved to see her, he'd be concerned it may clatter to the ground.
"I thought it might be you," She steps toward him and there's an awkward moment where they just stand there somewhere between hugging and waving. Until, Blair's arms come around him tentatively and she says, "I'm glad you're here."
He lets out a breath, his arms dropping away from her as she steps back. "Me too."
She sways just a little bit. If it weren't for the drink, he wonders, would she still have hugged him? Deciding it doesn't matter, he lets her lead him to the kitchen where Raina is mixing drinks for everyone. "Dan! Let's get you a drink!"
The co-ed group surrounding Raina only contains one familiar face, Epperley, and she raises her glass to him.
"How was the drive down with Nate?" Dan asks after he takes a whiskey sour from Raina and thanks her. "I take it he has better taste in music with a far superior sound system than my humble vehicle." He tries to not let the Georgina-induced jealousy seep into his tone.
Blair takes a sip of her weaning drink and looks at him earnestly. "It turns out your car has unsuspectingly charmed me into the comfort of its worn seats and tinny audio so I suppose you might say, it paled in comparison. Or maybe it was the company."
Before he has a chance to respond, she tugs him out of the kitchen. "Speaking of, there's Nate…" She points to a preppy-looking guy by the fireplace. "Come meet him."
"Okay…" Dan follows, feeling peculiar at finally meeting Nate the Great.
"Nathaniel, I would like to introduce you to Dan Humphrey." Blair mock formally indicates Dan.
"Hey man," Nate offers his hand. "It's great to meet you. Blair hasn't stopped talking about you since Yale. I've gotten the feeling she would have dropped out if it weren't for you."
Dan glances at Blair who pushes a lock of hair behind her hair. Suddenly, composed, "Only because of Georgina."
"Right…" Nate laughs.
"Well, I must say the same for you. Blair speaks very highly of you." Dan says, watching as Nate nods emphatically and throws an arm around Blair's shoulder.
He notes the gesture seems more brotherly than romantic and he finds he feels a bit reassured.
"As she should." Nate turns to Blair. "Oh, my drink is empty, think Raina will make me another?"
"I'm sure she will," She shoves him toward the kitchen, "But you're a big boy, you go ask her."
Blair turns to Dan, "He's been like an obsessive puppy. Come on, let's see the Thorpes' insane library."
Dan follows Blair, watching the tiny, onyx crystals of her black dress shimmer in the dimly-lit hallways. "How was your break?"
"Oh you know," She shrugs. "As dull as I described via text. I did have something sort of interesting happen on the train ride up though." She says tentatively as they round a corner.
"Yeah?"
"This way." She opens a set of double doors before continuing. "I got an email, more like a letter, from an ex-boyfriend- if you can call him that, from high school. He is sort of a British lord." She pulls a book with an uncracked spine from one of the shelves spanning the expansive room.
Dan is glad for the distraction of the library as he processes this and how it makes him feel. "Did it say anything interesting?"
"He's in town, some consulate meeting, I think I might meet up with him tomorrow." Blair sits down in an armchair, setting her empty glass on a coaster on the side table.
Dan takes this in, noting the countless shelves of pristine and untouched books. "Is this one of those libraries that's more about the idea of having a library rather than actually wanting a place to house all your beloved books?"
"You would know better than I would," Blair remarks. "But probably."
"So is it a good thing or a bad thing?" Dan asks, jumping back to the topic of Marcus.
"A bad thing, obviously." Dan feels a sigh of relief ebb out of him. "I mean, I thought Raina's family was humbler, being self-made at all, but clearly they have some of the same facets of the status-obsessed old money blue bloods they mingle with."
"I meant Marcus." Dan says, smiling slightly. "But I agree about the books. I mean, who's actually even read Ulysses?"
"Certainly not Russell Thorpe." Blair gets up from the chair. "I guess I'll find out tomorrow. I figured it couldn't hurt but to be honest, I hadn't really thought about him in a long time. So I'm not too invested. Should we go back and join the others now?"
"Sure."
They discover that the party has more than doubled, along with nearly everyone's blood alcohol levels. Dan follows Blair into the living room and they find that a real bartender has replaced Raina and they get in line for another round.
Midnight feels like it's still a century away but twilight creeps over the party faster than Dan would have expected. A drunk Epperley comes up to him at one point and asks him who he plans to kiss at midnight in a way that could insinuate it should be Epperly herself but more likely seems to be in reference to Blair who had stepped away to reapply lipstick.
He dodged the question by turning it back around on her. But the idea lingers in his brain and the more alcohol he consumes, the more the realization cements that he undeniably would like to kiss Blair.
But then, he remembers her date- or maybe it's not a date, but the reunion with her ex and can't decide if it's the worst or the best timing.
"What are you so deep in thought about?" Blair asks at 11:50. "Stop being so gloomy, it's almost midnight. Don't tell me you'd rather be with Georgina and co."
"Definitely not," He turns his attention away from the floor-to-ceiling window. "I just was deciding whether I'm dreading or looking forward to returning to school."
"I'm firmly divided between both. Excited to get back to Yale, classes, and passing notes with you. Not happy about having to see the devil incarnate, Georgina."
"That's fair." Dan agrees. "So let's not think about it yet. Should we go join this presumptive midnight countdown? I think most of them are way off, hopefully, someone sober enough will be able to take over the actual count down."
"That would likely be you." Blair says, finishing her drink and then fetching two flutes of champagne off a passing waiter's tray.
They cluster into the crowded living room and watch a muted flatscreen showing Time Square. Epperly nudges Dan in the back and when he turns, she's gesturing wildly toward Blair. She stops just before Blair glances over to see and then shoots Dan an apologetic smile.
The reminder of what he should do makes him feel paralyzed with nervous, overthinking energy. The clear-headed Dan of a few hours ago could have mentally weighed the ramifications of kissing Blair at midnight, but now with alcohol muddling his thoughts... Logic and desire seem like a poor match.
"Ten," the group chants. "Nine, eight…"
The count continues and he and Blair keep their eyes fixed ahead until it reaches three. "Two, one…"
He turns to face her, suddenly feeling a course of confidence and takes a step toward her. "Happy New Year, Blair."
Confetti dances across her features and her eyes drop, then reach his again, her expression changing as she leans forward and hugs him.
It's an overwhelming confirmation of the fact that he waited just a split second too long. "Happy New Year, Dan."
His foolish wish for her makes him hear disappointment in her tone. But it can't really be there.
"May this year bring more classes together, more notes, and less Georgina Sparks." Her expression is suddenly beaming and she holds out his glass to him.
He clinks his own flute against hers weakly. "And better soundtracks to long drives."
"Indeed," Blair takes a gulp of champagne as Dan downs his.
Tomorrow, he'll replay this one-minute moment so many times until it feels like it spanned an hour. But he won't find any traces of feelings that he can ultimately use to uncloud what must be a shifting dynamic between them.